Two young girls adopted by a loving British couple took after their criminal biological mother. For the adoptive parents, it was a disaster.
Read When Cherry adopted these ‘angelic’ sisters she thought a loving home would heal the wounds of their troubled past. how terrifyingly wrong she was, on DailyMail.co.uk.
Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
If psychologists believed personality disorders were INHERITED and “etched in stone” . . . they would be out of a job. So selfishly . . . “they can’t handle the truth!”. Therefore WE (those who know better or are not in on the take), must do it for them.
and further . . . those that go to psychologists (the victims of personality disordered people) . . are in and of
themselves a substantial annuity for the psychologists.
But if they tell the victims . . the truth . . that they have a healthy reaction to psychopathic/narcissistic individuals . . . they might lose them as patients. Better to keep them in the dark.
or the psychologists make them think . . “it takes two” and the victim had a part in creating (or not properly handling) the personality disordered individual or the insanity. All to often, the victims only part, is the fact that they WERE THERE (i.e, targeted). You can’t CHANGE an insane relationship. You can get only get out (if possible).
Sarah000,
I agree that there are those professionals who make a living by ‘believing” that every mental problem can be “cured” or “treated successfully” and that is unfortunate.
Medicine changes SLOWLY. Physical medicine as well as mental medical practice. Freud has been proven pretty well wrong on much of what he thought…there was a lot of the brain and the mental wiring of it that was not known at the time that Freud started his theories…he could not have known that much of what he thought was correct was not. But yet, there are still people who practice “therapy’ based on Freud’s philosophies. Ditto Jung.
Back when the mainstream medical establishment thought that stomach ulcers were caused by “stress” a physician found that BACTERIA caused ulcers and that treating stomach ulcers with antibiotics would CURE them it took 12 years before mainstream medical science started to treat ulcers with antibiotics.
There was a great period of time when the baby was viewed by mainstream medical people as a “blank slate” and that environment was what made a person what they ultimately became. Of course we know now that is not true, that there are genetic things that are in play as well as environment in the development of personality. However, it will take decades before the old “blank slate” ideas are done away with in practice.
Look at how long it has taken for psychologists to come to an agreement with how psychopathy should be viewed, and even named. Psychology professionals seem to be even more loath to accept change than physical medicine.
A young doctor told me once that medical education is like trying to get a drink of water from a fire hose, no matter how thirsty you are or how fast you drink, most of it gets by you. I agree with him.
I do think though that we, as EXPERIENCED people from our encounters with the psychopaths do have a great deal to add to the knowledge base about psychopaths. I hope that more professionals will listen.
People are always quick to say . . it’s a combination of Nature (genes) and nurture (environment). The facts are however, that it’s nature (genes) period. The studies done on “identical twins raised apart”, show that they are MORE similar than “non-identical twins or siblings raised together”.
Implying genes have MORE of an effect than environment.
and some people maintain (Judith Harris- The Nurture Assumption) that the effect of family of origin is negligable. –
Sarah999:
It’s interesting you bring this up about therapy because I decided today I am not going back to my therapist.
He just is not helping me and I have gone six times now and spent $110 each time so after $660 I feel the same. I talked to him for an hour today and I could have talked about the same things to my best friend for free. And then I handed him $110 in cash. GRRRR. It’s just not worth it to me. If he was helping me, I wouldn’t hesitate to pay the money, but I am feeling angry again tonight. I feel like I am spending MY money because of a spath and at this point, I just don’t feel I am fixable. I’ve been through too much and now after spath, I feel like I am beyond repair. And I don’t say that in an angry or spiteful way…I truly believe it and I think the sooner I accept that I am the way I am, the sooner I may heal and get on with my life.
Louise,
Many of us have been targeted and abused by P/S/N/A.
We did nothing wrong. It is not our fault. If anything, we were too good, to trusting, to loving. None of that is wrong. We were duped by experts (i.e., P/S/N/A). The thing you can do now, is understand that “it was your good qualities he targeted”. We have to learn there are evil people (lots of them), and how to recognize and protect ourselves from them . . . These posts and the many books suggested here are monumentally helpful.
You will be stronger for it.
Sarah999:
I know I didn’t do anything wrong and that thought does comfort me. Yeah, I was too much of all those things. But that makes me the person I am. I won’t let it happen again, that is for sure.
Thanks for your reply to me.
Also Louise . . . be grateful for the good person you are.
Actually . . WE are the winners! We have a conscience. We have the ability to love. They are nothing but empty shells, manipulative automatons, (and often also sadistic and abusive ). THEY are losers . .big time! WE are the lucky ones, and now we have further learned just how lucky we truly are.