How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Archives for Recovery from a sociopath

Walking In My Shoes: Looking Back Over My Marriage to a Sociopath

//  by //  4 Comments

by Quinn Pierce Not-So-Spring Cleaning Since my divorce, I have done so much "spring cleaning" of my life, that I've given myself a pass on actually cleaning anything this year.  And, as the ice melts away, I will sit idly by with a cup of tea and admire the dust as it collects on my winter clothes that remain taking up precious space in my closet. The truth is, I don't have all that many clothes left, especially since I went through several cycles of gaining and losing weight during the end of my marriage and my divorce.  I chose to give away anything that didn't fit as I cleaned and sorted out my home, and my life, at the time.  It probably was a subconscious act on my part to di …

Walking In My Shoes: Looking Back Over My Marriage to a SociopathRead More

Tools of a Sociopath: Using the Silent Treatment to Manipulate and Control

//  by //  84 Comments

by Quinn Pierce A Stifling Silence One of my ex-husband's favorite tools of manipulation was the silent treatment. On the surface, it seemed like a childish ploy to get what he wanted, but in reality, the silent treatment is a behavior abusers use to attack their partner's vulnerability and self-esteem in order to exert control. I can clearly see now that my ex-husband took plenty of  time in the beginning of our relationship to assess how I would react to the silent treatment.  It is a skill he practiced and perfected along the way, until the greatest impact was achieved. A sociopath won't risk losing the relationship, so it was a complicated game he played to keep me off-balance, b …

Tools of a Sociopath: Using the Silent Treatment to Manipulate and ControlRead More

Tracking the False Tears of a Sociopath

//  by //  60 Comments

by Quinn Pierce A Repeat Performance I looked around the room trying to assess the damage.  With each tear that fell, I could sense a shift in the room.  All I could think was, “Oh great, how can I possible convince this entire group of people that this is an act?  These tears are not real!  These words do not mean anything!  He will leave here and continue to abuse and harass this child he cries for right now!" Instead, I said nothing.   Such is the reality of having married and divorced a sociopath.  It's a never ending struggle to maintain my composure when faced with lies, manipulation, deceit, and of course, his repeat performance as the consummate victim. Minimizing Conflict …

Tracking the False Tears of a SociopathRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He loves, he proposes, he gets money, he abandons

//  by //  12 Comments

Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a reader from Italy whom we'll call "Alessia." It all started a year and a half ago when I went through a huge crisis with my life that led me to make a decision to simply leave everything and go out of my country (Italy) on a long luxury vacation of four months. Knowing my destination from a past visit, and based on past decision to make this destination my second home, part of my plan was to buy a house on the beach in this four-month period. Arriving to my destination I didn't waste a second. I made a contact to real estate agency and asked to view some houses. Searching for real estate They sent me a 70+ year old real estate …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He loves, he proposes, he gets money, he abandonsRead More

Co-Parenting With a Sociopath: Helping My Children Navigate Through the Lies

//  by //  8 Comments

by Quinn Pierce A Confused and Anxious Child My younger son recently returned home from his father's house looking visibly distressed and anxious.  As we began asking what was wrong, the ever increasing list of possibilities began running through my mind.  I could tell these visits were taking a toll on my son, but he is not yet at the point where he can stand up for himself to his father.  My older son, however, mastered that skill earlier this year, and it has been a source of contention for my ex-husband ever since. And so, when my son started to explain what transpired the night before, it was no surprise to the rest of us as we listened.  Apparently, someone asked a seemingly in …

Co-Parenting With a Sociopath: Helping My Children Navigate Through the LiesRead More

Is “No Contact” the Antidote to Mother Nature?

//  by //  6 Comments

Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. By Joyce M. Short Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had our "ah-hah" moment and could simply turn off the faucet on our feelings? Unfortunately, the chemistry in our brains won't let us do so. And, instead, we rehash all the upsetting moments thinking about what we “coulda,” “woulda, “ “shoulda,” done. I know I wasted years thinking about how I could change his opinions and g …

Is “No Contact” the Antidote to Mother Nature?Read More

Divorcing a Sociopath: Redefining Possessions

//  by //  14 Comments

by Quinn Pierce What's Yours Is Mine... When teaching preschoolers, it can be very entertaining to watch the children interact according to the inherent set of rules set forth by this age group. This list of rules may be long, but the rules themselves are very simple: If it's mine, it's mine If it's yours, it's mine If I like it, it's mine If I think it's mine, it's mine If I can take it from you, it's mine If it's broken, it's your fault”¦and so on.  Everything Is His Possession Interestingly, this is the same set of rules that my ex-husband applied to our divorce.  It became very clear that he considered every object in his life a possession, including people, and he was enti …

Divorcing a Sociopath: Redefining PossessionsRead More

Continually picking at the ‘psychopathic scab’ won’t give the wound a chance to heal

//  by //  28 Comments

Editor's Note: Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of “Dark Souls Healing and recovering from toxic relationships.” By Sarah Strudwick heal verb \ˈhÄ“l\ : to become healthy or well again : to make (someone or something) healthy or well again This week I had to have two teeth out, which turned out to be pretty painful. I also ended up with an infection. I've had wisdom teeth out before many years ago but didn't necessarily want to remind myself of how uncomfortable it was. Despite the pain and infection, I know in time the gums will heal, albeit they may feel and look a little different after. We get hurt When we fall in love or become victim to a psychopath, often ou …

Continually picking at the ‘psychopathic scab’ won’t give the wound a chance to healRead More

Co-Parenting with a Sociopath Should Make the List of the Most Difficult Jobs in the World

//  by //  25 Comments

by Quinn Pierce  Recently, I came across a list of the most difficult jobs in the world.  The top contenders included: U. S. President, UN Negotiator, Prison Warden, and Air Traffic Controller, to name a few.  I don't argue that these are extremely stressful and challenging career choices, but I believe there is one that should have made the list, even if it isn't officially considered a career, and requires financial, emotional, and psychological debt rather than income: Co-Parenting with a Sociopath. A Daily Challenge As if parenting isn't challenging enough, trying to navigate the crazy-making, drama-filled world of a sociopath who has the ability to influence and harm your children …

Co-Parenting with a Sociopath Should Make the List of the Most Difficult Jobs in the WorldRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Every day was an absolute psychological torture

//  by //  9 Comments

Editor's Note: This letter was sent in by a European Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Lizbeth.” I had a relationship with a psychopath when I was young and naive. He completely wrecked my life. At that time I was a 20 year-old University student.  I was not stupid, but I still fell for his con. He was a few years older and already graduated from University. Every day was an absolute psychological torture. He completely humiliated me every day for utter nonsense. For instance, if I was ten minutes late, it would be a complete fall out. Or I would take a Spanish course, well that was the end of it, since I did not ask his permission to do so. Worst of all, nobody supported me. Mom fell f …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Every day was an absolute psychological tortureRead More