How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Ending My Relationship With a Sociopath: Separation and Manipulation

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By Quinn Pierce Shattering the Illusion Once I learned that my husband was a sociopath, it was a lot like looking at one of those Magic Eye puzzles that don't look like anything except random, tiny shapes and then, suddenly, a three dimensional image appears out of nowhere. Unfortunately, this lead to the realization that my entire marriage was an optical illusion covering up a very scary reality.  And once the illusion was shattered, I felt like I was living with a stranger who was capable of harming my children and me in ways I hadn't even realized. However, I also learned that separating from a sociopath and, subsequently, divorcing one is not any easier than living with one.  W …

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Minnesota Appellate Court overturns mom’s conviction for ‘deprivation of parental rights’

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Caroline Rice and Brent Rice, of Chanhassen, Minnesota, divorced in 2004, and have been involved in custody battles over their five children ever since. Full custody was awarded to Brent Rice, even though the children said he was abusive. In 2010 the youngest child, 13 at the time, ran away,  met up with her mother, and they fled to Canada. When Caroline Rice returned to the United States, she was charged with depriving parental rights. Last week, the Minnesota Court of Appeals overturned the conviction, saying that Judge Richard C. Perkins and prosecutors conspired to deprive Rice of her civil rights and access to due process. Update: Long custody battle produces guilty verdict, on …

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Married To A Sociopath: Effects of Abuse on Children

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When my husband and I separated after fifteen years of marriage, I felt as though all I did was answer question after question from everyone I encountered.  But, there was one question that stood out among all the others, and it continues to replay in my head, even today. “Did you know your son was being emotionally and verbally abused by his father?” A Mother Seeking Help This was asked by a health care professional in the psychology department of the children's emergency hospital.  My son had been in a severe depression for months, and I felt as though he was entering crisis mode.  So, at the suggestion of our pediatrician, I drove my son to the hospital.  I didn't tell anyone I was goin …

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How psychopathic parents affect children

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A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Mani" asked a question that I'm sure is of interest to many others, so I'll address it in a blog post. Mani writes: I was one of the children who lived with a psychopath for a long time. I fought all my life not to let him be a part of my personality. In comparison to what I was exposed to I think I have been successful. But is there anybody out there who can shed more light on the effects of a psychopath father on children, particularly boys? I know there is tendency to label these children as secondary psychopaths but I haven't seen anybody talking about the mechanics of it. And I am sure all these children don't become secondary psychopaths. This is a …

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Introducing a new Lovefraud author: Quinn Pierce

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Most of us are here at Lovefraud because we've had our lives ravaged by someone who we now realize is a sociopath. The experience of overwhelming deceit and intentional abuse is difficult to comprehend, much less describe. Trying to explain what happened, even to ourselves, leaves many of us at a loss for words. That's why it is so comforting to find the right words expressed by someone else. When another person precisely describes what we've lived through, it validates our own perceptions and lets us know that we aren't the only ones who have gone through such hell. Quinn Pierce, a writer and educator, has the gift of choosing the right words. That's why I am so pleased to announce that …

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Marrying a Sociopath: Where Were the Warning Signs?

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By Quinn Pierce Lately, when I look back over certain events in my life, it's a lot like watching the same scene from a movie play over and over. You know, the part where the unsuspecting soon-to-be-victim is about to go into the none-too-welcoming basement where the deranged ax-wielding maniac lies in wait. It's the scene we all watch wondering why she had to go down there in the first place, and why isn't she concerned by the sudden power outage and strange noises? Why wouldn't she go get the neighbor she just waved to seconds before, the one who was outside watering the flowers? We watch clue after clue slip past the victim's senses while the ominous music plays in the background. By …

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The sociopath, dogs and manipulation

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Editor's note: The following another essay by the Lovefraud reader Quinn Pierce, who writes under a pseudonym. By Quinn Pierce The first thing I did when my husband and I moved into our first home together was adopt a puppy. I had grown up with many pets, and I can't remember a time when I didn't have a dog. I always felt dogs made a home more complete. So, I was thrilled when Ellie, a Border Collie, Golden Retriever mix arrived at my door step, literally. At the time, I was working as a veterinary technician. I had graduated from college in May, gotten married the following fall, and decided to explore my childhood dream of becoming a veterinarian. One morning, when I arrived at the …

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Leaving the sociopath, applying for food stamps

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Editor's note: The following essay is by a Lovefraud reader who writes under a pseudonym. By Quinn Pierce This isn't exactly the interview I had prepared for. As a matter of fact, this wasn't an interview I even knew how to prepare for. All I knew was that somewhere along the way, my life had taken a detour without any warning. Looking back, it's almost embarrassing how many warning signs there actually were, but in context, they were seemingly harmless acts that built up over time to construct the house of cards my life had become. But I didn't want to think about that at the moment, all I wanted was to get this over with, and go home. The waiting room was the perfect compliment to …

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Report on domestic violence and family courts

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The Wellesley Centers for Women has just released a new report, Family Court Approaches to Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse: Stakeholder Perceptions and Implications for Systemic Change. Researchers have been gathering data about how family courts see domestic violence cases, how the courts handle the cases, how often children are involved, and whether biases exist. It is the first field study of family courts in which judges, probation officers and litigants were surveyed simultaneously. Improving the court approach to domestic violence cases in the Massachusetts family courts, on WCWOnline.org.   …

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The mind of a potential mass killer

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In the wake of the Sandy Hook school shooting in Connecticut, a young man who at one point harbored similar thoughts sent an essay to The Daily Beast. I just found it, and even though the three-part essay is six months old, I believe Lovefraud readers will find it interesting and relevant. This anonymous young man eloquently explains why, as a teenager, he was filled with rage, and how he was able to turn his life around. The key reason is that his mother did not give up. I was Adam Lanza, on TheDailyBeast.com.   …

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