Last week Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader:
I would like to expose the person who bilked me for thousands of dollars. I am going to file a claim in small claims court so there will be some public record, but I thought about having a web site that would be linked when someone Googled his name. Is this legal? If I tell only the truth about him, is that legal? I want to protect other women from this sociopath; I don’t know how. I thought if people were able to Google his name and know about his lies and deceit, they could have the knowledge I never did and could make better choices than me. Any and all information would be helpful.
Many people have asked the same question—can I expose the sociopath? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. Several different laws apply, and the laws have been interpreted differently by various courts. Here’s a brief overview of the situation regarding U.S. law.
Lawsuit for anything
First of all, there are two types of law in the United States: criminal law and civil law.
It is unlikely that you would be arrested, or end up in jail, for exposing the actions of a sociopath. Although in some states libel is on the books as a criminal offense, it is rarely prosecuted.
However, under civil law in the United States, anybody can sue for anything. Whether the person who files a lawsuit actually wins is another issue—it depends on whether it can be proven that an actual law was broken.
But here’s what you have to keep in mind: If you expose the sociopath, and the sociopath files a lawsuit against you, you will have to defend yourself whether the lawsuit has merit or not. There’s a good chance that you’ll have to retain an attorney, which is going to cost you money.
Some sociopaths love to file lawsuits. And, as we’ve discussed many times here on Lovefraud, they’re experts at manipulating the legal system. Therefore, you should ask yourself these questions:
- Is this sociopath prone to filing lawsuits?
- Does the sociopath have the resources to hire an attorney?
- Do you have the resources to defend yourself if the sociopath takes you to court?
Suppose you’ve considered these questions and you want to move ahead with exposing the sociopath. You’ll want to maximize the chances that you’ll win a lawsuit if the sociopath files one. For that, you’ll need a basic understanding of media law.
Media law
There are two basic types of law to consider when exposing a sociopath. They are:
- Defamation, which includes libel and slander
- Invasion of privacy
Libel is publication of false information that injures a living person’s reputation. (Libel refers to statements or pictures that are published. Slander refers to false statements that are spoken.)
Invasion of privacy is the publication of information, even if it is true, that is highly offensive to an ordinary person.
We’ll take a closer look at both of these types of claims. However, keep in mind that the information presented here is general. Every state in the U.S. has its own libel and invasion of privacy laws—it’s best to research what they are.
Libel
In order for a sociopath to proceed with a defamation case, the following must be present:
- Sociopath must be identified
- Statements made must be false
- Statements must be defamatory
- Statements must be published
In many libel cases, the plaintiff has to spend time proving that published statements are defamatory. Some statements, however, are considered defamatory per se, which means anyone would understand them to be defamatory. The plaintiff doesn’t have to prove the fact that they are defamatory.
Traditionally, defamation per se includes:
- Allegations that injure a person’s trade, profession or business
- Allegations of sexually transmitted disease or mental illness
- Allegations of “unchastity”
- Allegations of criminal activity
It’s highly likely that if you’re exposing a sociopath, you’ll make these types of allegations. Sociopathic behavior typically includes unsavory business practices, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity and criminal activity. So you can count on your statements being considered defamatory.
Therefore, you must make sure that your statements are true, and you can prove it. In most U.S. states, truth is an absolute defense in libel cases.
Opinions are often not considered to be defamatory. However, if an opinion includes a false statement of fact, it can be defamatory.
Some statements are “privileged.” This means that even if a statement is defamatory, the person who makes it is excused from liability. Statements made during judicial proceedings in open court have absolute privilege. Anything said in court by anybody—judges, attorneys, plaintiff, defendant, witnesses—can be reported without fear of defamation. This protection is also extended to any legal documents filed with the court.
Invasion of privacy
Publishing private and intimate facts about a person, or information that is highly offensive and is not of legitimate concern to the public, can be considered an invasion of privacy.
Information about the following are generally considered to be protected by the right of privacy:
- Private letters
- Sexual orientation or sexual relations
- A person’s health
- A person’s wealth
Public records, such as birth, marriage and military records, may be published.
Truth is not a defense in an invasion of privacy case. Again, sociopaths often engage in behavior that reasonable people would consider offensive. Even when statements about the behavior are true, you may not be protected from an invasion of privacy claim.
Invasion of privacy claims are sometimes made because of how information is gathered. If you use surveillance, a hidden camera or a hidden microphone, your actions might be considered intrusion.
Free speech
You might be asking, “What about the First Amendment?” “What about my right of free speech?”
The First Amendment of the United States protects the freedom of the press and various rights of free speech from government censorship. The First Amendment does make it more difficult for libel cases to be pursued in the U.S. as opposed to other countries. And public figures often have to prove “actual malice” to win a libel case. However, it does not mean anyone can say anything they want about a private individual.
In the past, only journalists and newspapers had to worry about libel and invasion of privacy laws. But with the Internet, anyone can publish anything, and the law has not caught up with the technology. Therefore, there are no clear-cut guidelines about what you can do, and what you can’t.
Exposure works
At Lovefraud, I know that exposure works. Four women have contacted me from Australia. They met my ex-husband, James Montgomery, who is still fishing for victims online, but after Googling him and reading my story, ditched him.
The same has happened with other True Lovefraud Stories—I know that people have escaped involvements with Phil Haberman, Lance Larabee, Anthony Owens, Patti Milazzo, Michele Drake, Brian Ellington and Bill Strunk.
Because the legal and judicial system is so inadequate in dealing with sociopaths, in my opinion, exposure is the only thing that does work.
If you want to proceed
Therefore, if you’re thinking about exposing the sociopath who victimized you, first you must weigh the risks. Is the sociopath likely to sue? Are you in a position to defend yourself?
If you want to proceed, here are some points to keep in mind:
• Calling the person a “sociopath” may be problematic, unless you can prove an actual diagnosis. Implying a mental disorder is defamation per se. You may want to skip the term and just publish what the person did.
• Make sure you can prove that any statement you make about the sociopath is the truth. Stick to the facts.
• Don’t make any threats, even facetious threats. Avoid statements like, “Does anybody know a good hit man?”
• You may have more leeway if the sociopath is a public figure. In order to win a libel suit, the sociopath would have to prove “actual malice.” For example, if Joey Buttafuoco proceeds with his libel suit against Mary Jo, part of her defense may be to claim he is a public figure.
• If you are currently involved in a legal action with a sociopath, you should probably wait until it is over before publishing anything that might damage your case. The exception to this might be criminal cases in which the prosecutors aren’t taking any action. Sometimes media attention gets them to move, as in the Ed Hicks case.
• If you’ve been to court with the sociopath, you can use anything that was part of the court proceedings—any legal documents filed, anything said in court. Get the transcript, especially if the sociopath lied and you can prove it.
• Public records, such as criminal convictions, can be published.
• If you’re building a webpage to expose the sociopath, don’t make up a cute title like, “Five years of deception.” Use the person’s name in the url. That’s the best way for the page to show up when someone Googles the name.
• Finally, if you’re going to expose the sociopath, make sure you can do it safely. If the sociopath is violent and on the loose, put your own safety before trying to save others.
Thanks Staying sane:)x, I question my Ideas about wether I should do more to ‘expose’ the S/P/N’s in my life when I read this post and comments… but I have to do what works for me though in not ‘pursuing’ them… I sure as billy-o talk when asked though! If someone ever asked me a straight question about them I have no qualms in explaining exactly what we are dealing with:)
Skylar yes we too are used as their “cloak of respectablility”, I know about that one too well, I hate that… the narc that gave birth to me, used us to make her look good when we were kids while being utterly abusive behind closed doors and still talks about ‘her girls like/do this and that’ to make new people think she’s a decent mother/person (makes me want to run in with a placard saying ‘what girls? the imaginary phsyco you had taken into care, the bully in denial or the ‘girl’ who wouldnt p**s on you if you were on fire???!’…ahem… calm down blue:))
… and the S/P used me as a ‘trophy’ (now I remember him when we first got together standing us up in front of a mirror and saying, yes, that looks lovely’ … !!) and his children as tools just like you said sky, to con new marks….YUK!
To all reading… if you are ever feeling like you/ their ‘beliefs’/ their ‘charitable actions’ are being ‘paraded’ and its at total odds with ‘indoor behaviour’… BIG RED FLAG!xxx
there endeth my rant of the day:)xxx
Matt,
I must live in the wrong state. The laws suck here!
I sent an email to the truant officer in my county and recieved a reply. Her reply:
“According to the Compulsory Attendance Laws, a child is required to attend school from the age of 6 to the age of 16. Although you do not approve of your son dropping out of school, legally there is nothing I can do to make him go to school. This is an unfortunate situation and I feel your frustration.”
I evidently interpret this wrong as he is still 16 and yet she says there is nothing she can do if he goes truant because THAT WAS my question. What they would do?
State Legislature for emancipation – Obligations of parents part.
“The parents of a minor emancipated by court order are jointly and severally obligated to support the minor. However, the parents of a minor emancipated by court order are not liable for any debts incurred by the minor during the period of emancipation.”
How would this be interpreted? I understand it as you still are obligated to support them but not pay their debts? Is that correct?
So what would the point be to encourage emancipation?
Thanks Matt.
Dear Witsend,
I hear your lfrustration!. Wow, you are still required to SUPPORT an emancipated minor, but you aren’t responsible for any debts he would build up.?????????? I thought emancipation meant you are lresponsible for yourself…emancipating him would give him the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
Oxy,
It is not only frustrating it doesn’t even make sense does it?
It looks to me by what I am reading as I sift through the emancipation “mumbo jumbo” that the laws have been changed over the years. At least in the state that I reside. Because some of the laws state: “new law” requires ect…..
And FROM what I see, I hope my son has not checked into this to much because I don’t see why ANY teenager 16 or older wouldn’t GO FOR IT!
Obviously the minor, when they file has the obligation to show the court why they wish emancipation from their parents to begin with.
And they do have to be gainfully employed. Yet it clearly STATES that parents are still by law obligated to support minor as I cut and pasted ubove to Matt.
“new law also requires the minor to include certain information showing that s/he has demonstrated the ability to manage his or her financial affairs, including proof of employment or other means of support.
minor must also demonstrate the ability to manage his or her personal and social affairs.”
I am very confused?
Dear Witsend,
Well, I sincerely DOUBT that your son could “qualify” as capable of “managing his affairs” as he is totally not managing them well, so I can’t see a judge emancipating him.
So, as long as the little darling stays lunder your roof, it looks like you are obligated to support his sorry butt, no matter what he does other wise or not, goes to school or not.
I don’t know if you read that national news story were some state (cant remember which one CRS) put in a law that you could drop off any child at a hospityal and the state would take them. It was meant for INFANTS but people came from OTHER STATES to drop off their TEENAGERS. The law was quickly changed to a child under 3-days old! LOL
I KNOW FOR A FACT, you are NOT the ONLY parent with these problems. When I went to work for the in-patient psych hospital 3 or 4 months after my son was arrested for murder, part of my job was “intake interviews” with the parents of these kids—-MOSTLY PARENTS OF KIDS JUST LIKE YOURS AND MINE—and actually it helped ME more than them, because I realized I was NOT THE ONLY PARENT WITH KIDS LIKE THIS.
I stayed at that facility for a year and a half and it was my THERAPY to be there, interact with and learn about these kids. Also seeing the anguish of lthe parents of these kids was therapy for me, because it put my own anguish into perspective. I saw how DANGEROUS these kids can be to others and to themselves, how cunning they are, and totally without conscience. Almost the entire patient population was made up of these kids, with the RARE kid with some other mental illness that was “treatable.”
The only thing these kids “respected” was superior FORCE, and the mental health “techs” who were for the most part former football players and who would restrain the kids if necessary to keep them from hurting a staff member or other patient. Before I gave notice and left that job, I had a situation in which a patient (age 15 or 16) planned to kill me, and had a weapon. fortunately he was not successful, but it did make me decide that was “God’s way of telling me” that I needed a less dangerous job, so after giving my notice, I went into home care for a couple of years where the patients were more cooperative and less violent.
I am glad, though, that I did take this job because it helped me over a very rough spot in my life. I have said several times that God put me in a position to have a job that either helped support me through a personal problem, or prepare me to deal with a personal problem. Working with head-injured patients for several years prepared me for dealing with my step-son who had a severe brain injury. I don’t know how I would have managed as well as I did if I had not had that previous experience in working with both the patients and their families of brain injured patients.
The wide variety of various jobs I had in the first half of my career, from psych to ICU, home care, etc. alll helped me when I worked the ten years in public clinics as a practitioner doing family medicine. The psych experience also helped me to realize that a good portion of “clinic” medicine is actually related to psych as much as physical medicine. It is a WHOLISTIC thing, and the entire patient, their family, their emotions, strengths and weaknesses all have to be taken into account. This is where, I think, an advance practice hurse has some advantage over physicians, is that we tend to focus more on the WHOLE patient, not just the medical aspects. I think the BEST care is with a caring physican and an advance practice nurse together as a team, with specialists as needed for referrals.
When I first got my registered nurse practitioner license (RNP) we were hardly known and not universally respected by either physicians or the general public, but over the years I have seen advancements in both the quality and quanity of what is now called an Advanced Practice nurse (APN) and the profession is more universally respected by both patients and physicians. an APN is NOT a mini-doctor, but a MAXI NURSE, though some of that overlaps with medical practice.
I had little problem putting the things I learned in my career to good use for patients and their families, and sometimes even for my own welfare, but NOW I am trying to FOCUS on myself as a deserving patient, and putting the things into practice for MYSELF. Like a lot of us, I gave too much to others, and not enough to MYSELF.
One of the good things I think about blogging here on LF is that it makes us THINK about what we are thinking and what we are doing in our lives. sometimes, I think, we don’t THINK about what we are feeling or doing, or what effect it is having on our lives unless we either journal or blog, but with the FEED BACK we get here it helps us focus.
The articles I write here are all ideas that I have gotten HERE and I’ve had to sit down and THINK about my life, my philosophy, and how I am behaving toward myself and others. That in itself REINFORCES positive thoughts and positive behaviors. So, I get as much “good” out of an article writing it as anyone else could from reading it. I think Louise and Kathy and others here who have written articles will back me up on that claim.
Oxy,
AIN’T that the TRUTH. When I read what the minor needed to propose to the courts…That was my first thought.
He would not be able to say that he was managing his affairs.
WELL my son WOULD SAY he was managing, but he couldn’t back that up. I don’t believe the judge would buy into his “lack of reality world” that he resides in.
I guess I am screwed. This gives NEW meaning to the old saying….Can’t live WITH him, Can’t live WITHOUT him!
http://www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(mrripc55z3nr4wa4utwrckad))/mileg.aspx?page=getobject&objectname=mcl-act-293-of-1968&highlight=
http://www.enotes.com/everyday-law-encyclopedia/emancipation
Witsend, based on the above links, Oxy is right.
Still, this may work out in your favor if you get him in front of a judge (under the pretense of trying to help him get emancipated) and the judge will speak with you about his behavior. Once you tell the judge everything you’ve had to deal with, there will be a court record of it. it may come in handy in the future. For instance, you can tell the judge that he has threatened to burn your house down so you would rather he be emancipated. It will be in the court record, so your son will KNOW that if the house burns down now, he will be accused of arson. That may help protect you.
Witsend,
I totally disagree with Skylar on this one, all the “court records” aren’t going to do you a bit of good if he kills you and burns the house down to “conceal” the evidence (he WILL get caught because he is not as smart as he thinks he is) and by taking him before a judge you will have poked a stick at a “sleeping lion”—JUST MY OPINION, BUT HAVING POKED A LION MYSELF I CAN TESTIFY THAT THEY NEVER FORGET, AND WORK HARD FOR REVENGE.
I think the adolescent ones are even more dangerous sometimes than the older ones, as the frontal lobe on the juviniles, even normal ones, has not matured enough for a reasonable IMPULSE CONTROL, and I think that makes them MORE LIKELY to be violent in an impulsive rage of revenge for the “innjuries” you gave them by dragging them in front of a judge.
Actually, I think the way things stand with your kid, SLEEPING in class (which is the ONLY “crime” he is guilty of now) is not going to get you in front of a judge at all. If he even suspects you are thinking about doing such a thing, I think it would “provoke” him into SHOWING YOU WHO IS IN CONTROL—-
Believe me they think they are sooooo SMART that the DUMB COPS have no chance to catch them After all, they watch CSI and know how to not leave evidence. LOL ROTFLMAO Mine left as much evidence as the stupid bank robber who wrote the note on the back of his deposit slip. A cone eyed, retarded cop could have convicted HIM! Yet he still in his prison cell thinks he is THE SMARTEST CROOK IN THE WORLD.
It isn’t about logic, Skylar, and you are dealing with someone who might as well be from MARS.
No Oxy, I don’t mean to take him in front of the judge AGAINST HIS WILL. I mean go WITH the kid to HELP him in his emancipation. Tell him, “I want to help you take the next step to your adult freedom, because you aren’t happy living with me and I want you to be happy. So lets get the forms filled out, I will go to the judge WITH you and together we will convince him that this would be best.”
When you get there, continue with your best, sincere face and tell the judge that the child is very unhappy. Describe the things he has done to show this – for example, threatening to burn down the house. Never show anger or fear. Just portray yourself to the judge as having immense pity for the child’s unhappiness. The P’s never “get” it, but the judge will.
Dear Skylar, I still think that “outing” him with the theats may not be wise even if she did go before a judge, I think telling the judge he has threatened her (which is a crime, BTW) might cause him more rage. No psychopath likes to be outed in their crimes, and will of course DENY having done it, and become more enraged.
Maybe it is my background of my own murderous P-son that “colors” my thinking, but I take threats seriously from psychopathic teenagers, and unless you are in a position that you can be totally protected from them FOREVER after confronting them, which in this case, Witsend won’t be, I think confrontation can lead quickly to RETALIATION.