Lovefraud first heard from Liz Cole, author of Perfect Prey—Surviving a Cyber Shark’s Romantic Fraud, back in 2007, shortly after she realized that the guy she met on the Internet was a sociopath.
The guy called himself John Hill, although that wasn’t his real name. Liz wrote:
In my case, John presented himself as:
an Irish born gentleman,
well groomed,
graduate degreed,
retired from the Royal Marines where he performed his tour of duty in the Falkland Islands,
a dutiful and tireless single parent to one daughter, aged 25 completing Medical School in Dublin,
an accomplished chef and restaurateur,
an accomplished sailor,
multi-lingual,
affectionate,
old-school about etiquette,
strong work ethic and,
a family background rich in details complete with family tartan (Montgomery Clan), brogues, Prince Albert jacket etc.
Hill’s presentation, Liz learned, was highly exaggerated. In fact, as often happens with sociopaths, it was a mountain of lies.
Liz, however, was vulnerable. Her husband had recently decided that he wanted a new life, abandoning her and their two daughters. So when Hill rolled into her life, promising love and riches, well, Liz listened.
It was a typical sociopathic whirlwind romance. But things never quite added up, and Hill never quite came through with his promises. Then, while Liz and her whole family waited for him to show up for Easter dinner, he disappeared.
Liz went on the warpath to find out who he really was and what he was doing. It turned out that John Hill had a long history of fraud. Liz got the police to go after him. Better yet, she busted him with a sting on Canadian television.
In Perfect Prey, Liz tells her story. Much of the book is written as a real time journal as the events unfolded, complete with sassy commentary. The book offers a good look at how one of life’s blows can make us susceptible to another, how sociopaths pull off the larger-than-life act, and how it is sometimes possible for victims to turn the tables.
Perfect Prey—Surviving a Cyber Shark’s Romantic Fraud, is available from the Chapters, Canada’s online bookstore.
Dear Too innocent,
It is “ULTIMATE black mail”—do what I want you to or I will kill myself and then you will feel bad. DUH!
How stupid is that!
Well, she got herself another “winner”—and that happens sometimes with people who don’t learn from an encounter with a psychopath, we get to REPEAT the lesson, over and over until we DO get it.
I got to “go” to “remedial classes” in dealing with psychopaths until I finally got it and said NO MORE!
I agree with you about dating sites being fishing holes for psycholpaths to catch vulnerable people—both male and female Ps are there enmasse I think. I’m NOT fishing in that pool!
Oxy,
I too am Scot-Irish!!!!! We love deeply, give strongly, have heart, keep strong and are loyal to the end!!!
Oxy,
me either, had enough of the lies to last a lifetime. I agree, she has no idea of what she’s in for. I’ve had the preview and no thank you, do not want to watch the show again!
Dear Too innocent,
When a Scots-Irish person is good they are like the Little girl with the curl, theya re “very very good, but when they are bad they are HORID.”
There seems to be a high rate of alcoholism in the group, with many heavy drinkers, and a history of violence in the various groups. Also a history of sacrifice, hard work, and loyalty to God, family and what they thought was right!
Unfortunately, my ancestors for the most part on that side of my family tree were some pretty bad guys! All the way back to the late 1790s and early 1800s, wife beating hard drinking but “successful” men.
If you’re intersted in history of the Scots Irish and others, you might read “Albion’s Seed” it’s a great social history of the customs and the people.
I’m just glad that the violence and the mayhem stops here, now. I’m tired of the “old family traditions.”
I know what your talking about. My grandfather was a major alcohol and did all kinds of unspeakable things to hi kids. My uncle left the family and my dad joined the army to get away from him. My dad lied about his age to do that.
gotta stop typing in the dark, lol
I looked up to my dad, he was a very good man, but I don’t know if what I thought or what was is the real thing. I was sexually abused by one of my step fathers at the age of 10. I would not say anything because I was afraid my dad would kill him.
My dad was the most loving and caring man, he would give you the shirt off his back. But he also was a boxer in the war, and they made him quit because he became “steely eyed”. He tried to raise me with good values, and I think he did that. My mom would go from man to man, to survive. Maybe that is why I always seemed to choose the wrong gut, granted only 2 in my whole life, but how many do you need. I am always a very giving loving person, they saw me coming.
I know whoever my ex BF moves on to, is a good person, or he wouldn’t be interested. He targets them, I’m sure. I’m just glad I found this site, it has helped me so much!
I’ll look up the book