In his new book, Oliver James, a British psychologist and TV broadcaster, describes the worst of white-collar workers.
Why your boss could easily be a psychopath, on Telegraph.co.uk.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
My ex-spath was diagnosed under the cluster B. Dangerous and manipulative people who lie to turn everything on you.
They want the free ride, to leach off of others, like parasites. Be strong, fight back, and no contact!!! The more you engage with their dangerous games, the more narcissism supply you are giving them. They love this, until you stop, then they move to their next victim. They will alsways try to come back if they do not get the narcissism supply from someone else, but avoid the contact. These people are dangerous, and know every vulnerabilty you have.
Welcome edge of sanity, sounds to me like you are pretty sane in your advice.
Found this while googling crazy making behaviour!
A woman was walking down a road, and she came upon a badly injured snake, a variety she knew was poisonous; but she knew if she left it it would likely die. So she took it home, made it a nest, cleaned its wounds, fed it and gave it water. The snake slowly began to recover and she actually started to really care for the snake. Every day he got stronger and they developed a friendship (this is a story, so snakes can talk!). He was almost fully recovered when the woman came to check on him, and he lunged at her and bit her in her arm injecting his poisonous venom. She was stunned. “How could you do that?, she asked. I took you in, I took care of you, I cleaned your wounds, I saved your life”. “What did you expect?, he replied. “I’m a snake”.
Strongawoman……..LOVE IT!!!!! 😀
Truthspeak says:
“TeaLight, any environment that presents opportunities to exert power, control, and manipulations is a hotbed for NPD and sociopathy to thrive. The worst environments that I’ve observed were (in order of magnitude):
* Law Enforcement, corrections, all things “legally” associated (judges, attorneys, etc.)
* Medical environments
* Educational environments (particularly college/university)
* Organized religion
Sports also factors into these environments and, given any particular day, could be anywhere in between.”
From my experience, I would put Financial Services at the top.
The rest I very much agree with, especially the legal system, particularly the American legal system, where the altruistic notion of innocent until proven guilty has morphed into a system the often protects the guilty.
In medical environments, mental health professionals are often the worst offenders. Medical doctors in an education environment are also particularly Cluster-B. I saw this first hand in grad school. When I studied Biomedical Engineering, there was a marked difference in the attitude of the Medical professors (all MDs as well) compared to the Engineering professors.
Education is the only business where the “customer” service and satisfaction are nil — customers are at the mercy of institution with virtually no recourse — educational “malpractice” is almost non-existent. Tenure, another principle founded in altruism, protects unproductive educators and is a leading driver to the astronomical cost of education.
Sport, I would say that many showing very strong competitiveness, even at the amateur level, are high in Cluster-B traits. I used to be very active on several sports and fitness related boards and stopped posting there because I simply became tired of the bullying, personal attacks and flaming. At the professional level, despite our society’s embracing sports persons as heroes, most are either Narcissists or Sociopaths, or both.
Strongawoman,
They will do it EVERY TIME…that’s what snakes do….psychopaths too.
@Truthspeak:
Yet again, you succintly summed up the major issue in my relationship with the spath…
“Causing you to SACRIFICE for HIS illusion, and beat you down for any objection that you might have. Once you agreed to consider it, he pulled the rug out from under your feet to make you INVALID, on every level. You were NOT allowed to have your own personal goals, and you were PUNISHED for failing to submit to his demands.”
OMG! That is exactly what he did, on a daily basis! And punish he did! And even if I was going along with his crazy ideas and schemes, he still would sabotage me…
His goals had to be my goals, and if they weren’t he would start to harangue me, saying the same thing over and over again, until I agreed or walked away or hung up! Now I know it was just to mess with my mind. I think about that quote I read, either on this site or another one…
“Being with a sociopath is like having an eggbeater put into your brain and turning it on.” So true!
Newlife43,
an eggbeater in your brain is a great analogy. Couldn’t think straight, make a decision, think for myself. Of course that was how he wanted it. I sympathise with your exp. Mine always wanted more! Of everything. And me and my credit card provided it for him. If I refused he would threaten to leave or have a massive strop which usually involved the silent treatment. Vile.
Ox, I love the snake story.
I heard a different version but same tag line at the end…and it is SO TRUE…they do what they do because of what they are. No matter how much you love and stroke a snake, it is NOT going to grow fur and love you like a puppy. LOLROTFLMAO
Strongawoman,
I also heard a version with a scorpion and a bear.
Regardless of the version, that story is probably one of the best analogies to describe not just the toxic spath, but also our own cognitive dissonance in responding with pity to a lethal creature and then being surprised when it repays us with venom.
Not all of us recognized our spaths as venomous, though. When you’re raised in a den of vipers, it just looks familiar.
🙁
How was I to know I’d encountered a king cobra?