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BOOK REVIEW: Hi Gorgeous! The first words of sociopathic seduction

Melissa K. Dean was a new lawyer in a new job. All she needed was a new romantic interest. So she posted her profile in Match.com, and received more than 30 responses in the first two days. One of the men started began his message boldly, writing, “Hi Gorgeous!”

For a woman who had long doubted her feminine appeal, the words were irresistible. More words followed—words that seemed to indicate mutual interests and goals, words that appealed to the woman’s sympathies.

Melissa K. Dean tells the story of being seduced by, married to, and then abused by, Jack Cass, a man who claimed to be a former Navy SEAL. It’s a classic story of sociopathic victimization.

Exotic dancer

Dean tells her story in a new book available in the Lovefraud Store, Hi Gorgeous! Starry Eyes and Toxic Lies.

They communicated online and by phone for a short time. Then they met for lunch, which Dean describes early in the book:

Conversation superseded our interest in our salads as we prattled on about various topics, including the characteristics we valued and disliked in potential mates. He spurned spoiled princesses and victim-oriented women, a group that included his mom—a counselor “ahead of her time,” yet victimized by by his Baptist father’s verbal abuse and infidelity with Jack’s piano teacher. He hated civilians, abhorred dishonesty and disloyalty—especially infidelity.

My bleeding heart was moved by his tale of woe, which he fully anticipated. Here was a man who’d been wounded on the battlefields of war and romance. “I let women walk all over me,” he proclaimed. The three purple hearts to which he laid claim paled in comparison to the heart he said was repeatedly broken by women who’d either cheated or bilked him out of money. “Learning to trust is a difficult task for me,” he said.

Can anyone say manipulation?

At one point before meeting Cass, Dean worked as an exotic dancer—that’s how she earned the money to take a prep course for her bar exam. Cass was fascinated by her former stint as a stripper, and after he manipulated Dean into marriage, saw his future in marketing his wife as a sexy model and dancer at biker clubs.

He, of course, had financial problems, child support payments and no steady income. But he had big ideas, which he convinced his wife to participate in. Gradually, he became more and more impatient with Dean’s contributions, and displayed his displeasure through emotional, psychological and sexual abuse.

Message of hope

In their letters to Lovefraud, many people have said their experiences with a sociopath were so outrageous that they should write a book about what happened to them. Melissa Dean has done it.

Many of you, who thought you were the only person on the planet experiencing the abuse and crazy-making of a sociopath, will take comfort in her story. You are not alone. In fact, many of you will recognize yourself, and the person who victimized you, in the tale.

Dean’s book has a happy ending—she escapes and begins to rebuild her life, her way. Her story is proof that you can recover from the abuse. It’s the message of hope and healing we all need.


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334 Comments on "BOOK REVIEW: Hi Gorgeous! The first words of sociopathic seduction"

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Most all men start out with compliments. I can’t think of a one that hasn’t with me. It’s always something like, “your eyes, they are so beautiful. You are so intelligent, surprising in a woman so attractive.”

They are all the same. I have learned to not even pay any attention to these things. Sure, we all like to hear that we are attractive but putting too much attention on it, can get ya in trouble.

And when a woman is feeling less than or unattractive, it leaves her open to be taken advantage of and men know this like the back of their hand.. Just like they know the magic of the words “I love you.” can have on a woman.

Many times after extreme compliments.. I come back with “Yes, I hear this all the time.”

And laugh inside as I view their face.

Another thing they say is.. “I want a woman that looks good on my arm.”
LOL! how obvious is that… many who say this are the ones with the big old bellies…

Dear Tink,

Welcome to love fraud. Sorry you had a problem with a psychopath but this is a great place to learn about them! Learn how to heal and over come, and to spot the red flags so you can recognize them in the future. Welcome. Glad you are here. God bless.

Dear OxDrover,

thank you for the welcome and kind words. The more red flags and the more knew to run I ran in wrong direction straight to him and began to revolt myself for being weak and never understood my actions. Would be so happy when we split but after about a fortnight of firm intentions would pine for him and long for contact. . i really want to do this no contact thing so will put out to universe to guide me in strength and determination.

style that is such a great thing to reply, will def use that one.

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