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Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

You are here: Home / Archives for Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Reader needs advice to protect her kids

May 3, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  31 Comments

Editor's Note: The Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of “NomorePTSD” has a request. Can  any Lovefraud readers  offer her any advice or suggestions?  This is “NomorePTSD.” My blog post, LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Escaping my mother, the sociopath, appeared on Lovefraud in June of 2013. I talked about my healing from flashbacks that were a result of my childhood and beginning adulthood relationship with my mother, a sociopath who stalked me for 18 years, motivated largely by envy. We are doing total No Contact, and have essentially erased ourselves from the map of her world. Now I have a bit of a dilemma with privacy. My husband and I moved to a new place, bought our home in a LLC and our ca …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Sociopaths and family

LETTER TOLOVEFRAUD: I saw her true self when we were alone; she put on a show for others

April 5, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  22 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Pricer," about his wife. Donna, I would first like to thank you for your efforts in helping others like us cope with the aftermath of a relationship with a sociopath. I also express my condolences for you and everyone else who has suffered at the hands of such a person. I, like yourself, never knew what a sociopath even was until my divorce and I got online searching for answers. My search led me to your site and others and I want to let you know that what you are doing here is not only a good thing but the right thing as well. I am a member on your site and just like everyone else, my story is much too long f …

LETTER TOLOVEFRAUD: I saw her true self when we were alone; she put on a show for othersRead More

Category: Female sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: To she who has a child with the sociopath from the “other woman”

March 30, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  12 Comments

Editor's Note: The Lovefraud reader "bodicasway" recently sent in the following note. It's a message she wishes she could send to the former partner of the sociopath that she was involved with. I have been thinking lately about the woman who puts up with this spath because they have a child together, because she let him move back into property next door to her, because she sees what he's up to all the time ”¦ because I was involved with him as were countless other women. Right under her nose. Dear Friend, I know that you've seen countless women come and go right under your window, right outside the door of your own home. I can only imagine how that must feel for you, how that must rake yo …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

con man

Letters to Lovefraud: I could no longer share my life with someone who lacked a conscience and integrity

March 23, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  12 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader DonnaC. Other names in this letter have been changed. Below is a letter my former husband wrote shortly after I had told him that our marriage was over. He spent two weeks trying to convince me to give him time to ”˜once again' prove he could be the man he was meant to be. When we married 11 years earlier he was handsome, successful and fun. We met after my loveless first marriage. I was a happy outgoing person but he knew about my withdrawn ex husband and so it was easy to ”˜love bomb' me. I found his confidence, energy and zest for life intoxicating. There were the expected adjustments to our new married life, and …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Sociopaths and family

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Psychopathic professor abuses his position as mentor

March 7, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  10 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Rhona.” I've had no contact since April 21, 2013. My last direct contact was an email I sent him. In that letter, I stated what I knew to be true about our "relationship." I didn't send it to provoke future contact in fact I said at the end I would not read another email from him but instead sent it to acknowledge and assert my intelligence and my awareness that he had used my good nature against me, as well as to establish some agency of my own by openly regarding his constructed narrative about our experience as fictionalized and controlling. Since sending that letter and ending contact, I've exp …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He loves, he proposes, he gets money, he abandons

February 27, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  12 Comments

Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a reader from Italy whom we'll call "Alessia." It all started a year and a half ago when I went through a huge crisis with my life that led me to make a decision to simply leave everything and go out of my country (Italy) on a long luxury vacation of four months. Knowing my destination from a past visit, and based on past decision to make this destination my second home, part of my plan was to buy a house on the beach in this four-month period. Arriving to my destination I didn't waste a second. I made a contact to real estate agency and asked to view some houses. Searching for real estate They sent me a 70+ year old real estate …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He loves, he proposes, he gets money, he abandonsRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Media sociopaths, Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: What I learned after being targeted by a female psychopath

February 16, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  28 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was sent in by a reader whom we'll call Aaron. This is part personal narrative and part informed amateur psychology suggestion. I am writing this because of my own traumatic experience and the need I believe for men to know what they may be dealing with. As most discussion and research involves male psychopaths there has only been recent dialogue on the female version. The most well-known writings on psychopathy have involved male prison populations, most notably by leading expert Dr. Robert Hare, and the notoriety of serial killers (Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and others) and have not touched on those in the general population and specifically female …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: What I learned after being targeted by a female psychopathRead More

Category: Female sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Every day was an absolute psychological torture

February 6, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  9 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter was sent in by a European Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Lizbeth.” I had a relationship with a psychopath when I was young and naive. He completely wrecked my life. At that time I was a 20 year-old University student.  I was not stupid, but I still fell for his con. He was a few years older and already graduated from University. Every day was an absolute psychological torture. He completely humiliated me every day for utter nonsense. For instance, if I was ten minutes late, it would be a complete fall out. Or I would take a Spanish course, well that was the end of it, since I did not ask his permission to do so. Worst of all, nobody supported me. Mom fell f …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Woman behind mask

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: She played the hot and cold game

January 30, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  138 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter was sent in by Lovefraud reader "truelove." Wow where to start. I am in my 40s and started dating a girl in her late 20s back in April 2013. I had met her a couple years ago and thought she was a nice, caring person. We started dating and things got hot and heavy really fast. It was like a fun roller coaster ride, but little did I realize she had plans to purposely make it jump the tracks once I was most vulnerable and hooked. Taking control She played the hot and cold game with me from the beginning.  I was hurt by it but always went back to her when she wanted to see me. She was taking control of the relationship at this point through manipulating my …

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Category: Female sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How to discourage the psychopath in your life

January 26, 2014 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  64 Comments

Editor's note: The following was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "LouAnn." She had no choice but to deal with a psychopath. 1.    Psychopaths need stimulation. They like “fireworks.” Don't give it to them. Either do not respond to them at all, or give them very calm, professional responses. This is called “non-reward” and it will become much less fun to bully you. 2.    When you do respond, respond slowly. Psychopaths need instant gratification. Making them wait for your response is not fun or stimulating for them. 3.    Consider not telling them about the damage they have done. They may be secretly finding glee from hurting you if they are in revenge mode, or may find satisf …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How to discourage the psychopath in your lifeRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath

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  • recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
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  • sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
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