It has been almost exactly 9 years since my life as I knew it ended with the arrest of my ex-husband. I can say I am a “survivor,” but my life will never be what it would have been had this not happened. In the wake of Barry Lichtenthal, many people have been permanently damaged. Perhaps the best marker of a sociopath is the number of broken and wounded who fall on the paths of their lives. But I am lucky, as are the rest of those who survive life shared with a sociopath free of bodily damage.
I have come to understand that the bodily damage that sociopaths inflict is both direct and indirect. George Hartwig’s story gives us an example of both. It also causes us to pause and think about the issues of justice and recovery.
Before she was really mature enough to know better, Denise Richardson made the mistake of marrying George Hartwig. She then suffered years of physical and emotional torment, the stress from which I believe contributed to her early death from cancer. There are many, many victims for whom the stress of emotional abuse at the hands of a sociopath has caused physical illness- from cancer to infection to cardiovascular disease. Many victims thus die from their tragic relationship choices. Those who inflicted the stress that contributed to the deaths are never charged with a crime, and yet they, in a sense, commit murder. Sociopaths whose torment leads victims to suicide also commit murder.
The impact of George Hartwig on Denise Richardson and her family went even further. Following an argument with Denise’s mother, George shot Denise’s sister Louisa Rodas in the face; she lost an eye and she remains permanently brain damaged. Yesterday, Hartwig, now age 43, was sentenced to a 20-year term for the attempted murder of Louisa, and a consecutive 10-year term for the attempted murder of Rodas’ brother, Thomas Richardson. He must serve nearly 26 years before he can be considered for parole. Judge DeAvila-Silebi, also imposed a $100,000 fine and said she will hold a hearing on whether Hartwig, who may have received a settlement from a worker’s compensation claim, can make the payment.
Read: Lodi man gets 30 years for shooting sister-in-law in the face, on NorthJersey.com.
Denise and Louisa’s mother, BettyJean Downing- Kling, maintains a website, and posted the following on her blog, George Hartwig gets 30 years for shooting sister-in-law in the face:
DV Justice at last:
ON behalf of my daughters and their sons — I ask interested persons send letters to the Judge thanking her for her sentencing in the following case. Judge DeAvila-Silebi handed down a most fair sentence citing Domestic Violence statistics as her major consideration in making her final decision along with the testimony and guilty pleas of the defendant. It is apparent, this jurist sentenced George Hartwig to the full extent of the law within the bounds of the law, and she is to be commended for her careful, honest and thoughtful consideration of domestic violence and taking brutal offenders off the streets and refusing to fall for the defendants and his attorney’s arguments of mitigating circumstances. This Judge knows her business and we certainly need more of her on the bench all across this nation!
I, too, am glad that Hartwig received the toughest sentence possible, but why should this small modicum of justice be some unusual event that has us all writing thank you notes to the judge? Is there really any sentence here that would be considered “just” by any thinking person?
In my opinion, it is too late for justice in this case. Justice was only possible years ago when the abuse first happened, or maybe even earlier when Hartwig first manifested his disorder.
Sadly, often recovery is as incomplete as justice. What kind of life will BettyJean and her family have now that this case is finally “over”? We all wish them the most peace and happiness they can find, but we know life will not be the same as it would have been if they had never met George Hartwig.
I agree with your assessment in this case, Liane, and in the thousands of cases like it where there is never any justice or consequence for the perp.
It is a “crying shame” as we say here in the South, that this kind of justice for the victims is not an “every day affair.” In fact, though, it isn’t just the doers of domestic violence and other psychopaths that are not properly imprisoned, but the serial rapists that get out again to rape and possibly kill again, like that guy who took the photographs of you. That was a bullet you NARROWLY dodged when you were an innocent teenager.
When I worked at the Title 19 free standing community psych clinic, one of the things offered there were the “anger management classes” which were court mandated for people convicted of DV and CHILD ABUSE which I thought were a JOKE. I would occasionally still be there when the (mostly) men were gathering prior to the start of the class and I would over hear them joking about how judge X would send you to the class “if your wife’s mascara ran.” I knew a nurse who was mandated by the nursing board because one of the things she got fired from a job for was yelling at a nurse’s aid, but it didn’t change her behavior afterward. I don’t think many of the attendees saw these classes as “life changing” or “behavior changing” events.
Thanks for this article, though, at least if this guy spends 26 years at his age he will be pretty “elderly” for a convict when he gets out.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments on our story. I would like to explain why I am satisfied with the sentence and why I am thanking the judge. Unfortunately, DV laws are weak, judges sentences are often weaker here and across the nation. Usually minimum sentences are given and they are served concurrently and rarely do you hear a judge cite DV statistics.
This case was so different – it was as they should be and a prime examply for every case.
I am working hard and would ask that you and others join my in my efforts to pass Louisa’s law will will strengthen DV laws so that judges like Liliana S. DeAvila-Silebi have a cse to hand down harsher sentence- right now they can only sentence based on the laws and sentences for what is on the books. This judge gave him all that she could and she told him why!
If we want more we will have to make specific laws to give judges the ability to sentence under. I need your help to do that. To join us in this effort email me BJ@Free-US-NOw.com and put Louisa’s Law in the subject- we need and can accept donations under 501 c3 at http://www.TheMajorityUnited.com. Please get involved.
“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand: there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend; some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.” ”“Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
J. R. R. Tolkien has the talent for putting thoughts into words that I, as her representative and that of her children cannot. How could I possibly put into words our journey and all the events that brought us to where we are today? These past three years, I have asked myself, “What does the human spirit need in order to heal and move on?”
I have settled on the following, we need a safe place to share our pain and be acknowledged, we need compassion, and need to know that we and others will be protected from the perpetrator, we need accountability — someone who will hold the perpetrator accountable, we need restitution for the losses incurred by the victim, and we need justice (not revenge) but vindication — to be set free. Scars remain, but healing is sufficient so as not to continue to be held in bondage to the trauma.
Dr. Leedom,
Thank you for bringing this up. Yes, our research here on Lovefraud proves your point—almost everyone involved with a sociopath suffers some kind of physical consequences.
In my new book, Red Flags of Lovefraud, I include the results of the Internet survey that we did last year. We asked what health issues people suffered as a result of their involvements with sociopaths. The respondents reported:
92% became anxious or depressed
77% said the stress of the relationship made them ill
65% suffered post-traumatic stress disorder
That’s why it’s so important to know what a sociopath is, so we can get out of the relationships as soon as possible and protect ourselves.
Dear BettyJean,
“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand: there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend; some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.” ”“Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
J. R. R. Tolkien
That is so true, and is a wonderful expression of what victims of domestic violence endure each day, even if there is no one explosive episode such as the one your family suffered.
Repeated episodes of violence are not looked at by the courts and most judges as the serious things that they are.
Good luck in your quest for the laws to change! You and all victims and all fighters for justice are in my prayers daily! God bless. (ps. I am a retired registered nurse practitioner and I worked with head injured victims for several years so I have an idea of what she is going through, as well as the pain of those that love her.)
BettyJean,
I am so sorry for the losses your family has suffered because of that despicable man, and I commend your efforts to create much-needed change.
BettyJean,
Words alone cannot adequately cover the feelings of sorrow I have for you and your family.
Thank you for your courage and efforts in fighting for change in DV laws and mandatory sentencing. These changes are long overdue.
God Bless
Thank you Dr. Leedom for bringing this cause to our attention.
The more I learn about these disordered, the less I wish I knew.
WE are a company of people who have lived horror stories that it is very difficult to understand from the outside of the situation.
And consuming for all who are in it.
This is heart breaking and triumphant at the same time. It is an incredible story of taking back lives from the abuser and putting him where he needed to be.
I am so sad for the awful things he was able to do before this could happen. And I know that in this community, there are a lot of people who understand exactly what it was like to live in the situation.
I am reminded about being lucky to be alive. And how it has come to be that I am.
There but for the grace ,,,,
I salute you Betty!
The cost in terms of human suffering is monumental. I wish the courts saw this as what it is and acted accordingly.
It is unfortunate that more judges don’t know the statistics or seem to understand the suffering produced. This case and the one of the acid victim are only two among the many people whoa re killed or “worse” each day in THIS COUNTRY and the westernized countries. But in other countries where women’s rights are not enforced at all, it is much more frequent. Even in the UK where still 1 in 5 men of men of eastern culture think “honor killing” is justified. Even though these men were born and raised in the UK they still believe this is justified.
Again thank you. I want you to know that we worked tirelessly to write this judge and she received no less that 300 letters from all over the country and several other countries as well urging her to do the right thing. See some of the letters here: http://louisaslaw.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/help-get-justice-for-louisa/
I bring this up to show that the old adage “it’s the squeeky door that gets oiled” still stands true. If you do a search you will find that we never lead up from 12/15/08 until present.
No stone was left unturned and believe me- when it seemed as if no one was on our side and no help was forthcomming we never gave up prodding , begging, asking and annoying everyone we knew and those we never knew.
We saturated the net, we sunk to the low of showing my poor baby in her despicble condition and I pleaded asking “what if this were your daughter?”
If that is what it takes – then do it and never be dismayed because shamefully, women have given up far too easily at the first few closed doors- I am here to tell you – it takes TENACITY!
Only three women showed up in court by our side yesterday and the courtroom should have been full. What message did that send? It told me that my fight and struggle was worth it and yet so many women missed the opportunity to see DV justice hich to date has been so damned rare.
Are we so used to failure that we have given up?
I stand here to urge my sisters to never give up- never give out and never let them see us sweat! Today we have won one small step for womankind BUT- we can’t give up here- we need need to move forward.
Join Louisa and I as we ask for more victories and Justice for all women everywhere!
BettyJean,
you have my condolences for what that evil smudge of slime has perpetrated on your family.
Your efforts are commendable and I’m glad you were rewarded with some justice.
Psychopathy and other PD’s where malevolence is the central defining feature, are the root of most of the human race’s suffering. Keep on learning and educating the public. These are small steps but together, via the internet and other media, we can get there.
You have a powerful motivator, you daughter. And she is a powerful icon as well. I’m sure that is not what you imagined or hoped for her, but you’ve taken what you and she were given and you are giving back to help others. Kudos to you.