Last week Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader:
I would like to expose the person who bilked me for thousands of dollars. I am going to file a claim in small claims court so there will be some public record, but I thought about having a web site that would be linked when someone Googled his name. Is this legal? If I tell only the truth about him, is that legal? I want to protect other women from this sociopath; I don’t know how. I thought if people were able to Google his name and know about his lies and deceit, they could have the knowledge I never did and could make better choices than me. Any and all information would be helpful.
Many people have asked the same question—can I expose the sociopath? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. Several different laws apply, and the laws have been interpreted differently by various courts. Here’s a brief overview of the situation regarding U.S. law.
Lawsuit for anything
First of all, there are two types of law in the United States: criminal law and civil law.
It is unlikely that you would be arrested, or end up in jail, for exposing the actions of a sociopath. Although in some states libel is on the books as a criminal offense, it is rarely prosecuted.
However, under civil law in the United States, anybody can sue for anything. Whether the person who files a lawsuit actually wins is another issue—it depends on whether it can be proven that an actual law was broken.
But here’s what you have to keep in mind: If you expose the sociopath, and the sociopath files a lawsuit against you, you will have to defend yourself whether the lawsuit has merit or not. There’s a good chance that you’ll have to retain an attorney, which is going to cost you money.
Some sociopaths love to file lawsuits. And, as we’ve discussed many times here on Lovefraud, they’re experts at manipulating the legal system. Therefore, you should ask yourself these questions:
- Is this sociopath prone to filing lawsuits?
- Does the sociopath have the resources to hire an attorney?
- Do you have the resources to defend yourself if the sociopath takes you to court?
Suppose you’ve considered these questions and you want to move ahead with exposing the sociopath. You’ll want to maximize the chances that you’ll win a lawsuit if the sociopath files one. For that, you’ll need a basic understanding of media law.
Media law
There are two basic types of law to consider when exposing a sociopath. They are:
- Defamation, which includes libel and slander
- Invasion of privacy
Libel is publication of false information that injures a living person’s reputation. (Libel refers to statements or pictures that are published. Slander refers to false statements that are spoken.)
Invasion of privacy is the publication of information, even if it is true, that is highly offensive to an ordinary person.
We’ll take a closer look at both of these types of claims. However, keep in mind that the information presented here is general. Every state in the U.S. has its own libel and invasion of privacy laws—it’s best to research what they are.
Libel
In order for a sociopath to proceed with a defamation case, the following must be present:
- Sociopath must be identified
- Statements made must be false
- Statements must be defamatory
- Statements must be published
In many libel cases, the plaintiff has to spend time proving that published statements are defamatory. Some statements, however, are considered defamatory per se, which means anyone would understand them to be defamatory. The plaintiff doesn’t have to prove the fact that they are defamatory.
Traditionally, defamation per se includes:
- Allegations that injure a person’s trade, profession or business
- Allegations of sexually transmitted disease or mental illness
- Allegations of “unchastity”
- Allegations of criminal activity
It’s highly likely that if you’re exposing a sociopath, you’ll make these types of allegations. Sociopathic behavior typically includes unsavory business practices, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity and criminal activity. So you can count on your statements being considered defamatory.
Therefore, you must make sure that your statements are true, and you can prove it. In most U.S. states, truth is an absolute defense in libel cases.
Opinions are often not considered to be defamatory. However, if an opinion includes a false statement of fact, it can be defamatory.
Some statements are “privileged.” This means that even if a statement is defamatory, the person who makes it is excused from liability. Statements made during judicial proceedings in open court have absolute privilege. Anything said in court by anybody—judges, attorneys, plaintiff, defendant, witnesses—can be reported without fear of defamation. This protection is also extended to any legal documents filed with the court.
Invasion of privacy
Publishing private and intimate facts about a person, or information that is highly offensive and is not of legitimate concern to the public, can be considered an invasion of privacy.
Information about the following are generally considered to be protected by the right of privacy:
- Private letters
- Sexual orientation or sexual relations
- A person’s health
- A person’s wealth
Public records, such as birth, marriage and military records, may be published.
Truth is not a defense in an invasion of privacy case. Again, sociopaths often engage in behavior that reasonable people would consider offensive. Even when statements about the behavior are true, you may not be protected from an invasion of privacy claim.
Invasion of privacy claims are sometimes made because of how information is gathered. If you use surveillance, a hidden camera or a hidden microphone, your actions might be considered intrusion.
Free speech
You might be asking, “What about the First Amendment?” “What about my right of free speech?”
The First Amendment of the United States protects the freedom of the press and various rights of free speech from government censorship. The First Amendment does make it more difficult for libel cases to be pursued in the U.S. as opposed to other countries. And public figures often have to prove “actual malice” to win a libel case. However, it does not mean anyone can say anything they want about a private individual.
In the past, only journalists and newspapers had to worry about libel and invasion of privacy laws. But with the Internet, anyone can publish anything, and the law has not caught up with the technology. Therefore, there are no clear-cut guidelines about what you can do, and what you can’t.
Exposure works
At Lovefraud, I know that exposure works. Four women have contacted me from Australia. They met my ex-husband, James Montgomery, who is still fishing for victims online, but after Googling him and reading my story, ditched him.
The same has happened with other True Lovefraud Stories—I know that people have escaped involvements with Phil Haberman, Lance Larabee, Anthony Owens, Patti Milazzo, Michele Drake, Brian Ellington and Bill Strunk.
Because the legal and judicial system is so inadequate in dealing with sociopaths, in my opinion, exposure is the only thing that does work.
If you want to proceed
Therefore, if you’re thinking about exposing the sociopath who victimized you, first you must weigh the risks. Is the sociopath likely to sue? Are you in a position to defend yourself?
If you want to proceed, here are some points to keep in mind:
• Calling the person a “sociopath” may be problematic, unless you can prove an actual diagnosis. Implying a mental disorder is defamation per se. You may want to skip the term and just publish what the person did.
• Make sure you can prove that any statement you make about the sociopath is the truth. Stick to the facts.
• Don’t make any threats, even facetious threats. Avoid statements like, “Does anybody know a good hit man?”
• You may have more leeway if the sociopath is a public figure. In order to win a libel suit, the sociopath would have to prove “actual malice.” For example, if Joey Buttafuoco proceeds with his libel suit against Mary Jo, part of her defense may be to claim he is a public figure.
• If you are currently involved in a legal action with a sociopath, you should probably wait until it is over before publishing anything that might damage your case. The exception to this might be criminal cases in which the prosecutors aren’t taking any action. Sometimes media attention gets them to move, as in the Ed Hicks case.
• If you’ve been to court with the sociopath, you can use anything that was part of the court proceedings—any legal documents filed, anything said in court. Get the transcript, especially if the sociopath lied and you can prove it.
• Public records, such as criminal convictions, can be published.
• If you’re building a webpage to expose the sociopath, don’t make up a cute title like, “Five years of deception.” Use the person’s name in the url. That’s the best way for the page to show up when someone Googles the name.
• Finally, if you’re going to expose the sociopath, make sure you can do it safely. If the sociopath is violent and on the loose, put your own safety before trying to save others.
ooh anf – sos posted at the same time.::)x
The Masons in the news everywhere today.
A month or so ago, I catch Justin Timberlake’s boosting the Mason Organization for all the fund raising they do (children’s burn center), what a great organization they are. This morning on CNN … big announcements about the Masons and all the symbols the Masons are responsible for in our country. Every where I turn, it’s Mason this and Mason that. Even as a child I attended the Shriner Circus with all the Masons in their velvet hats insuring safety of the parents and their children as they attended the events in our state armory. With that said, why can’t they keep their head of their lodges in check? My EX is a 33 degree Mason, Head of his lodge, was to be an upstanding citizen in his community, yet he took me for everything I worked for ($250,000.00), conned me into signing a mortgage in a house down in GA, that he lived in, not me. I was to move their after I retired. He lived there for a couple of years, then stopped paying the mortgage, pretending with the help of his criminal attorney, that I hired the attorney to get my house out of foreclosure. This head of the Masonic Lodge destroyed my credit history, took me for everything, has my 2 vehicles in his name and fake company name … they are sitting in my driveway rotting away … as my EX met some other unsuspecting woman off line, pretended he was getting his business up and running in TX, when in reality he was taking this woman out to dinner, married her, stole all my possessions from my home, left me high and dry … started his new life with his new wife, with my money and $250,000 of his investors money to start a new life in Texas.
Yes, keep pouring out these Masonic commercials on TV assuming all their members are decent, law abiding citizens…. because I know differently!
Wini,
So sorry to hear of your ordeal. I definately see how lucky I am. Everyday I can get through with what passes for a smile is a blessing. I don’t know how some of you ladies here do it. You truly are symbols of strength and inspiration.
Please remember you are here for a reason and God can use this for your good.
About all these P/S/N’s in management, chair etc. head/lead positions. It’s not that the people in the company or in the lodge have failed…they are as dupped at we are.
It’s just a testament to how convining P/S’s are. ***A healthy reminder that we are not weak or stupid….they are just THAT good at what they do.***
It’s funny I can say this because logically I believe and understand it, but I have to constantly remind myself, and so do others in my life, that it was not ME it could have been anyone…although I respect the qualities in me that made me an easy target.
Interesting outside links in the comments. I followed several of them, and “shortcut” a few. I am divided on the question posed by this post. I agree that exposing these S/P/N’s is important, but there could be fallout if someone does post the information about one of these soul-sucking demonz.
I actually used information that my guy’s now-ex N and her bf had posted in their online journals. I did “screenprints’ and pasted them in Word documents. Those came in very handy during the custody battle that raged for 3 years.
When I presented or referred to these in court, the N turned things around (! OF COURSE !) and stated, on the record, that “SO, essentially, you were cyber-stalking me…?”
I replied, “No, I haven’t been charged with that crime. You have every right to put whatever you want out on the internet. Conversely, I have EVERY RIGHT, ALSO, to find whatever you have posted on the internet…”
The judge kinda smiled, because my comment (FINALLY) shut the “N” up for a minute. She kept wanting to pick pick pick – and I almost, but not quite lost my cool; a couple deep breaths, while the N fixed her basilisk, empty STARE (you know the one!) on me – I can STARE, too…especially to buy much needed “grace.”
Anyway, on to happier things, now that custody has transferred to us, and the youngun is settled into his new school and scouting.
I’m back in school – YAY! Finishing up the community college level, for transfer to 4 year next summer. My intended majors are Psychology and Criminal Justice (a double Bachelors).
I miss my Tuesday mornings, ferreting through the LF blog, and have had to fit it in where I can, due to the amount of homework and regular out-of-class study time I’m putting in.
I will keep reading, though, because there are ALWAYS great comments and insights to be had on here.
~j~
Donna
Important information. You saved women from going down a dark path with James Montgomery, that is powerful…you can sleep at night.
I dearly wish I could warn my ex bf P’s next victim, no one deserves to go through a deception like HIM.
angering the beast and getting demolished due to bad support systems is a risk I’m not willing to take. He has left me exhausted and ill.
Blueskies rings true
‘YOU are still getting (emotionally) involved. You are still ’in the game’.
But the information keeps flooding my mind, something keeps me returning to this dilemma…it’s an important one.
If there was a stronger network of support and enlightenment more of us would take the chance. We are on the cusp of something huge when we write, inform, encourage and expose the psychopath….something huge.
I often think that’s why we met them, in a way we were able for them and can lead the way forward in alerting, educating and informing others…there are many ways to expose them AS WELL AS specific exposure.
find a way to do that, whether it’s Exposing him bare faced, talking to people about our experiences, taking the P to court, doing a ritual to cut the ties, not only one way…but we have to find our own way…for me walking away has had its rewards, but I can’t rest in peace because
I’m not dead!
Banana, the Masonic Order NEVER advertises. They stay in the background and always kept a low profile. For them to be drumming up all these media announcements tells me that the old timers are dying out and they are recruiting new members. They need to know that not all their laundry is sparkling clean before they do the media blitz. My situation is difficult to deal with on a daily/monthly/yearly basis. I certainly don’t need this media blitz shoved in my face everywhere I turn.
As for you thinking you got conned because you are a certain type of person. Believe me, everyone is a sitting duck for the likes of them. I’m sure there are many types of personalities that were taken by these monsters … they just aren’t as open or in touch with themselves to blog on this site or discuss their ordeal in any way shape or form.
Peace.
Staying sane:)
I know for me right now the best thing is to just ‘get the hell out of dodge’
But , I have mentioned it before, I KNOW the S/P creature is manouvering himself into positions of power over vulnerable people , and it kills me.
If people like Donna hadnt have stood up and spoken out…where would I be? Its a toughy…
I did what I could, I alerted his superiors… but he had pre-emted that, they’d been told to expect a call from the ‘crazy lady’… not sure what else I could do without huge expense to myself… and with mummy narc everyone KNOWS but still not ready to get out of denial… said all I could say there too….sounds like a total cop out doesnt it….
Dear Wini,
The Masons, like every church, synagog, mosque, or any other group that is supposed to be charitable and good has a percentage of PSYCHOPATHS who mask themselves up as good members of that organization.
That’s part of the problem with looking at “groups” as this or that, good or bad, because there is not a group of any kind that doesn’t have its ROTTEN APPLES.
Plus, if we judge the group by the rotten apples, we do a disservice to the rest of the people in the group that are NOT rotten apples.
Most of the men in my family have been Masons and also Christians—both the psychopathic ones and the good ones! I also know some really great men who are Masons and Christians, so just membership in a group doesn’t make them any less of a psychopath, but it does give a “bad name” to the organization when others see them behaving like a psychopath.
In some cases, other members of the group will be taken in because the psychopathic member, they think, is a “good person” because they are a member of a charitable organization.
I went to town yesterday and ran into the wife of my childhood friend and we had a long talk. She has a son who is apparently a psychopath, and so understands my position with my own P-son. I am pretty sure her late father-in-law was a “respectable” ABUSER and her MIL is pretty much like my egg donor “for goodness sakes, AT ALL COSTS keep the family secrets quiet”
As we were talking about our P-sons, she told me that at Christmas last year her son got drunk and rowdy and she ended up calling the cops and having him arrested for assault after he pushed her down. Boy, I bet that went over with her MIL like a whore in church! LOL
Her husband (my childhood friend and still close friend) is not a psychopath or an abuser, but he is a “people pleaser” delux and doesn’t want to rock any boats. I am glad to see that his wife is setting boundaries with her P-son, and standing up for herself. It is good to see people taking a healthy stand even when it goes against the grain in the “family dynamics” of “peace at any price” or “advanced eggshell walking.”
Their other son has “turned out well” and seems to be living a healthy life with his wife and child and not buying into the family “cuilture” of “do what you want to do, just don’t let anyone know what you are doing.”
If we look around, we can find extremely “dysfunctional” people who are “upstanding citizens” and to people who don’t know what is REALLY going on in their lives, they may appear “Ozzie and Harriet” squeeky clean, but the reality is different than the appearances.
Hello from Lillian: I just had to comment. I exposed my Physcopath on “Dontdatehimgirl.com.” I only said exactly the truth and I took his picture from the Yahoo Personals site as it was already public. He took it to his lawyer but there is nothing he can do because we are in court for the exact things I stated so it is public. Google Neil Wehrlie and if you look through the search results it will be there under Don’t Date Him Girl.com You can all see what he looks like. You can even vote on his behavior. He’s had over 500 hits so far. Best of luck. I am going to have to face him for the first time in over 2 years at a mediation real soon. I lose sleep over it quite frankly because I had hoped to never see his face again. Love to all Lillian
This might autobe called something else
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