Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I’ve written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that’s our goal.
That’s because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It’s as easy to do as it’s wrong.
And so, most sociopaths aren’t really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others’ lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don’t are often finding trouble in other areas, exercising poor judgement all over the map, squandering friendships, family, and all sorts of meaningful opportunities.
By most standards of a successful life, sociopaths live lives of abject failure, accomplishing little more, at the end of the day, than having produced plenty of havoc and pain. None of this indicates that, as a group, sociopaths are smart.
Sometimes the media sensationalizes the sociopath as the dark, brilliantly predatory monster, especially in classic cases of psychopaths like Ted Bundy. But Ted Bundy wasn’t so smart. In the end, he was nothing but a vicious, sadistic murderer who managed to lure young, naïve girls sufficiently into his proximity to then viciously murder them.
How much of an accomplishment was this? To be able to lure naïve girls near enough to his car to then kidnap and kill them? Otherwise, OJ Simpson style, Bundy was ambushing dormitories at night and butchering innocent, sleeping college kids. Not exactly a genius, or courageous guy, at work here. Just a perverse, murderously violent, cowardly man.
Sure, Bundy was reputedly charming and articulate (video of him bears this out). But this didn’t make him “smart.” He was, clearly, adept at “masking” himself. But again, effective maskers aren’t smart; they’re just good maskers. And nonsociopaths routinely are good maskers.
Good masking, good self-disguising is a type of social skill, and not the purview of sociopaths exclusively. Also, many sociopaths are terrible maskers, just as many nonsociopaths are.
My point is that the “mask” is not an indication of “smartness.” It’s merely the case that some sociopaths, and some nonsociopaths, can mask aspects of themselves and their agendas effectively; but bear in mind, just as many do this very poorly.
In the end, sociopaths, as a group, have a poor track record of living effective lives. Rather, they live disruptive, unsatisfying lives”¦fraught with pathological attitudes and empathic deficits that bring misery to others and, correspondingly, much trouble and, at best, empty satisfaction, to themselves.
Sociopaths simply are not successful people. They may (or may not) skate along under the radar for some stretch of time, but this is not a “game” that smart people play, and that smart people get off on.
Only dumb people play this game. Only really dumb people live this way. Only really really dumb people derive satisfaction, for however long they can swing it, from pulling the wool over others’ eyes.
It’s just no great shakes to do this, and it doesn’t make you smart.
one/joy_step_at_a_time –
Hey you. xx. Do you know if Notcrazee is okay?
Yes, Oxy, he is doing it to make me miserable. And it does work. I suffered the pain of growing up in that family, & I dam well deserve to be richly rewarded for it!!
He knows that we have no recourse against him—tho we have all the justification in the world (mismanagement of the assets, neglect of fiduciary duties, etc etc), & attorneys always assure us that we have a great case. But having no money for a retainer makes it hard to get an attorney. Even on contingency, since outright suit against my brother & his own assets & interest in the trust is the only way the atty would be able to get his fee fairly quickly….that is, without having to wait for the sale of the ranch.
And all of that gives my nasty brother no end of glee. I only wish he’d come to his end & go on to his just reward. Soon.
Dear LL,
The answer is YES! I have seen it spread systemically and it result in DEATH! Dental infections are SERIOUS carp! A lot of people do not realize just how serious they can be. No more details, not trying to scare you just make you aware. I think seeing the oral surgeon is a great idea.
Yesme, Yea I know it is frustrating to try to get “justice” when you can’t pay for a lawyer, either that or the cost of an attorney over comes the possible collection of a suit. JUSTICE DELAYED, IS JUSTICE DENIED. Don’ t know who said that first, but it is true none-the-less.
LOL@....... Zim, are we being a bit “spathy” lol! sorry about that.
In answer or response to your post…..I don’t know that it matters the differences between N and S and P??? They’re all TOXIC and personality disordered. I think it just is a matter of degree. I think a malignant Narc, could easily be a spath….and vice versa…I think they overlap somewhat. I think my father was def spath, as was my grandmother, my sis and bro, but I think my mother was N or at least with high traits.
It didn’t make her any less toxic. Just the same toxicity as all the rest.
I”m sorry you lost all of those things to your brothers. It is true that it goes mother to daughter per traditions, however, spath sis got the “mother to daughter” stuff. I got nothing.
So i can’t really say about that, I guess…..
LL
Ox,
I’m gonna see the oral surgeon, but I meant between now and then since no one will touch me with a ten foot POLE! I just stay on my antibiotics and try not to stress right?
LL
LL, Yep, and use the cold pack, it might help with the pain by reducing some of the swelling. I would also suggest that you might eat foods that are not either hot or cold, just middle of the road so you don’t irritate those teeth any. I wouldn’t even brush those teeth or touch them with my tongue if I could help it.
If you start to run a high fever or your jaw outside gets really red or the swelling increases instead of gets smaller, go to the ER or call the surgeon’s office if it is in the day time…or if you have any trouble swallowing or bad head ache gets worse, stiff neck, confusion or any number of “new” or worse symptoms.
Keep your stress as low as possible and REST…let the kids wait on you for a change.
Ox,
Kids are waiting on me! **NICE** 🙂 Wiener and chee wow wow won’t leave my side **WARMTH**…
Alternating ice pack and warm compress. Taking antibiotics faithfully, although I noticed that I haven’t had to take anything stronger than Ibuprofen most of the afternoon, so there just might be progress!! I see my doc tomorrow for medication refills, so I’ll have her check me out further. I don’t have a surgeon to call yet, but been to the ER already. WIll go again if I have too. Learnin self care. Doing GOOOOOOOOOD!!!
All I really need now is SLEEP. I think I’ve slept about six hours total the last three nights with all the pain I’ve been in. 🙁
Really tired.
Thanks for the advice Ox, for free! lol 🙂 Stay safe!
LL
Hey Ox!
Thanks! I’m suprised you remember me, you must have a memory like an elephant!
Like yourself just trucking along, surviving. I get the heebie jeebies even thinking of dating a new guy. But at least not hurting over him anymore.
I’m shopping around for a new lawyer, a proactive one, as the relationship property is still not divided; it’s been 2 years since we split up!
It was shocking to learn that I apparently ’emotionally abused’ his adorable daughters while we were together (my sons half-sisters, who he resembles alot)…I only recall tending to their every need and taking them on outings, getting them into gardening with their own vegie plots etc,while he worked/played sport. Of course they got told off like kids do every now and then..oh well..no good deed goes unpunished, as they say!
I figure there must be other things I am guilty of that I don’t know I did..but I talk to him as little as possible now, and try to keep things very business like.
He lives with his partner and their combined children now, and he makes a fuss of how ‘they’ are a proper family unit and I’m just on my own with our son (we share care). It’s hard not to let it get to me. I saw them together the other day when I dropped my son off to them, and she pulled an expression as if she were the queen and just won lotto!
But overall life is ok I have great freinds and my kids are happy and healthy.
This site has sure taught me alot, not only the articles but wisdom and encouragement gleaned from comments of others who’ve been thru similar.
Rosie McPosie – How could we ever forget you? remember me? henry……:) we (the gang) talk about you often here, thanks for checking in………
Rosie, of course we remember you!
We missed your DJ skills at our late night parties also!
She might feel like a queen right now…
but that won’t last long.
I’m glad to hear you have good peeps around you.