How to Eat an Entire Cow in Ten Minutes

By Ox Drover

If I told you that you had to eat an entire cow, do you think you could do it? How about if I told you that you had to eat an entire cow in only ten minutes? Do you think you could do it? “Holy cow! I can’t do that!” you might say.

Well, I think we all have our personal “cows” that we try to eat. Big jobs or big projects that we look at and say “Noooooo way, I can’t eat all of that!” So having seen this particular “cow” as too big to swallow in one bite, we never even attempt to eat it. We just let it sit there in the middle of our lives, using up our resources, taking up space, and growing bigger by the day! Every time we look at this “pet cow,” it is bigger and bigger and more impossible to swallow in one bite. Its horns grow longer and it gets a worse and worse attitude toward us and we begin to fear it more. Maybe even when people come over to visit and they see our “cow,” they say something like, “What is a big cow doing in your living room?” We may even reply, “What cow? I don’t have a cow.”

If, however, we look at the reality of this “cow—”or any other big “cow—”things are a bit different. If you stop to think, a McDonald’s hamburger is a “quarter pounder” and four quarter pounders equals one pound of beef. Since an average-sized cow will produce about 300 pounds of boneless hamburger/beef, then one cow is equal to 1,200 McDonald’s Quarter Pounders. So you have more than likely eaten more than one cow in your lifetime already! One bite at a time.

I can remember looking at lots of things that seemed like such big projects, big “cows,” that I just didn’t think I could tackle them at all. If you break these big projects down to bite sized pieces though,  then you can eat them in 10 minutes—10 minutes at a time.

Let’s say the “big cow” is cleaning out your garage, which is stuffed to the rafters and you don’t even know where to start. Spend 10 minutes working on it today. Just 10 minutes! Then the next day, another 10 minutes. Small bites of a big cow will eventually get the job done.

When we start to look at all the work we need to do to finish the “big project” of our own healing after the complete devastation of the relationship with the psychopath, sometimes we feel like we have, I think, a whole herd of “cows” in our lives that we have to contend with. We may feel like we are overwhelmed by such a mountain of “male bovine excrement” as well, that seems to be piling up higher and higher each day. There are always the everyday projects of work, housekeeping, children, pets, community and other things that take our energy, so that we seem to have little or no energy left for dealing with sweeping out the bovine excrement. Even thinking about eating our way out of the problem doesn’t seem possible because we can’ swallow it all at once.

Changing our expectations from eating the cow in one bite, to eating the cow one bite at a time works. So start breaking your expectations down to smaller doses of things you can swallow! Then just keep on chewing!

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Thanks a bunch LL


nolarn, Are there others before you who went through the same thing? If so maybe you could join forces.

I’ve known 2 people who had something very similar happen to them. It affected them for years and years and pretty much ruined their lives. They never fought back, so I totally support you fighting for your career. These people have already taken so much of your life. You need to take it back!


I don’t know of anyone else. They think they can get away with it because no one stands up to them. They don’t get to just do this to me and get away with it. You just have no idea. The management and HR are trying to cover up their incompetence. They never gave me a copy of my performance evaluation that was done in January. It was good, btw, a month before all this happened. I asked for it when I was terminated and they refused to give it to me. That’s not even legal.

super chic

nolarn, just wanted to say: LUV YA!!! xoxoxo
gotta go, my sister is coming over….. bye for now!


Thanks Shabby-talk to ya later!


Nolarn, you have the law on your side. I think these creeps messed with the wrong person! I support you 100%. I also turned in my ex, the spath, to the army. Because of my testimony and that of my friends who met him, he got fried! I’ll bet it’s not even as hard as you think. Narcissists and sociopaths (especially sociopaths) are not always the sharpest tools in the shed.


Hey girlie. I’m late to the blog tonight but just wanted to add my 2.
Document Document Document. If you kept ajournal, if you can go through these posts and see where you’ve reported incidents, proof of dates/ people/ etc. I KNEW it! I SAID it was a turf war. You affirmed it 9:53 am.
Do your best to set your emotions aside and act like YOU are your own client. What would YOU advise? Sources? State board? ASK who is the best attorney. You may only need a letter, not court time, someone to remind them of their legal obligations… or that they are looking at unlawful firing.
ALSO, what did they fire you for? B/c in ALL my cath lab experience (three labs), we techs gave meds, NOT nurses. I also put in sheaths, balloon pumps, a swan, and pacemaker. And injected dye, and was ACLS. So… most cath labs do NOT follow “nurse” protocols. If they nailed you on that, you only need show “normal practices” for that lab, and that what you did was NORMAL and NOT objected to by the responsible physician (no dr wants to go on record that he has no standing orders but okays whatever is done in his name b/c the staff knows better than HE does.).

I gotta get some sleep but if you see this, hope it helps.


I need a vegan version of this article. Maybe eat a whole corn field in one day?

All jokes aside, for some of us, eating only a plant based diet is one of our most deeply held beliefs. In fact, the P/N/S I was involved in volunteered on his own, not at my request, that he was giving up meat in my honor and that is one of the things that made me trust him, love him, and hop into bed.

HA! On the second time we were together, he ate a huge steak in front of me. The fact that I saw him two more times after that has me shaking my head in disbelief! It was as though he was spitting on my bible. I understand many people eat meat….I did too about 35 years ago……but he knew my deeply held values, made a promise and then violated all that in the grossest way possible.

They always push your boundaries, break their promises, and then sit back to observe you struggle to make sense of it, watch as you struggle to work it around in your mind that they are still the wonderful person you thought they were, and they enjoy every minute of it. Claudia’s book The Seducer does a great job of illustrating that.

Ox Drover

Dear Neveragain,

I am assuming that on the second time you were together (after his promise to not eat meat again) he ate the steak as a sort of “screw you!” JERK!

You know the FIRST THING I notice about each and every psychopath I know is that they are DISHONEST. Not that in my opinion the eating of the meat was the dishonest part, but the SAYING HE WASN’T going to and then DOING IT! Promise one thing and do another!

PLUS, knowing how you FELT about the meat eating, he was just thumbing his nose at your beliefs. I think you said it right when you said he “spit in the middle of your bible!” WHAT A JERK! I’m glad you are rid of him! TOWANDA for you!!!


Katy-I have all kinds of documentation. I have a police report that was made for a false allegation that was made against me. The HR people are so stupid too because they knew I had the report made and never made any attempt to acknowledge it’s validity. They will be sorry later. I can’t imagine not being able to find an attorney that will be interested in working on it. I have copies of email where I asked for protocols that I needed for the med in question so that I could file a grievance, and they denied me the protocol. They also did not give me a copy of my yearly performance evaluation that I signed in January. My performance evaluation was actually prettty good. I didn’t get dinged for anything. I have an email where I asked for a copy of it and they ignored me. I have documentation that one HR person told me that I was eligible for rehire and one told me that I wasn’t. I also had a job rescinded based on the fact that two of the nurses from my cath lab were employed by the same agency and these two bitches were part of the problem. The agency agreed to look past the termination because of my impeccable references and prior work record in all other hospitals. I will bet you money that they bypassed HR and called one of these two nurses to get dirt on me. Why else would they suddenly tell me that they were no longer interested in me right before I was supposed to start orientation. They had given me a name badge and everything.

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