Two months after a mother of four separated from her husband, she found out from her children that their father had been sexually molesting them. She called the Ministry of Children and Family Development Vancouver and the Vancouver Police Department for assistance. The court issued a restraining order against the father preventing him from interacting with the mother or the children. In retaliation, the father and his friends called the Police and the Ministry repeatedly claiming the mother to be crazy and unfit to take care of the children. The court stepped in and awarded custody of the children to foster parents. A social worker eventually allowed the father unsupervised visitation, …
Married to a Sociopath: Illusions and Distractions
By Quinn Pierce I watched a special on television once about a magician. The show revealed secrets behind the magician's act. I remember watching the assistant disappear through a trap door. The door was situated beneath a table that was sitting on an angle which the audience couldn't see. It occurred to me that living with a sociopath is not unlike living with a magician. A sociopathic spouse creates an illusionary life complete with spontaneous tricks, secrets, and a hidden escape route. Distraction With a Touch of Flair Most arguments within my marriage were subject to a minimum requirement of drama. It was very unusual for a topic to be discussed at face value; usually, my ex …
Divorcing A Sociopath: The First Steps Are The Most Difficult
by Quinn Pierce I remember walking along the sidewalk, the ice-covered snow crunching under my feet. The moonlight did nothing to warm winter's night air, but I couldn't feel the cold. I just walked. One foot in front of the other. Next to me, my dog, Sammy, followed my pace keeping her long Great Dane legs in short strides. This was our usual Saturday night outing since separating from my ex-husband. It was the only thing I could bring myself to do instead of sitting at home, missing my children and crying. I tried so hard to shield them from the angry and hurt emotions swirling around my dissolving marriage. I believed it was best to try to foster a healthy relationship between …
Divorcing A Sociopath: The First Steps Are The Most DifficultRead More
Shellie Zimmerman, George Zimmerman’s estranged wife, speaks out about abuse
George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, 17, in Sanford, Florida, the night of February 26, 2012. Despite the media circus that followed, and Zimmerman's high-profile trial last summer that ended with his acquittal, I have never written about this case. Although it was a big story, I wasn't sure it was a Lovefraud story. Most of the media attention focused on the racial aspects of the case. Most of the debate was on whether or not justice was served. Neither of these issues necessarily correlates with sociopathy. There were a few hints that Zimmerman had sociopathic traits. In fact, a writer by the name of Shawn James did a good job of outlining them in his blog article, Why I …
Shellie Zimmerman, George Zimmerman’s estranged wife, speaks out about abuseRead More
Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Patricia Jackson, B.A., CAC III
Lovefraud presents a series of Q&A articles with members of the Professional Resources Guide. Patricia Jackson is a Psychiatrist, psychologist and therapist, who specializes in depression, women's issues, parenting, legal abuse, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse, victim of injustice, isolation, and special needs of intuitives and artists. She also offers expert evaluation and court testimony on issues of abuse and psychological torture, victimization assessments, treatment recommendations and provision and substance abuse. Q. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? A. I have been personally an …
Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Patricia Jackson, B.A., CAC IIIRead More
Recovery From A Sociopath: Next Steps
Some of our greatest life lessons are learned after we think we already passed the test. I believed that ending my marriage to a sociopath would be the defining step to my recovery and healing. I committed myself to a healthy lifestyle, and practiced the long-forgotten skill of believing in myself and trusting my instincts. So, it came as quite a surprise that there was much more work to be done if I wanted to rid my life of the residual effects of a toxic fifteen year relationship. Starting Over By the time I met the man who would turn out to be the real love of my life, I thought I had grown and healed much more than I actually had. Not eager to start a new relationship, I spent …
Divorced From a Sociopath: The Imperfect Stranger
by Quinn Pierce Have you ever looked at someone that you've known for much of your life and thought, “Who are you?” I had that moment today, standing outside my son's doctor's office listening to my ex-husband threaten to bring the police to my house to enforce his visitation rights. I watched his face contort and strain, his eyes hardened to match his tone, and his entire body tense as if for a fight. I looked to his right to see my younger son frozen in place, thrown into a state of post traumatic stress, and I thought: who is this maniac standing here yelling at me? A Moment of Clarity But then, I snapped back into the moment and realized I was about to get sucked into arguing wi …
Divorced From a Sociopath: Tools For Success
by Quinn Pierce It's like a switch, really, the way he turns his charm on and off. I watch the tell-tale facial expressions change in a split second as someone enters or exits the room. I often want to look around and yell, “Didn't you see that?” But he is too careful not to reveal the wrong mask to the intended person. It's another one of those moments when you think, “Am I really the only one who can see this? Doesn't anyone else realize this is all an act?” The Mask Slips And for so long, no one saw. He practiced and planned his timing like a seasoned actor on stage: perfect performance every time”¦.until recently. It may have taken twenty years, but it was worth the wait. …
Recovery From A Sociopath: Redefining Success
By Quinn Pierce I was very proud to be sitting in the front row in my pretty new dress, listening to the speaker praise us for our accomplishments and hard work. I had spent two years taking classes at night while running a business from home and taking care of my two children. There were nights I would be so tired after a three hour class that I would have to pull over and rest my eyes for a few minutes during my hour long commute home late at night. Balancing Act Most nights, I would come home to a relatively calm house, the boys asleep, my husband watching tv. But, some nights I would return to find invoices that need to be entered before the next day, or estimates that n …
Recovery From A Sociopath: Learning From Past Mistakes
by Quinn Pierce I've been thinking a lot lately about the process of learning from our mistakes. It sounds simple enough. After all, it's easy to look in the rear-view mirror and see exactly where we went wrong. Events always look so clear and uncomplicated when looking at them from a safe distance. So, with a little self-reflection, we can identify those decisions that led us into unsafe territory and vow never to make them again. Complicated Choices But, this is where I run into a problem. I know which experiences I do not want to repeat, but the choices I made that led to those experiences are not as black and white as the experiences themselves. For example, I chose to love …
Recovery From A Sociopath: Learning From Past MistakesRead More