Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I’ve written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that’s our goal.
That’s because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It’s as easy to do as it’s wrong.
And so, most sociopaths aren’t really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others’ lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don’t are often finding trouble in other areas, exercising poor judgement all over the map, squandering friendships, family, and all sorts of meaningful opportunities.
By most standards of a successful life, sociopaths live lives of abject failure, accomplishing little more, at the end of the day, than having produced plenty of havoc and pain. None of this indicates that, as a group, sociopaths are smart.
Sometimes the media sensationalizes the sociopath as the dark, brilliantly predatory monster, especially in classic cases of psychopaths like Ted Bundy. But Ted Bundy wasn’t so smart. In the end, he was nothing but a vicious, sadistic murderer who managed to lure young, naïve girls sufficiently into his proximity to then viciously murder them.
How much of an accomplishment was this? To be able to lure naïve girls near enough to his car to then kidnap and kill them? Otherwise, OJ Simpson style, Bundy was ambushing dormitories at night and butchering innocent, sleeping college kids. Not exactly a genius, or courageous guy, at work here. Just a perverse, murderously violent, cowardly man.
Sure, Bundy was reputedly charming and articulate (video of him bears this out). But this didn’t make him “smart.” He was, clearly, adept at “masking” himself. But again, effective maskers aren’t smart; they’re just good maskers. And nonsociopaths routinely are good maskers.
Good masking, good self-disguising is a type of social skill, and not the purview of sociopaths exclusively. Also, many sociopaths are terrible maskers, just as many nonsociopaths are.
My point is that the “mask” is not an indication of “smartness.” It’s merely the case that some sociopaths, and some nonsociopaths, can mask aspects of themselves and their agendas effectively; but bear in mind, just as many do this very poorly.
In the end, sociopaths, as a group, have a poor track record of living effective lives. Rather, they live disruptive, unsatisfying lives”¦fraught with pathological attitudes and empathic deficits that bring misery to others and, correspondingly, much trouble and, at best, empty satisfaction, to themselves.
Sociopaths simply are not successful people. They may (or may not) skate along under the radar for some stretch of time, but this is not a “game” that smart people play, and that smart people get off on.
Only dumb people play this game. Only really dumb people live this way. Only really really dumb people derive satisfaction, for however long they can swing it, from pulling the wool over others’ eyes.
It’s just no great shakes to do this, and it doesn’t make you smart.
BTW Hens – Charlie Sheen? Sheeeeesh!!!!! Get over yourself boy! That guy is either a lunatic or a superspath and I’M SORRY but you just don’t strike me as being up there with the likes of him…. 🙂
Hens,
HUH????
Do you need another wiener? You can have mine.
I don’t understand your train of thought either? Well, you’re NOT doing a pity ploy, so the idea, EVEN REMOTEY, that you’re spath is a no no. Pity PARTY? Um, okay….don’t we ALL have pity parties here from time to time?
Maybe there is something to what you say tho, Hens. Maybe it’s time to venture out a bit more? Connect a little bit with the outside world?
This place is AWESOME!!! BUT, I think it’s healthy if you have outside influences too, not so much isolation?
Is that maybe where you’re at? Or thinkin?
You are loved here. So that’s not a worry, and while I know you know that, there IS something to be said too, for real up close and personal human contact. I couldn’t have just LF to find warm fuzzies 🙂
HUGS!!!
Cheer up!
LL
Hens-you are no Charlie Sheen buddy!
Star,
Really, it’s almost startling to share about spaths and even those that think they know about narcissists, aren’t familiar with spaths….even though a malignant narc is much, if not outright spath anyways…but still there is this “school of thought” that they’re somehow just “troubled” and that they can be “rehabilitated” in some way. That is IRRITATING to me. So FAR, I have yet to see ANY Spath “recover” from their spathy ways.
I try not to get into it. I realize that educating someone about spaths helps spread the word, as it were, however, I’m often met with the “you’re a nutjob” look or the “I feel sorry for them anyway” look. It feels defeating. It’s where I have to just trust within myself that my experience was real. The difference when I say I was in an extremely toxic, abusive relationship, versus that I was with a spath, is met COMPLETELY Differently…to THAT people can relate.
LL
aussie – yes I had been to a therapist a few times post spath..but it was because I had been discarded and rejected by spath’s, once they got all I had to give or got bored with me they moved on to someone new or someone with more potential I used to say,all I have to do to lose weight is fall in love because I always pick loser’s and get my heart stomped on, that was post spath, before I learned here that I have a pattern of picking user’s, so yes I am co dependent – on the wierd side – I have been self supporting since I was 14. to this day when I get paid for a job well done I feel like it is charity I am getting and nothing to do with my labor,..
We love you Henry!
Hens,
Was it me? I would hope you would feel comfortable enough to share it with me, if it was?
I have said some so not nice things here in the recent past out of my pain. it doesn’t excuse it, but if I said anything to hurt you, I would want the chance to apologize.
LL
🙂
New winter, I missed your travel post – darn! I have always wanted to go to South Africa. I am particularly interested in the large wildcat sanctuary out there. I’m so envious!
I am not a teacher by trade. But anyone with a 4-year college degree can teach English abroad. If you ever want to do that, just google Oxford College. They have TESL programs going on all the time.
Hens, in this day and age, it’s very commonplace to have part of your life be online. That doesn’t make you a pathetic loser or anything like that. It just makes you human. I belong to this and also a reptile site. Both have become big parts of my life. I also have a job, real friends (even though I am at odds with them at the moment), real activities. For instance, I had a Spanish class tonight. I made some friends in the class and we meet for study lunches on Sundays. I also take salsa lessons, do massages, starting to teach dance lessons, and network with other massage therapists. Sometimes I rely a little too heavily on the internet for my social life, but it is what it is. And for you too, darling, it is what it is. It is neither bad nor good, except that you are in a particularly self-deprecating mood tonight. I am sending you a big hug.