Evil exists. If you need proof, just look at the horrific case of little Charleeni Ferreira.
Charleeni, age 10, of Philadelphia, Pa., died on October 21, 2009. Her father, Domingo Ferreira, 53, and stepmother Margarita Garabito, 43, were charged with murder and endangering the welfare of a child.
So how bad was the abuse? The police called it “torture.”
Charleeni actually died from an infection that resulted from broken ribs that were not treated. She had a host of new and old injuries, including a fractured pelvis and a 7-inch gash on her head that had been stuffed with gauze and covered with a hair weave.
For more details, read Signs of Charleeni’s “torture” were hidden, in the Philadelphia Inquirer.
What makes this case so appalling is that a school nurse reported suspected child abuse. In the three years before her death, Charleeni was seen by numerous doctors, a psychiatrist and a therapist. The Philadelphia Department of Human Services (DHS) provided services to the family for five months.
Now, the DHS commissioner is trying to figure out what went wrong.
Bamboozled
Here’s what I think happened: One or both of the parents were sociopaths, and they bamboozled the child welfare workers.
The parents denied any abuse—workers described them as “hurt” by the allegations—but agreed to intervention anyway. After a period of supervision, child welfare workers closed the case. They also recommended that Charleeni’s parents contact a legal aid agency if the school nurse continued to complain about child abuse.
Charleeni herself was also terrorized and manipulated. She told a doctor at St. Christopher’s Hospital for Children that her family treated her “like a princess.” Welts on her hand occurred when she accidentally stabbed herself with a pencil in the dark. She and her parents always had explanations for her injuries, although they didn’t always match.
Perpetrators
Police apparently believe that the stepmother, Margarita Garabito, was the main perpetrator. But the father, Domingo Ferreira, didn’t stop her. In fact, he showed no remorse and fell asleep in the police interview room. Then, Ferreira hung himself in his jail cell.
This, of course, is convenient for the stepmother. Her court-appointed attorney terms the suicide “an admission of guilt.”
See Charleeni’s death blamed on her dead father, in the Philadelphia Inquirer.
I don’t know who initiated the child abuse. Women can be abusive sociopaths. They can also be accomplices, under the control of male sociopaths.
Evil exists
So what’s the lesson here?
Evil exists, but it can be concealed by seemingly plausible explanations.
Evil exists, but it can be disguised by expressions of concern.
Evil exists, but victims can be too terrorized to speak of it.
People who are in a position to see signs of child abuse—doctors, teachers, social workers—need to understand that evil does not want to be discovered, so they must pay close attention to any small clues.
UPDATE on Charlenni:
Poor Charlenni Ferreira allegedly died from wounds suffered during child abuse at the hands of her step mother.
“She has to be in heaven, she has to be an angel, because her life on Earth was a living hell,” said Municipal Court Judge Patrick F. Dugan.
The mother, Margarita Garabito, appeared for a preliminary hearing on Tuesday. For more:
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/homepage/81300382.html
Dear Donna,
Thanks for keeping LF readers updated on this story and others of this magnitude.
I actually didn’t read the update-links, as frankly I am trying to decrease my stress levels right now, but will come back and read them when I am able. This is the very kind of story we need to keep in the front of the public’s eye, that and the one about Dr. Amy Castillo’s children’s death at the hands of their father while Dr. Amy was screaming to the judge “he will hurt them.”
These outrageously cruel practices of the Ps must be kept in the forefront of the minds of judges and the public.
Thanks.
Hi-One year anniversary of the beginning of the demise of my relationship-the day that the wife found about about A*** and I. I feel very empty and lonely today. I’m feeling really bad about myself. I made the mistake of reading about the Sandra Bullock story and it made me feel worse. She is very much as naive as I was and some of the details gave me bad memories. I hate not having anyone to talk to. I am afraid that I will never find the right man for me-I am 37 and I only want to get married once in my life. I’m beginning to think that no one that is NOT an spath or narcissist will ever want me.
Dear Erin1972,
My suggestion is that you work on yourself and being happy with yourself, and don’t worry about a man in your life. No man can make you happy if you are not already happy.
Focus on YOU and when you are in the right place, good things will follow. God bless.
E72:
I want to follow oxy’s advice with this….
It is not helpful for you to ‘romantisize’ all of the ‘milestones’ from your relationship.
Your only holding on to things that don’t matter now.
Every month will offer us some sort of ‘memory’ of a time with the spaths…..so why keep ourselves in those times….
Let it all go……when you find yourself remembering a date…..’shake it up’…..and divert your thinking…..to something for your future, something that matters in the NOW for you…..
If we live in the past, we can NEVER move forward.
If you are hoping for a nice healthy relationship for your future…….then get on with doing what you have to do for your today…….to get to that future.
Every moment you waste thinking about the past, will set your future out that much further.
Think about it this way…..IF you met the ‘man of your dreams’ today…….your NOT ready for him…..you may not even recognize him, and even if you did……you couldn’t have a healthy relationship…….because YOUR not over your past!!!
Get on it girl…..
Hey Erin….
Oxy is right. Give yourself a YEAR to devote to yourself. That is what I am doing. They say that we attract someone where WE are in our life. In other words…if you are not happy, and you feel lonely and insecure…you will attract someone with that “vibration”. Someone who has “issues”. Thats what happenned when I met my xhusb..AND exbf….Both times..I was lonely and insecure. Hannibal Lechter could have rang my bell and I would have let him in…lol!
I have met more single women in my life in the last few years…divorced…etc.. My daughters bf lives behind me. Her Mom was dating a cop from town…actually lived with him for six years and they were building a house together and planning to marry. He cheated on her with a 21 yr old and dumped her and is living with that young woman now in that big house in town. So, Maria bought her own house…and she is single since then…she is 32..has a daughter from a guy she never married when she was 19, and she goes to work and is very active…goes alot of places with friends and hasn’t even dated in the 3 yrs she’s lived nextdoor to me! Well, she did go out on a few dates..but nothing panned out. She is young and very pretty and has a great figure. She works for the chief of police and meets tons of cops and people. She is just picky now…and wont trust unconditionally.
There are many divorced women in my town alone…and they don’t have a man in their life. There are tons of people on these dating sites….alot of lonely people.
When I met my xbf..I was so happy that I had someone who I thought was a decent person…we went to dinner, movies..talked all day long. THen, I found out that he was lying about so many things….I couldn’t trust him..it was over.
Big giant disappointment.
But, I am going to be a gym rat…work on feeling good about myself…
I’ve been the queen of isolation in the last few months since my second break up with the x. But, I am SLOWLY starting to realize that its all about ME now. I am devoting the entire year to ME…I started dieting and eating only protein and got my house organized ALOT in the last two days…and will finish the mess tomorrow..(I’m achey now!)…and then I will decide which gym to join to get out of the house everyday for an hour or two in the morning….to work out and get in GREAT shape. WHATEVER it takes to get my self feeling GOOD about MYSELF.
THEN, I KNOW I will meet a good man….I just want tobehappy!!!!
Ok..I had a significant dream the other night.
THE DREAM:
I went back to work (where I worked with the x).
He walked in surprised to see me…
He tried to hug me and be nice.
At first I was feeling happy and I was about to tell him that I forgive him for lying and that I love him. I was choked up in my dream.
THEN, a student broke a glass in the bathroom in my classroom and I heard it and went running to help him not get hurt.
When I went to help this student…I thought to myself..”what r u doing?…don’t let him fool you again!”
So, I walked out of the bathroom back into my classroom. I told my x…”sorry, I’m moving on” and I walked away.
IMagine that? I almost forgot what he did and forgave him and gave him another chance…but ….the kid breaking the glass….made me think.!!!
Can anyone analyze that????
I guess it was a good dream.
Anyway, Erin….you have to refocus and its NOT easy. It takes ALOT of effort….ALOT of work. I make believe that my x is dead and what would I do?? I’d live on and make a new life for myself. I do this everyday…….forget the past….
Think of FUTURE GOALS..
Its really how I get through each day and don’t feel lonely.
Erin,
I just visited a civil war museum this week. Fascinating. It was a recieving hospital and treated over 70,000 Confederates.
Well in one room, they had decorated it for mourning by the traditions of the day. Black scarves were hung over the window treatments.
The ladies were required to wear full black and not show any skin for one year in public. This required the wearing of extravagant veils.
In the second year (because mourning took 2.5 years) they were allowed white collars and cuffs to their black dresses.
They were allowed to marry, but remained in mouring for the full time.
SO here’s a thought: If you are going to have a full blown traditional mourning, do it with all the antebellum style you can.
Hang black crepe, dress for it. Let it all out with all the trimmings. Swoon if you want! Suffer for your love until you are really done.
Now, I don’t say this in jest, I say it because it doesn’t go away until you are ready and one comment you made really hit me: That you don’t have anybody to talk to. Well, you go into a traditional mourning and people will ask. You can tell everybody you mourn for a great love and you fear that you may never love like that again. You can tell the world and the fearful secret will be let out.
There is NO REASON to trap it inside you.
A famous french poet once wrote a poem about passion for life and he wrote whether it is wine, poetry or virtue, be you drunken ceasslessly and what he was saying is wherever you are, whatever you are about, be it, do it, live it with passion.
After 12 months to have marked this very date the way you have, you impress me as a very traditional person. I encourage you to fulfill the tradition of mourning this great love and pour out all your fears and sadness until you are empty of them. Or, 2.5 years. Which ever comes first….
Do you know the story of Emily Dickenson? She was a poet who fell in love with a minister who left her and she then locked herself indoors and wrote poems to her love for the rest of her life. Have you seen Pride and Predjudice> Jane Austen shows us in her story how a woman recovers after this devastation and its a compelling story because after Willoghby who breaks her heart to peices, the heroine recovers.
Mourn. Seek out the poems and stories of the broken hearted- if this is where you are, then pursue it with all the fire in you until the embers warm but the flarings of emotion don’t burn you any more.
Go for it, be a Diva about it. No anvil will fall on your head if you do and what’s more, you will be able to be authentic in the world. Its no good pretending everything is ok in public when it isn’t. And if you display your mourning, people will recognize that Erin is still Erin, but Erin’s heart hurts. And they will give some room for it so that you don’t have to pretend that anything else is true.
Heart, we will forget him,
You and I, tonight!
You must forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.
When you have done pray tell me,
Then I, my thoughts, will dim.
Haste! ’lest while you’re lagging
I may remember him!
– Emily Dickinson
2b,
I’d say that in your dream, the inner child that wants to grow up safe and happy and not be hurt any more had quite a tantrum when it thought you might open yourself up to this again.
Good for the little you!
I just spent a week with my son. We have agreed to make the year for us. It looks like he will try to come back after going to Dad’s on the notion that it was better there and then finding out living with active alcoholism, narcissim and patalogical dominance and a bunch of roomies with personality disorders and low achievement and even canabis cards isn’t all that wonderful.
The ideas about what kinds of changes are about to run me down like bowling balls are a little overwhelming, but the idea of a year dedicated to personal growth, spiritual empowerment and healing seemed to be the right thing to both of us.
Here’s hoping we make it happen together!
Silver is right Erin…you need to mourn and it takes time. Maybe thats why I isolate myself alot since February. Grief stage. I just don’t want to get stuck in Grief…then it becomes depression…which, I guess is normal for what we’ve been through. Betrayal.
Whenever I think of being involved with someone so disordered…I know that I would never go back with him again…and thats what I am mourning…the loss of the “dream” I had that someone cared about me.
Yes, he cared on some level…but it was only to keep me happy so that I would keep HIM happy. If I fell apart then I wouldn’t want to have sex with him ….so he was “taking care” of me so that I could remain his supply. He didn’t genuinely care. So many times he said…”well, I’m your boyfriend..I’m SUPPOSED to help you” UGH! They copy and go through the motions. Its not from the heart.
So, what I grieve is having a true love in my life that is honest and cares about ME…not just himself. This guy did a good job of convincing he cared about me…but there was always an ULTERIOR MOTIVE in it for him.
ITS ALL ABOUT HIM. And, I don’t need a selfish disordered man in my life…taking care of me so that I could continue to take care of HIM.
Thats the reality. I could sit and “FANTASIZE” that he truly loved me…but ..its time to WAKE UP and I did.
So…if I feel lonely for a man…its for TRUE LOVE..NOT for him.
And, I know that if I want to find a “companion” someday…I have to work on it…get myself happy and healthy and find some passions and delve into them. Thats when you meet the right one…
This journey …this life…goes quickly. I think of Farrah ….so young….
So, I am living each day and finding happiness in something each day..and peace. I refuse to waste my time on this earth being miserable because I got involved with a liar.
Wow Silver…you are right about that “inner child” in my dream!!!! I didn’t even think of that!!! Great analysis!!! I couldn’t figure it out…all I knew is that I “caught” myself ..since he caught me off guard….and I almost fell for it again..as I did in October. OMg….I guess it means that I AM moving on!!!
THANK YOU!
How old is your son?