I first learned about the concept of energy psychology a year or two ago. Here’s the basic premise of energy psychology, according to David Feinstein, author of The Promise of Energy Psychology:
Stimulating energy points on the skin, paired with specified mental activities, can instantly shift your brain’s electrochemistry to:
- help overcome unwanted emotions such as fear, guilt, shame, jealousy, or anger,
- help change unwanted habits and behavior, and
- enhance your abilities to love, succeed, and enjoy life.
The basic technique of energy psychology, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is tapping. By tapping the endpoints of certain meridians in the body, while focusing on an issue we want to change, we can make dramatic changes in our lives.
I tried tapping. It works. This is also the technique that the Lovefraud reader NewLife43 described in the article she wrote last month, Letters to Lovefraud: Solutions to our pain.
This is a holistic approach to changing your life. You can do it by yourself. It’s free, unless you choose to work with a practitioner. It doesn’t hurt. And the results are amazing.
I think energy psychology is the solution to the emotional pain so many of us feel because of our interactions with the sociopaths. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to suggest EFT Tapping to the Lovefraud community. Perhaps the opportunity is here. I just learned that the 2013 Tapping World Summit begins tonight. It is supported by some of the big names in holistic health, including Louise Hay and Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. David Feinstein, the author I quoted above, explains the science behind the technique.
This is a free online audio seminar. Yes, they are trying to sell you transcripts, workbooks, videos, etc., but you don’t have to buy them. I recommend that you check it out. I believe this EFT Tapping technique can help you truly heal from the trauma of sociopaths. For more information, please visit: Tapping World Summit.
Donna, I am so glad that you wrote a follow-up to my article last month. With only 14 comments following the article, I felt like I was “hollering into a well”.
Again, I can’t stress enough that EFT and TAT work quickly and gently. And it’s free. Anyone can do it. I hate to sound like a commercial, maybe if someone had to pay thousands of dollars to learn how to do it, they would value it.
There have been instances where counselors (both legal and talk therapy) had to decide if they should use EFT on a patient, because it takes away the pain so completely, it might affect the way they are testifying against a perpetrator (for instance, a rapist). You really just don’t care anymore about whatever issue you tap on. Now, that doesn’t mean something else won’t trigger you that wasn’t addressed originally, but when that happens, you don’t have to be afraid of it, just tap on that issue.
Again, I wish people would look into it and give this FREE, easy-to-learn technique a try for say, something like two weeks. Even a beginner will stumble on some issues that they can clear up. If not, at least learn it for when you are triggered by something, because, you are certainly feeling the pain at that moment! And you can take it out, permanently.
Well, for the ones who want to put this totally behind them and move on, it’s out there on YouTube and the internet for the taking. There are links in the article Donna referenced above.
I wish everyone well in their recovery. Their speedy recovery. Sometimes it breaks my heart to see others in so much pain. Because, let’s face it, I’ve seen my share and I understand.
Donna and NewLife, there are MANY different “holistic” techniques that WORK from yoga to meditation to hypnosis….and many can be learned by yourself or from materials on the internet.
I haven’t personally tried this but I may just do so, what’s it gonna hurt? What’s to be gained? Maybe more than I know.
I think with anything we have to look at the risk versus benefit ratio…and I don’t see any down side in trying this technique.
When I first started realizing that something was seriously wrong,
when I first started searching for help and answers, I went to see
a LFMT that taught me EFT tapping and we also did EMDR sessions
with a little hypnosis. It worked EXCELLENT for me as far as any
‘immediate’ relief. I mean, the EFT tapping WAS immediate and
the EMDR came pretty quickly as well. I am still amazed at how
well EMDR did for me. Seriously. I can’t say enough about EFT
tapping as it awakens all of those focal points of adrenalin, etc.,
in various parts of our bodies. A natural, self healing, holistic
approach. Only after I tried every thing else and still wasn’t
feeling the relief I was needing, did I seek prescription
intervention for my MDD and agoraphobia and PTSD.
I am doing okay. Still fighting the struggle and well, almost
ready to start settling into a new place, soon, and with
a new family member in the form of a bow wow. lol
I need something to hold and to love…
I am thinking a multipoo or something similar.
Hope and pray you are all well and doing alright.
The battle isn’t over yet ~ I learned that today but
that is okay because I am ready for round #2……
NC is still in full effect even though there have been
intrusions….that’s okay…I am stealth ed now.
I am getting STRONG and independent again…
Remembering who I used to be and realizing that
I will never be that person, not ever again – but I
will become someone ‘new’ with more strengths
and more voice when it comes to MY LIFE. I have
empowered myself. It has taken me a while to climb
back out of that dark, dank hole but I am doing it.
Something I never thought I would do…
Trust me: I will win the final battle.
Dupey
The tapping didn’t work for me. My hypnotherapist used it on me. She taught me how to do it but I felt nothing from it.
The hypnosis DID actually work on me. It made me go to sleep, which is bizarre because I’ve had insomnia for decades (side effect of living with a spath).
I must admit that maybe the tapping didn’t work because I just couldn’t face all those triggers long enough to allow the tapping to get rid of them. I don’t know, it seemed to me that whenever the therapist would address my triggers, I just got triggered and no amount of tapping helped me. It’s probably because I’m a coward.
Skylar – you are not a coward. My life has paralled yours in so many ways – I think because we have been through our ENTIRE lives with sociopaths – we have deeper challenges. That’s what I tell myself to encourage myself when I feel like a doofus or a coward or all the other gaslighting I do to myself.
NewLife43 – you are not hollering into a well – so many read this site who never post. I will try the tapping !! I especially really appreciate when people share what has worked for them and reach out to all of us in case we find it useful – to relieve our pain. Bless you.
Donna – I am grateful for every shred of help this site and community give. For me – I went through so many years of confusion with no thoughtful and aware information available. Like you said the other day – we cannot be responsible for what we do not know.
I still struggle off and on and I’ve decided that’s okay. Long road looking back – but I got final and total freedom from my mother a few years back – my choice. Still working on freedom from the marriage.
I also figured out why every relationship I ever had was a sociopath. It was because I was never mirrored as a child but was aware that I had my own interests. I was drawn to men who were “interested” in my interests and I would get really happy to have someone who could be a truly interested companion in the things I wanted to be involved in. I had no idea their interest was false – it was in order for them to exploit. Now I know. We have a phrase at work – “schmoozing” – people who “want something” without earning it. I now know that sociopaths MO is “schmooze ’em, use ’em and lose ’em.” Whenever things get a little weird at work, we now say “Watch out for the schmooze artists.”
Anyway – everything that adds to our tool bag of determination and recovery is greatly appreciated. The motto that keeps me going is “Decide to Recover.”
Skylar:
Look into TAT, Tapas Accupressure Technique. You can Google it and her website with free ebook will come up. Sometimes, when I am hurting too much to tap, I will use this technique instead and just hold the pose while thinking about what is bothering me. After all, I’m thinking about it anyway! This one works wonderfully!
I just want to get well!
Opalrose, “decide to recover” – I love that. Thanks. I want as speedy a recovery as I can get for myself. Sick of the abuser’s effect on me my health and my life. Onward and upward. I’ll try tapping, what the hell.
Louise, my happylight will be here any day! x
OpalRose:
Thank you for writing this!
“I also figured out why every relationship I ever had was a sociopath. It was because I was never mirrored as a child but was aware that I had my own interests. I was drawn to men who were “interested” in my interests and I would get really happy to have someone who could be a truly interested companion in the things I wanted to be involved in. I had no idea their interest was false ”“ it was in order for them to exploit. Now I know.” This is so true for me also!
This is the new issue I am going to tap on. I want to see what comes up, because I realize now, all my bad decisions were made trying to make up for what I didn’t get as a child.
That’s how I use EFT and TAT. All of you who post articles and comments, while reading your posts I am tapping or using TAT. Sometimes I cry buckets and sometimes I am just mildly affected. All I know is, when the issue comes up again, it no longer bothers me. It doesn’t erase the memory of it, just the impact. Who cares.
You see, I can’t think of everything myself, maybe because I have blinders on that part of my personality…but all of you that write have shared the same kind of experiences that I’ve had and you’ve had different realizations and come to different conclusions than I had. It is so helpful because what you write resonates with me and I know that is an issue I have. So I tap on it to make it go away. By telling your stories, you are providing me with insights into myself.
Thank you all! Bless you, too, OpalRose.
Newlife, you have a great attitude, very positive 🙂 peace and love to you in your recovery
i also have this problem. i think it has been so long and so thoroughly integrated into my now-screwed up being, that i just start at the edge and wait. it will, sooner or later, start taking effect. pretty sure yoga would help, but that i will also put off til later, since i just don’t want to now! eft & yoga- like re-alignment of the emf fields of the human. yoga re-aligns, eft is like a reset button. some of us just have so much scar tissue, takes a while to wear that down? my take. meanwhile, just keep on trying? and whilst i’m working on the fringes, faith in God is a good thing too! these are things i objectively know, that moving target~ growth & change~!