Last week Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader:
I would like to expose the person who bilked me for thousands of dollars. I am going to file a claim in small claims court so there will be some public record, but I thought about having a web site that would be linked when someone Googled his name. Is this legal? If I tell only the truth about him, is that legal? I want to protect other women from this sociopath; I don’t know how. I thought if people were able to Google his name and know about his lies and deceit, they could have the knowledge I never did and could make better choices than me. Any and all information would be helpful.
Many people have asked the same question—can I expose the sociopath? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. Several different laws apply, and the laws have been interpreted differently by various courts. Here’s a brief overview of the situation regarding U.S. law.
Lawsuit for anything
First of all, there are two types of law in the United States: criminal law and civil law.
It is unlikely that you would be arrested, or end up in jail, for exposing the actions of a sociopath. Although in some states libel is on the books as a criminal offense, it is rarely prosecuted.
However, under civil law in the United States, anybody can sue for anything. Whether the person who files a lawsuit actually wins is another issue—it depends on whether it can be proven that an actual law was broken.
But here’s what you have to keep in mind: If you expose the sociopath, and the sociopath files a lawsuit against you, you will have to defend yourself whether the lawsuit has merit or not. There’s a good chance that you’ll have to retain an attorney, which is going to cost you money.
Some sociopaths love to file lawsuits. And, as we’ve discussed many times here on Lovefraud, they’re experts at manipulating the legal system. Therefore, you should ask yourself these questions:
- Is this sociopath prone to filing lawsuits?
- Does the sociopath have the resources to hire an attorney?
- Do you have the resources to defend yourself if the sociopath takes you to court?
Suppose you’ve considered these questions and you want to move ahead with exposing the sociopath. You’ll want to maximize the chances that you’ll win a lawsuit if the sociopath files one. For that, you’ll need a basic understanding of media law.
Media law
There are two basic types of law to consider when exposing a sociopath. They are:
- Defamation, which includes libel and slander
- Invasion of privacy
Libel is publication of false information that injures a living person’s reputation. (Libel refers to statements or pictures that are published. Slander refers to false statements that are spoken.)
Invasion of privacy is the publication of information, even if it is true, that is highly offensive to an ordinary person.
We’ll take a closer look at both of these types of claims. However, keep in mind that the information presented here is general. Every state in the U.S. has its own libel and invasion of privacy laws—it’s best to research what they are.
Libel
In order for a sociopath to proceed with a defamation case, the following must be present:
- Sociopath must be identified
- Statements made must be false
- Statements must be defamatory
- Statements must be published
In many libel cases, the plaintiff has to spend time proving that published statements are defamatory. Some statements, however, are considered defamatory per se, which means anyone would understand them to be defamatory. The plaintiff doesn’t have to prove the fact that they are defamatory.
Traditionally, defamation per se includes:
- Allegations that injure a person’s trade, profession or business
- Allegations of sexually transmitted disease or mental illness
- Allegations of “unchastity”
- Allegations of criminal activity
It’s highly likely that if you’re exposing a sociopath, you’ll make these types of allegations. Sociopathic behavior typically includes unsavory business practices, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity and criminal activity. So you can count on your statements being considered defamatory.
Therefore, you must make sure that your statements are true, and you can prove it. In most U.S. states, truth is an absolute defense in libel cases.
Opinions are often not considered to be defamatory. However, if an opinion includes a false statement of fact, it can be defamatory.
Some statements are “privileged.” This means that even if a statement is defamatory, the person who makes it is excused from liability. Statements made during judicial proceedings in open court have absolute privilege. Anything said in court by anybody—judges, attorneys, plaintiff, defendant, witnesses—can be reported without fear of defamation. This protection is also extended to any legal documents filed with the court.
Invasion of privacy
Publishing private and intimate facts about a person, or information that is highly offensive and is not of legitimate concern to the public, can be considered an invasion of privacy.
Information about the following are generally considered to be protected by the right of privacy:
- Private letters
- Sexual orientation or sexual relations
- A person’s health
- A person’s wealth
Public records, such as birth, marriage and military records, may be published.
Truth is not a defense in an invasion of privacy case. Again, sociopaths often engage in behavior that reasonable people would consider offensive. Even when statements about the behavior are true, you may not be protected from an invasion of privacy claim.
Invasion of privacy claims are sometimes made because of how information is gathered. If you use surveillance, a hidden camera or a hidden microphone, your actions might be considered intrusion.
Free speech
You might be asking, “What about the First Amendment?” “What about my right of free speech?”
The First Amendment of the United States protects the freedom of the press and various rights of free speech from government censorship. The First Amendment does make it more difficult for libel cases to be pursued in the U.S. as opposed to other countries. And public figures often have to prove “actual malice” to win a libel case. However, it does not mean anyone can say anything they want about a private individual.
In the past, only journalists and newspapers had to worry about libel and invasion of privacy laws. But with the Internet, anyone can publish anything, and the law has not caught up with the technology. Therefore, there are no clear-cut guidelines about what you can do, and what you can’t.
Exposure works
At Lovefraud, I know that exposure works. Four women have contacted me from Australia. They met my ex-husband, James Montgomery, who is still fishing for victims online, but after Googling him and reading my story, ditched him.
The same has happened with other True Lovefraud Stories—I know that people have escaped involvements with Phil Haberman, Lance Larabee, Anthony Owens, Patti Milazzo, Michele Drake, Brian Ellington and Bill Strunk.
Because the legal and judicial system is so inadequate in dealing with sociopaths, in my opinion, exposure is the only thing that does work.
If you want to proceed
Therefore, if you’re thinking about exposing the sociopath who victimized you, first you must weigh the risks. Is the sociopath likely to sue? Are you in a position to defend yourself?
If you want to proceed, here are some points to keep in mind:
• Calling the person a “sociopath” may be problematic, unless you can prove an actual diagnosis. Implying a mental disorder is defamation per se. You may want to skip the term and just publish what the person did.
• Make sure you can prove that any statement you make about the sociopath is the truth. Stick to the facts.
• Don’t make any threats, even facetious threats. Avoid statements like, “Does anybody know a good hit man?”
• You may have more leeway if the sociopath is a public figure. In order to win a libel suit, the sociopath would have to prove “actual malice.” For example, if Joey Buttafuoco proceeds with his libel suit against Mary Jo, part of her defense may be to claim he is a public figure.
• If you are currently involved in a legal action with a sociopath, you should probably wait until it is over before publishing anything that might damage your case. The exception to this might be criminal cases in which the prosecutors aren’t taking any action. Sometimes media attention gets them to move, as in the Ed Hicks case.
• If you’ve been to court with the sociopath, you can use anything that was part of the court proceedings—any legal documents filed, anything said in court. Get the transcript, especially if the sociopath lied and you can prove it.
• Public records, such as criminal convictions, can be published.
• If you’re building a webpage to expose the sociopath, don’t make up a cute title like, “Five years of deception.” Use the person’s name in the url. That’s the best way for the page to show up when someone Googles the name.
• Finally, if you’re going to expose the sociopath, make sure you can do it safely. If the sociopath is violent and on the loose, put your own safety before trying to save others.
ps: When I caught my P-son with a stolen gun when he was 17 (the school cop notified me) he ran away and I immediately reported him as a “run away”—he and his friend that he ran with (a foster kid of mine) stole a motorcycle and damaaged it. the owner of the motorcycle was going to sue ME because in Florida parents are responsible for damages done by their children…however, because I had reported him as a runaway, therefore NOT UNDER MY CONTROL, I did not have to pay for the damages done to his motorcycle, which actually were very minor.
A day and a half later, when the cops caught them, with the motorcycle, I sent the foster kid away, and my son was put on probation and had to go to therapy—which he convinced the therapist I was a “bad parent” and he totally REFUSED to comply with curfew and so on, and though I called his probation officer and the therapist, I got NO COOPERATION.
Eventually, he talked his 19 yr old brother, C, into renting them an apartment and they moved out. Within two weeks, he had robbed our friends’ business (using our cars which he stole and hot wired in the middle of the night) to carry his stolen loot, he already had another stolen motorcycle but couldn’t carry the loot on the motorcycle.
When we went out that morning and found our cars HOT we knew they had been driven, and had no problem “figuring out” WHO had driven them and returned them to us—-LOL–so went to the apartment and found the loot. Then called the cops, which resulted in BOTH my sons being arrested, the innocent with the guilty. However, son C was NOT prosecuted thank God and his arrest was expunged from the records.
1
I just read your PS.
I can see that you tend to take the bull by the horns. I’m more of a passive aggressive. But I think that we both see the need to keep everything out in the light of day. The more light you throw on them, the more they have to hide. they’re like vampires – working at night and in the dark.
skylar,
Did you notice that my state had the extra “crap” attatched to the emancipation in that link you gave me?
I don’t know….Call me paranoid. But I do FEAR this kid. Its hard to admit, as a parent, but I do.
What I fear the MOST is his inability to connect his words to his actions. His lies are his truth.
What he says is HIS reality. And in his world what he DOES means absolutely nothing.
My first reaction when he said this to me (setting the house on fire) was to report it at least to the police. Like you say to have it on record.
But my next thought was…..What if they picked him up to question him about this?
Is this in my best interest or not? Of course he would deny it But it would certainly piss him off.
I DO honestly believe that teenagers with these S/P traits can possibly be more dangerous than an adult. And the reaon I believe that is because they don’t have enough ” life experience” behind them. They do not have impulse control. And he does NOT think like a coward because he is still young enough and arrogant enough to believe he can do ANYTHING. Even normal/average teenagers don’t have fear for alot of things. They think they are invincible.
Does that make sense? It does to me although I am also emotionally involved. So that doesn’t help matters any.
And I think I read somewhere that pathological liars can pass polygraphs, I guess because they believe their own lies. Sigh.
Hello LF readers (and attn Erin–in reference to one of your past posts which I cannot locate)
Yesterday I was relieved of jury duty (after 4 court days) on a high profile double homicide with special circumstances case….thank GoD!
After what I have been thru with my XN and his GF Atty who is also an N and his counsel in our 2+years ongoing divorce, I was shaken to the roots to be plopped down into THIS jury pool. It was like after my crawl to get out from one N, I am thrown into bucket with an obvious P, whose presence in the court made it very nerve wracking to be in the same room…..he was constantly scanning the prospective jurors, trying to catch their eye, and smiling a creepy smile that exuded an evil electricity to us jurors. Maybe it affected me more than others because I recognized him for what he is.
(Erin, during the voir dire and after filling out an EXTENSIVE questionnaire, the Judge asked me what “NPD’ stood for….I was shocked! I immediately thought of your post about the foot dragging in the NV courts of continuing education, as offered by the HighConflictInstitue, and how desperately it is needed to expose the courts to those with personality disorders.)
I had to explain to the Court, the prosecuting atty, and the defense atty (who happens to be the accused, he is representing himself after firing his two court appointed atty’s because they wanted him to plead guilty on insanity) what Narcissistic Personality Disorder was……unbelievable!!!!
It was the accused P himself that released me from the jury box as soon as I took a seat. I think the prosecuting atty was sad to see me go……. :-\
Heart:
HAH……You became the teacher…….see how things work out?
You touched several people, and I bet some of them go home and look into it themsleves…..
I bet the defendant was blown away…and couldn’t get you out of there fast enough!!!
GOOD FOR YOU!
We just never know when we will have an opportunity to raise awareness…..this is empowering….
Heart…..if you would have been chosen to serve, you would have done a great job, but since this wasn’t your ‘time’….you have ‘another’ job to tend to……it’s up to you to decide ‘what’ that may be.
I beleive everything happens for a reason…..
I commend you for getting up when asked and doing what you had to do……just think…..this judge may tell another judge, who speaks to an attorney, who speaks to your judge over dinner and BAM…..the word got out! SOMONEONE will be talking about juror XYZ tonight or next week, or tomorrow….or all three….
You made a difference…
This is HOW we can all make a difference…..
YEAH….heartmoon….your a star!
🙂
EB, thanks!
I like your take on it, and hope that is what will happen…… 🙂
This was of course, in criminal court. The P is arrested, accused and ready to be tried…..
Family court is the lighted stage that the N, P, and S “USE” to shine in the glory of all their fabrications…..I have found this to be so emotionally, mentally, physically and monetarily draining, that there were days when I was almost non-functional…..in numb-land…a deer in the headlights. Stealth and Covert abuse abound…..
In another post (may have been yours) it was proposed to think and act like an S, because, after all, they taught us well! And to use that little bit of “S” that is in us all, but never used….
….so I did. The XN belongs to 3 clubs, and even tho it has been over two years with me out of the residence (I now live 1/2 mile away to keep my son in the same school district), I still get calls from other “members” looking for the X, as I kept the home phone number when I moved.
So I decided to call each club, to make sure my name was not on the billing, and to remove my phone number from the roster. The first club I called still had my ph# on file, so they removed it. The second club was fine, all info was the X’s, the third and most prestigious club told me I was not on the billing, nor was my phone number, and the billing address was for an address that is 150 miles from the X’s, and I recognized it as his GF atty’s address.
I immediately knew why he was being billed at that address: to get the out of area status of a full member, but not the higher billing of a LOCAL full member……he was saving over 60% of the fees by using this far away address for billing purposes!
Hmmmm…..that can’t be right, I said. We have joint custody of our minor son, who goes to school locally, and my X has custody every other week….so I know he is here, he got our home….that is where he lives and where I pick up and drop off my son…hmmm….oh yes!…..I DO recognize that address…it’s his girlfriend’s!…..funny….I have NO IDEA why he would have the billing sent there…very strange….but thank you for confirming my information is no longer on the account…bye!
Of course I felt horrible after I hung up……NOT! 😉
Stargazer, are you out there?
flyspeck, are you out there?