UPDATED FOR 2020
A Lovefraud reader who posts as “LadyA” sent Lovefraud the following email. At the end, I suggest how she can recover from the sociopath.
I’ve spent a lot time thinking about my experience with my spath, and how it affected me and the people around me. I have read article after article, story after story. I now fully understand what spaths do and how they do it but I didn’t understand why I don’t feel any better about it. What was I missing?
When I left my spath it was a fairly dramatic experience. He had just been sentenced to serve jail time on the weekends for an obstruction of justice charge. My mom flew into town and in one swoop we packed up everything we could get in the car and left the province to go back to my hometown. I had to quit my job over email and send a goodbye text to all my friends.
I am thankful every day for what my mom did for me. I sure wasn’t happy about it at the time but I knew I needed out and this was my chance. What I didn’t know is how much moving back to my hometown would affect me emotionally. I had originally planned on only being back for six months. Just long enough for him to move on and get me out of mind, but it has now been just over three years and I still haven’t moved back. I got settled in a new job, new friends, and a new relationship. Even after all of this I haven’t been able to figure out why I’m not happy. Until three days ago.
Pride. I was proud of myself for the life that I had built. I moved 1200 km’s away from home right after high school to a big city. I was on the fast track to a strong career in a competitive field. I had a brand new car, paid all my bills on time, and was saving to buy a house. I was independent, reliable, strong, caring, and had a really great outlook on the world. Not many people can say that at 22.
All of that was ruined by a six-month “whirlwind romance.” I’m no longer proud of myself. I feel like I have failed because I came back home with my “tail between my legs” to my mommy. I no longer have a new car because it was repossessed as soon as I got back here. I am jaded, I don’t trust people easily, and I am no longer as strong as the face I put on the outside. I’ve gained weight because deep down I just don’t care anymore. My career is now on a plateau due to the location where I live. I don’t have one reason to be proud of myself right now.
How do I get my pride back when I know what happened? I want to feel proud of myself for my life but I just have zero idea where to start. I’ve thought about moving away again, but I don’t really know if that’s the answer. How can I be proud of what has happened in my life? I’m really honestly just so ashamed.
Donna Andersen responds
Dear LadyA,
I am so sorry about your encounter with a sociopath. Although this is not a normal breakup, the good news is that you can recover from the sociopath.
Right now, however, it does not seem that way. Why? I can see two reasons.
The first is that betrayal by a sociopath is a huge emotional injury. In the beginning of your email you said that, after all your reading, you now “fully understand what spaths do and how they do it,” but you don’t feel any better.
Understanding is a critical first step to you to recover from the sociopath. But understanding is an intellectual process, something that you do with your mind. The wound you experienced is also emotional. It needs to be dealt with emotionally.
How do you do that? You allow yourself to feel the pain of the injury.
This means letting yourself cry. Letting yourself scream and wail. Letting yourself experience anger — I’m sure there is anger — perhaps by working it out on a punching bag.
This isn’t pretty, and you probably want to do it privately, because other people often have difficulty being around this. Or, you may have a good therapist who can help you.
One way or another, any bottled up emotion you have within you needs to come out.
Underestimated the injury
Next you wrote that you identified the reason that you’re not happy as “pride.” But it seems like you are regarding pride as something bad, like one of the seven deadly sins.
You had every reason to be proud, because your pride was based on your achievement. And the sociopath took this away from you.
Here is what I think has happened: You have underestimated the scale of the injury, and the severity of the betrayal.
LadyA, you were building a life for yourself. You went out on your own; you started building a career; you were moving forward.
And some manipulative, deceitful parasite, who did something bad enough to end up in jail, ruined it for you.
Not only did he cost you money and hurt your career, he corrupted your outlook on life. You’re jaded; you don’t trust; you don’t care. You are not the young person you once were all because of the sociopath.
Recognize that this was not a normal breakup after all, you had to flee your home, job and friends.
Your life was shattered. Your psyche was deflated. This is a massive shock to your system. It’s no wonder that you are still struggling.
Drain the emotion
So what do you do? In my opinion, you do exactly what I suggested earlier — allow yourself to feel the pain now, knowing that the pain is bigger than you originally thought.
So you cry. You stomp. You imagine him standing in front of you and yell at him. (Do not, however, attempt to confront him in person. This would be counterproductive.)
The idea is to drain off the negative emotion.
As you drain the emotion, a void will be created within you. It’s very important to fill that void with joy.
This may sound preposterous to you, like you have no reason to be joyful. But don’t look at the totality of your life right how.
Do any small thing that makes you happy: Go for a walk. Play with your pets. Have lunch with a friend. Listen to music.
To recover from the sociopath, it may require many rounds of draining off the negative and replacing it with positive. But with time, you’ll find that your entire outlook will change, and you’ll be able to get back on track.
Importantly, with the wisdom you gained through this experience, you’ll never fall for a sociopath again.
Lovefraud originally published this article on May 12, 2014.
High school boyfriend pursues her, then abuses her
Hanalei
Yes, exposing them or telling the wife /other victims will usually result in legal retaliation . They like it watching you “squirm” in court. It gives them additional power. They play the victim and portray you as the crazy wife. I learned my lesson. 1400$ for an hour or 2 in court defending myself against this crazy accusations. Yes, I exposed him too. And it got me a restraining order. Instead of exposing him I should have served him divorce papers. Like I said, I was very fortunate to have this awesome attorney. It could have turned out really bad. Once there is a permanent injunction it would have given him so much power and control over me. Something he desperately wanted even if it included lying in court. They love to use the legal system.
Thinking about this time if my life, I feel so blessed that I am here today. I finally have a voice.
In the middle
I know how hard it is. You should have not send him a message “pleae be nice to me while at work”. You are feeding him is ego kibbles and a lot of it. Please ignore him like he dies not exist. Do you like experiencing this pain? It will not go away until you stop being his food source, he probably laughs about you. While I send messages like this to my ex he was stewing his 20 something co worker They probably looked at my messages and had a good laugh. “Wow, how crazy that wife of yours is “. I was played. You will not gain any control of the situation if you “beg” him to be nice. He feeds on your “begging”.
In the middle
I know how hard it is. You should have not send him a message “pleae be nice to me while at work”. You are feeding him is ego kibbles and a lot of it. Please ignore him like he dies not exist. Do you like experiencing this pain? It will not go away until you stop being his food source, he probably laughs about you. While I send messages like this to my ex he was screwing is 20 something co worker They probably looked at my messages and had a good laugh. “Wow, how crazy that wife of yours is “. I was played. You will not gain any control of the situation if you “beg” him to be nice. He feeds on your “begging”.
yes you are all right. i just saw him. he showed up at the luncheon today that he said he would not be able to attend. He always tells me that he cant find babysitters but here he is. I had a funny feeling he would be there. Guys I am still in love with the guy even though he did what he did to me. I will not pursue bcs he is married please understand that but i cant pretend that i didnt have feelings for him. I know he was not nice and the kind of person he is but for some reason i want to fix this and have him like me again. it is killing me that he doesnt want me anymore. He doesnt want anything to do with me except play the dice with friends game. why, why play a game with me if you dont want me at all. i hate the way i feel inside. I know people say that i was too good for him but i still want him. please someone tell me what i am doing wrong that this wont go away. please someone tell me how to get away from those feelings. I didnt bring my papers with me to the party for the guy who is retiring. I didnt think i would need them.. will this pain ever end, will this ever get better. will i be able to not want him again. if he leaves his wife i know what i will get if he comes for me but my mind wont let go. what is up with me? sorry i had no idea he would be there so i didnt prepare myself. it wasnt until i pulled up to the building that i had a feeling but i didnt see him until i was in there.
Inthemiddle, read what you have written with an objective eye. Then get the help that you need.
Listen to NWHSOM’s advice – I have 20+ years in top level management under my belt and she is right – you are going to lose your job over this.
Stop playing the m-f’ing dice game with him! Here is what I think every time you mention it – that he is laying in bed beside his wife playing it with you, while you are taking hope from a dice game!
What is up with you is you are in deep denial and you need to start to allow the professionals to help you before you let this destroy your life. And when it is destroyed? He’ll still be married, have his job, and some chicks on the side.
Harsh, yes. But truth.
He plays dice with friends with you so he can laugh about how he is stringing you along. Delete that game, NOW.
If you are too busy pining for what you can’t have, you will miss out on anything good that may come your way.
Acknowledge that your feelings were genuine, but the object of your affections was not. It is like falling in love with a movie character and not being able to reconcile that the actor is nothing like the character he played.
Inthemiddle….please please listen to everyone here. This is driving you crazy and it will not end well unless you end it.
I am hurting for you but you need to see that he is no good, he will hurt you more, he won’t leave his family for you, he won’t do anything but play on your emotions. He will use and use you for whatever he wants.
YOU ARE WORTH MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Inthemiddle, I am going to add one more thing then I’m going out back to dig a hole and fill it back in.
You say you had no idea he would be there so you didn’t prepare. You should be prepared every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week. If you are not, then you should be doing what it takes to make sure you are. Your life depends on it.
I haven’t seen my ex in 3-1/2 years and don’t really expect to. But I am prepared for if I do, be it whizzing by on the freeway, in Nordstrom, or getting on the same plane I’m getting on. We are in the same state, I give his turf wide berth, but it could happen.
Do you watch The Walking Dead? I am a fan. It hit me last episode, I am like our hero band of survivors. I never let my guard down. Not in an obsessive way, not in a weirdo way, but in a healthy way. My well being depends on it.
Ok, i need to come up with a game plan. I am done with the game yes. I will keep my guard up. and your right bcs i dont have anyone i hold onto to this hurt bcs its probably all i know. everyone is going out tonite after work i am not going. he said he would not be there but not taking the chance. I need to start working on the issues that have me thinking this way. I placed another call to the doctor abt meds. I am doing this alone and that is why i got the other therapist as the first one wasnt getting to the core. I need intense therapy right now and it sucks being by myself in my own head day in and day out. I will keep reading and printing the stuff so i can reread them. this is going to take time i am committed to fixing it just need to find out how.
Yay!
Delete that game, then go look in the mirror, right into your eyes and say “SELF, I LOVE YOU.” It will feel weird. You won’t believe it. Say it anyway.
Eventually you will be able to believe it. When you do, you will also be able to believe that someone else – someone good – can love you too.
INTHEMIDDLE….Just want to reiterate that HM has just given you some very good advice. What you THINK you want right now is not the healthiest option for you. You just want the pain to go away. Been there, done that….hundreds of times! But what you think you want will NOT make the pain go away…it will just…Maybe…give you a temporary fix but will end up giving you MORE pain in the end. Please listen to those of us who have been through it and are working our way to the other side. You are not thinking clearly right now, so please don’t trust your feelings…rather trust your heart and those who truly care and are trying to help you. Take HMs advice, as well as the advice of others who have posted here…and distract yourself with a hobby or a book or a long walk…ANYTHING
I can identify with this because looking back, I had a good number of mini discards aNd each time I “got him back” but also realise now that the time between each devaluing period decreased. So, here I was thinking all was ok and then BANG, overnight he did it again.
I think this is the final one becasue this time I don’t want him back. I wish we could be friends but if he isn’t prepared to talk about how he has treated me then I am not prepared to go back there.
All I want is not to see him and not to interact with him again. And he can think what he wants. I have realised that I never knew what he was thinking anyway so what does it matter!!!
The weekend is here……. I am away from home tomorrow , out for a meal with friends ( and my husband) tomorrow night then church and R&R on Sunday. So, as long as the ten minutes I spend in my local town tomorrow morning are spath free I should have a good NC weekend!!!
Just wish I could sleep right through the night!!!
Neveragain51, you make a great point, and that is that what we think we want when we are in the thick of it is not the healthiest option for us.
I am a ruminator from way back. I have it honed to a sublime art. I was CERTAIN that it was the way to understanding and fixing the situation, and for weeks (cough”months) that is ALL I did. I bought a book called “Women Who Think Too Much” and didn’t really read it because, after all, if I did, it took time away from THINKING.
I was sick. I was my own worst enemy.
About that time is when I started seeing my therapist and she showed me how all this rumination was hurting me and gave me techniques to stop. I didn’t want to stop, but I thought it was worth a try, and so I did stop. For about a minute. And it felt so DAMN good, that I wanted more, any way I could get it. That is when I developed my tried and true patent pending HanaleiMoon go out back and dig a hole and fill it in technique. And it worked.
I didn’t want to do it, just like Inthemiddle doesn’t want to do it. We are so used to our minds being in turmoil that, I guess, it’s comforting to us. I remember when my mind was finally clear enough to listen to music in the car again (before, it was stealing from rumination time), to read a few pages of a book and actually get lost in the story, to get in bed and close my eyes and go to sleep without hours of thinking thinking thinking thinking. It took a great effort to change, but I wouldn’t go back there for anything.
I am sick and to clarify the reason the meeting wasnt good there were only 2 of us bcs of the weather and the other person who is my only friend i have told me her sister died yesterday. I did the right thing and was there for her and listened to her to help her. I only sent him a message on the game bcs i am lonely. i miss what i thought i had and i dont have anyone. i am sad inside and i do want to stop but your right this is harder than anything i ever had to do. I got bulimia under control quick, no more shopping quick, dating multiple men, quick but this one with him this is the hardest. I am sure as i go through more extended counseling with the new therapist i will uncover more. wed was my first meeting with her so i need some more sessions under my belt to really start getting a handle on it. I am not giving up merely being honest that this is the hardest thing i have ever had to do. give up the dream that i had when i was with him and how he cared and liked the things about me no one else ever did. I felt alive, sexy beautiful, smart, wanted, picked and special. yes he did nasty things too but i got those things and no one ever spent any time with me to ever get close enough to me to even know what i liked or was abt. please ladies and guys dont give up on me bcs i dont know how to do this and i have no family and just one friend. i am so scared to be alone and not wanted again. i want to turn this off like a switch but i dont think it works that way.
I was told once that I would never get better until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Many times I thought I was to that point, but I went back…which means that I really didn’t want to let go. I never reached the bottom, despite the many times that I thought I was there. For those reading, …yes…you love him. So did I. Deeply. But you have 2 choices. Get healthy for yourself, or keep taking the abuse. You love him, but you can and will love again. It is not the end of you or your life. Until you want to be healthy…FOR YOURSELF…there is no one that can help you except you.
Think of it like an addiction, and treat it like an addiction. How many people REALLY want to give up cigarettes, or alcohol, or drugs? Most of them don’t, and they remain in the addiction for far too long, because no one can help you want a healthier life for yourself EXCEPT yourself. If you really don’t want to give up the cigarettes but are doing it to please someone else, chances are that you will not be successful. I had someone living with me that I was trying to help – as always it didn’t work out. But it didn’t work out because she was an alcoholic. She couldn’t afford medicine or doctor visits that were absolutely necessary, but it was at least one bottle of wine per night, sometimes two. She had to go to the emergency room once because of several cramps. She was told it could be kidney stones, WHICH IS DIRECTLY CAUSED BY RED WINE. Did she listen? Did she care? Did she believe the doctors? Most importantly, did she give up RED WINE? The answer to all of the questions is no. She did not want to hear that her habit, which she had come to depend on, could be hurting her…nor did she want to give up the “good feelings” that drinking provided. She was unable to handle life without the crutch. I think addiction is a strong factor in our dysfunctional relationships. We all know that they are not healthy for us…so what makes us go back to something that is hurting us? Those are the very symptoms of addiction! So OK, you don’t want to give him up because you love him. You want him back and you want him to choose you. Perhaps you feel like you cannot live without him. Consider this an addiction, because that is what it IS! It is hard to break an addiction cold turkey, but you need to love yourself enough to want something better. And you need to believe that your higher power, wherever it is, designed a better life for you than this. But you have to want it for yourself. Until you do, you will remain stuck in the quicksand…and sinking deeper every day. That is the honest truth.
neveragain51
Good messages.
The answers are easy. DOING them are not.
She loves him but he does not love her. He does not care about her. He never did. He told her what she wanted to hear. He was a scam. He LIED about who/what he was after. He IS a FRAUD. My ex did it to plenty of women, he used them to punish me for having standards. My ex had this attitude, that the women he cheated with deserved whatever happened to them because they knew he was married. Sociopaths never accept accountiblity for their EVIL, they just scapegoat others because it’s entertaining to them to watch people suffer. For my ex, it was FUNNY to watch people cry. He ridiculed what their faces looked like.
inthemiddleofheartache says what she thinks, that she is on her own. She isn’t accepting the care and friendship that is offered. I have tried to get her to think about the children. If a person can get in touch with their softer side, like what happens when we think of caring about a wee child, then we are more likely to care for ourselves.
Your statement, about getting sick and tired of being sick and tired… is the core answer.
The day I decided I was tired of the unending overwhelming pain is the day I stopped being my own worst enemy, it’s the day I stopped punishing myself for wanting to matter. It’s the day I started pursuing healthy solutions, caring, loving solutions, nurturing, supportive solutions. And until I decided to do that, NOTHING anyone else did helped me.
inthemiddle deserves better, but until SHE decides that SHE deserves better, she’s not going to care about any wee child, or friends here on LF, or …herself. 🙁
NWHSOM, I had an “aha” moment similar to yours and like you, that was the day that things began to really turn around for me. I was then ready to do the REALLY hard work.
I agree with you that inthemiddle isn’t there yet. From my own experience, for me, continuing to “talk” about it, whether in my head or to others, kept me stuck in a bad broken record. The day I decided to shift my focus away from that was a watershed moment and the improvement in my life was instant and amazing.
Yep HanalieMoon
Once I accepted that HE was disordered and NOTHING I did was going to change that, I had epiphany after epiphany. Another one… that NOTHING about ME was going to change unless I DID SOMETHING about it.
Like you said, the hard work. I had to figure out what I could do to change my state of mind, I had to shift my focus from boohooing about him to nurturing myself. I looked at my brain as a THING. So “THING”, what can I do to make you feel better. (NO drugs/no alcohol/NOthing that could make me worse).
Things I found that made me better:
I got a membership to the Fine Arts Museum and attended lectures. 1) It fed my brain, distracted me 2) Lectures were in the dark, so I could covertly people watch, and I noticed they LOOKED LIKE ME, a little weird, not pretty, but introverted. After lecture ord’rve party, I had my one question to ask, “I’m not from here, what is a work that you admire or recommend?” From that ONE question, I found people who shared a common interest and I wasn’t completely alone anymore.
BATHS. I took a lot of baths. Big Towel. Lotion. Candles. Music.
I write this because it worked for me. And I was that person who thought NOTHING would make me feel better. But I WAS WRONG. Wrong about myself. Wrong about ever feeling worthy every again. Wrong that OTHERS had to like me for me to feel worthy of being liked. (Once I liked things about myself, then there was something that others could like and I let possibilities happen.)
What I did NOT Do:
I NEVER invested so much in someone else that there was nothing left to invest in me.
Watershed is RIGHT. I was living a fkd up backwards life. Well, I only have X number of days to live and HAIL NO, I am NOT living them in misery any more. Moment by moment, piece by piece, event by event, I exchanged shame and misery for joy and appreciation. Do I have a man? No, but my friends say I’m fun, and that’s FAR better than who I was when I was married to a FN soul sucking sociopath.
I have never had an interest in drinking and even less in drugs. I enjoy a nice glass of wine or two or a special cocktail, but if weeks go by without one, I don’t even think about it.
The house we bought had about 2,000sf of saltillo tile floor. It was beautiful, but the cleaning crew the sellers brought in used a product that left a milky film all over it and refused to make it right. It was horrific, and he left me with that s**t. A few months after the discard, I got a quote to redo the floors, because the realtors said that it would be bad to list the house with the floors like that. There was no way I could afford it, so I did the research and came up with a product that with a lot of elbow grease would do the trick. (And since I had sold most of my furniture because “we” were going to buy all new, a bonus! was that there was no furniture to move.)
I went over every inch of that tile and grout with a wire brush (wore out three) on my hands and knees. I resealed it with 3 coats of sealer. It took about four months, since I couldn’t work for long without either my hands or knees giving out. I completed each square with love, even knowing I wouldn’t be staying there, and the finished product was a masterpiece. It was a form of meditation for me, and I was actually half sorry when it was done.
It is this, among other things that I can look back on and say that I am truly amazing, I did what had to be done, and I saved myself. Simply, f**k him.
NeverAgain deserves to be renamed into SoRight.
One of my longtime girlfriends is a drunken alcoholic who has now lost part of her foot to diabetes and lost her license per dui.
she staggers.
and get this? another had a STROKE!!!! after visiting an ER where they told her to knock off her addiction (she’s out of state but I understand had gained many many many more pounds than her slight frame could manage, per beer and smoking, possibly blood pressure problems) — she told them to fuck off and her BRAIN said, NO LADY!!!!!!!!! Screw you!!!!! AND AT THER AGE OF FIFTY FIVE SHE LOST HALF OF HER BODY, all the way from the top of her head!!!!! like being CUT IN HALF, omg, addiction is REAL.
To HMs last post, I say….AMEN
Hanalei
I watch the walking dead also. And I can see how you can see yourself in those characters. I feel the same way. We are survivors and we must be prepared to be attacked at anytime. I don’t obsess about it but I prepare. Because for 20 years I was helpless and brought down to thinking I was worthless trash. No more. And I can thank all if you here on lovefrayd for educating me, giving me advice which I truly followed. Now my thoughts have shifted to my well being and not what he is doing or not doing. There comes a point where I had to accept the facts and not my day dreaming hopes. I accepted the I loved him but he never loved me back. He never loved his family and he never loved his son . That’s the facts. And why would I ever be sad to lose a person like this. Why would I settle for a loser and a cheater ? I was in a fog for 2 decades hoping to see change, hoping for him to love and cherish me. He was and never will be capable of love. Sociopaths/narcissists mean “I want to have sex with you” when they tell you “I love you.” And nothing more.
Kaya, I’m glad you got the Walking Dead reference and glad that I’m not alone in identifying with the characters. I think I can read Rick’s mind.
kaya48
Sad, isn’t it. I was “worth less than nothing”, the scapegoat. Brought so low… and he could do it because I was NOT going to leave my daughter behind with him. AND because I didn’t know what he was. This was before I found LF and my nightmare suddenly made sense. I told my ex, and I meant it, I’d rather be homeless than married to him. Life was THAT miserable, with NO relief.
He NEVER loved me. I used to think that if I could only say the right words, do just the right thing, it would make all the difference in the world, only I could not find what that “right” was. I thought my marriage was the bed I made, that I had to lay in it. ALL this was self sabotaging claptrap… Until I heard that phrase, You are a CHILD of GOD.
As a child of GOD, I had a responsibility to take care of ME, to HONOR me, a child of GOD. I will not shame GOD Ever again and not take care of HIS child (me). That’s how I got out of that hole.
inthemiddleofheartache….We will not give up on you. EVER. We have all been there…feeling the things you are feeling now….wanting the things you want now….experiencing the fears that you are experiencing now. But we cannot reach out through the computer and give you that hug you need. All we can do is share our experience. Whether you take the right steps or not is entirely in your ballpark. You WILL survive, and you will be better for it. But you need to be willing to look at the situation without the rose colored glasses, and know that the way to health is THROUGH the pain…not over it under it, or around it. One cannot lose 50 pounds overnight, and you will not heal overnight. But you can take one small step forward…then take another small step forward. For me, personally, I find it frustrating to try to help someone that does not seem to want the help. I have been told that very thing, and I didn’t want to hear it either. I know that you WANT the help, but it hurts and that’s all you see right now. You have strength in you…CALL upon that strength to help you take those small steps forward and AWAY from the pain. You will feel the pain for as long as it takes to process it. Temporary fixes, like alcohol and drugs, do not take away the pain…they only postpone it. There are no shortcuts, because shortcuts only cause the pain to be buried – and you can be ASSURED that pain that isn’t processed will come back again. So be willing to face the pain NOW. The pain holds many lessons that will protect you. Pain will eventually end, and you will come out ahead. It is self destructive to take action that pushes the pain aside and gives you a temporary fix. The long-term alternative is bleak! GO TO COUNSELING, and read the posts everyday. And pray! And do things that make you smile. And keep reading. And if the day comes when you really and truly want TO BE OK, it is there waiting for you. Not that lying, cheating, son of a b….. – he is the path back to Hell!
And you have more than one friend……we are all here cheering you on!
Earlier I posted a message that we need to walk through the pain because it is the only way to healing. I am taking my own advice. I have been capturing old check logs in the computer, and I have been reminded over and over how much money and how often I gave to my spath (over 100K dollars), as well as all the excuses she gave me for needing the money…always life or death. Reliving it has been very difficult, and that’s why these check logs have been sitting around for a couple of years. I could not face it. I want to cry, but the tears won’t come…they are stuck in there. So I watched CASTAWAY with Tom Hanks. figuring that would bring out the tears. I cannot cry yet, but I know that I will feel better once I do. I am walking up my mountain, as we all must do. I pray that each of us finds the strength and courage to cross over the top.
neveragain51
As you say, and people need to remember, we are going THROUGH the pain. Processing THROUGH. There is another SIDE! WHOOHOO!
I will share that movies about betrayal and victory over evil helped me. “Gladiator” was one. Music helps me a lot. The music from Gladiator inspires me.