Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I’ve written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that’s our goal.
That’s because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It’s as easy to do as it’s wrong.
And so, most sociopaths aren’t really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others’ lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don’t are often finding trouble in other areas, exercising poor judgement all over the map, squandering friendships, family, and all sorts of meaningful opportunities.
By most standards of a successful life, sociopaths live lives of abject failure, accomplishing little more, at the end of the day, than having produced plenty of havoc and pain. None of this indicates that, as a group, sociopaths are smart.
Sometimes the media sensationalizes the sociopath as the dark, brilliantly predatory monster, especially in classic cases of psychopaths like Ted Bundy. But Ted Bundy wasn’t so smart. In the end, he was nothing but a vicious, sadistic murderer who managed to lure young, naïve girls sufficiently into his proximity to then viciously murder them.
How much of an accomplishment was this? To be able to lure naïve girls near enough to his car to then kidnap and kill them? Otherwise, OJ Simpson style, Bundy was ambushing dormitories at night and butchering innocent, sleeping college kids. Not exactly a genius, or courageous guy, at work here. Just a perverse, murderously violent, cowardly man.
Sure, Bundy was reputedly charming and articulate (video of him bears this out). But this didn’t make him “smart.” He was, clearly, adept at “masking” himself. But again, effective maskers aren’t smart; they’re just good maskers. And nonsociopaths routinely are good maskers.
Good masking, good self-disguising is a type of social skill, and not the purview of sociopaths exclusively. Also, many sociopaths are terrible maskers, just as many nonsociopaths are.
My point is that the “mask” is not an indication of “smartness.” It’s merely the case that some sociopaths, and some nonsociopaths, can mask aspects of themselves and their agendas effectively; but bear in mind, just as many do this very poorly.
In the end, sociopaths, as a group, have a poor track record of living effective lives. Rather, they live disruptive, unsatisfying lives”¦fraught with pathological attitudes and empathic deficits that bring misery to others and, correspondingly, much trouble and, at best, empty satisfaction, to themselves.
Sociopaths simply are not successful people. They may (or may not) skate along under the radar for some stretch of time, but this is not a “game” that smart people play, and that smart people get off on.
Only dumb people play this game. Only really dumb people live this way. Only really really dumb people derive satisfaction, for however long they can swing it, from pulling the wool over others’ eyes.
It’s just no great shakes to do this, and it doesn’t make you smart.
I know it Skylar. This is the scaring fact: they’re everywhere and have much influence on others.
This doctor has blamed on me because of this reason, because getting obsessed won’t change that fact and she as a doctor and as a rather feminist woman wants first women well-being than starting an obsessive crusade against social kamikazes.
She hasn’t at all denied they exist, in fact she has became very serious when i’ve mentioned i had left the german i had already mentioned to her time ago because i had discovered he’s an integrated psychopath. And about the teacher she says to ignore him, being strong, and mind just my business.
I just found this and want to share. It’s for everybody here, but especially Sky and LL…..and me. 🙂
Sky, what is the right way to post a link? Do you include the http:// or not?
elishasmantlefreeyellow.comprayertrauma.htm
Again, hope that’s right.
“She also uses this certain “cool” username for everything she does online, from her e-mail account to her numerous dating websites to craig’s list ads and newspaper ads ”“ everything. All you have to do is google this name and page after page pops up.
NOW, here is what has always puzzled me ”“ is she just that DUMB (even her criminal activity is easily traced) ”“ or ”“ does she want to get “discovered”. ”
Exactly the same with my x-spath. I could never understand why he would use “innocent” sounding usernames on dating websites that when you google are also used on porn websites.
Maybe it is the “telling” thing, as the message I got was that he was not only far from innocent, but HIV+.
Kim,
thanks for the link.
The easiest way to copy and paste a link is to LEFT click on the browser’s URL, to select the URL. Then RIGHT click and select “copy” from the drop down box.
Then you can paste it whereever you want.
The URL elishasmantlefreeyellow.com doesn’t seem to work.
Sorry Sky, but I am such a technoilliterate that I don’t know what left click and right click means.
I know how to do the ctrl c and ctrl v thing but when I try that with this computer I get something else my daughter or her husband has tried to link. Don’t know how to fix that either.
What do you think is wrong with the link as I posted it above? Do I need the http://www. stuff?
http://elishasmantlefreeyellow.comprayertrauma.htm
Ithink I did it> 🙂
http://elishasmantle.com/prayertrauma.htm
I don’t know why there was “freeyellow” in your link, but maybe this is it?
Let me please explain Left and Right Click.
Do you have a mouse with 2 buttons? the left button is the one you most often use. (if you are right handed you are using your fore-finger to click) The right button (you click with your middle finger) gives you some drop-down options like copy and paste.
I also prefer control-v and -c. For that you would simply LEFT click the URL above the browser window and it turns blue. Now use your key board to control-V (copy) and control-C (paste)
Yes Sky, Yours is right.
Kim,
that’s a beautiful prayer. So appropriate. Thanks for that. It also reminded me of the prayers to Saint Michael which I found so effective in dealing with the shock of the exPath. I think I need those prayers again today in dealing with all the other spaths in my life.
These prayers are prayers for humility which is the ultimate protection against spaths.