By | February 4, 2013 25 Comments

EFT Tapping helps you deal with the trauma of sociopaths

I first learned about the concept of energy psychology a year or two ago. Here’s the basic premise of energy psychology, according to David Feinstein, author of The Promise of Energy Psychology:

Stimulating energy points on the skin, paired with specified mental activities, can instantly shift your brain’s electrochemistry to:

  • help overcome unwanted emotions such as fear, guilt, shame, jealousy, or anger,
  • help change unwanted habits and behavior, and
  • enhance your abilities to love, succeed, and enjoy life.

The basic technique of energy psychology, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is tapping. By tapping the endpoints of certain meridians in the body, while focusing on an issue we want to change, we can make dramatic changes in our lives.

I tried tapping. It works. This is also the technique that the Lovefraud reader NewLife43 described in the article she wrote last month, Letters to Lovefraud: Solutions to our pain.

This is a holistic approach to changing your life. You can do it by yourself. It’s free, unless you choose to work with a practitioner. It doesn’t hurt. And the results are amazing.

I think energy psychology is the solution to the emotional pain so many of us feel because of our interactions with the sociopaths. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to suggest EFT Tapping to the Lovefraud community. Perhaps the opportunity is here. I just learned that the 2013 Tapping World Summit begins tonight. It is supported by some of the big names in holistic health, including Louise Hay and Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. David Feinstein, the author I quoted above, explains the science behind the technique.

This is a free online audio seminar. Yes, they are trying to sell you transcripts, workbooks, videos, etc., but you don’t have to buy them. I recommend that you check it out. I believe this EFT Tapping technique can help you truly heal from the trauma of sociopaths. For more information, please visit: Tapping World Summit.

Comment on this article

Please Login to comment
Notify of

Donna, I am so glad that you wrote a follow-up to my article last month. With only 14 comments following the article, I felt like I was “hollering into a well”.

Again, I can’t stress enough that EFT and TAT work quickly and gently. And it’s free. Anyone can do it. I hate to sound like a commercial, maybe if someone had to pay thousands of dollars to learn how to do it, they would value it.

There have been instances where counselors (both legal and talk therapy) had to decide if they should use EFT on a patient, because it takes away the pain so completely, it might affect the way they are testifying against a perpetrator (for instance, a rapist). You really just don’t care anymore about whatever issue you tap on. Now, that doesn’t mean something else won’t trigger you that wasn’t addressed originally, but when that happens, you don’t have to be afraid of it, just tap on that issue.

Again, I wish people would look into it and give this FREE, easy-to-learn technique a try for say, something like two weeks. Even a beginner will stumble on some issues that they can clear up. If not, at least learn it for when you are triggered by something, because, you are certainly feeling the pain at that moment! And you can take it out, permanently.

Well, for the ones who want to put this totally behind them and move on, it’s out there on YouTube and the internet for the taking. There are links in the article Donna referenced above.

I wish everyone well in their recovery. Their speedy recovery. Sometimes it breaks my heart to see others in so much pain. Because, let’s face it, I’ve seen my share and I understand.

Ox Drover

Donna and NewLife, there are MANY different “holistic” techniques that WORK from yoga to meditation to hypnosis….and many can be learned by yourself or from materials on the internet.

I haven’t personally tried this but I may just do so, what’s it gonna hurt? What’s to be gained? Maybe more than I know.

I think with anything we have to look at the risk versus benefit ratio…and I don’t see any down side in trying this technique.


When I first started realizing that something was seriously wrong,
when I first started searching for help and answers, I went to see
a LFMT that taught me EFT tapping and we also did EMDR sessions
with a little hypnosis. It worked EXCELLENT for me as far as any
‘immediate’ relief. I mean, the EFT tapping WAS immediate and
the EMDR came pretty quickly as well. I am still amazed at how
well EMDR did for me. Seriously. I can’t say enough about EFT
tapping as it awakens all of those focal points of adrenalin, etc.,
in various parts of our bodies. A natural, self healing, holistic
approach. Only after I tried every thing else and still wasn’t
feeling the relief I was needing, did I seek prescription
intervention for my MDD and agoraphobia and PTSD.

I am doing okay. Still fighting the struggle and well, almost
ready to start settling into a new place, soon, and with
a new family member in the form of a bow wow. lol
I need something to hold and to love…
I am thinking a multipoo or something similar.

Hope and pray you are all well and doing alright.
The battle isn’t over yet ~ I learned that today but
that is okay because I am ready for round #2……
NC is still in full effect even though there have been
intrusions….that’s okay…I am stealth ed now.

I am getting STRONG and independent again…
Remembering who I used to be and realizing that
I will never be that person, not ever again – but I
will become someone ‘new’ with more strengths
and more voice when it comes to MY LIFE. I have
empowered myself. It has taken me a while to climb
back out of that dark, dank hole but I am doing it.
Something I never thought I would do…

Trust me: I will win the final battle.


The tapping didn’t work for me. My hypnotherapist used it on me. She taught me how to do it but I felt nothing from it.

The hypnosis DID actually work on me. It made me go to sleep, which is bizarre because I’ve had insomnia for decades (side effect of living with a spath).

I must admit that maybe the tapping didn’t work because I just couldn’t face all those triggers long enough to allow the tapping to get rid of them. I don’t know, it seemed to me that whenever the therapist would address my triggers, I just got triggered and no amount of tapping helped me. It’s probably because I’m a coward.


Skylar – you are not a coward. My life has paralled yours in so many ways – I think because we have been through our ENTIRE lives with sociopaths – we have deeper challenges. That’s what I tell myself to encourage myself when I feel like a doofus or a coward or all the other gaslighting I do to myself.

NewLife43 – you are not hollering into a well – so many read this site who never post. I will try the tapping !! I especially really appreciate when people share what has worked for them and reach out to all of us in case we find it useful – to relieve our pain. Bless you.

Donna – I am grateful for every shred of help this site and community give. For me – I went through so many years of confusion with no thoughtful and aware information available. Like you said the other day – we cannot be responsible for what we do not know.

I still struggle off and on and I’ve decided that’s okay. Long road looking back – but I got final and total freedom from my mother a few years back – my choice. Still working on freedom from the marriage.

I also figured out why every relationship I ever had was a sociopath. It was because I was never mirrored as a child but was aware that I had my own interests. I was drawn to men who were “interested” in my interests and I would get really happy to have someone who could be a truly interested companion in the things I wanted to be involved in. I had no idea their interest was false – it was in order for them to exploit. Now I know. We have a phrase at work – “schmoozing” – people who “want something” without earning it. I now know that sociopaths MO is “schmooze ’em, use ’em and lose ’em.” Whenever things get a little weird at work, we now say “Watch out for the schmooze artists.”

Anyway – everything that adds to our tool bag of determination and recovery is greatly appreciated. The motto that keeps me going is “Decide to Recover.”



Look into TAT, Tapas Accupressure Technique. You can Google it and her website with free ebook will come up. Sometimes, when I am hurting too much to tap, I will use this technique instead and just hold the pose while thinking about what is bothering me. After all, I’m thinking about it anyway! This one works wonderfully!

I just want to get well!

Tea Light

Opalrose, “decide to recover” – I love that. Thanks. I want as speedy a recovery as I can get for myself. Sick of the abuser’s effect on me my health and my life. Onward and upward. I’ll try tapping, what the hell.
Louise, my happylight will be here any day! x



Thank you for writing this!

“I also figured out why every relationship I ever had was a sociopath. It was because I was never mirrored as a child but was aware that I had my own interests. I was drawn to men who were “interested” in my interests and I would get really happy to have someone who could be a truly interested companion in the things I wanted to be involved in. I had no idea their interest was false ”“ it was in order for them to exploit. Now I know.” This is so true for me also!

This is the new issue I am going to tap on. I want to see what comes up, because I realize now, all my bad decisions were made trying to make up for what I didn’t get as a child.

That’s how I use EFT and TAT. All of you who post articles and comments, while reading your posts I am tapping or using TAT. Sometimes I cry buckets and sometimes I am just mildly affected. All I know is, when the issue comes up again, it no longer bothers me. It doesn’t erase the memory of it, just the impact. Who cares.

You see, I can’t think of everything myself, maybe because I have blinders on that part of my personality…but all of you that write have shared the same kind of experiences that I’ve had and you’ve had different realizations and come to different conclusions than I had. It is so helpful because what you write resonates with me and I know that is an issue I have. So I tap on it to make it go away. By telling your stories, you are providing me with insights into myself.

Thank you all! Bless you, too, OpalRose.

Tea Light

Newlife, you have a great attitude, very positive 🙂 peace and love to you in your recovery


i also have this problem. i think it has been so long and so thoroughly integrated into my now-screwed up being, that i just start at the edge and wait. it will, sooner or later, start taking effect. pretty sure yoga would help, but that i will also put off til later, since i just don’t want to now! eft & yoga- like re-alignment of the emf fields of the human. yoga re-aligns, eft is like a reset button. some of us just have so much scar tissue, takes a while to wear that down? my take. meanwhile, just keep on trying? and whilst i’m working on the fringes, faith in God is a good thing too! these are things i objectively know, that moving target~ growth & change~!


Donna, thank you SO much for posting this article and link. I have heard so much about “tapping” and I couldn’t really get a grasp on this technique. I’m grateful that you’ve posted the seminar site – I just registered and I am anxious to learn more about this.

Anxiety, stress, anger, rage, despair, self-blame, etc…..all of these things factor into recovery from spath experiences and SOME of them seem insurmountable. I’m open to anything that helps me to remove myself from “what he did” and TOWARDS self-enlightenment and recovery.

Again, thank you for this article!!!

Brightest blessings



Thx to those who have suggested EFT. I am doing traditional acupuncture too. Needles in my ears right now…and adding the EFT to it.

My taps for day…

Tap,Tap, …..
“even though I am filled with rage right now, and have beat the sh-t out of my spath in my head, with a big stick…in front of all the women he ever hurt….I love and accept myself. ”


“even though I am afraid of men now, don’t think I will ever be willing to open my life to the possibility of love again, allowed inner child to be eviserated again….and I am considering female circumcision, shaving my head, and joining a monastery as my path for the future…..I love and accept myself just as I am. ”




kim frederick

Blue, I like you. You are so poetic, and metaphoric, and funny. Keenly intelligent. Witty.
As trgic as it all is, your sarcasm above tickled me. Aint it the truth?
Tap tap tap……
Even though I have allowed myself to be duped and am ruined for life; I haven’t a dime in my pocket, and God is dead, I’m hungry, haven’t had a bath in two weeks, live in a card board box, hate myself and the rest of humanity, want to die…..I deeply love and accept myself….tap, tap, tap…….
And, I am ok, now. None of the above is true, but, at one time I felt like that, and EFT people, I do respect you, just having a little fun, ok. Just being cynical.
I did try EFT for a couple of days. It just seemed so silly, but WTH, I might try it again.

kim frederick

……tap dancing on a land mine…..Aerosmith’s, Ragdoll.


Kim Frederick,

Your tap made me laugh too…and beleive me, I am a very logical gal, so tapping at one time…sounded like hocus pocus to me. However, it is based on ancient chinese principles of meridians of energy in the body (acupucture too)…and I am pretty sure that it can’t hurt. Preventative, natural -cure type healing kills far fewer people than modern western medicine. No surprises there???LOL If my explanation of EFT and meridians is wrong…plz feel free to correct…I am no wizard at it…I just know a few, well, quite a few people who do this kinda stuff….and they are happier and more balanced than the average soul : )
I like you too…I like most people…..except SPATHaholes LOL





EFT does seem silly, doesn’t it? I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen in my life, but when I got rid of the PTSD that I had had for 18 years, I wasn’t laughing anymore. In psychotherapy, there was no cure for PTSD, you just had to learn how to “manage” it, with drugs or talk therapy. Well, I didn’t want to “manage” it. I was sick of it and wanted it gone! (Just like my spath)

The best part is, that once you get rid of the emotion that is bothering you, you can’t even make yourself feel that way again. I know, I tried! (Talk about silly, but I guess I missed feeling that way, I had had it for so long).

I tap while I read the articles and subsequent comments that follow. Really helps me, because all of YOU come up with the insights, and then I just react to them. And tap on them. Then it goes away. Until something else comes up. But it’s happening less and less. Soon I will be well again. I want to get well. I want to be the person I was before. You won’t forget what happened to you, but you just won’t give a darn anymore.

Hope you try it again and give it a try for two weeks. It really, really works. Best regards to everyone.



You made me laugh. And your explanation of EFT is pretty on target. When I describe it to someone, I usually say, that it is a “non-invasive accupressure technique” (as opposed to the invasiveness of accupuncture) that resets the emotions in your mind. And it’s free. I really like that part, because some of us were financially devastated by the spaths and have no spare money for the help we need to feel better. You can do it alone or with a friend and there are many therapists who use it also.

But you have to use it. If you’re sitting there crying or feeling sad, you might as well tap on the specific tapping points anyway. It’s the best time, because you are really tuned in to what is hurting you right then. I mean, you can’t be reading the comics and expect it to work!!

Good luck with your recovery.


Hi Newlife 43,

Thx for your point that that ” we won’t forget…but we won’t give a damn anymore”

That makes me want to tap all day. It makes me nutty that I am still thinking of him incessantly, while he moved on quickly with next victim…I cry and feel soul raped. Ughhhh
I want to be well again this EFT, will be one tool in my box to heal. I will rejoice on the day I wake…and don’t give a damn anymore…that will be freedom!


kim frederick

Just wanted to let you know, I’m tapping. This is the third day, and it does seem to help. The emotional energy surrounding each issue seems to lessen.
Thanks, Newlife, Donna and others, for the encouragement.


Tap dancing?

kim frederick

No, Moony, EFT tapping.

kim frederick

Instead of beating it, I’m tapping on a dead horse. LOL




Good one Kim. Hey! I’m looking into going to see someone. They are sending me a intro package with some paperwork to fill out. In the mean time I’m exploring the web site slowly. I’m not going to skip any steps. I told the woman on the phone that I was looking at the info on the web site and she was ok with that. They are about 2 1/2 hrs from me at least so when I get my ducks in a row I’m going to schedule an hour and a half appointment. Make it more worth the trip. I’m very excited!!
The web site you listed is the same one I happened on to a while back but got distracted. Thanks for the reminder!!


Eft tapping to clear the issue. This might work better?
Have you ever tapped to send a difficult or blocked communication to someone without talking to them?

Read more at:

Lovefraud is being upgraded. Comments and forum posts are temporarily disabled. Dismiss

Send this to a friend