Lovefraud Blog

Why did I want to hug the sociopath, even though I know he is bad?

June 24, 2021 // by Donna Andersen// 30 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2021: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as "amhealing2012." She ran across her disordered ex, and suddenly wanted to hug the sociopath. Why? Miss Donna, I spoke by email to you about 2 years ago about a guy I had been dating. You confirmed he was indeed a sociopath. I have had no contact at all for over a year and a half. Strangely he has been on my mind a lot the last few weeks, thinking I saw him and thinking about him. Today while coming out of the mall with my older daughter I heard his voice say, "I hope you found what you were looking for." I turned and there he was with that cute grin on his face. IF not for my daughter being by me …

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After the Sociopath, Honour, Respect and Love Yourself

June 21, 2021 // by Liberty Forrest// Leave a Comment

Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, advises that it's always important to honour, respect and love yourself, despite what you've endured from the sociopath. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest My last article, After the Sociopath, Honor Your Perfect Spirit, was about the ways in which you might be hurting yourself and neglecting your Spirit. Although it isn't essential, you might want to have a peek at that post before reading this one, as they fit together rather well. I ended it with these words: "Please. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Honour, respect and love yourself. It is what …

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Why I wrote, ‘Bow Down B**ch!’

June 18, 2021 // by Lovefraud Reader// 1 Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud offers authors who write about their experience with sociopaths an opportunity to tell the Lovefraud community about their books. Aleena Grace Barteau wrote, "Bow Down B**ch! — Being a Fool, Loving a Liar; under the controlling power of an abusive man," which is available on Amazon. By Aleena Grace Barteau My abuser is a sociopath. I had never heard the term before until one day when I met with my counselor in a desperate attempt to “fix” the relationship—because I loved my abuser so much. My therapist, who had a Ph.D. in psychology, had been working with the two of us. After spending much time with us both, running some psychological tests on my partner, and o …

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After the Sociopath, Honor Your Perfect Spirit

June 14, 2021 // by Liberty Forrest// Leave a Comment

Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, reminds you that even if you feel crushed by a deceptive sociopath, you should still honor your perfect spirit. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Following on from last week's article, Who Do You See in the Mirror? I'm going to ask you another question. And again, please take a moment or two to consider your answer before continuing to read. Ready? Okay. When's the last time you hurt yourself? Please think about that for a moment... I'm really curious about what your answer was. It will depend, of course, on what the question meant to you. Chances are …

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How people of the Dark Triad implode: The link is self-sabotage

June 13, 2021 // by Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP// Leave a Comment

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS The term Dark Triad always fascinated me. The name sounds so ominous – images of Darth Vader from Star Wars come to mind, as if nothing worse could possibly exist in the universe. The Dark Triad encompasses three sociopathic disorders — psychopathy, narcissistic personality disorder and Machiavellianism. These individuals are considered to be the most socially harmful of all sociopaths. Still, they often don’t get away with their exploitation forever — they may eventually crash and burn, usually due to self-sabotage. People of the Dark Triad meet diagnostic criteria (per the DSM-5) for Narcissistic Personality Disorder coupled with psychopathy and a Machiav …

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Who Do You See in the Mirror?

June 7, 2021 // by Liberty Forrest// Leave a Comment

Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, asks, who do you see in the mirror? Someone you've been conditioned to see — or your true essence? Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest I'm gonna ask you a question now. And I want you to be reeeeeally honest with your answer, okay? I don't want you to read beyond the question until you've taken a moment and answered it because I really want you to think about it. Ready? Okay, here goes: Who do you see when you look in a mirror? Stop for a moment and take in that question...This can be a revealing and powerful little exercise if you give yourself a moment to a …

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The eyes of a sociopath

June 6, 2021 // by Donna Andersen// 44 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2021. Sociopaths are hiding in all segments of society. They can be male, female, all races, all religions, all ethnic groups, old, young, rich, poor, good-looking, homely. Only one aspect of their appearance may hint at their personality disorder: The eyes of a sociopath. If you've had any type of involvement with a sociopath, you may have noticed some weirdness about the person's eyes. You may see this in one or more ways, such as: Intense eye contact In my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud one of the 10 warning signs is intense eye contact. To gather information for the book, I conducted the Lovefraud Romantic Partners Survey. Of the 1,352 survey respondents, 59% of them …

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How to Overcome Negative Messages and Improve YourSelf Worth

May 31, 2021 // by Liberty Forrest// Leave a Comment

Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains how to overcome negative messages from the past, even from your parents, and improve yourSelf worth. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Most of us have stories about the rotten things people have told us about ourselves. Or rather, what they believe to be the truth about us. And this is no more true than if you've been dealing with sociopaths. It's one of their tactics; they find any little chink in the armor, any small weakness or insecurity, and they pick away at it with demeaning, diminishing comments that you believe because you love them and trust their …

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My story of psychological abuse and coercive control

May 30, 2021 // by Lovefraud Reader// Leave a Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about psychological abuse and coercive control from a reader whom we'll call Abigal21. Names and locations are changed. So, it was 2013, I met up with my friend for her birthday, she had invited her ‘friend’ a guy she sort of used to see. She said, can you hang out with David because he doesn’t know anyone here and it’s awkward because I am with my boyfriend … I said okay I guess …… I wasn’t in the best state of mind as I had recently broken up with a guy who was becoming abusive (I had a habit of attracting these guys … I now realize.). So David and I end up talking, exchange numbers and start dating. According to him he is single, …

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Small Joys Help You Heal from the Sociopath

May 24, 2021 // by Liberty Forrest// 2 Comments

Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, encourages you to find small joys in your life that will help you heal from the sociopath. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Life after the devastation caused by a sociopath can leave you feeling like you don't have the time or energy for anything that feels good. Joy? Happiness? A little treat now and then? Forget it. Even worse, you might be feeling like you don't deserve any of that. Ouch. You could even feel guilty for any bits of happiness that show up. Extra big ouch. You're not alone. All of that is completely normal after a sociopath has torn through …

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recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”