Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I’ve written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that’s our goal.
That’s because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It’s as easy to do as it’s wrong.
And so, most sociopaths aren’t really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others’ lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don’t are often finding trouble in other areas, exercising poor judgement all over the map, squandering friendships, family, and all sorts of meaningful opportunities.
By most standards of a successful life, sociopaths live lives of abject failure, accomplishing little more, at the end of the day, than having produced plenty of havoc and pain. None of this indicates that, as a group, sociopaths are smart.
Sometimes the media sensationalizes the sociopath as the dark, brilliantly predatory monster, especially in classic cases of psychopaths like Ted Bundy. But Ted Bundy wasn’t so smart. In the end, he was nothing but a vicious, sadistic murderer who managed to lure young, naïve girls sufficiently into his proximity to then viciously murder them.
How much of an accomplishment was this? To be able to lure naïve girls near enough to his car to then kidnap and kill them? Otherwise, OJ Simpson style, Bundy was ambushing dormitories at night and butchering innocent, sleeping college kids. Not exactly a genius, or courageous guy, at work here. Just a perverse, murderously violent, cowardly man.
Sure, Bundy was reputedly charming and articulate (video of him bears this out). But this didn’t make him “smart.” He was, clearly, adept at “masking” himself. But again, effective maskers aren’t smart; they’re just good maskers. And nonsociopaths routinely are good maskers.
Good masking, good self-disguising is a type of social skill, and not the purview of sociopaths exclusively. Also, many sociopaths are terrible maskers, just as many nonsociopaths are.
My point is that the “mask” is not an indication of “smartness.” It’s merely the case that some sociopaths, and some nonsociopaths, can mask aspects of themselves and their agendas effectively; but bear in mind, just as many do this very poorly.
In the end, sociopaths, as a group, have a poor track record of living effective lives. Rather, they live disruptive, unsatisfying lives”¦fraught with pathological attitudes and empathic deficits that bring misery to others and, correspondingly, much trouble and, at best, empty satisfaction, to themselves.
Sociopaths simply are not successful people. They may (or may not) skate along under the radar for some stretch of time, but this is not a “game” that smart people play, and that smart people get off on.
Only dumb people play this game. Only really dumb people live this way. Only really really dumb people derive satisfaction, for however long they can swing it, from pulling the wool over others’ eyes.
It’s just no great shakes to do this, and it doesn’t make you smart.
new winter
Removed
skylar
Claudia,
I’m in Washington state but if I ever find myself in Michigan, I’ll certainly look you up!
LL,
going to Long Beach area for a couple of weeks for BF’s business.
BTW, LL, I love ducks too!! In fact, I think it is from part of my childhood programming. I read the book, “Gertie The Duck” when I was 4 or 5. I think it made quite an impression on me.
Witsend,
I know about your son not wanting to live a boring life. You posted it over a year ago. It left me stunned, because I remembered that I had said that myself. That’s why I took an interest in your story and why I thought that maybe I could talk to your son and open his thinking process. He is a narcissist. He is “stuck” in black and white childish thinking. It’s a state of thinking where you think you know everything there is to know. I’m not sure there are words to describe it because it isn’t a lack of imagination so much as it is a type of block in relating to others. I remember clearly being 15 and wondering what it could possibly be like to have a normal life. Then I remember seeing those “normal” people and feeling sorry for them.
I doubt anyone here on LF is normal or boring. Whenever I meet someone who has attracted a P or Ps, I notice that they are extremely interesting or intelligent or just dramatically beautiful. As our newest member, HGG posted, “the only thing that has kept us from being s/p’s is our ability to love. in the triangle of character, we have moral reasoning, ability to love and impulse control.” This is the connection we have to the P’s: we are also drama attractants. That’s why gray rock is so powerful.
I’ll probably never be normal but I do want peace.
Witty, your son may outgrow it. If he could get someone to talk to him about what it’s like to become a slave to drama, it may make a difference. No one wants to be a slave.
Oxy,
my heart ached when you wrote about your son’s bday. I didn’t feel your pain, I never had kids, but I imagine just a tiny bit of what it must feel like. (hugs) Earlier, you posted about the cycle of abuse in your family history. You had told us many times before about your egg-donor, but I had never made the connection between how her mother enabled Uncle Monster and how she expected you to enable your P-son. It’s all there, clear as day. The cycle. The programming. the scandal and the trauma bond. You explained it so clearly when you told of the great-grandmother enabling her husband. It is certainly a twist on familial abuse. Males abuse, females enable. amazing.
super chic
Love you Oxy. xoxoxo
super chic
I guess I’m just dramatically beautiful… hahahahahaha
skylar
SC,
you know tha you are! you’re freakin gorgeous! LOL!
AND you’re interesting AND you’re intelligent.
Plus, I guess I left out, super-duper sweet.
Whoops I think I just love bombed you! Now I feel like a spath! 🙂
super chic
Yeah, I am the bomb!
Better to be love bombed here on LF…
than out in the real world! 😀
hens
Shabbylicious ..your bootyful….
new winter
(((Hens)))
Have a great night!
skylar
Alright Alright Alright, I’ll bite New winter,
I’ll check it out. You better not be a spath cuz I’ll come find you boy! 🙂
Seriously, you are amazing, how do you keep your enthusiasm up like that? I get so depressed thinking about all the evil in the world.
You know, New winter, if you want to make the world a better place, share your optimism. You have a gift.
super chic
xoxoxoHENSxoxoxo