Recovery from a sociopath Archives | Page 37 of 92 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: She played the hot and cold game

January 30, 2014 // by Lovefraud Reader// 138 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter was sent in by Lovefraud reader "truelove." Wow where to start. I am in my 40s and started dating a girl in her late 20s back in April 2013. I had met her a couple years ago and thought she was a nice, caring person. We started dating and things got hot and heavy really fast. It was like a fun roller coaster ride, but little did I realize she had plans to purposely make it jump the tracks once I was most vulnerable and hooked. Taking control She played the hot and cold game with me from the beginning. I was hurt by it but always went back to her when she wanted to see me. She was taking control of the relationship at this point through manipulating my …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: She played the hot and cold gameRead More

BOOK REVIEW: Living and Loving After Betrayal

January 27, 2014 // by Donna Andersen// 25 Comments

I've been looking for a book to help you heal from the devastating betrayal of a sociopath. I finally found it. Living and Loving After Betrayal How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment, by Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is the best explanation I've ever read of how betrayal affects you emotionally and psychologically, and how to recover from it. In fact, I am so impressed with this book that we are now carrying it in the Lovefraud bookstore. Why it hurts Stosny starts the book by explaining why intimate betrayal hurts so much. Love bonds developed because they were crucial to the survival of the human race. Back in caveman days, we needed to look out for …

BOOK REVIEW: Living and Loving After BetrayalRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How to discourage the psychopath in your life

January 26, 2014 // by Lovefraud Reader// 64 Comments

Editor's note: The following was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "LouAnn." She had no choice but to deal with a psychopath. 1. Psychopaths need stimulation. They like “fireworks.” Don't give it to them. Either do not respond to them at all, or give them very calm, professional responses. This is called “non-reward” and it will become much less fun to bully you. 2. When you do respond, respond slowly. Psychopaths need instant gratification. Making them wait for your response is not fun or stimulating for them. 3. Consider not telling them about the damage they have done. They may be secretly finding glee from hurting you if they are in revenge mode, or may find satisf …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How to discourage the psychopath in your lifeRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I learned that I am strong and extremely capable

January 23, 2014 // by Lovefraud Reader// 3 Comments

Editor's Note: Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of "Dark Souls Healing and recovering from toxic relationships." By Sarah Strudwick It has been nearly four years since I sold my house as a result of what happened with the man I call “Oliver” in my book. Occasionally I still get the odd email from readers who tell me how much the book has helped them. At the time of selling our family home I wasn't sure whether it would be possible to have a stable financial future ever again. With a pile of debts looming and two properties that were literally falling apart I certainly didn't know what my future would hold. Like most people, I've fallen down before but it certainly wasn't at …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I learned that I am strong and extremely capableRead More

Divorcing A Sociopath: Getting Away, Staying Away

January 22, 2014 // by Quinn Pierce// 38 Comments

by Quinn Pierce At the heart of every sociopath is insecurity. These individuals crave adoration, praise, and power above all other emotional needs. Decisions are not based on weighing pros and cons, an internal moral compass, or even possible consequences. Instead, a sociopath will usually make decisions for one of three reasons: putting themselves in a favorable light to be admired by others, hurting someone who is no longer an ally, or personal gain. Of course, their most coveted decisions are those that result in a combination of two or more of these outcomes. Hiding the Truth During my marriage, I enabled this process by making excuses for my husband, or pretending he was a …

Divorcing A Sociopath: Getting Away, Staying AwayRead More

Recovery From a Sociopath: The fake victim and the real victim

January 15, 2014 // by Quinn Pierce// 107 Comments

by Quinn Pierce When I first met my ex-husband, I was moved by the amount of compassion and sympathy he showed for the traumatic experiences of my past. To me, it was an endearing quality for someone to be so caring and supportive. He kept telling me how honored he was that I trusted him enough to tell him things I hadn't talked to many people about before. Ulterior Motives I look back with cringe-inducing clarity, and I recognize several ulterior motives for his false compassion. For one, he was assessing me as a partner. He learned that, at the time, I was a very secretive person. I had a select few people I confided in, and I was not one to talk to others about my own painful exp …

Recovery From a Sociopath: The fake victim and the real victimRead More

Why is it so difficult to detach from a sociopath?

January 8, 2014 // by Quinn Pierce// 83 Comments

by Quinn Pierce The other day, in one of my counseling sessions, I was recounting a story about some family members who still interact with my ex-husband, despite my requests that they respect me enough to not have any contact with him. I was no longer angry or annoyed by their behavior, I had since realized it is much easier if I lower my expectations for some people in my life and distance myself from others. But, I was curious about their inability to stop contact with my ex-husband even after knowing everything he has done to my family. The Inexplicable Bond It led me to wonder: Why is it so difficult to detach from a sociopath? It seems as though it makes no difference if …

Why is it so difficult to detach from a sociopath?Read More

Recovery From A Sociopath: New Beginnings

January 1, 2014 // by Quinn Pierce// 23 Comments

by Quinn Pierce As with all new beginnings, the New Year always brings a sense of hope for a better tomorrow. And as this year draws to a close, I have to admit that I feel a sense of relief. This was definitely one of my more challenging and tumultuous years, and I will be happy to consider it part of my past. Recognizing Positive Experiences However, before I do, I think it's important to acknowledge my accomplishments within the struggles. Sometimes, when we are plagued by the abuse, and the inevitable drama, from the sociopath in our lives, we may have learned to cope by pushing away the memories that cause us to re-experience the hurt and sadness. But, as survivors, we need to …

Recovery From A Sociopath: New BeginningsRead More

Recover from the sociopath by experiencing beauty

December 23, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 38 Comments

Donna Andersen at Longwood Gardens What, you're probably wondering, is that pattern behind me? The gigantic, voluptuous red curves on a field of green? They're apples. Thousands of red and green apples. The apples are floating in a few inches of water on the floor of the indoor conservatory of Longwood Gardens. The display is breathtaking. It is beauty for the sake of beauty. And it is incredibly healing. Terry and I recently treated ourselves to a couple of days off. We took a trip not far and one of the places we visited was Longwood Gardens. Longwood Gardens, in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, was founded by Pierre DuPont of DuPont company fame in 1906. The conservatory in …

Recover from the sociopath by experiencing beautyRead More

Could oxytocin – the brain’s love chemical – be the real ‘love potion #9’?

December 20, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 42 Comments

Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. By Joyce M. Short Does Love Potion #9 Really Exist? The hit record written by Leiber & Stoller back in 1959, Love Potion #9, was originally recorded by The Clovers and published by the Aberbach brothers who owned Hill & Range Songs Inc …

Could oxytocin – the brain’s love chemical – be the real ‘love potion #9’?Read More

Donna Andersen on After the sociopath, proud of my healing: “Eleanor – Congratulations to you and all survivors. And thank you so much for your kind words. You, too, have…”
sept4 on Am I a sociopath magnet?: “Not me, I am one and done! My sociopath ex husband wrecked my life and I have never wanted to…”
sept4 on My psychopathic ex-husband is dead, and his pedophile brother is in prison: “Thank you Donna for sharing. My sociopath ex husband is a convicted criminal and continued his criminal activity after a…”
Donna Andersen on My psychopathic ex-husband is dead, and his pedophile brother is in prison: “I actually spent time with James Montgomery’s family when we got married. His father was deceased, but I met his…”
angeliii on My psychopathic ex-husband is dead, and his pedophile brother is in prison: “Hi Donna Thank you for sharing your story. I would be very surprised if the brother Bob did not continue…”