UPDATED FOR 2021. Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call Alfred. The subject line of his email was, "A moral obligation?" I'm two years removed from the brutal break-up with my ex-spath and all in all, can say I'm doing quite well and have recovered nicely! It was a LONG journey to get to the place I'm at and it's a relief to be there after two years of continual obsessing and ruminating - I've finally reached the point where I just don't care anymore. The shock of what I had in my life for 14 years has finally dissipated - the last emotion to go. That being said, I know I still have some work to do on myself as evidenced by my need to periodically check-up …
Breaking Toxic Relationship Patterns
Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, offers suggestions on breaking toxic relationship patterns by looking closely at your beliefs — especially those that do not support you. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Have you found yourself getting into relationships with sociopaths or others who are toxic or unhealthy in some way? If so, you are so not alone. It's human nature to repeat patterns of behaviour, especially when it involves an unresolved emotional issue that's lying there for us to trip over again and again. It's not even a conscious choice. It's like we're on auto-pilot with old tapes p …
Why relationships with sociopaths are so addictive
UPDATED FOR 2021. Time and time again, when I do personal consultations, people tell me how they struggle to break away from a relationship with a sociopath. It is not your imagination. It's hard to get away. Let me help you understand why relationships with sociopaths are so addictive. You know the involvement is bad for you. But even when you're not forced to interact with the sociopath — you're not married, don't have kids with the person and don't work together — you can't cut the cord. There are psychological and biological reasons for this, which I'll explain. Psychological bond Any time two human beings enter into a relationship, a psychological love bond forms. This bond b …
In Recovery: Why It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better
Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains why it gets worse before it gets better when you start your recovery from the sociopath. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest You know how it is when you look around your house and realise it needs a good cleaning? And then you realise it needs a good clearing out, too? You start thinking of everything that's stashed away in drawers and cupboards, the basement, the attic, shelves and closets, you just know there's a ton of "stuff" that could stand a good going through. And you think, "Oh, man, what a lot of work," and it's not fun, but it really ought to be …
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Yes, sociopaths can create a totally fake persona
Editor’s note: Last year, Lovefraud published a letter from “Natalia20” entitled “The sociopathic singer and his many women.” She was with a guy for five years, and he was cheating with multiple women the entire time. Natalia20 has written to Lovefraud again with a question about her ex's fake persona. Although it has been more than a year since my break-up with my sociopathic bf of many years, I still have more and more thoughts coming. Highly spiritual man The latest one is this: I met a highly spiritual man who would start his day by Tarot card reading, always reading self-help or spiritual books, his flat full of crystals for protection/energies, burning incense, making rituals, anal …
Who Is Most the Important Person in Your Life?
Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, asks you to think carefully about who is really the most important person in your life. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Who is the most important person in your life? Your husband? Your girlfriend? Your best friend? Your mom or dad? Your child? A sports or celebrity hero? If you're like many people, there is probably an extensive list of possibilities and you'll have to think about the question very carefully, trying to weigh up which one comes out on top. And if you're like many people, you won't even have the correct answer on the list. That answer, my …
Why did I want to hug the sociopath, even though I know he is bad?
UPDATED FOR 2021: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as "amhealing2012." She ran across her disordered ex, and suddenly wanted to hug the sociopath. Why? Miss Donna, I spoke by email to you about 2 years ago about a guy I had been dating. You confirmed he was indeed a sociopath. I have had no contact at all for over a year and a half. Strangely he has been on my mind a lot the last few weeks, thinking I saw him and thinking about him. Today while coming out of the mall with my older daughter I heard his voice say, "I hope you found what you were looking for." I turned and there he was with that cute grin on his face. IF not for my daughter being by me …
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After the Sociopath, Honour, Respect and Love Yourself
Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, advises that it's always important to honour, respect and love yourself, despite what you've endured from the sociopath. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest My last article, After the Sociopath, Honor Your Perfect Spirit, was about the ways in which you might be hurting yourself and neglecting your Spirit. Although it isn't essential, you might want to have a peek at that post before reading this one, as they fit together rather well. I ended it with these words: "Please. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Honour, respect and love yourself. It is what …
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Why I wrote, ‘Bow Down B**ch!’
Editor's note: Lovefraud offers authors who write about their experience with sociopaths an opportunity to tell the Lovefraud community about their books. Aleena Grace Barteau wrote, "Bow Down B**ch! — Being a Fool, Loving a Liar; under the controlling power of an abusive man," which is available on Amazon. By Aleena Grace Barteau My abuser is a sociopath. I had never heard the term before until one day when I met with my counselor in a desperate attempt to “fix” the relationship—because I loved my abuser so much. My therapist, who had a Ph.D. in psychology, had been working with the two of us. After spending much time with us both, running some psychological tests on my partner, and o …
After the Sociopath, Honor Your Perfect Spirit
Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, reminds you that even if you feel crushed by a deceptive sociopath, you should still honor your perfect spirit. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Following on from last week's article, Who Do You See in the Mirror? I'm going to ask you another question. And again, please take a moment or two to consider your answer before continuing to read. Ready? Okay. When's the last time you hurt yourself? Please think about that for a moment... I'm really curious about what your answer was. It will depend, of course, on what the question meant to you. Chances are …