How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Men should be concerned about violence against women

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Jackson Katz is author of The Macho Paradox—why some men hurt women and how all men can help. Last year he spoke at a TED conference. His basic message is that violence against women is not just a women's issue—it is a men's issue. After all, men are committing most of the violence. I am glad to see a man speaking out on this issue towards men. Most of his presentation was terrific. However, about three-quarters of the way through, Katz makes the statement, "The typical perpetrator is not sick and twisted, he's a normal guy in every other way." Is this true? Abraham Maslow once said, "If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." So I wonder if, to paraphrase Mas …

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Critiquing expert views, part 3: Psychology Today blogger on understanding the sociopath

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Editor's note: This is the third in a series of articles critiquing what mental health bloggers are saying about sociopaths/psychopaths. Prior articles are: “CNN blogger on Ariel Castro," and "Psychology Today blogger on psychopaths who care." Seth Meyers, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist with the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, wrote in a recent Psychology Today blog that he's been commenting on TV about the Jodi Arias case. Apparently Meyers is on TV quite a bit— his credits include Good Morning America, Fox News, Jane Velez-Mitchell, The Early Show, Good Day L.A., 20/20, and more. The Jodi Arias case inspired him to discuss sociopaths in his post. Here's the art …

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Critiquing expert views, part 2: Psychology Today blogger on psychopaths who care

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Editor's note: This is the second in a series of articles critiquing what mental health bloggers are saying about sociopaths/psychopaths. Here is the first article: "CNN blogger on Ariel Castro." The headline in a recent blog article on the Psychology Today website stopped me in my tracks: Despite popular opinion, psychopaths can show they care This article was written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., who is a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Here is the first paragraph, with my comments in parentheses: The quintessential psychopath shows callous disregard for others, a complete lack of empathy (although they are great at pretending to show empathy when …

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Psychopaths everywhere?

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I have heard it suggested that there may be those who "attract" psychopaths.  It does not matter what the relationship.  Some feel that there are people who are simply prone to involvement with individuals with psychopathic features.  Is this true?  Maybe.  Maybe not. Why do they feel this way? Talk to victims.  There are many who have been involved with psychopaths who feel that they are "everywhere."  The same story keeps happening over and over.  It's like Ground Hog Day or Fifty First Dates.  Perhaps these victims have had several romantic experiences with psychopaths.  Perhaps they feel many of their family members are psychopaths.  Others report experiencing a variety of different encou …

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Critiquing expert views on sociopaths, part 1: CNN blogger on Ariel Castro

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People who have committed horrific acts have been in the news a lot recently. Prime examples are Ariel Castro, accused of holding three women captive for 10 years in Cleveland, Ohio, and Jodi Arias, convicted of viciously murdering her ex-boyfriend in Mesa, Arizona. Who is so heartless and cruel that they can engage in these terrible behaviors? The answer is probably that the perpetrators are personality disordered. So various mental health experts have been writing blog articles on the cases and personality disorders, which Lovefraud readers have been forwarding to me. Some of the statements made in the articles I agree with, and some I don't. So I'm going to write a series of critiques of …

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Sociopaths, crying, sex and cooking

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Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Judith." She asked questions that many readers may wonder about, so I'll answer them in this post. Sociopaths do not feel emotions, empathy or cry - Yes, he did play the 'cry game' when I would tell him the relationship was 'over' (which I did a few times) or want to walk out of his door. Q1. He used to cry incessantly for his parents/grandparents who love him a lot, and feeling homesick (staying alone). Or cry that I was not with him in the same place and how much he misses me (online chat). He would mostly be drinking when he cries like a river. He longed for having a wife in his life?? He proposed to almost …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Signs of poor character

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Editor's note: The following letter was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Gwendolyn." I was married to a sociopath and addict for four years. He did the love bombing thing with me and pushed for moving in and marriage very early, within the first few months. I was afraid of the consequences of refusing him, so I foolishly went along and moved into his house then married him. I only lived with him for two and a half years. It was a twisted game of lies, addiction and emotional abuse. It was a long and damaging period of time. At first it was intoxicating. He said we were destined for each other, that I was "the one," and that he couldn't stand to be apart from me so I needed me …

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Confessions of a Sociopath – a book I don’t want to buy or read

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Today a new book went on sale called, Confessions of a Sociopath: A life spent hiding in plain sight. The author is a woman writing under the pseudonym of M.E. Thomas. Although she doesn't want people to know her real name gee, I wonder why? Thomas claims that she is a successful lawyer and a Mormon Sunday school teacher. Oh, and she enjoys ruining people's lives. Thomas runs a website written by sociopaths, for sociopaths. I don't want to mention the name of it, because I don't want to give it any publicity. (If you really want to know, send me an email.) On this website, people who say they are sociopaths swap stories about how they get over on the rest of us stupid sheep who are burdened …

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Military’s massive problem with sexual assault

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A new report released by the Pentagon estimates that as many as 26,000 military members may have been sexually assaulted last year. But only 3,374 assaults were reported in 2012, because the service members do not have confidence in military justice. Sex assaults growing epidemic in military, on SFChronicle.com. In the meantime, Lt. Col. Jeff Krusinski, 41, the Air Force official in charge of its sexual-assault prevention program, was arrested for groping. Air Force's sex-abuse prevention honcho charged with sexual battery, on NBCNews.com.   …

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