Today a new book went on sale called, Confessions of a Sociopath: A life spent hiding in plain sight. The author is a woman writing under the pseudonym of M.E. Thomas. Although she doesn’t want people to know her real name gee, I wonder why? Thomas claims that she is a successful lawyer and a Mormon Sunday school teacher. Oh, and she enjoys ruining people’s lives.
Thomas runs a website written by sociopaths, for sociopaths. I don’t want to mention the name of it, because I don’t want to give it any publicity. (If you really want to know, send me an email.) On this website, people who say they are sociopaths swap stories about how they get over on the rest of us stupid sheep who are burdened with hearts and consciences.
Anyway, the book publisher, the Crown Publishing Group, an imprint of Random House, has apparently put its marketing muscle behind this memoir. An article by Thomas is featured as the cover story of this month’s Psychology Today
Tomorrow, M. E. Thomas is appearing on the Dr. Phil Show.
The publisher has sent out many advance reader copies. Amazon.com already has 35 reviews of the book. Another big review by Julia M. Klein appears on BostonGlobe.com. Her first paragraphs are:
Talk about an unreliable narrator: Just what are we to make of a book by a diagnosed sociopath that functions alternately as a warning against sociopathy, an apologia for it, and an embodiment of its worst manipulative tendencies?
This intermittently fascinating, if rather disjointed, account is part memoir, part psychological treatise, and entirely not to be trusted. Its pseudonymous author, M.E. Thomas, describes herself as a law professor and a Mormon who tithes and teaches Sunday school. Even more surprisingly, she claims to have “a close circle of family and friends whom I love and who very much love me.”
That last statement is ludicrous, of course, because the core of sociopathy is an inability to love. But as we all well very know, sociopaths are exceptionally good at talking about love and convincing us that their feelings are real.
At least this book, and the marketing dollars behind it, is drawing attention to the fact that millions of sociopaths live among us, and they aren’t all deranged serial killers. All of us here at Lovefraud have already learned that lesson the hard way.
After the money I lost to my own personal sociopath, the last thing I want to do is give money to another one by buying this book. I already know what they are.
ShockedBeyondWords
I have mixed feelings about a sociopath being on the cover of Psychology Today. I’m sure it just made her sense of entitlement and enormous ego worse. But at least the magazine is using the word “sociopath.” Maybe more people will learn that they exist.
I may have to watch Dr. Phil to see how he handles this.
Tea Light
Always a suprise when the odd comment like this appears given the high standards of respect the vast majority of the LF community show one another. Enjoy the book valli, that’s if you don’t work at Random House and have already enjoyed it.
Tea Light
Implying Donna has a ‘grudge’ is not my idea of respectful. Enjoy the book velli.
LadyA
I agree, not something I am going to spend my money on. But the reviews on the book made me think about something. It made me wonder if that person is really a sociopath, or are there different levels of sociopaths? How can they claim to be a sociopath yet “love” people in a close circle? To me it just sounds like the author of that book is an a**hole and maybe thinking it makes them look better if they call themselves a sociopath? Maybe it’s an excuse for ruining others’ lives… who knows?
I don’t comment often, but I do read regularly. Would be curious if anyone else has thoughts on this or if there are other articles that could point me in the direction I am headed.
Donna Andersen
LadyA – sociopaths are not capable of love, so they really don’t understand what the word means. Still, they may like being around certain people, and interpret that as love. Or, they may want to use people, and interpret that as love. One way or another, the statement is not authentic.
And yes, there are different degrees of sociopath – I like to say they range from sleazy to serial killer. A particular individual can be anywhere along the scale.
LadyA
Thank you Donna, That’s a really good point. I never really thought in depth about how they don’t actually know what the feeling of love is.
anothervictim
Yeah, I won’t be buying that. I’d rather read books about them written by experts. After all, all sociopaths are pathological liars. Why would anyone expect anything in the book to be true? I’m guessing it’s full of lies and exaggerations.
learnedmylesson
Wonder how this sociopath/author convinced the book company to tell her story.A compilation book of OUR stories would seem more interesting.Who decided that one….a fellow s/path?
Tea Light
learnedmylesson the publisher is I think the same one that commissioned the OJ Simpson confession oops ‘confession’. The word sociopath will get this thing media coverage and sell to the naive and the disordered themselvesmaybe. Noone who has knowledge and experience of being a survivor of a sociopath needs to give it the time of day.
blossom4th
I don’t know whether to be disappointed that this self-claimed sociopath is receiving air time…or hope that Dr Phil will expose her for what she is!My question is: WHY WOULD A SOCIOPATH WANT TO IDENTIFY THEMSELF? (I realize she isn’t actually identifying herself)Maybe I should rephrase that question:WHY TAKE PRIDE IN IDENTIFYING YOURSELF AS A SOCIOPATH? I’m sure she considers herself a “good communicator”; a “people person”.But it was the POWER that attracted her to the career she chose!
learnedmylesson
The ego of the sociopath knows no bounds.It ll be a publicity orgasm.
Infinity
I think most sociopaths are proud of it. They are, after all, narcissistic. They have something on us and find us as fools for not being one of them.
It is my prediction that the population of spaths will increase in the next 10 years. It is being glamourized, even tauted as a desirable, enviable trait. It is no longer enough to see if you can spot the spath, rather, see if you can rule out that he is one.
lost everything
I am in a somewhat unique position. Not only did I know the spath since childhood and was married to him, at least nominally, for 33 years, I have complete, legal, access to all of his writings. I have spoken to people that knew him in his double life. I also have access to all of the third party papers, credit card, stock broker, etc. . With the help of a forensic psychologist I am seeing the sociopathic self come to light in his writings, even more enlightening is the way other people reacted to him. But in order to have a clear picture you have to know all sides of the sociopath.
I had no idea what he was doing, just as people in his ‘sub-world’, as well as people in the real world, couldn’t see through his lies. He was taken at face value.
Spaths are complete liars; however, in their lies, there is a microscopic bit of truth. Again you have to see all sides of the spath to find that drop of truth.
Highly intelligent spaths write very convincingly.
They do have a foil; sometimes they are so good at lying they can get lost in the illusions they created themselves. My spath wrote to a ‘lady’ in the ‘sub-world’: “the one I used to call my “real life” – but which half is “real” is no longer clear”. He got so use to living in the sociopathic facade, that at times he seemed to forget the life he created was based on carefully crafted crimes.
Donna is absolutely right about the inability to love. They however, can emulate love so perfect their targets fall deeply love with them. What the target never realizes is that their actions and words are completely void of real feelings. I learned a lot about the complete lack of love from my spath’s interactions with his escorts and other johns, especially his ‘marks’. Spaths use the love of others to further their goals.
I wouldn’t spend my money on the book either.
learnedmylesson
I used to tell my s/path “girlfriend” all the time—-“You don t love me.”…I said it every so often.She said she wanted to love me but there was a wall stopping her from feeling the way I wanted her to feel for me.That if I was patient…maybe I could break through.Oh …she said the words eventually…but even then I could tell she didnt “love” me.For a sociopath,she was kind of honest about things –until she started lying about EVERYTHING.Very frustrating times.
fightforwhatsright
I read somewhere to tell them how transparent they are and I did that. When he lies, I say “I don’t believe you.” He will just look at me and he knows I know he is lying! A few days ago I asked him a question about something that didn’t even matter and he said, “No” and then “Yes!” He was absolutely lying about something so unimportant, no one would care which was the true answer. They just truly enjoy lying in a way we can not fathom. If he is manipulative, I say, “Why don’t you ask for what you want? Your manipulation is so transparent. Your behaviors are not unique at all. There are so many others out there just like you. Lying. Cheating. Manipulating. Once someone sees it, it is so easy to see.” He HATES that. He slinks out of the room and forgets what he was trying to get me to do. I read about one woman who has told her husband she knows he is a sociopath and they might as well talk about it. So, they DO! It’s out there in the open so he can’t feel good like he’s pulled one over on her. They hate being ordinary losers and knowing we know. They think their lying and manipulation are their special powers and there is no one like them. Yet, here we all are with so many similar stories of how alike they all are!
Tea Light
‘They hate being ordinary losers and knowing we know. They think their lying and manipulationc are their special powers and there is no one like them’ …that was my experience, he led the dullest life outside of his cheating and abuse of women. Dull job, no interests outside sex television food and abusing women. No achievements, no leisure activities, no community involvement. Just a dull little man on the surface and a raging narcopath to women and his children. He knew he was an insignificant loser and had to act out abusively to stay in denial about it as best he could. In his sick mind controlling, cheating, lying makes him special, superior. God I loath him.
dorothy2
Good one TeaLight……just described Spathx life…….”Dull job, no interests outside sex television food and abusing women. No achievements, no leisure activities, no community involvement.”
Except you didn’t put drinking it but he does that while he does all of the spathtivities. Lovely chap