Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I’ve written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that’s our goal.
That’s because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It’s as easy to do as it’s wrong.
And so, most sociopaths aren’t really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others’ lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don’t are often finding trouble in other areas, exercising poor judgement all over the map, squandering friendships, family, and all sorts of meaningful opportunities.
By most standards of a successful life, sociopaths live lives of abject failure, accomplishing little more, at the end of the day, than having produced plenty of havoc and pain. None of this indicates that, as a group, sociopaths are smart.
Sometimes the media sensationalizes the sociopath as the dark, brilliantly predatory monster, especially in classic cases of psychopaths like Ted Bundy. But Ted Bundy wasn’t so smart. In the end, he was nothing but a vicious, sadistic murderer who managed to lure young, naïve girls sufficiently into his proximity to then viciously murder them.
How much of an accomplishment was this? To be able to lure naïve girls near enough to his car to then kidnap and kill them? Otherwise, OJ Simpson style, Bundy was ambushing dormitories at night and butchering innocent, sleeping college kids. Not exactly a genius, or courageous guy, at work here. Just a perverse, murderously violent, cowardly man.
Sure, Bundy was reputedly charming and articulate (video of him bears this out). But this didn’t make him “smart.” He was, clearly, adept at “masking” himself. But again, effective maskers aren’t smart; they’re just good maskers. And nonsociopaths routinely are good maskers.
Good masking, good self-disguising is a type of social skill, and not the purview of sociopaths exclusively. Also, many sociopaths are terrible maskers, just as many nonsociopaths are.
My point is that the “mask” is not an indication of “smartness.” It’s merely the case that some sociopaths, and some nonsociopaths, can mask aspects of themselves and their agendas effectively; but bear in mind, just as many do this very poorly.
In the end, sociopaths, as a group, have a poor track record of living effective lives. Rather, they live disruptive, unsatisfying lives”¦fraught with pathological attitudes and empathic deficits that bring misery to others and, correspondingly, much trouble and, at best, empty satisfaction, to themselves.
Sociopaths simply are not successful people. They may (or may not) skate along under the radar for some stretch of time, but this is not a “game” that smart people play, and that smart people get off on.
Only dumb people play this game. Only really dumb people live this way. Only really really dumb people derive satisfaction, for however long they can swing it, from pulling the wool over others’ eyes.
It’s just no great shakes to do this, and it doesn’t make you smart.
Dear Movingon,
Great!!!! Loved your story of how he looked and the BLUE-BLACK HAIR don’t ya love it!!!! LOL
I have never figured out why people dye their hair that blue/black color, it actually makes them look that much older than even a much lighter shade would. LOL Especially with white roots showing! LOL ROTFLMAO
How they can lie in the face of evidence to the contrary is interesting, and I don’t fully understand it but Dr. Robert Hare said “they learn the words but not the music” and I think that is about as close as you can come to saying what it is.
movingon – it must suck SO badly to be them. I mean really!
I feel some pleasure every time one of them shows what an ass he or she is, in front of the courts. Score one for our team every time their stupid games don’t work. It is such a struggle to expose them, and to be validated as people who know what we are dealing with. I wish you lots of stamina, and much joy in every other area of your life.
Now Oxy – don’t be laughing at that poor spath; he’s not playing with a full deck.
The spath is clearly worried, now he wants to do a ‘deal’ with the schools. Now given he is a spath and everyone knows this ..finally .. so does anyone trust him ..not a bit. So we are all colluding to get our money. So to ensure the spath can’t play us off off each other we tell him nothing ..
Its quite interesting that we now all ‘get’ the spath and after 18 months everyone has had enough of the lies, lies when they don’t need to, stupid stories.
Well now we all have our ‘plans’ firmly in place the spath is going to be well and truly spathed ..otherwise well that has also been planned!!!
Be good everyone ..but be cleverer than the spath!
Movingon, Congratulations AGAIN—it does my heart good to know that somewhere some one is getting it and the Spath is not able to con everyone and get away with their carp! YUK!!! yuk hee hee LOL
As they say in the U.K., What a PLONKER!!{Ass hole!}
Revenge is sweet alright!
Ive just back- spathed my spath daughter, and BOY did it feel good!Shes getting her come uppance! Without much or indeed any help from me!
They are all thumb suckers!{translation needed here!}
Love,
GemXX
Gem, for an old woman you sure know a bunch of dirty words from the UK and down under that I never heard! LOL (((hugs)))
Yea Oxy! And I aint old baby!! way to go!
I was a suppressed teenager who didnt say boo to a goose, and Im entering my second teenagehood!{The BAAAD version!!}
Im making up for living with Narcs and Spaths for over 30 years of my life, LOL!!
LET ER RIP!!! Ive gone thru anger, denial, bargaining, the famous FOG, grief, sadness, rage on and on and on, cycling back and forward. Now Im at a place where I can, hand on heart, say I dont give a flying f–k about my spath former daughters!
Never thought id get to a place where I feel GLEE and TRIUMPH for back spathing older spath D.!!!
Allow me my unchristian moment of” TOWANDA!!– Got you Biatch!!”
Im sure it will pass,-I should nt feel this way but, hey I DO,and you know what? feels F–ing MARVELLOUS!!!
Makes up for 30 years of pain and suffering with these inhuman biatches.Im still loving and kind to every one else in my life that I love and cherish. had to kick some spath friends and family to the kerb, but the TRUE family I have now is PRICELESS!
Had to be honest here, everyone except LF friends would think me INHUMAN and a Bad Mother, but HEY, I dont care! And I can finally LAUGH at their stoopid lives!!
Mama gemXX
Oxy, In Australia there is a brand of Beer called” Four ex.”
On the cans its like,
XXXX
So, we say, “I dont give a flying four ex!”
F XXXX!!!
They also say,
“May all your Chicks hatch into Emus, and kick your Dunny down!”
A Dunny is a n outdoor toilet or Sh—t house.
Also
“hes lower than a snakes Belly”
And “Flat out, like a Lizard Drinkin”!!
Love,
GemXX
Dear Oxy (big hugs to you I know you help so many people even those who never post) and LF friends, one joy, star gazer, hope to heal etc, you are so genuine ..kind and caring ..probably all our downfall ..however ..
An update, the spath is worried, 9 days and clock ticking. The spath has since his last court appearance is in over drive of lies. He has now 9 days to support his claim that both schools who he owes 45k to (interest is being added) has according to him agreed a deal last week. Unfortunately for the spath they have had enough as well; if he does not come up with his evidence the bailiffs will be back on the 14th April or soon after to current OW/mother in law house to take everything and I could not careless. The abuse my children and I have suffered at the hands of the OW has been terrible and she was taken to court. She maybe a victim believing all his lies, but abusing children ..no, not normal behaviour even if manipulated by a spath, and a mother ..indecent as well.
Neither school care they want their money and the pity me ploys ..suicide of a nephew aged 19 (that must of been the one he last saw at our wedding as a baby!), ‘I am going to go bankrupt’ (go figure with his 45k car and no CM, who cares), I need more hair dye (I am laughing ..ho ho ho).
The judge tied him up in knots …the spath has exactly 7 days realistically until ding dong the reality of what he has done and his lies catch up. Not only bailiffs he will be back in criminal proceedings and no one cares a stuff about the pity me ..I am living in a car ..no one cares ..yep right t**ser no one does!!
If I sound ‘confident’, it is entirely due to this site, when I realised what the spath was, it was not easy but certainly ‘easier’. I am not the crazy one, whatever rubbish comes out of the spath’s mouth, (including my son is a ‘failure he needs special needs, he is thick’ ..hello my son has just won a chemistry scholarship at a top UK public school ..ohh the jealously ..riddled with it). The judge had a letter congratulating my son on his award which of course the spath had not seen ..even his own child ..the spath is a monster!
For the first time I am empowered and everyone knows what he is ..finally after 6 years ..no one believes a word out of his mouth. The spath has run me down for years ..but your own child ..sick!
I will keep you posted, but he is up to his neck in the lies ..charging orders on his and the spaths mother are all prepared ..no escape ..not forgetting a knock on the door from the bailiffs. If he does a runner ..even worse.
NC, tell them zip and watch and wait ..if it was not for this site and the awakening of what I was dealing with I would still be in turmoil. I have no interest in the spath other than justice for my children ..the impact he has had on them only time will tell; however they know he is a spath and he can never manipulate them ever again for information or to feel ‘it is in control’.
I used to be such a trusting, caring, help anyone sort of person ..I am so different ..as we all are ..better or worse I don’t know, but certainly not a fool and very cynical. Some say ignorance is bliss; I wonder how many people on this site would adhere to that mantra.
Thank you all so much, only my family ‘get’ it and one good old judge!!
Sweet dreams.
This post made me feel great while reading! Spaths really are dumb assholes. I caught mine in lie after lie after lie. Seems like if you are going to lie that much you would keep a notebook and write the lies down, not to forget them! Very stupid, bad liars, and small brains.