Recently Lovefraud heard from a woman whom we’ll call Trina. Trina was involved with a sociopath for five years, who abandoned her eight months ago, after wrecking her financially and emotionally. Still, she continued to be in shock, denial and disbelief—until the guy sent her the following poem:
Catch and Release
Before I pull your hair and leave you for dead
I will ravish you
not physically, but with words sensuous and firm
with sibilance rolling off my chameleon tongue
and metaphors byzantine and allusive pitched
to that intimate space between your ears.
I will watch you wriggle with denial,
claw with anger, bargain for release,
splash like a drowning animal in hopelessness.
And when I observe the contour of your acceptance,
the precise moment your will bends pliantly to mine
I will release you.
Game over.
Trina was horrified, and when she communicated this to the guy, he denied that the poem was at all autobiographical. He said she needed to “lighten up;” she was too “up tight;” he’d just taken a line from a TV show and embellished it. Here’s how he explained it to Trina:
“I thought that was a great opening line and I twisted it a bit, threw in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief as I played on the word ‘dead’ and created a poem, role playing the braggart and using a line that fishermen do when they fish for fun and not food.”
“This man knows he drove me to the point of near suicide,” Trina says, “and rather than feeling badly for it, he actually taunts me, to this day.”
When there is no reason
Many sociopaths are parasites, manipulating people into giving them money, food, sex, a place to live—whatever. But some sociopaths, who may actually hold down a job and have their own resources, manipulate people, even torment them, just for the fun of it.
There are sociopaths who break women’s hearts just to watch them fall apart. There are sociopaths who commit crimes just to prove they can get away with it. There are sociopaths who disrupt workplaces for their own amusement. These people simply want to be puppet masters, pulling strings and watching everyone else jump.
This is probably the most difficult type of sociopathic behavior to comprehend. Many of us have spent hours, days, weeks, even years trying to figure out why a sociopath acted the way he or she did. Sometimes there is no reason other than the sociopath found the situation he or she created to be entertaining.
So how do we come to grips with this? How do normal people, who try to be considerate and cooperative, understand this behavior?
We can’t. These sociopaths are totally twisted. It’s just the way they are.
ErinBrock
Newlily:
I too am sorry for your loss. Do not feel guilt for your NC, there was a reason for this. Do not second guess yourself, you are a good woman and made decisions based on what yu had to do at the time……
It’s unfortunate that we don’t always get to have closure, the way we would have wished it.
Rest assured, you did what your heart told you, and in April on her Birthday.
I believe everything happens for a reason….it’s up to us to see the reason.
Your in my thoughts. Stay strong and remember good times.
XXOO
Tilly
ErinB:
Thankyou so much.
I know what you said is so true and I have come a long way ErinB and there is still a lot further to go. I am like Oxy, if the psychopath gets me when I am not prepared, when i am “off guard”, then I stagger and fall and it takes me a while to get back up on the right track again.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you said. I am not sure how to do it, but its not because I havn’t tried EVERYTHING (even the lovely rituals like our geminigirl gave lily), thankyou again. I am getting back up off the ground ErinB.
Tilly
ANLily:
Now is the perfect time to talk to her! Now at last she is all ears and she will hear you ANewLily.
When the time is right tell her everything you ever wanted to.
Gods timing is perfect. That is all you need to know.
We are grateful you are with us and can share your pain with us and allow us to try to reach out to you.
Take care Lily, you are a beautiful little soul.
xo
ANewLily
Dear Geminigirl, Thank you sincerely for your angelic ritual about which you took your time to post to me. I have no money to make the purchases you mentioned but I can do the steps in my mind, just not yet. Isaiah 61 is helping currently.
Dear Tilly, I have been “talking” to her last night and today. The day before when I didn’t yet know she had passed, I truly felt our mother “talking” to me. It was all good.
blueskies
Hi everyone:)xx Just catching up after being off-line for a few (in more ways than one:() Although I think I needed a complete shut down, some ‘quiet time’, I have missed chatting here and the support everyone gives to each other sooo much xxx. I see some have been going through some really undeserved tough times:( Lots and lots of love to you all, you wonderful lot xxx
Tilly
Hey Blueskies!
Great that you are back!
“Nothing but blueskies from now on”….xo
geminigirl
Dearest NewLily, Im glad you found my ideas helpful. Does Donna allow us to give out our own email addresses? I f so, I have a suggestion. I can give you my email, then you can let me have your postal address, and it will give me great pleasure in buying and sending thesethings to you.I can afford it right now, and id love to do this for you.Can you please ask Donna if were allowed to give private email addresses? let me do this for you. I send you love and peace!{{{Hugs}}} geminigirlXXX
ANewLily
God is blessing me more than I deserve!
What a generous and loving gesture to send these things to me! I don’t know how to contact Donna, except to “report abusive somments” That won’t do. LOL
I wonder if I give her my permission to send my email address to you here, can you contact her (if you know how) and send her to this post for verification?
Another blessing “out of the blue” was my loan officer who is coming to my house tomorrow has offered to take me to and from the local airport if I can figure out a way to get there.
One of my nephews has offered to pay my air fare — but there is another complication. I can’t find direct flights to the city where the memorial service will be held on Aug 20, the city where I’ve visited since I was in junior high! I’d be able to stay at her house there (because the house hasn’t been sold yet) so I wouldn’t need to pay for a motel. But, how do I get from one city (where the flights do land?) to the next?
It’ll all work out if it is meant to be. I am confident of that. And I’ll have an extra week for the iron supplement to add to my energy level. I already warned my sister’s kyds that I walk like a penquin. They’ll be surprised, for sure.
(((Hugs))) back to you!!!!
Tilly
ANewLIly:
YOU SOOOOOO DESERVE IT! I LOVE WHAT YOU AND OUR GEM ARE DOING> ITS BEAUTIFUL! xoxxox
geminigirl
Dearest newLily, You certainly deserve all that God and the angels and us at Lovefraud have in store for you! Happier times are coming! When Donna contacts me, hopefully she will let me have your home email, so I can get your postal address from you. It was extraordinary, I was lying down thinking of you, and all of these suggestions just “came to me”, Im sure from an angel!{Probably your guardian angel, we all have one}.Dont beat yourself up any more,{we all do this!} you are a beautiful and courageous soul! Thank you so much, tilly, for calling me “our Gem”! I love it! You people are so much better than my own horrible disfunctional family!{My husband and new Iranian “kids” excepted!} Im hoping Im able to give you, tilly, my email address too. Love,peace, and hugs to you all!!geminigirl.XXX