D.C. Sniper killing spree was a plot to win child custody

Not EB. EB just stated it in a nice way. She’s nice about it at least. Okay. Now I’m going, but not to bed. No sleep for me tonight now and now I have this stupid sleeping pill in my system and just feel wound up and drugged out on Ambien at the same time. This is my first time ever taking sleep medication and NOW THIS.

Heaven,

I didn’t mean it in a hateful tone. I swear. I went back and read it and can easily see that it was mean in one. I’ll admit my tone to Kim might be considered hateful. I was speaking up for myself and I am not the best at it but I wanted to make it very clear that boundaries are violated for me when someone tells me how I feel and sums me up or judges me. It was not a very good response to a simple question I asked.

Oxy,

I am actually pretty shocked that no one else said anything about the post Kim made to me. Did read the language she used to me after I asked a simple quetion then stated that something made me sad. I specifically said it made me feel triggered. Then, Kim posted that comment, AFTER I said I was triggered. I was the only one who wasn’t hiding, playing passive-aggressive or outright games with the Evil Clown. I am the only one who just told him that I did not want to engage with him socially and I drew my boundary.

Now, each time I am not on here for a while, Skylar has said something about me or tried to put words in my mouth and speak FOR me. She did this the other day by planting that seed and making me look pathetic in the comment she made to you about my apology to you for continuing a topic you wanted to end. I feel it was rude to use me to try to make you look bad and then she ended up slamming me unfairly. Couple with Tilly’s constant following me around the board before, it was easy for Skylar to plant little seeds, then voila! You get people like Kim who just want to jump on the bandwagon of picking on someone. Were they mad I came onto the board saying I was celebrating because of the hugest victory of my life? Why would they do that? What is going on there? By the way, my version of celebrating is to go for 2 for 1 personal pizza special around the corner and have chocolate ice-cream, not pop pills and get drunk, like others. I am actually TRYING to recover, so to deal with Skylar is difficult. I don’t deal well with drunk people. I shouldn’t have to have patience with drunk people. This isn’t a frat house. It was a weeknight, for heaven’s sake.

You know that my stance has NEVER been to leave for good and take my toys and go. Remember the post I posted a few days ago about how I didn’t think this was a good idea? I also stated that I noticed there is a lot of contention on the board and that I needed to take that into account when deciding if it is healthy for me to be here or not. I have taken a lot of time and care with this decision, because I learn so much and appreciate people like you on this board.

As I aws thinking about it all, I started noting how many times I was in a perfectly good mood and even happy for the first time in a long time. I then would come to the board and immediately get triggered and rightfully so when I come back on here and read comments that were written behind my back and using my name. Even Skylar’s post attacking EVERYONE the other night had my name. She brought me into all of this unfairly while I was gone for a whole month. I came on to read she said claimed I felt the same way about the board as her. She also said the comment to you about my apology to make me look pathetic and spinelesss, which Kim bought into perfectly, not even seeing what was going on. Skylar has played a very destructive game and I am not the only person she has hurt through this. It was so much gaslighting and undercurrent meanness covered with nice compliments, that it took me a very long time to figure out last night. When I saw her post about how she only has a few years left and wants to enjoy them, I noticed it is the EXACT same language her supposed P said to her in those supposed emails and phone conversations where she supposedly wrote down everything from an answering machine. The language she used is in her voice. As someone with a background in linguistics, it was not difficult for me to pick up on this, once I saw it. I have never been anything but nice and supportive of Skylar and I was not fake about it. I did not deserve any of this.

The good news is that I have been recovering enough to KNOW that I do not deserve it and to not hang around somewere that feels abusive right while I’m trying to heal from serious abuse. Taking all of this into consideration and coming on here again and again to find the same thing, I would be a stupid human being to continue behavior that is so obviously not working for me. It was time to reframe and start some new, healthy habits to put in the place.

I’ll be fine. I have a great therapist. Additionally, I go to a exmormon recovery support board. There are an average of 100,000 hits a day on that recovery site, so recovering from cult programming is a bit deal. As I have proceeded with therapy over the years, I have had great therapists who have helped me get to the root of my “problem”. At the root of BOTH cases of physical and sexual abuse in my life, were mormon men who are direct descendents of Joseph Smith (so am I). If you’re a mormon with ancestors who were pioneers who walked across the country to Utah. My family is the real deal mormon family, dating back to Joe himself. It’s nto hard to be related to him though when he had dozens of wives and fathered so many kids. ALL mormon men practiced this gross sexual deviant practice. He even married 13 year olds and no, this was not a common age to marry back then, as many mormons will say to defend him. The average age of marriage then was 18-19. Historical documents and census results prove this to be true. He STOLE people’s wives. He told them that God told him that they were supposed to go on a mission to Europe for sometimes 5 to 10 years. Since he had convinced them all that he had private conversations with God all of the time and that if you disobey him (he claimed to be a prophet), that you would never see your family again in the after-life and that it was a sin worse than murder. So, then the men would go, and Joseph would marry their wives AND daughters. He married children of women he married. He fathered many children to very young girls who had just gone through puberty. He then taught a whole group of people that this is how men are supposed to treat women and that women are “their possessions” Mormons still say that women are their husband’s possessions and they can only go to heaven if they do exactly what their leader/owner/husband tells them to do. Period. That is why my family got mad when I left my P. They think that I condemning my child to a life in hell because they claim that only my ex-husband can “save” me when Jesus comes. This is honestly and truly how they view the world. Luckily, I used my brain after years of being brainwashed and knew I smelled a poopy diaper. Mormonism is a whole culture though, not just a religion. They even told me what underwear I had to wear. I wen through their temple when I was 21 and had to wear their silly underwear they claim is magic. That’s SHORTS and an undershirt made of polyester under all of my clothes, all the time, even when home alone in my own home with my husband. You have to wear your undershirt OVER your bra, which is gross and weird. You even have to do it in Arizona’s 115 degree temperatures, or you won’t go to heaven. Additionally, Joseph Smith was nothing but a conman. What exmoromons are recovering from specifically is a great con. They even say JS was a Sociopath in my other recovery forum and talk about and educate themselves about sociopaths all the time. He was a 14 year-old magician and treasure hunter. That’s what he did for fun. He was hunting for gold and treasures in the woods when he claimed he found the gold Book of Mormon and Jesus and Heavenly Father came down (with glowing, physical bodies) and told him to start this cult. He then forced all members to pay 10% of their income and often everything they own. I was taught that anything I own is really not mine, but the mormon church’s. This is what I was taught growing up. I spent 20-30 hours of unpaid work in that cult, starting with assignments and jobs when I was only 16 years old. Now, Mormons are being told to double their tithing and receive more rewards and no, tithing is not really a choice when you are told that they only way you can be saved and go to heaven is to pay it, since you were a child. I had to pay birthday card money from my tithing and my babysitting. It doesn’t go to charity, like they claim. 1% of this money goes to tithing. The mormon church is not shy in saying their goal is to convert the whole world. That is why they do what is called “baptisms for the dead” when they baptize people who have died by proxy. Kids can do this part of temple work, so at 12 I had to get dunked over and over again in a pool of water for 30 minutes straight for all these dead people. Then, I had to do it again and again in between breaks. This how I spent my Saturdays growing up. Then, not to mention seminary at 5:00 in the morning every morning in Jr. High and High School. All to be told what was wrong with me because I was a woman and that abuse is okay kept within families. You may wonder where their other 99% of billions of dollars go? Well, for one, they are building a MALL in Salt Lake City that they just announced will now cost 3 Billion dollars. Yes, you read right. Research it. Two clicks on google and you can read all of this stuff for yourself. They only claim to give lots of money to charity. They are using stories about mothers going without heat and water to pay their tithing and promise that these women will be blessed. The leaders still take jets all over and have salaries of 500,000 plus limos and the list of their vacation spots around the world and their million dollar condos in Salt Lake. The list of their sicknesses goes on and on. They tell starving members in Argentina to pay this too. Why? So that the rich mormons can shop and give the mormon cult even more money.

My ex even looks like Joseph Smith, which makes sense since it’s his relative. Most mormons look very similar because of all of the inbreeding for years. My psychological problems could have something to do with years of this rape and inbreeding. That effects genetics, you know. I explained all of this because many times my experiences as a mormon have all been brused aside and I was told all religions are like this. I wish people would do research before making statements like this. Mormons seem nice and normal because they put great effort into doing so. They specifically don’t tell people about all of this weird stuff (if ever) until AFTER they are baptized and sucked in. It’s very hush-hush and you have no idea about mormons. It is not a religion. It is a destructive cult where millions of members are taught to do everything ONE man says, no matter what. I even took a blood oath in their secret temple where I had to do a gesture with all of the other people there, acting out disembowling myself and killing myself or letting someone kill me if I tell about the temple. I did a slitting throat hand motion and disembowlment re-enactment motion to “symbolize” my oath before God that I would kill myself if I told anything about the temple. Now I say HOGWASH. I’ll tell anyone anything I want to about any of the experiences of my life. I won’t keep their secrets anymore. By the way, they did actually kill mormons for telling these things only 150 year ago. They were called Danites. It’s historical. They also killed many Dutch immigrants in Utah at the Mountain Meadow Massacre. They dressed up as Native Americans and murdered women and men and some children, with axes. This is true and historical. PBS even did a special on it. I was working on a documentary too, categorizing the vioence of this cultish organization. They then took all of the kids and adopted them. This was only a couple hundred year ago. Can you imagine being one of those kids? The crazy mormons were so paranoid that the Dutch immigrants were sent by the government to stop the polygamy that they escaped across the country to still practice, illegally in Utah. This was just a normal, nice group of Dutch pioneers who were not violent and who were NOT sent by the goverment. The mormon leader ordered these murders in the name of being able to have sex and rape multiple women and children, forcing them to marry and be one of dozens of wives. It’s sick. Now do you think the mormon cult is so innocent and the same as other relgions. You can look all of this stuff up because there it’s true and there are many historical documents backing it up. Mormons cannot produce ONE SINGLE document to back up any of their ridiculous claims. Now you know the damage that one Sociopath can do. The pain that Joseph Smith has caused is beyond understanding. It will be with this country for hundreds of years until people wise up and stop letting Sociopaths run the show.

So, I am still going to learn about and stay away from Sociopaths through my other, much more healthy for me, recovery group. Anyway, sorry to leave like this, but I have felt very misunderstood and attacked here and I’m trying to make emotional decisions that are healthy. And no, this is NOT like real life on this board. I understand why all of this goes on because there are so many unhealthy people on here playing off of each other, but it’s not for me anymore. Please take good care of yourselves. I do care about you and wish you the best.