Evil exists. If you need proof, just look at the horrific case of little Charleeni Ferreira.
Charleeni, age 10, of Philadelphia, Pa., died on October 21, 2009. Her father, Domingo Ferreira, 53, and stepmother Margarita Garabito, 43, were charged with murder and endangering the welfare of a child.
So how bad was the abuse? The police called it “torture.”
Charleeni actually died from an infection that resulted from broken ribs that were not treated. She had a host of new and old injuries, including a fractured pelvis and a 7-inch gash on her head that had been stuffed with gauze and covered with a hair weave.
For more details, read Signs of Charleeni’s “torture” were hidden, in the Philadelphia Inquirer.
What makes this case so appalling is that a school nurse reported suspected child abuse. In the three years before her death, Charleeni was seen by numerous doctors, a psychiatrist and a therapist. The Philadelphia Department of Human Services (DHS) provided services to the family for five months.
Now, the DHS commissioner is trying to figure out what went wrong.
Bamboozled
Here’s what I think happened: One or both of the parents were sociopaths, and they bamboozled the child welfare workers.
The parents denied any abuse—workers described them as “hurt” by the allegations—but agreed to intervention anyway. After a period of supervision, child welfare workers closed the case. They also recommended that Charleeni’s parents contact a legal aid agency if the school nurse continued to complain about child abuse.
Charleeni herself was also terrorized and manipulated. She told a doctor at St. Christopher’s Hospital for Children that her family treated her “like a princess.” Welts on her hand occurred when she accidentally stabbed herself with a pencil in the dark. She and her parents always had explanations for her injuries, although they didn’t always match.
Perpetrators
Police apparently believe that the stepmother, Margarita Garabito, was the main perpetrator. But the father, Domingo Ferreira, didn’t stop her. In fact, he showed no remorse and fell asleep in the police interview room. Then, Ferreira hung himself in his jail cell.
This, of course, is convenient for the stepmother. Her court-appointed attorney terms the suicide “an admission of guilt.”
See Charleeni’s death blamed on her dead father, in the Philadelphia Inquirer.
I don’t know who initiated the child abuse. Women can be abusive sociopaths. They can also be accomplices, under the control of male sociopaths.
Evil exists
So what’s the lesson here?
Evil exists, but it can be concealed by seemingly plausible explanations.
Evil exists, but it can be disguised by expressions of concern.
Evil exists, but victims can be too terrorized to speak of it.
People who are in a position to see signs of child abuse—doctors, teachers, social workers—need to understand that evil does not want to be discovered, so they must pay close attention to any small clues.
OxDrover:
Thank you. And I agree that this child may be carrying around a great deal of guilt. I never thought of it that way.
And, she is being told that she is “bad”.
That’s why my mom and I always tell her what a GOOD girl she is. And she is.
We have already seen the displaced anger & other negative emotions when she comes to my house after I have not seen her in over a week or so.
But, I can usually turn that frown upside down pretty quickly.
That’s why I like to see her as often as I can.
The one smart thing my brother has done is INSIST that I am the one to care for that child.
And, he will not buckle on that condition.
So, thank you Jesus for that.
Dear rosa,
Doing the best we can with the cards we are dealt is all anyone can do. We just have I think to do the part that we can do and let God handle the rest. Children need love and having at least ONE person in the world who believes in them can make a big difference in a child’s life.
I have seen my friend despair about her GD and her own P son who makes this poor kids life miserable and tries to keep her away from those that truly care about her and love her, but in spite of it all my friend has managed to stay in this child;’s life to the benefit of the child who is getting old enough at 13 to see exactly what is going on. it won’t be long before this wonderful little girl can get out from under her abusive father and step mother’s control and start a life free of this kind of emotional abuse (fortunately there is no physical abuse in this case) and she is seeing both her P father, and P step mother and BPD mother for the dysfunctional people they are and is vowing NOT to be like them and to not let their devaluation effect her own opinion of herself.
So you hang in there rosa, every minute you can spend with this child is GOLD for her soul!
Thank you.
Rosa,
I had a really good thought of something you might do.
I think Oxy is SPOT on. with the guilt thing. She likely feels more guilt than anything. Because her mother makes her feel guilty for being a “bad girl”.
When shes a bad girl her mom makes her feel bad not only by what she says (to her) but what she does(to her). So she is carring that weight around. (guilt for being “bad”)
Because she is so young it is hard for her to understand her feelings. She FEELS them, but can’t define them.
Sometimes when my kids were little they might “act out” like they were mad/angry about something. BUT if I asked them if they were mad/angry they would say no. So kids don’t always KNOW how to identify their feelings.
I thought about what you might do when she is with you. And if possible, EVERY time she is with you. Teach her to define feelings. Make it fun, like a game. Shes still young enough to appreciate games….
Like that old song if your happy and you know it clap your hands….Make up riddles and songs to go along with feelings.
First make a game out of questioning her. What can we do when we are:
happy = clap our hands
Lonley = Hug our doggy (stuffed animal/favorite toy)
Etc….
What makes you happy, sad, angry, scared, lonely,? Give her simple examples of what makes you feel this to. See if she can identify these feelings first by “playing the game” with her.
Then once you know she does identify her feelings you can then try to give her ways to properly deal with them. In other words if she does “act out” at your house. Tell her it is ok to feel angry but have her tell you why she is angry. And go from there…..
Dear Witsend,
You are so CREATIVE! GREAT ideas I think. Wish I had thought of that! Kids don’t know “words” for feelings well, especially ones that are like “guilt” and “shame” and at that age, about all she can identify is happy, sad and angry. she may not even have words for angry.
I can actually remember a time when I was about 4 probably when i was stinging buttons on a thread (a great rainy day activiity for kids) and I couldn’t get it to do what I wanted it to and I was SO FRUSTRATED I wanted to thow the whole thing on the floor and stomp on it. (I didn’t act on it, but I remember sitting there with this intense feeling) I remember that FEELING but I had no words for it at the time. It was one of those things like a snap shot that you look back on and see what was really going on with you as a kid.
I can also remember shame (from second grade) and guilt as well from when the class bully was beating me up every day and I didn’t know why and I didn’t tell anyone until she broke my jaw with a coke bottle and the teacher NOTICED. LOL
Even then, the way it was handled, was to EXCUSE her because she came from a poor family and she was the youngest of 22 kids raised in a 2-room shack—and in the end, I remember feeling that I could not be mad at her, or I was the bad kid, not her.
Mad at her wasn’t okay. Hitting her back wasn’t okay either. Maybe that wasn’t the message the teacher and my parents meant to send me, but that is the one I GOT. I felt and remember feeling (I was 6) that somehow it was my fault she “got in trouble” for hitting me.
Remembering that I tried to teach my kids that feelings, angry, sad, frustrated, etc. were OK but those feelings didn’t excuse us from hurting others, but we could verbalize them. We could FEEL them and feelings were okay.
I can even remembr my kids talking to each other (out of my sight but not hearing) and telling each other “You really make me angry when you do that.” I can also remember one of them saying to the other one, “If you do that again, I will hit you and then we will BOTH get in trouble.” LOL Ah, yes, kids!
Witsend,
great idea!
Witsend/OxDrover:
Yes, I did that with happy & sad faces when she was about 2-3 yrs. old.
I would ask her a question about how something made her feel, and then she would tell me how it made her feel by drawing either a happy face or sad face.
I think we need to do some more of that, and elaborate on it a little.
Learning to identify and define emotions is crucial with at-risk kids, I think.
I should also add that she is in kindergarten now.
So, she is in school during the day.
Her school teacher and the kids in her class are all positive influences for her, as far as I am concerned.
It can’t get any worse than what’s going on at home.
Rosa,
I think they do this in pre school as well. But you want to do it more often and include hard ones such as GUILT.
If she really gets comfortable with this game, she might even tell you something she normally would be fearful to say.
Sometimes kids also blurt things out that they might never tell you when you are asking them. (such as the bruises and where they come from)
Also I am sure you know……There is a fine line when trying to overcompensate for this childs mother.
You want her more than ANYTHING to feel safe with you. But you don’t want to spoil her either. She can’t get her “own” way at your house and then take that home with her. Because she will get into more trouble with her mother. But it is VERY good that she will learn “proper” loving discipline at your house and when she is with your mom. As she gets older she will learn that what her mother does is “different” when she disciplines her.
I don’t envy you.
Witsend:
Oh yes, things have already been blurted out.
And they are all documented.
Again, it’s not enough to hold up in court, though.
And this child definitely knows the difference between my house and her own house.
That’s been established for quite a while.
My prediction is that this child will be a good little girl until she reaches her teenage years.
Then, things will get interesting. That’s when things always get interesting.
I don’t have to tell you. You know what I mean.
Hopefully, there will be enough positive influences in her life to offset all of the dysfunction.
I pray that the genetic component is not there.