Editor’s note: The following article, written by Laura Johnson, is reproduced from SmartDivorce.com. It offers tips that may help people who are divorcing a sociopath.
Even though your state may be a no-fault divorce state, it doesn’t mean that you or your spouse won’t have to answer in some way for any misbehavior during the marriage. It’s what divorce lawyers and courts refer to as marital misconduct and, in certain states, can affect the outcome of the division of property, an award of spousal support, or an award of attorney’s fees for the victim-spouse.
The legal definition of marital misconduct is any conduct that undermines the marital relationship. It becomes a factor in a divorce when the offender-spouse’s behavior forces the victim-spouse to assume extra burdens in the marriage. It isn’t meant to punish the offender-spouse or award him or her an inadequate amount of property or income, but to fairly compensate the victim-spouse.
The rationale behind this theory is that the victim-spouse is compelled to contribute more to the marriage because of the offender-spouse’s misconduct, therefore he or she is entitled to have the offender-spouse’s behavior taken into consideration when property or income are divided. Marital misconduct can be disregarded if both spouses are guilty of marital misconduct. In some states, marital misconduct is specifically disregarded as a matter of law.
In those states where misconduct is a factor, there are several broad categories of behavior that might be classified as marital misconduct. They are:
- habitual drunkenness or addiction,
- adultery,
- domestic violence,
- cruel and abusive behavior, or
- economic fault.
Once the offender-spouse’s behavior has reached the level of marital misconduct, it is the court’s responsibility to determine just how much weight to give to it in each specific situation. Some of the considerations the court looks at when deciding this issue are:
- the length of the marriage,
- the character of the misconduct,
- the time period during the marriage when the misconduct occurred, and
- the frequency of the conduct and whether it was continual.
Certain types of marital misconduct may have more of an impact upon a court’s decision-making than others. For example, cruelty or domestic violence might not be a relevant or appropriate consideration for making an equitable division of property because this type of misbehavior typically isn’t relevant to the acquisition of marital property. The same cannot be said for economic fault, adultery or an addiction, all of which can directly influence a couple’s property.
There are several types of economic fault. They are:
- dissipation of assets,
- hiding assets,
- diverting marital or community income to pay for an addiction,
- spending marital or community income on an extramarital relationship,
- excessive or abnormal spending,
- destruction of property,
- the fraudulent sale or conveyance of property, and
- any other unfair conduct that prevents the court from making an equitable division of property.
Some divorcing spouses believe that once they are separated and a divorce filed that marital misconduct, especially adultery or economic fault, has no effect on the outcome in a divorce. That isn’t actually the case. Each divorce is very fact specific and the same logic about the impact of marital misconduct on the division of property applies whether it occurred prior to the separation or during the pendency of a divorce. This is particularly true for economic misconduct.
There are some states that have statutes that specifically permit a court to award a disproportionate or lesser share of property to an offender-spouse, particularly if the misconduct can be classified as economic. The facts of each particular divorce play a heavy role in how the court applies the law.
In cases that involve the dissipation, hiding or destruction of assets, the excessive or abnormal spending of income, or the fraudulent conveyance of assets the court can’t increase the size of the marital or community estate that actually exists. However, it can order a disparate division of the existing and known property to reimburse the victim-spouse for his or her loss in the couple’s estate.
In addition to having a possible effect on the division of property, marital misconduct may also have an effect on the amount of spousal support an ex-spouse may receive provided he or she qualifies for such support. This can work both ways. If the spouse who may be entitled to receive support is guilty of the misconduct, his or her receipt of support may be in jeopardy depending upon the nature and level of the misconduct. On the other hand, a paying spouse might have to pay more, especially if his or her behavior caused the victim-spouse to give up or reduce the ability to earn income.
The following states take marital fault into consideration when determining an award of spousal support: Alabama, Arizona, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia and Wyoming. (Source: American Bar Association, Family Law Quarterly, Winter 1998, Tables Summarizing the Law in Fifty States)
The following states take marital misconduct, especially economic fault, into consideration when dividing marital or community property or in reimbursing the marital or community estate: Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia and Wisconsin. (Source: American Bar Association, Family Law Quarterly, Winter 1998, Tables Summarizing the Law in Fifty States).
Happy Easter to all! Its absolutely gorgeous out!
Easter is a time of NEW beginnings! So…we are all going to have a happy spring and summer!
We are all survivors….and our efforts will be rewarded!
Got home from Brooklyn at 2:30am. Smooth sailing…the weekend went well…met some wonderful NYU students! My daughter loved the “film people” and it was so good to get out and meet students from CA, IL, Brazil, Montana, Arizona!
They were so great..the whole crew. I bonded with them in the two days and had tears in my eyes to leave them. We talked alot and I educated them about people and relationships.
ALL but one, came from divorced homes!! And, most were divorced when the kids were young! I was really surprised because these students were wonderful kids and going to a very good school! (I always felt bad that my girls grew up in a single parent household…)
So, my oldest daughter is seriously considering going to this school someday. She wants to get into theatre/flimmaking…etc..
It was an adventure and I realized what a BIG world there is out there…May even be considering a move back up north Jersey to be closer to the city!!
Lots to think about….
Have a great day everyone!
tobe-I’m glad you’re back. Happy Easter. It’s beautiful here in NOLA too. I hope to get in a nice work. Atkin’s Diet tomorrow. I just came from the grocery. Getting serious about the workouts. My 10K for the police is in October and I want to run the WHOLE thing this time, instead of walking half.
LOL…Erin…serious Atkins for me to and workout starting tomorrow!
Can’t do it today…
Wow..10K!!! You can do it!
I can walk that…but thats about it…maybe.
I had trouble walking up to the fourth floor in Brooklyn..
Torn miniscus in both knees!!!
But, I’m holding up!
Gotta decided if we should move back up north to my old stomping ground. Its so pretty here….but, gotta do the pros and cons. Alot of limboland still..with the house and all…
Oh, well..whatever is meant to be…will be.
Taking things one day at a time…
Things always work out….just keeping the FAITH.
Have a great day. RELAX..
tobe-thanks girl-have a great day! I need to wash my truck-it’s covered with green pollen!
Dear Henry,
Hope the church roof doesn’t fall in on your head, but seems to me that your PRAYER WAS ANSWERED and you got rid of the scumbag! Sounds good to me!
Nice here today but a bit overcast, and that’s okay, no rain forecast! Opened all the windows and doors, company left and just kicking back. No kiddies to hide the eggs for, but if I see that stinking chocolate laying rabbit I’ll get my shotgun!
You guys have a wonderful day!
Rosa Good luck out there in the jungle!
You say:
I have replaced the rose-colored glasses with a magnifying glass and pepper spray.
Hee hee that’s so funny. I have had a few dates since the P (all from the internet) and I had very carefully lined up the meetings in neutral venues, no dropping me home or collecting me…I get there myself and vanish afterwards if needs be.
Well they only have to be nervous and look sideways to be sprayed with the pepper spray. I just play games back and wiggle out of next meeting feeling ugh…why? because I DO NOT TRUST A SINGLE ONE OF EM. and I CAN SMELL RATS EVERYWHERE
I have stopped dating for oh about 5 months now as some healing needs to occur first. Its sad because I think now that i’m bulding up enough strength to HANDLE ANOTHER P and until I do that I will not be falling in love….”falling” for rosecolored bullshit…..load up the peppercan and spray em to hell…..
Ox- that’s why I couldnt even consider using a gun. I’d be a serial killer!
(JOKE)
Rosa
Agree with what you say:
I like strong, powerful men who take charge.
Some call that the sociopath type”.but I don’t want a sociopath.
I refuse to believe that every strong, take-charge kind of guy that I meet is going to be a socio.
I am the same! but it’s a thin line….how do you know, how do you know…I was fooled before by a sleazy psychopath who’s to say the next one won’t be WORSE
I am seeking your assistance. I am living in California, desperately needing to finalize my divorce from a sociopath after 28, soon to be 29 years of marriage. Also, need some direction in filing a legal malpractice case before the statute of limitations arrives.
The attorney I was recommended to for my divorce failed to file all the documents I provided them with the court within a timely manner. In 2008 I was advised by another family law attorney, the statute for legal malpractice in the state of California is four years. I do not know if that is still the current limit or the statute of limitations is based upon whichever statute was in affect at the time of the offense.
Please does anyone know/able to advise/suggest where to start regarding the following matters:
• One; Know of any one in East Contra Costa County doing pro-bono or barter Family Law work? I must get divorced from this man ASAP. I am sincerely concerned for my well being and the CA courts really don’t “get it” and could care less.
• Two; How can I find out more about Legal Malpractice in California and speak with someone who will help me go forward with this? No one should be ripped off this way, ever.
Thank you,
Me2…Still Muddling Through the Aftermath and Looking to a brighter future.
Me2:
There is a process you must follow, as in everything.
You need to check with the Ca. State Bar.
here is the website link.
http://www.calbar.ca.gov/state/calbar/calbar_generic.jsp?cid=10179&id=1144
Its hard to offer you any suggestions not knowing your current legal situation/standings.
I would highly suggest, if a divorce is as important as you write…..then get on it yourself!
There is an immense amount of information on the internet……know the laws, know the rules, find legal aid and DO IT!
There is a lot of Domestic V. shelters, county legal aid clinics, lawyer in the library programs etc….to guide you filling out documents.
SEEK OUT THOSE agencies……
Pro-bono is hard to come by these days….but they are still out there……if you are an abused woman, or hispanic….I found it easier to get help……(I got the door slammed in my face…so expect it).
First thing is getting a divorce…….THAT”S YOUR PRIORITY…..
I believe you won’t be able to get an attoreny with a ten foot pole if they know you have a claim filed……THEY don’t want to be the next claim.
Concentrate on that!!!
Get on the web…..find your resources……educate yourself on the process and get on it.
I have found: We walk this earth with only our shadows……..
We have to be self suffiecient…..even if we DO have an attorney……we must guide and steer our own case….OR we get lost and set aside…..I think you have learned this lesson.
Anyways…..good luck with your process……and Welcome to LF.
Me2:
Divorce:
Bay Area Legal Aid
405 14th Street, 9th Floor
Oakland, CA
(510) 663-4744
——————————
Bay Area Legal Aid, Contra Costa County
Address 1025 Macdonald Avenue
Richmond, CA 94801
Voice (510) 233-9954
Fax (510) 236-6846
Email info@baylegal.org
Web http://www.baylegal.org