Last week Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader:
I would like to expose the person who bilked me for thousands of dollars. I am going to file a claim in small claims court so there will be some public record, but I thought about having a web site that would be linked when someone Googled his name. Is this legal? If I tell only the truth about him, is that legal? I want to protect other women from this sociopath; I don’t know how. I thought if people were able to Google his name and know about his lies and deceit, they could have the knowledge I never did and could make better choices than me. Any and all information would be helpful.
Many people have asked the same question—can I expose the sociopath? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. Several different laws apply, and the laws have been interpreted differently by various courts. Here’s a brief overview of the situation regarding U.S. law.
Lawsuit for anything
First of all, there are two types of law in the United States: criminal law and civil law.
It is unlikely that you would be arrested, or end up in jail, for exposing the actions of a sociopath. Although in some states libel is on the books as a criminal offense, it is rarely prosecuted.
However, under civil law in the United States, anybody can sue for anything. Whether the person who files a lawsuit actually wins is another issue—it depends on whether it can be proven that an actual law was broken.
But here’s what you have to keep in mind: If you expose the sociopath, and the sociopath files a lawsuit against you, you will have to defend yourself whether the lawsuit has merit or not. There’s a good chance that you’ll have to retain an attorney, which is going to cost you money.
Some sociopaths love to file lawsuits. And, as we’ve discussed many times here on Lovefraud, they’re experts at manipulating the legal system. Therefore, you should ask yourself these questions:
- Is this sociopath prone to filing lawsuits?
- Does the sociopath have the resources to hire an attorney?
- Do you have the resources to defend yourself if the sociopath takes you to court?
Suppose you’ve considered these questions and you want to move ahead with exposing the sociopath. You’ll want to maximize the chances that you’ll win a lawsuit if the sociopath files one. For that, you’ll need a basic understanding of media law.
Media law
There are two basic types of law to consider when exposing a sociopath. They are:
- Defamation, which includes libel and slander
- Invasion of privacy
Libel is publication of false information that injures a living person’s reputation. (Libel refers to statements or pictures that are published. Slander refers to false statements that are spoken.)
Invasion of privacy is the publication of information, even if it is true, that is highly offensive to an ordinary person.
We’ll take a closer look at both of these types of claims. However, keep in mind that the information presented here is general. Every state in the U.S. has its own libel and invasion of privacy laws—it’s best to research what they are.
Libel
In order for a sociopath to proceed with a defamation case, the following must be present:
- Sociopath must be identified
- Statements made must be false
- Statements must be defamatory
- Statements must be published
In many libel cases, the plaintiff has to spend time proving that published statements are defamatory. Some statements, however, are considered defamatory per se, which means anyone would understand them to be defamatory. The plaintiff doesn’t have to prove the fact that they are defamatory.
Traditionally, defamation per se includes:
- Allegations that injure a person’s trade, profession or business
- Allegations of sexually transmitted disease or mental illness
- Allegations of “unchastity”
- Allegations of criminal activity
It’s highly likely that if you’re exposing a sociopath, you’ll make these types of allegations. Sociopathic behavior typically includes unsavory business practices, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity and criminal activity. So you can count on your statements being considered defamatory.
Therefore, you must make sure that your statements are true, and you can prove it. In most U.S. states, truth is an absolute defense in libel cases.
Opinions are often not considered to be defamatory. However, if an opinion includes a false statement of fact, it can be defamatory.
Some statements are “privileged.” This means that even if a statement is defamatory, the person who makes it is excused from liability. Statements made during judicial proceedings in open court have absolute privilege. Anything said in court by anybody—judges, attorneys, plaintiff, defendant, witnesses—can be reported without fear of defamation. This protection is also extended to any legal documents filed with the court.
Invasion of privacy
Publishing private and intimate facts about a person, or information that is highly offensive and is not of legitimate concern to the public, can be considered an invasion of privacy.
Information about the following are generally considered to be protected by the right of privacy:
- Private letters
- Sexual orientation or sexual relations
- A person’s health
- A person’s wealth
Public records, such as birth, marriage and military records, may be published.
Truth is not a defense in an invasion of privacy case. Again, sociopaths often engage in behavior that reasonable people would consider offensive. Even when statements about the behavior are true, you may not be protected from an invasion of privacy claim.
Invasion of privacy claims are sometimes made because of how information is gathered. If you use surveillance, a hidden camera or a hidden microphone, your actions might be considered intrusion.
Free speech
You might be asking, “What about the First Amendment?” “What about my right of free speech?”
The First Amendment of the United States protects the freedom of the press and various rights of free speech from government censorship. The First Amendment does make it more difficult for libel cases to be pursued in the U.S. as opposed to other countries. And public figures often have to prove “actual malice” to win a libel case. However, it does not mean anyone can say anything they want about a private individual.
In the past, only journalists and newspapers had to worry about libel and invasion of privacy laws. But with the Internet, anyone can publish anything, and the law has not caught up with the technology. Therefore, there are no clear-cut guidelines about what you can do, and what you can’t.
Exposure works
At Lovefraud, I know that exposure works. Four women have contacted me from Australia. They met my ex-husband, James Montgomery, who is still fishing for victims online, but after Googling him and reading my story, ditched him.
The same has happened with other True Lovefraud Stories—I know that people have escaped involvements with Phil Haberman, Lance Larabee, Anthony Owens, Patti Milazzo, Michele Drake, Brian Ellington and Bill Strunk.
Because the legal and judicial system is so inadequate in dealing with sociopaths, in my opinion, exposure is the only thing that does work.
If you want to proceed
Therefore, if you’re thinking about exposing the sociopath who victimized you, first you must weigh the risks. Is the sociopath likely to sue? Are you in a position to defend yourself?
If you want to proceed, here are some points to keep in mind:
• Calling the person a “sociopath” may be problematic, unless you can prove an actual diagnosis. Implying a mental disorder is defamation per se. You may want to skip the term and just publish what the person did.
• Make sure you can prove that any statement you make about the sociopath is the truth. Stick to the facts.
• Don’t make any threats, even facetious threats. Avoid statements like, “Does anybody know a good hit man?”
• You may have more leeway if the sociopath is a public figure. In order to win a libel suit, the sociopath would have to prove “actual malice.” For example, if Joey Buttafuoco proceeds with his libel suit against Mary Jo, part of her defense may be to claim he is a public figure.
• If you are currently involved in a legal action with a sociopath, you should probably wait until it is over before publishing anything that might damage your case. The exception to this might be criminal cases in which the prosecutors aren’t taking any action. Sometimes media attention gets them to move, as in the Ed Hicks case.
• If you’ve been to court with the sociopath, you can use anything that was part of the court proceedings—any legal documents filed, anything said in court. Get the transcript, especially if the sociopath lied and you can prove it.
• Public records, such as criminal convictions, can be published.
• If you’re building a webpage to expose the sociopath, don’t make up a cute title like, “Five years of deception.” Use the person’s name in the url. That’s the best way for the page to show up when someone Googles the name.
• Finally, if you’re going to expose the sociopath, make sure you can do it safely. If the sociopath is violent and on the loose, put your own safety before trying to save others.
Skylar,
This email is the whole reason you should not be in contact with him……ever!
Don’t engage.
Ever!
skylar:
I’m going to speak to you now as a lawyer – do not respond to this in any manner – voicemail, email, smoke signals – nothing.
That said, if you haven’t done so already, you have got to get a grip and contact a lawyer. Every day you let slide by is another day S can manipulate things in his favor. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — he who wins the race to the courthouse wins. If he files suit first, seeking an interest in your property, you will be stuck proving he doesn’t. Far better for you to take the initiative and see a lawyer and have him write a letter telling S exactly what he can do with his proposals, threats, threatened lawsuits, claims on your property, etc. I suspect a good letter will run him off.
But, if you continue to let this slide, and continue to waste time listening to his drivel, and he files a lawsuit, you are going to be forced to spend a lot more dinero to get rid of him. And I will guaranty that a judge will FORCE you to write him a check to settle this. Not that that is a just result in any way — nor is it justice for that matter. But, once a case is on the docket and before a judge, the judge is under pressure to get it off his docket. And that means he is going to strong arm a settlement. And you do realize that any settlement is NOT going to be in your favor?
So, stop listening to his nonsense — oral or written. Stop transcriing his voicemails. Get in gear and start protecting yourself. You have worked hard to pay for your house and everything else. Why the hell do you want to shell out another cent to this parasite?
1
Matt,
I did file paperwork for incorrigible last year shortly before the end of the school year. It never got into the prosecuting attorneys hand.
Unfortunately my county has implimented a new “program” (since Jan 2008) and the DIRECTOR of that program gets all the incorrigible petitions in his hands first. He then makes appointments with the familys and comes to your house for an assesment. The problem lies in the fact that this man makes his living with this program. SO he has a conflict of interest I would think making any kind of a FAIR assesment, other than each family would benifit from his program, rather than go in front of a judge. Each family that enters into this program he gets almost three thousand dollars!
So yeah, you can guess that we were “assessed” into the program.
skylar:
I’m glad you called the lawyer. Taking that first step will start making you feel in control of your life and situation. Congratulatiions.
You need to prioritize what it is you are trying to accomplish.
IMHO, the MAIN issue here is protecting your property. If you haven’t, you need to immediately make copies of all your financial statements proving he has no interest in the property, incuding your tax returns, checks, etc. Then pull this all together in an indexed file so your attorney can see wht it is you are talking about.
A second, related issue here is his taking your name off the business. How in the name of hell did he do that? Do you have equity in the business? If so, you have to protect that equity. If no, my concern is you could still be liable for business debts, etc. Also, if you are no longer deemed an owner of the business, but you are still engaged in it, this opens all kinds of issues about authority to act for the business.
Also, I would suggest in advance of your meeting that you write down, what it is you want to talk about — just the facts, ma’am, just the facts. Keep the emotion out of it otherwise you look crazy.
Next issue is the lack of responsiveness of the cops. Suing at this stage of the game is tough, because he hasn’t attacked you (yet). That said, they need to be put on notice. I would have your attorney get involved in this. Once they are on notice and something happens, then they are dead men. Also, if your local cops are not being responsive, I would go right to the governor’s office, the State AG’s office and anybody else you can think of. You pay taxes. They are under an obligation to address your concerns.
Third, his crazy-making behavior. Put aside all the insanity of “Homeland Security”. I have worked with those folks on criminal matters, and trust me when I say that they have far bigger fish to fry than an unlicensed S behind the controls of a helicopter. If he was engaged in activities that did catch their attention, trust me when I say he would not be running around flashing a doctored up grand jury subpoena. He would not only have lawyers so far up his ass they would be brushing his teeth from behind them, he would also be surrounded by his own lawyers. Now that I think about it, THOSE lawyers would be jacking you around to settle up with him, which is why I don’t think he has lawyers.
Since the judge and US marshall etc has been unresponsive, I would write a COHERENT – just the facts letter — to your US congressman’s office and request their help, telling them that your inquiries have not been responded to and what you are looking for.
My question to you – why haven’t you turned S into the FAA for flying without a license? From where I am standing, this gives you real leverage over him. I’d turn the FAA loose on him — that may send him running for the hills and out of your hair.
I still think you need to change your phone numbers, email addresses and for that matter your friends and associates. Until you turn off all the noise, every word you read, every word he speaks that you listen to, every lie repeated by a so-called friend and associate just keeps you in his hold. Until you can turn it off, you are never going to heal. His goal is to maintain control over you. He sees it slipping. That’s why his activity is going off the charts. By even giving him access to you via his emails, calls, etc, you are helping him to meet his goals — which is to keep you completely off-balance, second-guessing yourself, and driving yourself crazy and acting crazy because of his craziness. If I was your lawyer I would tell you to cut it out — for your sake and the sake of your case.
witsend:
Clearly you have complied with the terms of “the program.” You have gone for the effective parenting classes. You have run yourself in circles trying to get him to school, to study, etc. Nothing is working. I’d tell the director that there is nothing more that you can do and you need to get your son declared incorrigible or he is going to end up in the criminal justice system. If he needs proof that nothng is working, this I’d demand he set up a meeting with you, the school counselor, teachers, principals, etc. Time for him to admit his “program” has failed here and to do what he is supposed to do.
thank Matt,
Matt:
GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK!
Cut the crap and geterdone!
Great advice for both ladies.
Thanks for being here darling……your input and from a professional perspective really helps ….
A. either point us in the right direction.
B. Calm us down so we can be productive rather than chasing tails.
Thanks for the reminder to TAKE THE EMOTION OUT OF OUR BATTLE!!!!
THanks so much Matt!
Matt,
Yes, interestingly enough today I found a blurb about this program when I was googling the county that I live in trying to find information of other agencys that might get involved.
In the article it did have some percentages of how succesful they deemed this program to be because they saw a decline in people RE APPLYING for incorrigible petitions.
BUT the last time I saw this director (the end of the sessions) he made sure to tell me NOT to re apply for incorrigible with the prosecuting attorneys office. SAID that they wouldn’t help me!
I wonder if that is why they saw the decline in re application because he tells everyone the same thing?
His program likely is being monitored by the “system” because its a new program and I couldn’t afford to pay (plus many of the others there couldn’t pay) the three thousand dollars so guess who foots the bill? The county.
Wow….Since I read that article I feel like I have been duped by this guy.
I hope it isn’t to late. My son will be 17 in December and once he is 17 you can’t file incorrigible, although I am not sure why as my state says I am legally responsible until 18 years of age? In any event I am going to try and reapply. And see what happens.
witsend:
I’d reapply with the DA’s office. To bolster your case I would bring in an indexed binder with (a) a log of what you have done to show you have complied with the programs’ requirements, (b) letters, receipts, etc from people you have reached out to trying to get your son to comply. and (c) letters from the psychiatrists, etc that your son hasn’t complied. I would also make certain that the DA’s office is aware that time is of the essence.
If you don’t think that the DA’s office is going to be responsive, I would kick it up in volume. I would request a meeting with your local State legislator’s office and bring in all this documentary evidence and ask them to intervene with the DA’s Office. I would make it very clear that once your son turns 17 in December all bets are off.
I am also sure that this program receives both Federal and STate funds. I would contact both your State and Federal legislators and ask them about this situation. Also, if this program is a NFP (not-for-profit) your State AG’s office may have oversight of it, or can tell you which state agency does have overisight of it. Again, I would go to them with your experience — because I agree with you that this joker’s self-serving statistics are exactly that — self-serving.