UPDATED FOR 2020
A Lovefraud reader who posts as “LadyA” sent Lovefraud the following email. At the end, I suggest how she can recover from the sociopath.
I’ve spent a lot time thinking about my experience with my spath, and how it affected me and the people around me. I have read article after article, story after story. I now fully understand what spaths do and how they do it but I didn’t understand why I don’t feel any better about it. What was I missing?
When I left my spath it was a fairly dramatic experience. He had just been sentenced to serve jail time on the weekends for an obstruction of justice charge. My mom flew into town and in one swoop we packed up everything we could get in the car and left the province to go back to my hometown. I had to quit my job over email and send a goodbye text to all my friends.
I am thankful every day for what my mom did for me. I sure wasn’t happy about it at the time but I knew I needed out and this was my chance. What I didn’t know is how much moving back to my hometown would affect me emotionally. I had originally planned on only being back for six months. Just long enough for him to move on and get me out of mind, but it has now been just over three years and I still haven’t moved back. I got settled in a new job, new friends, and a new relationship. Even after all of this I haven’t been able to figure out why I’m not happy. Until three days ago.
Pride. I was proud of myself for the life that I had built. I moved 1200 km’s away from home right after high school to a big city. I was on the fast track to a strong career in a competitive field. I had a brand new car, paid all my bills on time, and was saving to buy a house. I was independent, reliable, strong, caring, and had a really great outlook on the world. Not many people can say that at 22.
All of that was ruined by a six-month “whirlwind romance.” I’m no longer proud of myself. I feel like I have failed because I came back home with my “tail between my legs” to my mommy. I no longer have a new car because it was repossessed as soon as I got back here. I am jaded, I don’t trust people easily, and I am no longer as strong as the face I put on the outside. I’ve gained weight because deep down I just don’t care anymore. My career is now on a plateau due to the location where I live. I don’t have one reason to be proud of myself right now.
How do I get my pride back when I know what happened? I want to feel proud of myself for my life but I just have zero idea where to start. I’ve thought about moving away again, but I don’t really know if that’s the answer. How can I be proud of what has happened in my life? I’m really honestly just so ashamed.
Donna Andersen responds
Dear LadyA,
I am so sorry about your encounter with a sociopath. Although this is not a normal breakup, the good news is that you can recover from the sociopath.
Right now, however, it does not seem that way. Why? I can see two reasons.
The first is that betrayal by a sociopath is a huge emotional injury. In the beginning of your email you said that, after all your reading, you now “fully understand what spaths do and how they do it,” but you don’t feel any better.
Understanding is a critical first step to you to recover from the sociopath. But understanding is an intellectual process, something that you do with your mind. The wound you experienced is also emotional. It needs to be dealt with emotionally.
How do you do that? You allow yourself to feel the pain of the injury.
This means letting yourself cry. Letting yourself scream and wail. Letting yourself experience anger — I’m sure there is anger — perhaps by working it out on a punching bag.
This isn’t pretty, and you probably want to do it privately, because other people often have difficulty being around this. Or, you may have a good therapist who can help you.
One way or another, any bottled up emotion you have within you needs to come out.
Underestimated the injury
Next you wrote that you identified the reason that you’re not happy as “pride.” But it seems like you are regarding pride as something bad, like one of the seven deadly sins.
You had every reason to be proud, because your pride was based on your achievement. And the sociopath took this away from you.
Here is what I think has happened: You have underestimated the scale of the injury, and the severity of the betrayal.
LadyA, you were building a life for yourself. You went out on your own; you started building a career; you were moving forward.
And some manipulative, deceitful parasite, who did something bad enough to end up in jail, ruined it for you.
Not only did he cost you money and hurt your career, he corrupted your outlook on life. You’re jaded; you don’t trust; you don’t care. You are not the young person you once were all because of the sociopath.
Recognize that this was not a normal breakup after all, you had to flee your home, job and friends.
Your life was shattered. Your psyche was deflated. This is a massive shock to your system. It’s no wonder that you are still struggling.
Drain the emotion
So what do you do? In my opinion, you do exactly what I suggested earlier — allow yourself to feel the pain now, knowing that the pain is bigger than you originally thought.
So you cry. You stomp. You imagine him standing in front of you and yell at him. (Do not, however, attempt to confront him in person. This would be counterproductive.)
The idea is to drain off the negative emotion.
As you drain the emotion, a void will be created within you. It’s very important to fill that void with joy.
This may sound preposterous to you, like you have no reason to be joyful. But don’t look at the totality of your life right how.
Do any small thing that makes you happy: Go for a walk. Play with your pets. Have lunch with a friend. Listen to music.
To recover from the sociopath, it may require many rounds of draining off the negative and replacing it with positive. But with time, you’ll find that your entire outlook will change, and you’ll be able to get back on track.
Importantly, with the wisdom you gained through this experience, you’ll never fall for a sociopath again.
Lovefraud originally published this article on May 12, 2014.
High school boyfriend pursues her, then abuses her
I hear your concerns, and I have already blocked him and his wife! I suppose living here I know he can contact me if he wants to. I can’t change the email address he has as it is for my project. It is over a year since he emails me for any reason.
I am protecting myself the best I can
He knew last night that I wasn’t happy.
The interesting thing was there was another woman in the shop who he always had a sort of friendly attachment to. He was trying to chat to her. He even said to me ” I need to go and speak to jean is as I haven’t seen her for ages”
I said ” I am not stopping you”
There you have it……. We were friends, he has treated me so awfully and yet, when he took the opportunity to talk to me and ( if he wanted to) to try and make amends, he wanted to go and chat to some other woman.
If I didn’t know better I woudl say he was a sociopath!!! He thinks he is Gods gift to women. The education I have gleaned over the last few weeks has been invaluable in recognising him for what he is. It hurts like hell to realise it but I know it is true!
If ant think of one thing I want to talk to him about now, whereas before I wanted to talk to him about almost everything!
Elsa
He does not care if you are happy or not. He lacks that part of the brain , he does not know what compassion is. I think he is playing you. He talked to the other woman to show you that you are not the only one who “likes” him. I know those games. My ex used to play them all the time with me.
He lived bring a “puppet master “. Having all the minions on strings and he could play every single one of them the way he wanted to. One of those puppets was me. I had no idea about this co worker. I believed all of his outrageous lies. He looked straight into my face and told the craziest lie and I said “oh, ok”. He probably thought “wow!, what an idiot she is believing all this”. Because I was brainwashed , I was one of his puppets, I was made to think I am crazy. He was in control of this crazy mess he created. And in the middle of that was his child, his only son. For that I will never forgive him. It’s his job to ask for forgiveness from the Lord. Of course he will never do that because he thinks he is higher than God.
Elsa. I think you are still part of this guys game and he enjoys every minute of it. IF I was you I would not even look at him .
Yeah, I recognised his strategy with the other woman. He gave her a “New Years kiss” when he knew I was there, close enough to see!
I just felt contempt for hi, really. Then he turned around a Nd came bounding over to me, all cheerful. Remember the other day, him snarling at me?
Like I said, if I didn’t know better I would say he was a sociopath!!
He doesn’t know what I know…… Once over, it was the other way round!
Knowledge is power!!!
Hi Everyone, I just read Hidden’s post on the thread “How psychopathic parents affect children” (which is just below this thread on the main LF page left site). I was wondering if everyone can give Hidden some support. Thanks!
Elsa
I would definitely say he knows he did wrong the other day and when he first discarded you. I wasnt aware there was another woman in the store who may have been watching or listening to him speak to you. He was showing her that he is “cool” with women and they love him. He didn’t want to make a scene this time and have you yell at him which would make him look silly in front of her…maybe he approached you today because he “knew what he was doing” and now is trying to impress her? Yuck yuck what a slimy worm…everything is about them. He’s moving on to someone else it seems
Obvioulsy I know her too. I don’t think she is necessarily a target but I do take your point about him not wanting a scene.
Creep!!
I have no idea what to say to the doctor tomorrow. I saw her in August in floods of tears after three weeks of not sleeping and wouldn’t disclose anything about the circumstances. She was pretty concerned as she said “this isn’t like you at all”
I won’t be tearful tomorrow. I just wnat to ask for counselling and still don’t want to disclose why to her. I will be fine telling a counsellor!
We are the ones who end up feeling like idiots!
Undertheradar
“What if I’m wrong” is what I ask myself too often…when deep down I know I am NOT wrong. Not with the many lies and cheating I’ve discovered.
I can see why your ex has to appear sweet if he wants to get what he wants. How much more of this do you have to take from him?
Janedoe
I’ve seen him do things I’ve never seen him do before and we’ve been together for 14years! Anything, including crying for hours and at whim? I just remind myself of all those actors that cry during a movie or tv show – its fake!
Nwhsom
Yes it makes sense what you mentioned. It makes much more sense when I reread it.
I didn’t think he’d be contacting me again after getting married so my email stayed the same. In fact I was a bit shocked to hear from him. I assumed since he hasn’t responded back to my last message one side of me figures he doesn’t want me hurt by him leading me on because he’s married so he is staying away. I know that is not the case at all. It’s just that little voice that tries at times to tell me that. Then I have the bigger voice who knows exactly what kind of idiot he is..so at times I do battle between the two.
I guess one part of me wants to refuse he’s an a**hole.
But doesn’t it make sense that a “smart” sociopath would try to
Play his own game and outsmart others by being the opposite of an S because he knows that’s exactly what he
Portrays and doesn’t want others to think that? Kind of like Elsa’s friend who approached her in a nice way instead of the cruel way they are known to be? Although he did so that last wk with her didn’t he…
Elsa’s “Frenimy” used her to portray an image to the woman he was trying to impress. If that woman wasn’t there, I have no doubt his behavior would have been different. That jerk was NOT nice, NOT respectful. That he felt entitled to insert himself into Elsa’s personal space and touch her is proof that he treats Elsa like his conquest. After all, he knew she wouldn’t slap him or yell at him to not touch! Elsa has better control that I have… or maybe my ex is right and I am just a violent nutcase…
I’m pretty sure you are the only one who thinks your ex is the opposite of a S. He’s being opportunistic. Predatory. Dominating. That’s an “S” in my book. You have described his behaviors in other posts as well, and his behavior was SO disrespectful and dominating and controlling. His entitlement attitude towards you just annoys the cr.. out of me. Think I’ll just find myself a voodoo doll and slap him silly.
He flippin well knows I am his conquest!!! That is the annoying bit! He knows where he is concerned that i haev been a good friend. He may not like that anymore and find it inconvenient that he can’t deny it but I do believe he knows it.
I called him a bastard yesterday and he said ” you’re right, but I told you that I was”
Yeah, he did!!!
And somehow he tricked me in to believeing that he would never behave like that to me!!
Well, now discarded, I know different, now it is too late and the damage is done!
I was a thinking that maybe I coudk tell the doctor that I have been duped in my project by someone. That wold maybe get me a route to the right kind of counselling. PTSD?
Hi Elsa, I think that is a excellent idea to tell your doctor that you were duped with your project and that you were looking for a counselor who deals with PTSD. Finding the right counselor is important as not all counselors are educated in abuse/PTSD. Maybe ask the doctor if he can give you a referral to several counselors that way you can call them on the phone and interview them to find out if they are educated on narcissistic/sociopath abuse before you go to their office. I found this to be helpful in selecting a counselor. Know that if you get to the counselors office and you dont connect with the counselor then find a new one. Dont feel stuck with the counselor.
elsa
Use whatever words feel comfortable for you. I tend to think he manipulated you. In my mind, duped just means he fooled you, but manipulation means he purposely mislead you while having an ulterior hidden agenda.
A professional can assess you for PTSD. I think it’s clear that you have high anxiety over the situation but I haven’t read that it’s rendering you disabled with hallucinations. Are you having nightmares about him as well? Insomnia? Those would be the things to discuss with a therapist.
Ps Friends don’t “conquest” a friend. His conquest was NEVER friendship. It was domination and control. He’s an A* of the first order.
janedoe,
Your email didn’t have to change. You only had to block him.
The purpose of NC is more than protection for you although that’s a huge benefit. It’s also to EMPOWER you, to heal your soul. You TAKE control by cutting off access to you. Whether he ever contacts you or not, it’s YOU cutting HIM off that empowers YOU. You are WOMAN, hear You ROAR!
The other way to empower yourself is by telling yourself the TRUTH. He’s NOT been the opposite of an S. He’s been exactly an S. His actions have been the behavior of an S, and so has his attitude towards you, as you have posted. “He didn’t want you hurt”???!!! Are you kidding??!! If that were true, he wouldn’t have cheated on you, left you, and married someone else, and then tried to make you the other woman who hurts her! He’s not smart, he’s a jerk without a conscience. He SAYS he doesn’t want to hurt you or her, but his BEHAVIOR is exactly that. Twofaced hypocrite Jerk.
Elsa
She may need to know what type of counseling you need so you may need to tell her the whole story..
Is it because you know her personally that you don’t want to tell her? Part of a doctors profession is not to discuss any of her patients histories with anyone. Perhaps you are worried about that?
You would be suprised how many people have probably gone to her for personal reasons.
You shd feel comfortable to at least give her some sort of details so she knows which direction to lead you…
Good luck x
I think it is becaue I don’t want to tell her that I beleive I have suffered something akin to domestic violence , but not from my husband! How on earth will that look?
On the other hand, I do know that there are different types of counsellors.
I rang a DV helpline the other day. I was encouraged when the lady said she understood the term sociopath. I don’t even want to mention that to the doctor!!
Grr…persistent hoovering, but thank my lucky stars Ive educated myself because of all my dear friends on LF!
Yesterday was a clear message of stalking – I think I’ll move, after I get my car checked for tracking devices…
I am still not over my ordeal. I was extremely happy this time one year ago. I was so “on top of the world” and ready to help someone financially, that I didn’t have my guard up against an oncoming SP.
July, 2013. I first met her. She proceeded to prey on me for the next 8 months! Then we had our first “date”, 4/1/14. I NOW realize why she talked for 20 straight minutes about her police officer neighbor a few doors down that she has become “good friends with”–(so, when she was finally FOUND OUT, I would be hesitant to come knocking her door down). She even snapped a couple of pics of me on our “dates” and I NOW believe, sent them to her husband as if to say, “here’s our newest sucker, babe”. She and 2 sons even went to a big parade WITH MY OWN MOTHER to gain my trust even further!
Back to the “preying period” of late 2013: I would see her almost every day for 5, 10 or 20 minutes. She always had a hug for me (which is red flag #1 I missed–gotta get those “hooks” in). She did the whole “pity play” claiming to live alone with her 3 kids, the eldest having MS (the MS thing is actually true). Apparently, she tells EVERYONE she lives alone with the 3 kids. All of her nearly 1000 FB “friends” are told the same. She constantly is trolling FB to find new victims. It turns out her husband plays right along with her con game and is in collusion with her on this long-running SCAM.
I never had feelings of love toward this extremely attractive, buxom, charismatic SP. I actually felt nothing when we would hug. I always viewed our relationship as friends, but, she had to flirt and “lead me on” in order to get thrills. I can’t stand being around people who smoke. So, of course, she did a masterful job of hiding THAT, as well. I was told “after the fact” by her co-workers that she smoked them “under the table”. I’m sure it was a thrill for her to get away with it all those months. That’s what SPs do. They “become” everything you want in a partner. (non-smoker, no man in her life, frugal saver, etc.—all LIES)
It was just fine to me that we didn’t continue “dating”. I interpreted her hesitation to take things to the “next level” as her focusing on her “soon-to-die child”, which I could completely understand. I KNEW the problem wasn’t ME. I have everything a woman could possibly want and a track record to prove it. Her child is living “normally” with MS, by the way. The teen HAS, however, attempted suicide multiple times because she is REALIZING what kind of mother she has. I even went to the hospital one of those times to offer support and was confused as to why SP didn’t seem phased by her daughter in the ER clinging to life.
She passed the “smell test” to me, because, she and I realized we have a friend in common, and when I asked our friend, a fine, upstanding doctor, I was told she was a good person (although the 2 hadn’t spent any time together since they were teens). The SP REALLY took advantage of that and realized she now had her hooks “fully in”.
The SP’s co-worker (and dedicated friend) took pity on her and even opened a funding website to help the SP “make ends meet”. You guessed it. Not long after, the SP accused this same lady office counterpart of stealing all the funds and proceeded to rant falsely and negatively about her on FB, causing her co-worker to go into a depression and nearly losing her own job over it. The SP hid this well because I almost NEVER Facebook.
Well, I had already made up my mind that this is the “deserving” family I would buy a car for. Keep in mind, she convinced me and the whole world that she HAS NO MAN IN HER LIFE. (A LIE)
She would often bring her totally manipulated 11-year-old son to my place in order to gain even MORE of my trust. The 2 of them convinced me that the 2004 SUV was in its “last days”.
I purchased her a nearly new ’13 Civic EX with every option available in June, ’14. You can imagine how furious I am knowing her husband is laughing right along with her at me. I even traded in 2 vehicles in the transaction. AND, you guessed it, they BOTH, I am quite sure, drive around in it SMOKING their heads off….She stopped by once and the car smelled of smoke. She made up a story about how someone sat in it and smoked….I also handed her cash in the amount of $8,000 over the 6 months.
I am considering going through with the “media interview” portion of this site. Do I use her real name? What are the ramifications of doing that? I have considered calling out her husband as a “female cat” for not being man enough to even thank me for the car. The only thing stopping me is, I have not yet, to date, confirmed 100% that he lives with them, not to mention, it would only escalate my problems. But, I am convinced he is “in on” the whole thing. $33,000 gone–in the name of helping a friend; A complete fraud of a human being.
VictimofFemale
This is fraud for financial gain. I’d contact the police fraud department. You might not get re-compensation but you’d at least help the next person from being scammed.
NWHSOM,
Thank you. Every little comment helps me. I’m confused on what to do first. Police? Private Investigator? Attorney? Be interviewed by media? Uggh! I need to find out the statute of limitations on such atrocities. I fully expect further trouble in the form of retaliation, which you can bet will be a long string of lies from her….I have had ZERO contact w/ the SP since end of 9/14….She has no kind of “hold” on me as others seem to experience. i just want to get her stopped and would LOVE to somehow “stick it to her” and HIM. I just don’t know HOW at this point.
Victimoffemale
Sad story, I’m sorry that you had to go through that and suffer the consequences of being victim of a spath.
Time heals all wounds and I’d take not’s advice and report it.
Vent away! You’re in good company 🙂
undertheradar,
Thank you. I NEED to vent. I wake up and immediately feel that “tightly caged by horror” feeling and then can’t get back to sleep. I might be teetering on a form of PTSD….I will never get out of my mind, that “devil look” she gave me once when I had just filled her trunk with groceries she scammed me out of (into the new car I just bought her, no less). It appears her “man” (husband/boyfriend–not sure WHAT he is) may just ALSO be a spath. Do TWO spaths inside a relationship lie to each other? I’ve been wondering that… What do you think “reporting it” will accomplish?
Victimoffemale
To say I’m out and proud would be a lie! I’m scared of the repercussions from assisting the detectives with 2 child sex allegations against my ex spath. At any time he could become a psycho and take us all out, no to mention the stalking that’s taking place at the moment…grr!
I’m not walking in your shoes here but I do see a lot of fraudsters outed in the media so I’d say you are best going in that direction combined with a police report – most sociopaths don’t take responsibility nor do they seek the kind of revenge that we fear, mine has been backed into a corner that there’s no escape from so it’s different.
As for spaths mating with their own kind, history shows that that kind of relationship escalates their crimes as they encourage each other and no one normal is around to stop them or keep their dysfunctional behavior in check. I know first hand that I protected my spath from himself and if I’d left before he got caught, he’d have been even more sinister in his actions than he’d been.
From my experience, most spaths are small time a*****s that think they are big time. they use normal people as a cover to give everyone the illusion of normality and don’t get involved with other spaths. Mine could pick a spath in a crowd and ridicule them which was really just alerting me to their presence – it took a while for me to see the correlation, him trying to avoid detection!
Good luck with everything.
undertheradar, Thanks….Sorry for your situation as well. I guess every blogger here, is in a different stage of recovery. I’m still in the first 4 months.
I hope you don’t feel like you are in constant fear or danger. Are you safe?
Thanks for reaching out to help. My head is still spinning as to what order I should do things….If I am not successful in getting back the car via attorney, I will definitely go the media/police report route.
A friend was able to pull up some photos of her husband on FB. Makes absolutely NO sense to me AT ALL. Picture Pamela Anderson with Junior Samples from HeeHaw. She must’ve searched high and low to find just the right goober to fully control and it must be a comfort thing for her tortured brain. i just don’t get it.
I met her first husband at the hospital and he is about the same thing, an oaf!
Then, she goes on FB DAILY and targets ACTUAL attractive men to use and gold-dig. (I was an in-person victim as I don’t FB and I’m not the only “walk-up” customer she has had)
Her most recent victim was not attractive, but she only reeled him in for fun. She would let the 2 of them hug for long, creepy periods of time JUST to control and manipulate him..She had him believing they were together for over a year and a half…..She just dumped him and he is absolutely destroyed!
His daughter and grandkid were visiting her in her office on a lazy Sunday afternoon 4 days after I bought her the car last summer. She texted me asking me to bring her a sack of food. When I arrived, they just WOULD NOT take the hint and leave.. Later, I put 2 and 2 together and realized she purposely told them NOT to leave just to get her manipulation/control thrills so I would be frustrated and storm off, which I did. Then, here came the “oh, baby. Oh, baby” texts to patch things up. Truly a sicko.
There are MANY more examples why I must do something and not take this lying down. At minimum, I will do the media thing. I just don’t know what a police report will actually do.
Victimoffemale
I’m really of the opinion (and it’s only my opinion and not necessarily right) that attractiveness doesn’t play a primary role in a scam… I’ve seen photos of the women my ex slept with and I’d have to say that “who they are” as a person plays a bigger role – they can sense who they can scam not who they find attractive.
The oaf, as you put it, may just be totally besotted with her and thinking he’d won the jackpot? We don’t really know – he might just be her constant supply of devotion while he’s busy thanking his lucky stars that he has her and might be oblivious to her manipulation because he’s been charmed? On the other hand you could be right that they are the same people? There have been plenty a documentary made about couples that cavort together…
Keep reading, as I am doing as the wisdom of the girls on here are extremely enlightening and help us to understand what they are as people – Kaya48 Jan7 Janedoe AnnettePK and Notwhathesaidofme all very wise and extremely educated when it comes to their behavior (sorry if I missed someone girls!)
I wish you well with your legal battle but remember to trust your instincts as it will lead you on the right path 🙂
To: Undertheradar, Kaya48, Jan7, AnnettePK, notwhathesaidofme, etc.
Thank you for all your help to all of us. I would like to know if anyone on this thread has experience with legally going after a spath and/or had a media interview experience.
I sat down with an attorney for about 10 minutes and he made things sound very promising to my side of the case. I’m not sure if he was just being an attorney who figures he would get his money whether I win or lose, though. I got that feeling as I walked out. I’m planning to talk to a different attorney who actually knows her from the complex they lived and worked in. He is a “family law” attorney and seems the perfect one to ask.
Particularly, I am wondering if a person’s child support/divorce decrees are available to me as public information. The spath had all of us convinced she has never received a dime of support, but I strongly suspect that is a lie, of course, as they OFTEN win these cases and STILL play the pity game for their own gain.
Does anyone know if a cell phone provider will send a person ALL of the text dialogue sent between two cell numbers? If so, I distinctly remember texts she sent me stating she has never received support, which is another reason I decided she was the one I would buy a car for.
I currently can only prove I bought her the car (20 grand) and gave her a check for 3 grand on a previous occasion. If I can prove she “won” her child support case and has been receiving it for years, along with the texts telling me otherwise, would that be enough proof of fraud?
I read conflicting opinions as to whether a spath becomes vengeful and retaliatory after having an attorney go after her and/or exposing her in the media. She relies HEAVILY on using, gold-digging, and manipulating and it would put a serious dent in her livelihood; the only life she knows. She is a rabid facebooker and would NO DOUBT go to town on me with false statements.
It’s a scary thought knowing she has just started working again as an EMT. One day last summer, she pulled up to my house and I noticed she was occupied by her phone and was reading a FB post from a man who she said called her “Psycho (her name)”….I asked what the problem was. She said she was an EMT 10 years prior and came to an accident scene where this man’s child died and was STILL blaming HER and just “wouldn’t get over it”. Two months later, when I discovered she was a spath, I realized she probably told me he called her “Psycho” for a thrill (because I didn’t yet know she IS one) and very well COULD be the reason his child died. Spaths are NOT even capable of giving a hoot as to who dies in an accident, as horrific and tragic as it may be…..yet another reason I’m about to expose her….
I can tell you this: She will one day cause a man to jump off a tall building. She’s THAT good. That is why I feel she must be stopped. She just led a man on for over 18 months and dropped him like a bad habit…He couldn’t eat forever afterward…..All for her own amusement.
What do you guys think? If I file a police report and it’s determined no crime was committed, what would YOU do next? Media? Civil suit?
NWHSOM
Thank you for being so honest..I needed that shake to wake up. I swear sometimes I get lost in this fog after having a few good days and somehow by the wkd I often feel he may email. Perhaps you’re right that I really haven’t done the NC. I thought because I had been so strict with not contacting him, deleting any pictures and all emails from him, pictures of the two of us, anything pertaining to him…even his phone numbers I don’t have any longer. I honestly didn’t even think he would email me but maybe subconsciously I left that window open “just in case” he did.
I also have some doubts as to the fact he is an S. I don’t know why it just hits me at times and maybe I try to find a way that he isn’t. But you’re right his actions lead to a big time hypocrite and an S. perhaps by saying he has done terrible things to me is his why to come to terms with himself.
Here’s a big huuuuggg for you and everyone today xoxox