Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I’ve written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that’s our goal.
That’s because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It’s as easy to do as it’s wrong.
And so, most sociopaths aren’t really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others’ lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don’t are often finding trouble in other areas, exercising poor judgement all over the map, squandering friendships, family, and all sorts of meaningful opportunities.
By most standards of a successful life, sociopaths live lives of abject failure, accomplishing little more, at the end of the day, than having produced plenty of havoc and pain. None of this indicates that, as a group, sociopaths are smart.
Sometimes the media sensationalizes the sociopath as the dark, brilliantly predatory monster, especially in classic cases of psychopaths like Ted Bundy. But Ted Bundy wasn’t so smart. In the end, he was nothing but a vicious, sadistic murderer who managed to lure young, naïve girls sufficiently into his proximity to then viciously murder them.
How much of an accomplishment was this? To be able to lure naïve girls near enough to his car to then kidnap and kill them? Otherwise, OJ Simpson style, Bundy was ambushing dormitories at night and butchering innocent, sleeping college kids. Not exactly a genius, or courageous guy, at work here. Just a perverse, murderously violent, cowardly man.
Sure, Bundy was reputedly charming and articulate (video of him bears this out). But this didn’t make him “smart.” He was, clearly, adept at “masking” himself. But again, effective maskers aren’t smart; they’re just good maskers. And nonsociopaths routinely are good maskers.
Good masking, good self-disguising is a type of social skill, and not the purview of sociopaths exclusively. Also, many sociopaths are terrible maskers, just as many nonsociopaths are.
My point is that the “mask” is not an indication of “smartness.” It’s merely the case that some sociopaths, and some nonsociopaths, can mask aspects of themselves and their agendas effectively; but bear in mind, just as many do this very poorly.
In the end, sociopaths, as a group, have a poor track record of living effective lives. Rather, they live disruptive, unsatisfying lives”¦fraught with pathological attitudes and empathic deficits that bring misery to others and, correspondingly, much trouble and, at best, empty satisfaction, to themselves.
Sociopaths simply are not successful people. They may (or may not) skate along under the radar for some stretch of time, but this is not a “game” that smart people play, and that smart people get off on.
Only dumb people play this game. Only really dumb people live this way. Only really really dumb people derive satisfaction, for however long they can swing it, from pulling the wool over others’ eyes.
It’s just no great shakes to do this, and it doesn’t make you smart.
hens
My daughter did that for a few seconds after reading it off a dachsy site.
I’m asking my daughter to find a place for her dog for awhile NOW, because MY dog is not going anywhere 🙂
The chee wow wow has to go!!
good deal – gnite ev1
Nite, Hens!
rest well and hug the wieners for me!
XXOO
skylar –
“my spath was ugly as sin, so what attracted me?
Each spath targets his victims according to their needs. My need to save him, I guess, ”
Mine too. The only truly gross-looking man I’ve ever been with. He was soooooooooooo smooth though – so attentive at first, so love-bomby and such pitiful tales of woe and redemption that I just HAD to give him a chance – didn’t I?
I even used to tell him how handsome he looked in case he was self-conscious about how awful his face was (and because when you love someone, they DO look good to you…) I would say things like, “I love your face”….and he would smile.
QUICK!!!!!!!!!!! Somebody bring me a BIG BIG bucket because I’m going to heave….
I’m going to google a chiwiener!
oh, they’re called chiweenies!
LL,
I’m SO sorry to hear about your ear infection and abcessed teeth! I’ve had both in the past, though not at the same time, and cannot even imagine the pain. I wonder if you need someone more than a dentist, an oral surgion maybe, who could give you general anesthesia to remove the teeth or something like that. I have never heard of a dentist waiting to remove abcessed teeth. When I had my last root canal, the novacaine shots didn’t work well. I was in pain in the dentist office but still happy to be done with it. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts! I also remember that amoxycillin didn’t work for my last ear infection. You may need something stronger. There’s one (I think it begins with a Z) that will knock it out in a day or two.
When you get off the pain meds and antibiotics, your body will be run down from the stress hormones and the drugs. If you are in the position to afford these things, I highly recommend accupuncture to rebalance your organs and a round of probiotics to replenish the good bacteria killed by the antibiotics. Both of these will help your immune system. If you haven’t had accupuncture, it is also very relaxing, contrary to how it sounds.
Your reminded me of one of the worst weekends of my life when I had an abcessed tooth, came down with a cold, and just got my period – all on Friday night. No dentist all weekend. No pain meds. So I just went through the weekend in pain. Ugh.
BTW, on your request, I asked Donna to send you my email address. No pressure one way or the other to write, though. 🙂
Shabby,
I did ask donna to pass on my email to you but she hasn’t yet, I guess. I’m thinking about setting up a temp email address to do all the email exchanges we want to do without having to wait for donna…
When we are done with the exchanges, we can just delet it.
ShabbyC, my neighbor who petsits for me has a chiweenie. He is the most precious adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life. He is a total lover. He wants to be held and cuddled constantly, by anyone.
Hens, Thanks for explaining this and for not holding my initial reaction against me. My psychopath is always extremely arrogant and cocky (despite being a total loser). So, once I woke up from the psychopathic spell and saw through his lies and manipulation (through therapy), it was easy to have only contempt for him. But your ex psychopath seems to have done the pity play, and since you’re such a nice and caring person, it’s harder to reject someone who at least acts humble and is in need.
I wish there were a scholarship for sociopath survivors–
I have lost so much of my life to one–
and never would have left school if he had not dropped in my life at the age of 19.
He was my biological father so I trusted he had my best interest and meeting him for the first time was a shock. God was I wrong. Blood meant nothing to him.