Like many of you, I am very grateful for a few friends who acted as sounding boards as I processed my experience with a sociopath. The best talks have been with my exercise partner who is also a former Federal agent. About 2 years ago on one of our walks we discussed what it must be like to be inside the skin of a sociopath. Both of us tried to imagine what their inner world is like.
On that walk we both connected with ourselves and each other in a way we hadn’t before. The connection happened as we reflected on what it must be like to live a life without love. I realized that my sense of myself as a continuous person over time is based on the people I love and the values I have a passion for. Everywhere I go I carry with me a sense of duty, love and connection to my children and other loved ones. My dearest ones are always inside me. The fulfilling of duty to them gives life purpose and direction.
According to Dr. Cleckley, the first psychiatrist to really study sociopaths, the disorder produces an incapacity for love that is “complete”. Furthermore Dr. Cleckley states in his book, The Mask of Sanity that even those who have an “incomplete manifestation” of the disorder completely lack the capacity for love.
Without love to give themselves a sense of feeling and purpose, sociopaths are prone to boredom. They have to keep filling their lives with excitement and also abuse substances to fill the gap.
Sociopaths live in the moment because they lack the loving human connections that give everyone else a sense of continuity of person and purpose.
Sociopaths also have no true self because instead of being based on loving connections, their sense of themselves is based on who they can dominate in the moment. If yesterday they had to assume a certain identity to get over on person A, today they may have to assume another identity to get over on person B. This assumption of identities is not a problem for them because the goal is not loving or meaningful connectedness. The goal is the pleasure of the get over. They will become what they must to accomplish that goal.
I’ve been struggling over whether or not to include a section on “identity” in my next book. I am trying not to get too psychologically technical. But it might be helpful for victims and family members to reflect on identity and understand why sociopaths lack a stable sense of self. I am interested in your thoughts about that.
Since some of you indicated you wanted me to tackle an explanation of “borderline personality”. I’ve been reading on the issue of identity. On page 213 of “Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism” psychoanalyst Dr. Otto Kernberg says the following:
The normal integrated self and its related integrated conceptions of others guarantee a sense of continuity throughout time and under varying circumstances. They also guarantee a sense of belonging to a network of human relations that makes life meaningful, and they guarantee the ordinary “self feeling” we take for granted”¦
He also says that absent loving connections:
”¦ pathological subjective experiences of a painful and disturbing nature develop. Among these experiences predominates a sense of emptiness and futility of life, chronic restlessness and boredom..In typical cases, it is as if this emptiness were their basic modality of subjective experience from which they attempt to escape by engagement in many activities or in frantic social interactions, by the ingestion of drugs or alcohol or by attempts to obtain instinctual gratifications through sex, aggression, food or compulsive activities”¦
I hope you will spend what is left of summer reflecting on your own loving connections. As you contemplate the meaning of these connections and their importance to your sense of who you are, consider your own “self-feeling”. Realize that you have yourself to give yourself in intimacy to another either friend, family or lover, while the sociopath you know has nothing to give anyone.
Please, tilly, send me an email, then I can send you one back! Thanks for your lovely comments, you are so good for my morale,kid!! Why should you feel guilty when they die?If they havent repented of their horrible treatment of you they will go to hell, and they will have put THEMSELVES there with no help from you! THEY are the ones who should feel guilty for abusing you as a precious, defenceless child!
Give them to God, he will deal with them, as they deserve.Dont beat yourself up about them they are so not worth it! NC, NC,NC till they die! Towanda!!! {{{HUGS}}}Also, WHO CARES what they feel or think of you? gemXXDONT ring them,DONT email them, DONT descend to their pitiful level, you are worth so much more.JUST DONT!OK?!!Or Ill boink you with my OWN skillet!!Gem.XX
Thankyou Gem!
I have to wait for the CIB to let me know a few things before I make any new contacts. I hope you can understand that that is how I stay safe, at present.But I promise when I know, I will DEFINITELY email you.xoxoxoxox
PS I LOVE YOUR SKILLET!!! LOL!
It was rough week for me. I haven’t been on here because I was on a vacation origianlly planned for 9 of us; me my P my son, my brother and his wife and two girls and my parents.
Since court wheremy mom stated we were leaving for vaca. on the 8th, I thought I had two whole weekends. In exchange (because p has weekends) I am to return with son asap (today after work).
I wanted to be with my family prior to the 8th to pack ad get groceries. I found out the court order stated the 9th and panicked…called att. She said there wasn’t much she scould do, but petitioned the court for the 8th which STILL left me not able to be at myparents for the 7th. I had to call P and worki something out…he was VERY uncooperative…it was awful. He wanted so much…stop the discovery period, give floating visitations instead of looked dates, extra time etc… BUT He still would not tell me if I could have son the 7th.
Finally P called the law guardian and she said to let me have him and arranged for 1 extra visit a week for 3 weeks.
(I already agreed to that!!!!) He needed the LAW to tell him what to do.
On top of that he tried to make her think I was being controlling and alienating…when I truly thought I was getting son for 10 days.
WELL Friday comes and everything seems to be rolling along well…just recovering from the arguement including and accidental conference call with my att. including P!!!!!!
Then my “friend” that I was living with informs me she has had enough, has packed my stuff and put it in another room to be picked up and the rest was under a tarp on her porch!!!!!
BTW this is illegal in NY.
So I tried to enjoy my vacation…my son’s 1st!
I did for the most part, but now I must go “home” and I do not have one!!!!!
My P was on a cruise this week with his mistress.
I Do not miss him…I find it hard to even find redeeming traits prior to the affair. I do not want him back.
I am the only one who is dealing with these cycles of greif?
I am feeling the betrayal full-on again.
I wish I didn’t marry the a## and I wish we didn’t have our son.
I can deal with betrayal, but why marry a woman you do not love or commit to and on top of that willfully bring another life into this mix of potential disaster!!!!!
It really burns my a##!!!!!!
Thanks for listening.
OXY can you give me a skillet upside the head please.
Dear Banana,
Sugar, you don’t need a skillet up side the head you need a (((((Hug))))) so that is what I am sending you.
It seems to me that problems pile up and up and all kind of come at the same time. I know it is difficult that your “friend” has had enough, but sometimes even well-meaning people can’t “get it” about what you are going through and they are just not able to “handle” all the drama and grief—for various reasons. I know that finding a new place to live is just another stressor and co-parenting with that psychopath (who seems to be floating along without a “problem” in the world, while making mroe and more for you) is a BURDEN that seems TOO HEAVY TO BEAR. ((((Hug))))
Take a deep breath, feel it all the way to your toes, and then take one little thing and do it. One tiny baby step at a time, and BREATHE deeply, and reach out and get a double hand full of “calm”—tell yourself, “I can do this” over and over, and get by oone breath, one step, one minute at a time, and for that one minute don’t feel helpless, feel empowered, feel strong for that ONE minute. I am praying for you, and I am confident that you and my God can do anything together!!! (((hugs))))
Hi everyone,
I am newly registered to this site, however I have been reading your posts for about a week now. This is because about a week ago, a friend brought a concern to me with an attached definition of a “psychopath”: Psychopaths aren’t necessarily criminals – approximately 1% of the population are psychopaths. They are characterized by superficial charm, lying, manipulativeness, lack of remorse/guilt, being emotionally shallow, lack of empathy, failure to accept responsibility for own actions.
She had concerns about a guy I have been “involved” with for about a year now and without a doubt he fits every criteria of that description. From all the situations and conversations I had told her about, she was able to see this as an obvious possibility where I was not. Easier for her to see, as she is totally detached, has not met him and does not live here. My friends here are not so lucky to be detached!
I will apologize now, this will be long & wordy I am sure. But to go back to the beginning… this guy moved here and was new in town. We quickly developed an acquaintanceship as he got a job working with many of my existing acquaintances. My close group of friends is also acquainted with this group and we all socialize on a regular basis for happy hours, parties, special events, sports, etc.
He immediately came across as loud & annoying, but after our first one-on-one conversation, I was hooked. He seemed to “challenge” me, but now I see that it was not a healthy challenge where we were equals. It was him trying to put me down and make himself feel bigger. Why is this so hard to see?? But I love a good conversation and witty banter, and that is how I saw it. My goal became to prove my worth to him and show him how smart *I* was… and all along he was probably laughing.
For a very long time, my friends all thought he was so funny, charming, etc… and a lot of them still do. But the GOOD friends also know and see he is not good to me. They labeled him as a “jerk” which is the easy excuse, but later and more seirously as an “emotional cripple” – one even stated “He is a thief, he is stealing your happiness!” – but now I have to wonder if there is MORE… or I guess LESS if he truly is the empty shell of a “P”.
I am still battling the feelings so many of you have stated. Did I not give him enough of a chance? Am I just not understanding him? He had me fooled with a statement he has made that “I just can’t open up to people,” and when I asked him to talk to me about it (presuming he should be able to trust me to speak openly after 8-9 months) he wouldn’t do it. I now think it was a lie to make me feel bad for him, and a trick to keep me around since he had no REAL reason for him being this distant, emotionally detached person. He tries to portray that something in his past has “hurt” him, but he does not even refer to any exes or relationships and he is 35!! Good looking, extremely smart & creative, stylish, fun, great job, fun hobbies… certainly not a turn off to women and not a hard time getting women. So something seems “off” if he’s never had a good relationship (or any at all) to refer to.
I, like others on this site, do not feel that I am weak or looking for guys to control me. I certainly have no background of abuse or other issues in my childhood. Great family, great & supportive parents. But I do give and give and give… to excess. I hate saying no, and struggle so much to understand why anyone would be so mean & hurtful… so callous and careless with my feelings. Now that I know he may be a “P” at least it makes more sense. But I am still wondering if this an excuse to make myself feel better, or if he really is…??? We also met very shortly after I had broken up with a boyfriend of 3 years who then tried to make my life a living hell when I would not take him back, and it was a huge strain on me and very hard feeling like I was hurting him by not taking him back. But I’m sure it was obvious I missed being in a relationship (so soon out of one) and this guy took advantage of it. He is VERY perceptive and I almost feel like he can read my thoughts…
I will give some situations here and maybe some of you can tell me what you think:
*As for dating, he will not “commit”. However, as soon as I meet someone new or am seen being friendly with any guy, he will move in on us (it’s a very small town and as I said we have many mutual friends… it is very hard to avoid seeing him) and inevitably start calling again. He wants me to tell him I love him, I say I won’t and have asked why you want someone to love you, when you don’t want to love them back and he says “I think it’s funny.” This started after our third physcial interaction and I assumed it was a control thing or (coming from my overly compassionate side) that he was suffereing from low self esteem and really wanted to feel loved. Ha, what a joke. He will then also tell me none of the other guys are good enough for me, only he is…. but he won’t commit to me. In hindsight maybe this has been a blessing and has kept me a tiny bit more detached not dealing with him on a daily basis.
*Hasn’t happened lately, but he would often start arguments seemingly out of the blue. Got mad one night when I had left my car/house keys w/ a friend so we were locked out of my house. Friend was on the way, but instead of waiting outside with me in the cold at 2 a.m. he started a fight basically implying I was stupid for not having my keys on me, then left me and then sent texts stating it was my fault he was leaving and never coming back. Also claimed on more than one occasion that I was “violent” when everyone witnessed I jokingly elbowed him on the one occasion and slugged him in the arm on another. All publicly and in joking context… and I am 5’1″ and petite and he is 6’0″ and very bulky. Not like I could hurt him physically very easily AT ALL. He also states that I blame him for all of my problems. Which is ridiculous… considering I have no problems – other than him! As I said, I have a good family, college degree, my own home, new car, awesome dog, good job, great friends, and still under age 30 with plenty of life to live…… nothing is ever perfect, but I am hardly some lost cause at life.
*He has stated I have low self-esteem and am awkward. This is hardly the case. Thought he frustrates me to no end and I’m sure I cave far too easily to his requests, so it seems that way possibly to him. But none of my other friends or people I’ve dated see me this way. The next instant he will say how beautiful I am, let’s have a baby, we would have beautiful children, let’s get married, I am so good to him, I make him feel so happy, how he didn’t want me to meet his mom because she would tell him to marry me, blah blah blah… and then again the next instant “you can’t be my girlfriend, I hope you’re not all attached again,” and other junk like that.
*Seems to remember everything I have ever said, but only when it’s convenient for him. Will often twist my words and use them against me.
*Regularly talks about how great he is. Puts other people down mainly behind their backs, but is seen as the “funny guy”. People like him. People assume he may have some insecurities which keep him from getting close to people and why he puts up a veneer of cracking jokes. But it never ends and I have never seen what these insecurities could really be. ONE occasion where he did not want to go in the hot tub with a group of friends, people assumed he didn’t want to be shirtless (he’s grown a belly in the last year) but now I just wonder if he just didn’t want to be that close to other people…
*He often complains of boredom and has a hard time just sitting at a table socializing with friends. Claims he left the very large & exciting city he lived in prior to this, because he was “bored” and that he is bored here too.
*The biggest way he does suck me in is how he will hold me when he IS being nice. Kiss my forehead, look me in the eyes, hug me tight, likes to cuddle. This is the one thing I cannot tell if it is total acting or actual compassion. And the hardest thing to forget. I know these people are known to be great actors and can mimic very well, especially the more intelligent of the group (which he definitely is). So this is what confuses me the most.
I guess on the level that so many of you have dealt with, this is nothing. But he has made me cry many times (I am not a crier!), question my self-worth, and held me back from potentially finding a great guy and happiness and obviously it will only get harder over time. I do not need a relationship to be happy, but it’s pretty hard when someone is a dangling that possibility in front of you and then keeps stomping it down.
After last week’s potential discovery, I thought it would be easy to stay away because the thought he could be a sociopath scared me & made me feel sick. But then… wouldn’t you know…… he calls saying that his dad had a heart attack and he “needs me” The really sad part is me not even being sure if I should believe him. How can I be so attached to someone that I can’t even believe them about something that is so serious and no sane person would lie about?! Not to mention his dad lives less than 6 hours away, why wasn’t he in the car driving to see him? He also saw me out with another guy and proceeded to sit down at our table and befriend the new guy with his “funny” jokes, then later asked he ruined my date and called me 7+ times in a row, and left text messages.
Sorry to ramble on. I am trying to describe as much as I can think of and give you the “big picture”. I do not want to talk to many friends here about this, as among the many things I have read I found the advice more than once that you should not confront the P (just try to disappear as quietly as possible or do your best to bore them so THEY move on!) and you also should not tell others unless you feel they are being threatened.
Plus, as I’m sure you all know from experience, it is very hard for anyone to see it or understand it because the P has them all fooled. If you say too much without any kind of proof other than your personal pain and heresay, you look like the crazy one, making accusations. Especially someone who does not know anything about P/S/N’s. I’ve known for a while there were a large percentage of people with some kind of mental illness, but not until I really started researching did I truly understand how dangerous these “empty” people can be.
I hope I am wrong (another obvious sign even to myself it is going to be hard for me to let go and move on). Not sure if the situations I wrote about are enough for any of you to make any kind of judgment. I know that either way this guy is bad for me, but I guess I am looking for understanding. I have a good job, I am a leader among my friends and very confident in myself and making decisions… but with this guy I feel SO confused. He has stated he enjoys messing with my emotions, that it is “fun”. Obviously no matter WHAT he is or isn’t, he is bad for me. But I need support in getting out of it from people who understand how difficult it is to deal with their con games. He can be SUCH a jerk, and I would laugh off so much of what he said……… but then just when I am ready to run, he reels me back in with compliments and lies.
Dear Liz,
Let me quote a few lines from your post:
“I hope I am wrong (another obvious sign even to myself it is going to be hard for me to let go and move on). Not sure if the situations I wrote about are enough for any of you to make any kind of judgment.”
” I know that either way this guy is bad for me, but I guess I am looking for understanding.”
About the first quote: We try to second guess ourselves because it is difficult fo rus to really believe that anyone can be truly EVIL.
About the second quote: “either way this guy is bad for me”
You answered your own questions. YES this guy is BAD FOR YOU, and he does sound like a hhigh level narcissist and/or a psychopath. But it doesn’t matter really if he could be clinically diagnosed or not! Refer back to THIS GUY IS BAD FOR ME.
Trying to be “nice” to people and “think the best” etc. is a good character trait UNLESS IT IS TAKEN TO THE LEVEL OF PUTTING UP WITH ABUSE. I think all of us want to be “nice” and have people like us, but WE HAVE THE RIGHT AND THE RESPONSIBILITY TO OURSELVES TO SAY NO—-NO, if someone is doing something that is treating us with disrespect.
You have taken a giant step in the right direction and gotten out of his FOG (Fear, Obligation and Guuilt) before you married him or had kids with him. THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS, you are ONE SMART COOKIE.
Now, go back through the old archived articles and read every one. KNOWLEDGE=POWER and the power will protect you from the next jerk like this that comes along and as soon as you see a RED FLAG (sign he is dysfunctional or disordered) you will KICK HIS SORRY BUT TO THE CURB!!!
You are an awesome young woman (this is from an OLD women who wishes she had gotten these lessons when she was your age!) Hang tough and get the heck away from him. Don’t talk ABOUT him to anyone else, and dont’ listen to anyone else talk about him and NO CONTACT WITH HIM. If he shows up where you are just treat him like he is invisible, or just like you would a potted plant. Glad you are here there is plenty of good support and information here. Stick around!
Dear Liz,
welcome. You made a HUGE step by making an inventory of the “little” acts and episodes that seem so insignificant and can be seen as “being felt too touchy”, “can’t take a good joke”, but in the whole they erode you completely.
That is why nobody but someone who has been there is understanding your feelings of being “put down”, inferior, miserable, when he can be such a “cuddly bear” with LOONG BIG looks with beautiful eyes that for sure CAN’T LIE!
Course they can, and it is a poisoned sweetness that is even more playing with your tormented soul AND ENJOYING IT!!!
“He has stated he enjoys messing with my emotions, that it is “fun”. Obviously no matter WHAT he is or isn’t, he is bad for me. But I need support in getting out of it from people who understand how difficult it is to deal with their con games.”
Unfortunately you are not wrong at all, and my heart goes out to you. I met the same kind of “wonderboy” with a slight “knack” waiting to be fixed by me, and reading your stories and bits and pieces from your “relationshit” I came to the conclusion that you must have been dating “my” X, as he was quite the same with his actions and gaslighting and making me unsecure and helpless and a complete wreck.
Finding THIS out, and aknowledging that he is “no good” despite the “cuddle” is the biggest step! And that it is NOT YOUR FAULT, you have found out also, which is very good! He has not been able to destoy your confidence completely! As it is a saying here: the truth will set you free, but first it pisses you off”
You can be very proud of yourself having found out these things at an early stage before having a ring on the finger and a baby in the cradle.
NC is crucial, and when he is approaching you when you are with friends just don’t notice him, give him the “potted plant”- treatment as Oxy said once, although I LOVE potted plants so I personally would suggest an ugly dust-covered silk flower arrangement with a very bad Feng Shui. And just leave saying I do not like the atmosphere here. After all he is in YOUR territory and not vice versa.
You must not run, just stay calm. Set your firm boundaries. You DO NOT WANT EVER BE TREATED BY ANY PERSON IN YOUR LIFE AS HE DID: Punto!
The final discard belongs to us!
Come here to read and blog and vent and rant, whatever, but NEVER EVER LET HIM KNOW OR show him ANY SIGN OF AFFECTION YOU MIGHT HAVE. If you feel the urge to call him (The cuddles, one can get very addicted to them), come here instead!!! And I would not let your friends know about your difficulties with him, besides the friend who mentioned the “Sociopath”. They might tell HIM; and that weakens your position, seeming a “weak little damsel in distress” with lots of bitterness. He just will mock you, and that you do not want. You are such a strong woman, you can be very proud of yourself!!
((((Hugs))))
Hi Liz:
Welcome to LoveFraud. You are in a great place to discuss your issue.
I read your post. At best, he’s a jerk. At worst, he is, in fact, a sociopath, narcissist, whatever.
You are way too good for him, and he probably knows it.
Get rid of him. You can do so much better.
I was also in love with a man like what you have just described here.
Mine was very controlling, and would always try to “reel me back” as I was leaving, and trying to get on with my life. He made me cry, and left me confused and devastated on many occasions. Over time, the relationship became very unhealthy, volatile, and scary. Get out NOW. You are a young woman with your whole life ahead of you.
To answer your questions:
1) Did I not give him enough of a chance? No. You have been involved with him for about a year now. That’s more than enough time to give him a chance.
2) Am I just not understanding him? No. I think you have a very good grasp of the situation, and what is going on with this man.
He has even stated that he enjoys messing with your emotions, because “it is fun. This is not a good man.
Now, we’ll talk about the positive side for a minute.
Oh yes, when they are good, they are VERY GOOD. That’s why I stayed with mine for about 9 years. I was addicted so bad that I was not listening to ANYONE.
To this day, he is the most handsome man I have ever dated. Best kisser, too. He was absolutely gorgeous, and had a flawless exterior.
Too bad that’s all there was to him, the beautiful outside shell.
But, over time, the bad starts to outweigh the good.
Guys like this become boring after a while, and their tactics become predictable. You reach a point where you have had enough. You finally stop second guessing/blaming/beating up yourself , and you take a good, long, hard look at the man you are dealing with. Once you see these types of individuals for what they really are, and what they are really doing, it’s easy to leave. Saying “see ya” and not looking back suddenly becomes the easiest thing in the world to do.
At least it was for me. But that’s because I think I was exiting my relationship for a few years before I actually left the relationship. Do you know what I mean?
Everyone’s situation is a little different, though.
Get this guy out of your life now, so that you are open to a healthy relationship when it presents itself.
I have a feeling you will have no problem healing from this experience, and getting on with your life.
You seem like a very intelligent young lady with a bright future (and really great friends).
High 5 to the friend who brought the concern to you with the attached definition of “psychopath”.
Thank you all of you for the responses and support. Hopefully soon enough I will be truly getting past it and will be able to offer the same sound advice to the other posters on this site/blog. This blog in particular caught my eye “bored, empty chameleons”. Talk about an apt description!
Oxy, you are right. I am too nice to people who don’t deserve it or will exploit it. Even my last boyfriend (issues with depression) and a female friend (quite possibly a sociopath) were taking advantage of it (both now 100% out of my life). Prior to moving to a new place, I never really had a problem with any of this. I think while trying to find my place here in a new town, I showed signs of fear and weakness, and was “alone” since I did not have a group of friends… and the predators certainly pick up on that quickly!!! When I did leave my last boyfriend, this new guy caught on pretty quickly too. I did not have enough time to recover my strengths before he got me again! Thank GOD I had developed more strong friend relationships and they will be here to help me remain strong. Yes this guy has been messing with me for a while and I have stupidly let it continue on, but all through I have TRIED to move on knowing that I should… but in one moment of weakness he will always be there. I swear at times I feel like he has my phone bugged or watches where I am going/who I am with because as soon as I am talking to a guy – BAM he is there or calling.
The hardest part will definitely be NC (like I said he is a loud mouth, center of attention person – and has in the past made a big scene when I’ve tried to ignore him!), but I hope that being on here will help me and I can hold myself accountable. My friends here do understand he is a “jerk”, but only one has really stood up to him and will not tolerate any of his crap. I am glad to have a such a sincere, loyal and strong person around. Most are still charmed by him and although they do tell me I should stay away, they haven’t quite seen or come to understand the importance or seriousness of me REALLY needing to stay away. The dopamine, oxytocin and whatever really have gotten me good!!! Actually, in the springtime friends offered for us to leave the place he was at, but I didn’t want to be the one ruining it for everyone else and having to leave. :-/ So I guess maybe I just need to open up my eyes & ears and see when they are trying to help me!
libelle, good point about the list! I will continue to add to it and remind myself of other stunts he has pulled on me. I know there are more. It is easy to remember the good stuff and we’ll block out so much of the bad as long as we can…
Rosa… thanks… I will certainly be wary who I speak to about this around here, if anyone. Like I said… small town, and a close group of friends. Although I trust them, you just never know who might slip up and say something. Or even myself if I get too comfortable talking about it, I have a cocktail some night and blab to one of HIS guy friends what I really think of him and then I will look crazy and I’m sure the games will begin again once it gets back to him. I did speak with one friend about it initially, because she has always been a great observer and a very feeling person. She said she has watched him watch me, and she said it was like the Wolf and Red Riding Hood, always waiting for the just the right opportunity. I feel like she knows there is something not right with how he behaves so I had hoped she would understand and not think I was “losing it” or going to extremes. I doubt I will bring it up to her again; like I said I do trust her not to say anything to HIM. But I don’t know if she can totally understand and as you’ve all suggested not to say anything – I will take your advice from firsthand experience!
Oh, and I do certainly hope I will have no problem moving on. I don’t want to be that girl that needs a guy’s attention so I hope that even not having a new guy waiting in the wings to distract me, I will be strong enough to do this!! You all sound very strong, so I will continue reading your stories and building my own strength from these experiences!!
Thanks again. I suppose I will do some more reading to gain as much knowledge and power as possible!! And hopefully I will soon find a way to support all of you and know your stories as well.
Liz,
Read women who love psychopaths; you fit the description of the women, and the reasons i say this will surprise you. Especially if you have a cycle of picking psycho friends and boyfriends, which it sounds like you do (so do i btw, and most of us here). Once you know why you are suseptible to their charms, it makes it easier to stop the psycho cycle; it did for me anyway…