The State of New York just passed a law allowing same sex-couples to marry. Opponents of same-sex marriage complain that the practice undermines the institution of marriage. Therefore, Congress enacted the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in 1996, which bared federal recognition of same-sex marriages and allowed states to do the same. DOMA also created a federal definition of “marriage” and “spouse”. Marriage is defined as a “legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife,” and spouse is defined as “a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.”
To all those who really want to defend marriage, I say that nothing undermines the institution of marriage more than sociopaths who use the institution to defraud others. I spoke with someone yesterday who is trying to protect a friend from just such a situation. The sad truth is that it is not a crime to lie your way into a marriage then use the marriage to prey upon an innocent spouse.
In most states when couples apply for a marriage license they have to raise their right hands and swear the information provided is true. Sociopaths have no problem honestly swearing to false information. As Sandra Phipps of Fight Bigamy says “Getting away with multiple, fraudulent marriages in our country is a snap.”
With the help of Sandra Phipps, I surveyed victims of bigamy about their experiences and asked them to complete the PSCAN an instrument developed by Robert Hare to allow non-clinicians to share information about another person’s psychopathic personality traits. I presented the results of this survey at the May SSSP meeting. It is no surprise that all of the bigamists score in the very high level of concern for psychopathy range.
I would go as far as to say that Marriage fraud other than for immigration is likely the only crime committed only by sociopaths. Furthermore, family members especially parents and spouses are the primary targets of sociopaths.
If we really want to “defend marriage” we have to enact laws that make marriage fraud a crime. Why shouldn’t it be illegal to lie your way into this social contract? Why shouldn’t those who commit bigamy get more than a “slap on the wrist”? Authorities routinely say to bigamy and marriage fraud victims “You should have been more careful.” These statements are based on a “blame the victim” mentality that could be applied to many crimes.
The true defenders of marriage need signatures for their petition to develop a National Marriage Database. I encourage you to sign the petition but also say we need to go further and make marriage fraud a crime.
Click here now to Sign the petition
Related articles on Lovefraud:
Sign the petition for a marriage database (2006)
Bigamists, sociopaths, and the call for a marriage database
one/joy_step_at_a_time
miss lizzy – do yo see how jerked around you have been about this woman, for months? end the drama. it might be rocky for a bit, but my god girl, get ‘er done.
even if she IS interested, doesn’t mean that you have to do anything about it, and if she isn’t, she isn’t. and the sooner you get out of this phase of roller coaster emo, the better. it seems to me you are traumatizing yourself.
ElizabethBennett
onestep-I don’t feel traumatized. It will come out soon. I may be leaving for 3 months to work out of state so it may come out before then. Then I can leave for a bit and hopefully get over it in different surroundings.
MoonDancer
1steprs – I think everybody should have the right to get a divorce, gay people should suffer just like the straights….If gay marriage was legal in oklahomophobia I would of prolly married the piece of shit and he would of gotten everything and I would be toasting frogs under a bridge….
The ONLY reason people should get marrried is to have children, str8 or gay,,,
MoonDancer
Lizzy – Have you ever googled LOVE ADDICTION?
skylar
I’m against marriage myself. Too many ways to abuse it because it’s usually done while in a state of temporary insanity brought on by hormones. Instead we should substitute a legal partnership contract drawn up by teams of attorneys. That way the marriage rules are set in stone before you sign away your life and you have teams of advisors looking out for you while you are in the state of temporary insanity. Really good teams of lawyers would earn more money when they get a rep for protecting their clients from stupid marriages. This way when a man turns out to have madonna/whore complex and cheats on you while withholding sex, you can sue him for damages.
My spath refused to marry me for the entire 25 years. He knew marriage and commitment were important to me when I was young. Consequently, he couldn’t take my house in a divorce, so he was going to kill me, since I’d left him everything in my will. He dropped his mask too soon and didn’t get the house. skylar – 1, spath – 0
🙂
ElizabethBennett
Hens-the signs of love addiction was what went on with my spath. I won’t have that in my life again.
Louise
Hens:
You crack me up! I was laughing out loud by myself and that doesn’t happen often…toasting frogs under a bridge!…I am almost in tears here!! You are nuts and I love it!! x
Louise
skylar:
I LOVE your way of thinking about the marriage contract. That would be awesome! You are so right…hormones. That’s what it all comes down to. And temporary insanity says it all.
Interesting…I think my X spath has the Madonna/Whore complex. He even told me that after the kids came along the sex disappeared, but it was a “tell.” He said that SHE didn’t want it anymore after the kids came along, but now things are becoming very clear to me. I think it was HIM who no longer wanted it from her as he now saw her as a mother. He was raised strict Catholic in England and he had issues with his mom. Hmmmmm, very interesting indeed.
Louise
skylar:
It would also explain why he was cheating with everyone he could while not having sex with his wife.
Louise
skylar:
Isn’t it also interesting that these spaths have so many disorders? They never have just one. They have multiple maladies.