Among the many worries parents like me have is “What will happen to my child if I die?” For that reason, I take no risks with my personal safety. I don’t ride motorcycles, always wear my seat belt in the car, and do everything I can to stay safe.
What I consider to be my worst nightmare happened to Trista Crews, mother of Miranda Wilkerson. Trista was married to registered sex offender Donald Coleman though Coleman’s offence was impregnating Crews when she was 14. In the style of Mary Kay Letourneau he married the girl when he got out of prison and fathered two more children.
The news hasn’t said much about those two who are also now orphans because Trista died a month after her daughter, Miranda Wilkerson, was born. At the time, she was married to Donald Coleman, but had filed for divorce. Because Coleman had been married to Trista he was just awarded custody of Miranda. It is also alleged that Miranda isn’t even the biologic child of Coleman. According to news reports, the couple had separated but Trista could not afford an attorney because she was supporting three children by herself.
Miranda has never lived with Coleman and has been raised by her grandparents. Coleman now lives in Georgia and reportedly also has a history of domestic violence and aggravated assault. To all those who say that the fact Donald later married Trista indicates “he took responsibility.” I say maybe but once sociopaths get their talons around a victim they often do not let go.
They also do not act based on the interests of anyone other than themselves. It sounds like Trista’s tragic life ended even more tragically and the tragedy continues to the next generation. Sounds also a bit like the life of Nicole Brown who was murdered during an abusive marriage to OJ Simpson. Although it was alleged that Simpson killed Brown, he was later awarded custody of the children.
The good news is that Florida law maker Janet Adkins has taken notice, and is considering new legislation. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to move for change, I did send her a copy of my book and wrote her on behalf of all the parents and grandparents who are fighting to protect their children.
It seems as if lawmakers disregard the rights of children every day. In our society we are so worried about the ‘rights of the criminal’ that everyone forgets about the rights of the victim. The children do not get to speak because they are young. Our granddaughters have a guardian ad litem, but he has met them 4 times in 18 months. He doesn’t know them. Their only voice is their counselor and I went through hell and high water to be able to give them that voice!! What is wrong with this picture?? Who listens to our children???
I read this article in the newspaper about this guy and it is just UNBELIEVABLE!!!! It is beyond belief and makes me think of Dr. Amy Castillo case (that you wrote about here on LF) where she warned the judge her x had threatened to kill the kids and yet the judge gave him unsupervised visitation and at the first visit he killed the children.
Welcome to the state of Florida. The worse state in the country with respect to childrens rights. My ex-spath gets 1 hour supervised visitation once a week with my baby. LOL..there is a 7-yr restraining order for violence and he has never complied with any court requirements. The scariest part is that within these visitations there are 2 monitors both females. There are 10 “offenders” and multiple children associated with this visit. SCARY!!!The worste part is that in order to have visitations there is no proof a person/child needs to provide in order to show they have had all the immunizations. LOL.. I couldnt even get my child into daycare without that info however the state will allow him to be associated with violent offenders…its sickening and for a baby dangerouse!!!!
Dear Coping,
I still am not clear on your legal status, if he has court ordered visitation (even monitored) will you be able to leave the state/city and NOT let him even know where you are so that you and your child can be safe?
Dear ox-
Right now yes I can legally leave the state, country, whatever as I have sole custodianship. My only requirement to leave (at this point) is to provide him 48 hr notice prior. Not the courts- it is the one exception made to the restraining order in family court. However once these visitations are complete Family court services will refer this back to the courts saying whether he complied or not. This is where it gets scary- at that point, especially if I don’t retain council he will/can get more. He could even make it so that I can never leave the state without his permission. I’m in a bind here and need to beat the system before it beats me. I had wanted to comply with the visitations while preparing my next move and would like to be long gone before another court date is set. This is a game to him. He wants to hurt me- he wants to win. My son cannot suffer the possible outcome.
Ox-
Although I am required to notify him I no longer have his current address..there were no stipulations made on how I was to notify him. Phone call, letter, ect. I would simply need to properly document something and get out. For right now I need to comply with the visitations as it buys me time to make my move. Furthermore I am not required to notify him where I am going… For now. However i could just stop taking my son to the visitations… But that would reflect badly on me and something could be ordered before I can get out.
Coping, Check with your attorney about this, but in some cases you can’ “Notify” someone by an AD in the classified pages of the biggest local newspaper. CHECK THIS WITH YOUR ATTORNEY and if it is legal, then that would be a way to “comply” with notification and still actually NOT notify him. But check with your attorney first.
Ox- great input. Thank you this was something I never even considered. I will ask for legal advice on the subject. If legal.. Absolutely brilliant..!
Coping, I know that for certain legal notifications, like in heirs and estates and bankrupty and some title things (abandoned cars, houses etc) you can “notify” people whose addresses you don’t have…and sometimes you can notify them in a paper that is like in Alaska where they will sure as heck not see it, but it still meets the legal definition of “notification.”
A little bit of Spathy trick there, but might as well use the law to the benefit of your case if you can.
Coping,
You can run an ad in the legal section of your major newspaper, stating your intent to move. Just give your lawyer a couple of the clipping from when it was run. Most times, they require you run the ad for 45 days, though. The good thing is, most people do not read the legals, and there are a ton of ads in there!
Move as fast as you can, and move far away!
I do know that New Mexico is a horrible state for giving some of the worst parents custody. It is almost like they pride themselves on not letting the good parent have any rights. Hell, the more criminal activity you have on your record, the more likely it is that you will get custody. It is so sick!
Oregon is terrible for that crap, too.
Arizona is not so. They seem to be a lot more protective and caring towards the needs of the child and not the parents.
I have had to move a lot in order to hide my location from my stalker (started stalking me 10! years ago!), and I just moved to a new state to protect my unborn baby. My last and first boyfriend since my divorce turned out to be a P, and I blindly stayed with him for a year and a 1/2. I had been diagnosed with infertility, so this whole pregnancy thing is a shock! I am excited about the baby, but I was terrified to think of her around him or his scary family! So, I quietly packed up everything and moved myself and my kids far away. Sneaking away wasn’t that hard as I had threatened him with the police if he came by my house again, and he thinks I had a miscarriage. I really hate lying and it makes to sick to think that I did lie about that, but I know it was the right thing to do. It is not about me. My son and my mom really pushed me to tell him this. My says asked me how long would it take before they killed the baby if he were to see her. Okay, that did it, and I told him I was no longer pregnant.
Sorry, I am rambling. I have a lot of stress that has been unwinding in me. lol.
Point is, run as fast as you can, while you still can! Hugs and stay strong!
Jen