John Allen Muhammad, the D.C. Sniper, will die by lethal injection tomorrow.
John Allen Muhammad and his teenaged accomplice, Lee Boyd Malvo, terrorized the Washington, D.C. area for three weeks in October 2002. In the end, 10 people were dead and three were wounded. The victims, selected at random, were shot while doing mundane chores like pumping gas and loading Halloween decorations into a car.
I’m sure you remember the terror of the killings. But you may not realize that the killing spree was an escalation of a child custody battle.
Psychological abuse
Mildred Muhammad, the ex-wife of John Allen Muhammad, spoke at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference in Albany last January. Her story was compelling—and heartbreaking.
Mildred was married to Muhammad for 12 years, and they had three children together. Muhammad served in the Gulf War and when he returned, he became abusive.
“His behavior turned to possessiveness,” Mildred said. “I couldn’t do anything right. He was trained in psychological warfare—he was a combat engineer—and he used me as his guinea pig.”
Muhammad didn’t hit her, but inflicted psychological abuse. “Every emotion I displayed, he used against me,” Mildred said. Finally, in 1999, she asked for a divorce.
Kidnapped children
Before, during and after their divorce, Muhammad threatened to kill Mildred. He drained their bank account and kidnapped the children, taking them to Antigua for 18 months. Mildred was forced to hide in a women’s shelter for eight months in the Tacoma, Washington area.
She could not afford legal representation. So while in the women’s shelter, Mildred taught herself the law so she could represent herself. Eventually the children were located. Mildred went to court, won her case and was awarded full custody. Then she fled across the country to Maryland.
Muhammad found her. And, Mildred says, that’s why he went on the killing spree. Muhammad planned to kill her, and the rest of the murders were an elaborate ruse to cover up her murder. She would just be another of the random victims, and he could show up as the grieving ex-husband, and claim the children.
Want to win
When John Allen Muhammad was brought to trial, the prosecutor put forth Mildred’s contention that the killing spree was intended cover up the eventual death of his ex-wife. The court, however, ruled that there was insufficient evidence to support the argument.
But after all the stories I’ve heard from Lovefraud readers, I think it’s totally plausible. Sociopaths want to win. Nothing else matters to them. I believe John Allen Muhammad was willing to kill 10 innocent people, at random, just to get his way.
If ever there was a case that demonstrated the lengths a sociopath will go to in order to win, this is it.
No conscience
According to the Richmond Times-Dispatch, Muhammad’s lawyers filed an appeal with the U.S. Supreme Court last week, claiming that the killer is mentally ill and delusional.
But Paul Ebert, the Virginia prosecutor who won Muhammad’s death sentence, said, “This guy had absolutely no conscience. He killed people just like they were flies.”
Mildred also does not believe that her ex-husband is mentally ill.
Support for other victims
Mildred has written a book about her ordeal called Scared Silent. She has also founded an organization in Maryland to support survivors of domestic violence called After the Trauma.
“I started After the Trauma because of my own personal domestic violence experience and thought of all the other women in similar situations who need day-to-day assistance, as I did,” Mildred writes on her website. “After the Trauma is women who are transitioning from a domestic violence situation and are ready to take the next step into ”˜freedom.’”
Like many of us here at Lovefraud, Mildred Muhammad has been through an incredible ordeal. And like many of us, she emerged on the other side stronger, and willing to help others along the path to healing.
Note that Mildred is far from “incompetent”:
“She could not afford legal representation. So while in the women’s shelter, Mildred taught herself the law so she could represent herself. Eventually the children were located. Mildred went to court, won her case and was awarded full custody. Then she fled across the country to Maryland.”
“Mildred has written a book about her ordeal called Scared Silent. She has also founded an organization in Maryland to support survivors of domestic violence called After the Trauma.
“I started After the Trauma because of my own personal domestic violence experience and thought of all the other women in similar situations who need day-to-day assistance, as I did,” Mildred writes on her website. “After the Trauma is women who are transitioning from a domestic violence situation and are ready to take the next step into ’freedom.’””
The Ns, Ps and Ss will tell us over and over again that we’re pathetic subhumans. They’ll say it so often and with such confidence that we’ll come to more than half believe it.
The supercilious onlookers, who’ve never been targeted themselves, will tell us the same thing. “We were targeted because we’re weak and broken.” This explanation helps them to feel safe and superior, but it works for them at our expense.
What a crock: we were targeted for exploitation because we were kinder than average and unusually competent.
Don’t buy into that “broken, wounded, pathetic you” brain washing. It’s just a new form of abuse and exploitation.
Just get on with your kind, competent life, only a bit warier from here on out.
I well remember that event and following it in the news. I chalked it up at the time to just another rage-type killing by some angry nut case, but Mildred’s version of lthe motive for the killing makes PERFECT SENSE IN A PSYCHOPATH’S MIND, and sounds like something that my P-son and his Trojan Horse P could have come up with.
I am glad that this woman has risen from her ashes like the Phoneix, but better than that, she has TURNED THOSE ASHES INTO GOLD for helping other women in her own previous condition.
I award this woman the GOLDEN SKILLET! and my prayers for her continued success for the rest of her life!@....... If anyone should believe her stories it is US!
EC your inner-warrior is HOT today!!!!
“The supercilious onlookers, who’ve never been targeted themselves, will tell us the same thing. “We were targeted because we’re weak and broken.” This explanation helps them to feel safe and superior, but it works for them at our expense.
What a crock: we were targeted for exploitation because we were kinder than average and unusually competent.”
Amen EC. Amen.
As a domestic violence survivor, I appreciate what Mildred is doing to help domestic violence victims. I admire her for getting out there and spreading the word by educating people. I’m still pretty quiet about it to people I meet. I talk about it on this board, but the only other time I talk about it is in my weekly therapy sessions. I don’t go around telling people about what happened to me. I’m also always with my son all of the rest of the time and I don’t want him hearing that about his father. It’s not healthy for him. I would like to get the a point someday, after I am healed and feel find, to volunteer somewhere or something to help people with what I’ve been through. What Mildred is doing is on such a large scale though and I really admire that. I can’t believe what a horrific tragedy this whole situation was. This man was truly evil.
Edit: “I would like to get to a point someday, after I am healed and feel fine,”
Elizabeth Conley,
I agree with your point of view 100% and it needed to be said. Thank you for articulating so well what I feel to be true. Since I have started viewing it this way, my self-esteem has really been increasing and I have started to actually feel HAPPINESS again. It was a foreign feeling, but it feels so good and light to start feeling it again.
I was blaming myself so much that the guilt was killing me slowly. Once I started remembering the great things about myself, that I’m not worthless now and that I did not make this happen (he did); I’ve been getting better. Finally. That’s what worked for me at least. Different points of view and different methods work for different people.
I was so effected by my PTSD that I didn’t trust anyone at all and was wary of EVERYONE and my ability to read EVERYONE, so once I remembered that I actually used to be a good judge of character and was a strong individual, I started trusting in myself more. The P was my one big mess-up. I don’t typically have people like him in my life. So, finally realizing this has set me free a little bit.
Now, I’m finally WANTING to be with friends and meet new people instead of just forcing myself to do it because it’s “emotionally healthy” for recovery. If it’s a sunny day, I’m actually excited to get out and explore with my baby and go to the beach. Before, I did it because I was “supposed to” or because my baby need to do it to be healthy. I was going through the motions of getting better because I really wanted to get better, but not enough to actually enjoy anything. I had too much anxiety and was on such high-alert that I couldn’t enjoy anything. I was too exhausted. I was stuck and the longer I started to stay in that phase, the longer I started to actually become that person. New ways of thinking and being were starting to become habits and starting to become ME. I literally woke up one day a month ago and realized this. I realized that I don’t want to be that person and that I wanted to be ME. So, I’ve started to remember who ME is and what I like about myself. Before, my heart just wasn’t into the recovery process. I guess I needed to be sad and mad for awhile. Everyone’s path is different.
I have a long way to go in recovering, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now and for the first time, I have hope for the future and am learning to enjoy the present and actually BE in the present. I’m learning to like myself again and think I’m smart again, so eventually I can trust myself fully again and be whole. I don’t want to stop being a kind person because that’s who I am. It’s in my nature and I don’t want to change my nature. I want to be that kind person at the level I was before, but I want to always be kind to myself FIRST and stay away from people with red flags.
Dear Jill,
The post above shows how far you have already come from when you first came here on LF TERRIFIED (and justifiably so I might add) I have also been TERRIFIED, and it is not a feeling I want to have again. Our world is not 100% safe, and not everyone is “nice” some people are just EVIL (as you pointed out about this man) and their motivations are so foreign to us that we couldn’t even comprehend such twisted “reasoning”—much less do it—-and I think that is why so many people can’t or won’t see the truth in this kind of “evil” as it makes the world too scary a place for them. They think there has to obe an “understandable” (from a normal point of view) motive to every act. It is a scary thing to admit to yourself that there ARE evil people in this world who would plan and do this type of thing for the reasons we know are their reasons, and no one else “believes” us.
We have discovered a “secret” evil in this world and been FORCEd to accept it is real (which it is) but others may have a vested interest (their feeling of safety) in the non-existence of true EVIL in our world. It makes them afraid and therefore they cannot admit it is true.
We have been forced by our circumstances to realize the TRUTH of purely EVIL people. But, admitting that, I do not choose to continue to live in TERROR of that evil, but to be rationally cautious.
Like EC was talking about when she was broken down with two flat tires. She did not uncautiously accept offered “help” from people she did not know. She wasn’t terrified, but she was cautious and she handled the situation in a cautious and logical manner. I want to live like that as well. I want to live with reasonable, rational caution, but not TERROR.
The hyperalert state of terror keeps us in unending stress which is not good for us or anyone in our environment, I think. I don’t live in that hyper-alert state any more, but I lookk around me, am aware of my environment and look at a situation with a “what is teh worst thing that can happen” stance, so like Elizabeth Conely, I try to get the situation fixed with the least possible risk to myself.
That’s just good sense. I know that you cannot look at a stranger and know that they are safe when you are vulnerable. So what she did about getting back into her car when strangers approached is a good thing. A cautious thing.
Just as my cat cautiously approaches new things I want to cautiously approach new people (or have them approach me) so that I can judge the situation so that I am SAFE. On the side of the highway, this is pretty hard to do. So, therefore, I am VERY cautious in exposing myself, just like EC, but I don’t think she was terrorized by the approach of others.
As we live in relative safety and work on our healing and become more sure of our own judgment (I think the worst thing I lost was the confidence in myself to make good judgments) and we start to TRUST OURSELVES AGAIN TO KEEP US SAFE, then we become more relaxed, and like the cat, approach new things and new people cautiously, but not in terror, we lose some of that anxiety we had about our own, and in your case, the safety of your son.
You are an amazing young woman Jill, and you have been through a great deal between your x and your family’s attitudes. You have great strength and I admire how you have survived and your determination to keep yourself and your son safe. Your determination to heal from the trauma you have suffered.
I’m glad that you are starting to want to reach out to others and see your friends and to meet new people. That is a very positive sign! God bless you and your baby and big hugs to you both!
Jillsmith,
I dont post often, but wanted to say that I appreciate your post about your recovery. I, too, spent alot of energy in the same way you do. Its part of the process of healing. It’s been 2 years since I left the S. I’ve been battling legally for our child’s safety ever since (and I am winning despite financial ruin). Despite all the support I’ve receive from family and friends, I still obsess over the fact that I CHOSE this person to father a child. I dont trust myself and I still cry at the thought of going on a date with someone. I dont trust my judgements anymore.
Have just read the magnificently correct post of Steve Becker. Now I have no doubt whatsoever that I was with a Sociopath, him to a T!
I can’t speak highly enough of Lovefraud!
I thank you all.
Ttryingtoheal, I think most of us feel that way a bout LF.
I heard on the news last night that the Supreme Court did not overturn or give him stay, so unless the Governor gives him a pass for the death sentence, I think he will be executed today. I can’t see a Governor being that intent on political suicide so I have a feeling his execution will be carried out today.
I also heard on the news last night that the Ft. Hood shooter had gone to his local Mosque wanting to be some kind of LAY LEADER and they turned him down and told him that he was “sick.” Interesting. However, apparently the various terrorists organizations (apparently he had tried unsuccessfully to contact them) were hailing him as a hero.
He is conscious now and off the ventilator but his attorney won’t let him talk to authhorities. Also learned that the police officer who shot him, a very tiny woman, when she saw him shooting was running at him firing, and even after she was hit three times, kept running toward him. she is known among her fellow officers as Mighty Mouse for her bravery. Her husband is in the Special Services in the Army. I can see where she got the nickname. Talk about keeping your head in a fire fight! Apparently, according to the article I read, out of uniform, she is known as a quiet and nice neighbor and friend.