By | February 14, 2015 32 Comments

For Valentine’s Day: The difference between sociopathic “love” and real love

Yes, there is love after the sociopath.

I divorced my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, in 2000. A little more than a year later, I met Terry Kelly. We dated for a few years, got to know each other, and then married.

Terry and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary. I can honestly say that I am as happy and in love as I was on our wedding day.

What’s different about love with a normal, caring person, and “love” with a sociopath? Just about everything.

Real love is peaceful

I don’t have the stress, drama and doubt that I felt while married to the sociopath. Instead, with Terry, I feel calm and content.

Real love is supportive

My sociopathic ex-husband was demanding and indifferent to how his demands affected me. Now when I need help, caring, or just someone to talk to, my husband is there.

Real love is teamwork

I’m not the only one working; I’m not the only one carrying the burdens of life. My husband and I are in it together.

Real love is balanced

Yes, we face our ups and downs. And when either of us is down, the other is there to offer a boost. It’s a true give-and-take.

Real love is sexy

Sex with the sociopath was exciting in the beginning and then became rote. With Terry, along with the physical pleasure I feel a deep, soulful connection, a much more powerful experience.

Real love is companionship

My ex traveled a lot (seeing other women, I later learned). Quite frankly, I was happy to see him go. When Terry travels or even goes to work for the day I look forward to his return.

Real love is happy

When I was with the ex, I was miserable. Now, even as Terry and I deal with day-to-day problems, I feel light and joyful.

Real love is easy

I no longer struggle in my marriage. I know I can trust and depend on my husband, and he knows he can count on me. We share, we laugh, we travel the road of life together, hand-in-hand.

We offer this to you, Lovefraud readers, as a message of hope. With your own healing, anything is possible.

Love to all,

Donna and Terry


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Donna- I’m glad you are in a healthy marriage. I have friends who have been happily married for 50 years. It does happen.

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