Two young girls adopted by a loving British couple took after their criminal biological mother. For the adoptive parents, it was a disaster.
Read When Cherry adopted these ‘angelic’ sisters she thought a loving home would heal the wounds of their troubled past. how terrifyingly wrong she was, on DailyMail.co.uk.
Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
Louise
Truthspeak:
Thanks, we will see. I guess I just don’t see what they can really say or do to help me. After all, I have talked about everything until I’m blue in the face with really no resolutions. It’s OK though, it really is.
That is really cruel what that therapist did to you to just throw you out after so many sessions. Stupid!!!
skylar
Hi Milo,
I posted a link on a different disorder Reaction Formation because there is a paragraph at the end which says:
When I left my spath, I reminded him that he said he never wanted to grow up. His response was, “I never wanted to grow up because when you grow up, you get a wife and she leaves you.” Of course he left out the part about trying to kill your wife, but then Dahmer also ate his victims so they wouldn’t leave him.
For what it’s worth, since he’s a liar, it must be taken with a grain of salt, but I think there was always the knowledge and expectation of being abandoned eventually. Which added to his hatred and his need to abuse. I think that affection is met with hate because they don’t want to admit the potential for feeling loss.
MiLo
Sky ~ I guess I should have read the link BEFORE I commented. lol
Oh Sky – Daughter has been MIA for a month. Just got a call – she is in drug rehab in the most depressed area and hospital in the city. HARD CORE patients.
Her counselor had to be present during her phone call. Then the counselor asked to talk to ME. Imagine, someone actually cared what I had to say. Long story short – I think this woman GETS IT. She asked me how I interacted with my daughter – I told her gray rock, then explained. She said great term, and she was going to recommend I do exactly that – remove yourself from the drama etc.
I feel like I FINALLY got heard. I went down Hare’s checklist and gave examples of each behavior – relating to daughter. She said, I UNDERSTAND – I work with this everyday and I am sorry.
Oh my.
skylar
Milo,
I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that.
What did your daughter say was the purpose in calling you? Or did the counselor say?
You did predict that things would get bad at this time of the year and you were right. Do you suppose that her rehab is part of the sentence for her last arrest?
I honestly believe that the self-sabotage is a way to get drama going. She needs to be the star of a show. She needs the attention.
I feel sorry for the counselor having to deal with these types all day. It’s gotta take it’s toll on any normal human being.
G1S
MiLo – That’s fabulous news!!! I am so happy for you.
It must feel wonderful to finally feel that somebody hears you and understands.
So how did the counselor leave it? What’s going to happen from here?
Any mention of Grand or plans for him? Will the counselor help to keep your daughter out of your lives?
Am thrilled for you!! You must be in a state of shock right now. Big hugs, lady, you’ve come a long, long way. {{{{{MiLo}}}}}}}}}
Did you tell the counselor about this website? Is she going to check it out?
darwinsmom
Milo,
A gift in the shit – a therapist who can see through your daughter’s mask and support you!
MiLo
Sky ~ I’m thinking there was another incident, after her last arrest. I see nothing in the court records indicating rehab. I’m thinking it was an overdose or suicide attempt (fake – gone too far) That would get her sent to this hospital and be “locked in” from what I gathered.
The counselor said she has been there since 4/20. Can you imagine dealing with this stuff all day, wow
She called to set up a time when she could talk to Grand when the counselor could monitor the call. She said I haven’t talked to him in two weeks. I said no, a month, but who’s counting. She said, I won’t be able to come to his band concert (he had a solo) next week. I said, it was two weeks ago, but who’s counting.
I feel I gave this woman enough background, and thanks to LF and all you guys I sounded intelligent and calm, that daughter is going to have a harder time BSing them.
MiLo
Posted over new posts again.
Darwinsmom ~ sad isn’t it, what we all are left with, a shit covered gift is a gift just the same. lol – thanks
G1S – It was indeed a remarkable feeling. I’m not saying my daughter is going to benefit from any of this, because I don’t think she can be “fixed”, I gave up on that one a long time ago. Just to be heard, after all we have gone through with courts, judges, lawyers, GAL’s JUST TO BE HEARD and not looked at as if you had 2 heads.
She gave me her phone number and said I could call anytime with questions or comments. It was funny, she said to make sure Grand knew he did not HAVE to talk to his mother, she felt it was important that he felt in control. OMG – we fought and fought – at the tune of thousands of dollars to have that put in the visitation order and NO ONE wanted to listen. Now, here this woman just comes up with it out of the blue.
I didn’t mention this web site, I did tell her I spent hours studying anti-social personality disorders to try to better understand my daughter. Maybe if there is further communication between her and I, I will mention it.
Thanks for the support everyone.
darwinsmom
Milo,
I know what a remarkable feeling it is when a professional absolutely gets it. You don’t even need to go in details or explain. They just fully know how they work and what kind of damage they do to us. And it’s so wonderful to have a professional verify and support what is the best way to deal with it: no contact, grey rock… cause any contact is dangerous to our emotional and mental wellbeing. I’m very happy for you that you finally met such a professional.
G1S
MiLo,
I guess I am feeling so happy because it sounds as you can finally feel safe on a lot of levels –
1. somebody has heard you
2. somebody gets it (and that will go into your daughter’s evalutions,) and
3. somebody is thinking of Grand’s well-being and is empowering him.
I wouldn’t think that your daughter is going to be helped in any significant way. I assumed you gave up on that a long, long time ago.
But she’s in a facility and with any luck, they’ll take measures that will significantly go to keeping her away from you and Grand.
In other words, you can sleep deeply tonight knowing for the first time that the other shoe isn’t going to drop on you anytime soon.