Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I’ve written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that’s our goal.
That’s because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It’s as easy to do as it’s wrong.
And so, most sociopaths aren’t really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others’ lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don’t are often finding trouble in other areas, exercising poor judgement all over the map, squandering friendships, family, and all sorts of meaningful opportunities.
By most standards of a successful life, sociopaths live lives of abject failure, accomplishing little more, at the end of the day, than having produced plenty of havoc and pain. None of this indicates that, as a group, sociopaths are smart.
Sometimes the media sensationalizes the sociopath as the dark, brilliantly predatory monster, especially in classic cases of psychopaths like Ted Bundy. But Ted Bundy wasn’t so smart. In the end, he was nothing but a vicious, sadistic murderer who managed to lure young, naïve girls sufficiently into his proximity to then viciously murder them.
How much of an accomplishment was this? To be able to lure naïve girls near enough to his car to then kidnap and kill them? Otherwise, OJ Simpson style, Bundy was ambushing dormitories at night and butchering innocent, sleeping college kids. Not exactly a genius, or courageous guy, at work here. Just a perverse, murderously violent, cowardly man.
Sure, Bundy was reputedly charming and articulate (video of him bears this out). But this didn’t make him “smart.” He was, clearly, adept at “masking” himself. But again, effective maskers aren’t smart; they’re just good maskers. And nonsociopaths routinely are good maskers.
Good masking, good self-disguising is a type of social skill, and not the purview of sociopaths exclusively. Also, many sociopaths are terrible maskers, just as many nonsociopaths are.
My point is that the “mask” is not an indication of “smartness.” It’s merely the case that some sociopaths, and some nonsociopaths, can mask aspects of themselves and their agendas effectively; but bear in mind, just as many do this very poorly.
In the end, sociopaths, as a group, have a poor track record of living effective lives. Rather, they live disruptive, unsatisfying lives”¦fraught with pathological attitudes and empathic deficits that bring misery to others and, correspondingly, much trouble and, at best, empty satisfaction, to themselves.
Sociopaths simply are not successful people. They may (or may not) skate along under the radar for some stretch of time, but this is not a “game” that smart people play, and that smart people get off on.
Only dumb people play this game. Only really dumb people live this way. Only really really dumb people derive satisfaction, for however long they can swing it, from pulling the wool over others’ eyes.
It’s just no great shakes to do this, and it doesn’t make you smart.
Steve,
Again, your article is a good one! I’ve had similar thoughts about the sociopath that I know, thinking that he’s not the brightest light bulb in the pack, being extremely frustrated by this fact. I dislike talking to him because he lacks common sense and we end up talking in circles. Life is too short for the nonsense that he mixes up in life, wanting to be finished with all of it, period.
Good point, Steve, in that the “smart” (as judged by IQ points) or “dumb” (same ruler) isn’t something that psychopaths are any more or less blessed or cursed with than the rest of humanity. They are just ONE cross section of humanity…some smart ones and some not so smart—however, even if they are IQ SMART, their life styles are PRETTY DUMB and UNSUCCESSFUL much of the time. My own P son is an example. He scores in IQ in the 99th percentile for “smart” but on a LIFE SUCCESS SCALE he scores a 99.9th percentile in the LOSER CLASS…because no matter what his IQ is, his “success” rate, even as a criminal, has been a BIG FAT GOOSE EGG–ZERO! He’s been caught and arrested for nearly every crime he ever committed. How is that for a FAIL rate?
Other people that I fully believe “qualify” as full-blown psychopaths (or at least VERY high in psychopathic traits) who are smart and slick are the ones that are talked about in “Snakes in Suits, When Psychopaths go to work.” Some of those men and women are very “successful” in terms of money, status, education, position and power—Bernie Madoff is a perfect example I think of this kind of person. Smart, and slick at masking their conning behavior.
Unfortunately, we only see the ones like Madoff who ultimately FAIL in their cons—many others simply slip under the radar and continue their conning the entirety of their lives. Witsend talked about her father, as an example. He was an abusive beastly alcoholic to his family yet at his funeral his co-workers talked about the “Wonderful” man that he had presented to them at work.
It sort of made me think of the phrase someone posted here a pretty good while back (not sure who posted it) “He was such a NICE GUY, WHEN HE WASN’T ROBBING BANKS.” Sort of like Ted Bundy, such a NICE GUY when he wasn’t raping and murdering people.
Yes, we are easily convinced someone is a “nice guy” and as Cordelia Fine, PhD said in her book “A Mind of Its Own, How Your Brain Distorts and Deceives, ” she defines our “vain brain” as like a “smart lawyer searching for evidence to support our case rather than a jury searching for the truth.” then goes on to say “memory is often the overzealous secretary who assists in the process by hiding or destroying files that harbor unwanted information.” “evidence that supports your case is quickly accepted, and the legal assistants are sent out to find more of the same.” “The case is soon won. A victory for justice and truth, you think, conveniently ignoring the fact that yours was the only lawyer in the courtroom.”
In other words, we believe what we want to believe and stack the “evidence’ to that end.
Dr. Fine also has a great sense o f humor I think too…in the same chapter as the above she says “There is in fact a catagory of people who get unusually close to the truth about themselves and the world. Their self-perceptions are more balanced, they assign responsibility for success and failure more evenhandedly, and their predictions for the future are more realistic. These people are living testimony to the dangers of self knowledge. THEY ARE THE CLINICALLY DEPRESSED.” (Emphasis mine) LOL ROTFLMAO
Ox,
It like this observation of yours. Yeah the supporters of the psychopaths are more numerous and therefore much more dangerous than the 1% of psychopaths.
Steve
excellent points. I used to like making similar points to my ExP, to his face and in emails. It was very satisfying to explain his PD to him with an air of concern. Of course this was in response to his comments insinuating that I was suffering from a mental problem. Once it was clear to him that I had him figured out, he slithered away.
Sky, they don’t all “go away” when we let them know we have them figured out…some of them attack all out, coming at us with fangs and claws, out to destroy us entirely.
Ox,
I agree with that.
Sky, I HOPE for a slithering away 🙂
I know a lot here is said about they like to taunt former victims.
THAT I don’t get. Particularly when they have one “good” one or several on the hook presently.
I just hope he gets preoccupied enough in another triangulation that the thought of me is booooooooooooooooring!! 🙂
And then at the same time, I feel SO bad for anyone that crosses his path.
UGH!
LL
Yes Oxy he did keep coming. And I kept gray rock showing no emotion except concern for him. I explained how each of his behaviors was infantile. He kept at it but I psychoanalyzed and dissected each word until even he began to question his motives. Eventually he saw that he couldn’t get a word in edgewise that I didn’t turn around as proof of his psychopathy.
that’s very demoralizing to a psychopath. 🙂
I’m sure he still plots against me but at least he did slither away for now.
LL
I read somewhere and I believe it’s true that Most people would rather be thought of as evil rather than stupid.
You can tell someone that his behavior is evil and that will not change him. But if you tell him he’s foolish he will change his behavior. nobody likes to look foolish.
That’s what I like about this article. Steve makes it clear that sociopaths are foolish.
I’m not meaning to say that he changed but he stopped bothering me for now.
Sky,
I understand. I did that to my spath too. Too much awareness to where the games didn’t work anymore. Maybe that’s another thing about NC that’s so great too. I believe he thinks I know, cuz I said I know and I wasn’t going to let it go.
He didn’t like that too much.
LL
“My point is that the “mask” is not an indication of “smartness.” It’s merely the case that some sociopaths, and some nonsociopaths, can mask aspects of themselves and their agendas effectively; but bear in mind, just as many do this very poorly.”
I suspected my x-spath was hiding something but my goodness gave him the benefit of the doubt.
However, online, either by design or stupidity, he does not cover his tracks well. He uses the same obscure screen name for both dating and porn websites. In addition, it is quite easy from one to learn his full real name.