UPDATED FOR 2020
A Lovefraud reader who posts as “LadyA” sent Lovefraud the following email. At the end, I suggest how she can recover from the sociopath.
I’ve spent a lot time thinking about my experience with my spath, and how it affected me and the people around me. I have read article after article, story after story. I now fully understand what spaths do and how they do it but I didn’t understand why I don’t feel any better about it. What was I missing?
When I left my spath it was a fairly dramatic experience. He had just been sentenced to serve jail time on the weekends for an obstruction of justice charge. My mom flew into town and in one swoop we packed up everything we could get in the car and left the province to go back to my hometown. I had to quit my job over email and send a goodbye text to all my friends.
I am thankful every day for what my mom did for me. I sure wasn’t happy about it at the time but I knew I needed out and this was my chance. What I didn’t know is how much moving back to my hometown would affect me emotionally. I had originally planned on only being back for six months. Just long enough for him to move on and get me out of mind, but it has now been just over three years and I still haven’t moved back. I got settled in a new job, new friends, and a new relationship. Even after all of this I haven’t been able to figure out why I’m not happy. Until three days ago.
Pride. I was proud of myself for the life that I had built. I moved 1200 km’s away from home right after high school to a big city. I was on the fast track to a strong career in a competitive field. I had a brand new car, paid all my bills on time, and was saving to buy a house. I was independent, reliable, strong, caring, and had a really great outlook on the world. Not many people can say that at 22.
All of that was ruined by a six-month “whirlwind romance.” I’m no longer proud of myself. I feel like I have failed because I came back home with my “tail between my legs” to my mommy. I no longer have a new car because it was repossessed as soon as I got back here. I am jaded, I don’t trust people easily, and I am no longer as strong as the face I put on the outside. I’ve gained weight because deep down I just don’t care anymore. My career is now on a plateau due to the location where I live. I don’t have one reason to be proud of myself right now.
How do I get my pride back when I know what happened? I want to feel proud of myself for my life but I just have zero idea where to start. I’ve thought about moving away again, but I don’t really know if that’s the answer. How can I be proud of what has happened in my life? I’m really honestly just so ashamed.
Donna Andersen responds
Dear LadyA,
I am so sorry about your encounter with a sociopath. Although this is not a normal breakup, the good news is that you can recover from the sociopath.
Right now, however, it does not seem that way. Why? I can see two reasons.
The first is that betrayal by a sociopath is a huge emotional injury. In the beginning of your email you said that, after all your reading, you now “fully understand what spaths do and how they do it,” but you don’t feel any better.
Understanding is a critical first step to you to recover from the sociopath. But understanding is an intellectual process, something that you do with your mind. The wound you experienced is also emotional. It needs to be dealt with emotionally.
How do you do that? You allow yourself to feel the pain of the injury.
This means letting yourself cry. Letting yourself scream and wail. Letting yourself experience anger — I’m sure there is anger — perhaps by working it out on a punching bag.
This isn’t pretty, and you probably want to do it privately, because other people often have difficulty being around this. Or, you may have a good therapist who can help you.
One way or another, any bottled up emotion you have within you needs to come out.
Underestimated the injury
Next you wrote that you identified the reason that you’re not happy as “pride.” But it seems like you are regarding pride as something bad, like one of the seven deadly sins.
You had every reason to be proud, because your pride was based on your achievement. And the sociopath took this away from you.
Here is what I think has happened: You have underestimated the scale of the injury, and the severity of the betrayal.
LadyA, you were building a life for yourself. You went out on your own; you started building a career; you were moving forward.
And some manipulative, deceitful parasite, who did something bad enough to end up in jail, ruined it for you.
Not only did he cost you money and hurt your career, he corrupted your outlook on life. You’re jaded; you don’t trust; you don’t care. You are not the young person you once were all because of the sociopath.
Recognize that this was not a normal breakup after all, you had to flee your home, job and friends.
Your life was shattered. Your psyche was deflated. This is a massive shock to your system. It’s no wonder that you are still struggling.
Drain the emotion
So what do you do? In my opinion, you do exactly what I suggested earlier — allow yourself to feel the pain now, knowing that the pain is bigger than you originally thought.
So you cry. You stomp. You imagine him standing in front of you and yell at him. (Do not, however, attempt to confront him in person. This would be counterproductive.)
The idea is to drain off the negative emotion.
As you drain the emotion, a void will be created within you. It’s very important to fill that void with joy.
This may sound preposterous to you, like you have no reason to be joyful. But don’t look at the totality of your life right how.
Do any small thing that makes you happy: Go for a walk. Play with your pets. Have lunch with a friend. Listen to music.
To recover from the sociopath, it may require many rounds of draining off the negative and replacing it with positive. But with time, you’ll find that your entire outlook will change, and you’ll be able to get back on track.
Importantly, with the wisdom you gained through this experience, you’ll never fall for a sociopath again.
Lovefraud originally published this article on May 12, 2014.
High school boyfriend pursues her, then abuses her
NWHSOM
lol i wll let you know when my bday comes rolling around again next year, I’m sure i will be here then
i bet his missions were also scams, meeting with other lucky women whom he bragged about…
thanks NWHSOM…we need to work on taking our own advice!!!! enjoy your evening xo
Ivivas
Hi there:) I believe you have come to the proper place to receive wonderful advice from a great bunch of women who make us understand right from wrong when we do not see clearly.
You’re situation is a bit similar with mine, but they all come down to being related one way or another. At times I wonder if someone’s story is actually the person I am dealing with as well.
Yours has met someone in his home country? And he’s admitted to you that he loves women? Did he admit this to you to come clean so that perhaps you could help him? If he saw your help was not working and he wanted to be honest, why didn’t he tell you he was seeking out another woman? I feel, looking back at my ex, they tell you all sorts of “honest lies” to get what they want. I’m learning I don’t think mine meant a word of his faithfulness to me…I was always finding him in a situation at least once per week which he wouldn’t admit to and would make me look dumb…have you ever confronted him with any other stuff you’d find him being dishonest about, and what did he say?
I’m fairly new to this because I’ve just been let go in mid summer, so I’m eager to hear others stories and get some valid advice. I’d been with mine for over three years in what is thought was strictly he and I. We lived far from one another but spoke many times daily and saw each other frequently so it was perfect for us, or more for him I shd say. During our whole time together he’d been with several other women, never told me, lied and cheated and was a sneaky dishonest man throughout, but I loved him for the good he was toward me, which now I know was fake and he is a narc/sociopath/manipulator etc. he got married this summer and told me me he was doing so about a week prior when all along he had me convinced this woman was out of the picture and he despised everything about her from her looks, her smell, her family etc…
You say you’ve been 4 months nc? That is fantastic and I can’t wait for that milestone..I don’t have your message in front of me as I’m responding from my iPhone and it gives m problems at time so I’m sorry if I get it mixed up! Sounds like yours possibly used you for his convenience while he wasn’t in Columbia but now that you know about the relationship you def need to be nc. He is a scammer and he told you right out, at least he can admit it. But because he’d had four kids with all those women, did that not make you wonder? I feel sorry for the kids in this whole thing for having a father like this! And the fact that he’s 49 doesn’t mean he will mature and become responsible because mine is 60 and gets worse as he ripens!
Dear Ivivas,
JaneDoe recently blessed me with a kindly response to a post I’d made, and asked me whether my ex was the same spath I had dumped earlier.
Well — no, and yes.
No, in the sense that he was wearing a different body, actually a much less attractive one than he had in the guise of the married man who sucked off my life for awhile when I was in my early 20’s and continues to hang around now that 40 years have passed. (Ha, I am still beautiful and he is nearly 80, eww.)
And YES, in the sense that all of these creatures are the same entity.
I figure that we are all partners to the same beast, it’s a form of polygamy, but the good part has been meeting my fellow sisters. As we’ve joked here before: you can have him tonight! I will watch the kids and clean up the kitchen, even go out and bring home that bacon — but please, just take him, I’m sure it’s not my turn again already. 🙂
Hang in there, hold tight, we will get through this together. In the commonality of our experience are faith and good will, the same ingredients Mankind has clung to forever. There is indeed Safety in Numbers! so don’t let go.
NoContact
Lol I’m laughing for real,imagining this 80 year old man thinking everyone will fall at his feet! This is proof that they don’t change…eww is right and I can’t wait for mine to be there..well he is in the sense of his mentality and his physical features…yeh lets just say he’s getting there lol
You’ve made me laugh thanks!! 🙂
JaneDoe, here is a 10 on the 1-10 Clueless Scale.
When we were young, this man told me mournfully that a woman had once asked him, “What are you going to do when your looks are gone?” He wondered, as he related to me, what she had meant by that comment. (?????Clueless.)
The other day, 40 years hence, the same man told me (mournfully of course) that he’d thought he was the bar waitresses’ favorite customer as they’d sincerely assured him for many years that he was! — until “the other day, when a group of police officers came in, wearing uniforms and flashing their holsters, and everyone just ignored me (sigh) so after awhile I just got up and left.” (????CLUELESS.)
But then, I also dated a man who asked me whether his boss had given him a compliment by referring to him as a Prima Donna. 🙂
My excuse for the first of these two weirdos was simple, they were absolutely beautiful and I cared about Eye Candy back then. As for the spath I married and loved over 30 years, I wanted children and a home — and would not disgrace these pages by pretending otherwise.
NoContact
first comment about his looks = 10+++ clueless AND dumb!!! lol
second comment involving the officers = 10++++ again clueless and dumb!!!
I’m still laughing at the balance of the message as i write this… 😉
No Contact,
I appreciate your observations about the nature of spaths, and your other thoughts. Really perceptive and accurate. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks NoContact!
I like your sense of humor which I believe is a good way to look at the situation. I understand you must be a veteran right now after surviving 2 predators. I am glad you still keep your good sense of humor. For me This has been the worse one. Even though I was married to a pathological liar for 12 years. I never felt hurt like with this one. With my first husband we got divorce of mutual agreement and we did our best to keep matters civil because we had two kids together. The difference between my first and this one is I knew how my ex-husband was and I was staying with him just for the kids. My ex-husband never abused me physically or verbally, but his problem was that he was very irresponsible and had poor judgment. But with my recent ex, he was very deceiving. He treated me like a queen , but everything was fake. He was talking to other women behind my back. I never discovered my ex husband cheating on me. His problem was he failed to look at the consequences of his actions. He committed a crime and went to jail. That event destroyed the family union. I had to walk away from him for the safeness of me and my kids.
The most recent ex, offered me everything and always talked about us having a life together. I am a single mother who have raisin my kids alone with not assistance. I am from Venezuela and I have no family here. may be that’s why I felt very attached to him. Don’t get me wrong, I am very independent, I have a better job than him because he just completed high school. it is true he makes good money as a truck diver. He works very hard but he saves all his money to go to his country pretending he is rich and spending it in woman.
Thanks for commenting and like you said we together can move past this and start laughing again and being ourselves.
BTW that 80 years old is crazy. But you are lucky because in a few years he maybe in a wheeled chair and you don’t want to be the one pushing him.
ivivas
lol the wheelchair comment is funny and true!!
I’m sorry to hear your first was a liar like that…so you have had one relationship who lied about everything and didn’t cheat and another relationship with a cheater who lied…that is ALOT to take in…
at times i wasn’t sure, and still am not, whether mine just lies and cheats and isn’t considered a sociopath or narc…but either way, whatever the hell they are, is destroying to someone and should be kept in a cage and taken away for doing damage that they do, especially when children are involved!!!
Yes these kind of men only life put them away. like you said before, they do not change. My experience has been with Latino men, both of them Colombian. I kind of believe that the Latino generation of men between 34 to 60 years old are some how damaged. For the reason that older generation of women were stay home mothers and they did not work. They tolerated all kind of abuse and emotional neglect from their partners but because they had not much choices they stayed. I believe most of this men grew up believing they are superior that women. I don’t see this patterns in younger generation specially now that kids are being raised by two working parents or single mothers.
What do you guys think ?
Wow
So police departments are all the same. How sad is that. And yes arrogant and fearless describes my ex completely I don’t miss his coldness and godly behavior. He thought he was gods gift to women. He would say that he looks so good in his uniform that women could not resist him. I always thought he was joking but he really meant it. Spending hours in the gym, running through the neighborhood without a shirt on , and then of course taking pictures of himself. Just thinking that I slept next to this man makes me sick. I am so glad he found a new minion that makes him feel so hot and sexy. I guess at the age of 48 I did not meet his standards anymore. Once he said “you are so old you look like my mother” which made me cry. Like I said I don’t miss anything about him and will never miss anything.
undertheradar
ha i guess even across the world a sociopath is the same no matter where they are..cant these men be fired for neglecting their responsibilities?? my god and they serve the public and supposed to be considered safe?? yuck now each time i look at a young policeman or woman i will know what they most probably do on their breaks…i wonder if firemen/women do this as well…
i have def heard that people with authority have no problem with fear and therefore are prone to being sociopaths..or people in the army..i guess they just feel they are a gift to the world regardless who they deal with…
mine “claimed” to have been involved with yet another career (one of about 25 he has told me about) back in his younger days…he too said he was a cop…now i don’t know what the hell ever happened with that career, i didn’t know him but i found it weird that it was a short lived endeavour…perhaps being involved with the police force meant anything from being the janitor there or perhaps a cook, but i would guess not a police officer..anyway once he was involved in a situation entering a country and got withheld at the border…he tried to use whatever authority he feels he has to get him out of this situation…yeh well, he got booted back on the plane to return back to his home…i guess he didn’t have much authority did he??
Janedoe
It makes me sick to know what they do when they’re supposed to be working. In the final stage of my marriage I couldn’t even watch the news if police were on it (we have a lot of crime here in Australia but not all of it makes the news nor do we have the level of crime that you have in the states so most of our “bad” news is from outside of our country). When out shopping I’d walk the other way if I sighted some cops and I still never look at them now. Sad thing is they don’t have the respect of the public that they used to have when I was young because they act above the law instead of within the law…
Undertheradar
You’re so correct when you say now you associate a police officer to anything bad an can’t look at them. Anything that reminds me of mine I get will get a knot in my stomach and can’t focus properly etc. anything from the grocery store we shopped in to a location we went to when he visited or a restaurant…it’s like we are traumatized and it sets me back but I can’t hide from the world!!
kaya48
wow, so not nice to say that to you…how old is he???
if you hadn’t know what he is really like, would you consider him a nice looking person, or does he just believe he is and is fooling himself..???
yuck
Lol Kaya, you’re writing my story – the vanity and exhibitionist was insane! I am not like that at all and it blows my mind why I stayed with it for so long…sorry I have to stop because I vomited a little 😉
Jane doe
He is 46 years old. We were married over 20 years. Taking his evilness out of the pictures he probably is a handsome man, but his eyes are so cold. Of course knowing his ugly personality I never found him handsome. He had his mask on outside the home but took it off as soon as we were home or in the car.
He even yelled at me, cussed me out in front of his son. Then turned around and said “see how f**** crazy your mother is, she needs to be locked away “. My son usually answered “she is not one of your soldiers or inmates or criminals , you don’t talk to my mom in this way “.
And this why we don’t miss anything about him. Not even his “nice” looks. We can have peace now and forever.
Kaya48
Insane…I have to tell you I got chills and a year in my eye reading your sons response back to your ex! Good for him…you have mentioned how he has seen the abuse your ex expressed. That is a feat in itself knowing you’ve raised such a nice boy. He obviously did not get his fathers genes when it comes to his feelings. Nice job 🙂
When it comes to looks i suppose mine was fairly nice looking, I did choose to be with him for three years so I suppose I thought so at the time. At this point, like you, I can’t see it anymore due to his behavior. The fact that he chose someone that could be his daughter really makes me look at how his age is ruining his looks, and cannot understand what a 30 year old sees in a 60 year old..he must have really lied about himself to her cause it is nt the money..
Tds Jane doe
Thank you for your kind words. From the time my son was a toddler my biggest goal in life was to ensure he would grow up and be the total opposite of my ex. It still breaks my heart that I stayed for over 20 years. I managed because 15 of those years the ex was finishing his 21 year army career and was often deployed or stationed away from the family. The last 5 years , especially when he became a cop, was torture got me. Now he was home every day (when he was not cheating with fellow female cops) and now had the access to lie and manipulate.
Like you said Tds , protecting my child was my number one priority. I know that divorce is horrible, destructive and for ever, but I needed to file for my child’s sake. Even though he was 18 I want to provide him with some peace and sanity , no more crazy making , betrayals and abuse. I could not imagine having to go through a divorce with minor children. I was accused of so much and threatened with having me fired at my job and so on.
I took the control away. The control he had over me which he loved so much. There is nothing left he can throw on my way but I am sure he is “cooking up something “. I came so far and he cannot intimidate me anymore . I still have my lawyer to protect me. I don’t have to talk to evil anymore 20 years was long enough.
Kaya48
Did your ex have any females in his family that he mistreated? I wonder if they have females in families if they do the same and therefore have something against women? A hatred maybe?
Thank god yours was away for long periods at least it meant his behavior wasn’t being absorbed by your son and those years were very important for bringing up your son, so you are blessed for that..but after yours finished with deployment did he just decide to become a police officer or had he had years of training before? What did he do when he was deployed..mine worked in the education center doing something menial but certainly used it to his advantage by bragging about it…not impressed!
Oh I had to chuckle because i noticed I said “I had years in my eyes reading the comment your son had made when he was younger”
I actually had tears in my eyes and not years…stupid typos 🙂
ivivas, I couldn’t find a good spot to reply to your post to janedoe so I thought I’d start fresh. In your post you said:
“You may ask me “Why in hell you got into a relationship with this person”. Me, having a master in rehabilitation counseling, I found him to be very honest in no lying to me about his past. one of my professional values is to believe people change. He also told me the magic words; “I tired of this and want to change”. He was very sensitive. I had to be very careful when talking to him, because he was easily offended. It was always me calling him and claiming for peace.”
I firmly believe that these men seek out empaths, like us. They don’t have typical emotions and seek emotional satisfaction in others. I’ve worked with children who have emotional/behavioral/developmental disorders for years and am fascinated and very educated in behaviors I also hold a masters. In the beginning he told me a previous therapist told him he was a sociopath and that he had led a double life in the past but saw how much pain he caused. He told me horrible stories about his past. Like you, it was his honesty that I was attracted to and I wanted to be there for him and accept him because so many people in his past hadn’t. Now I know how false he was. I know he used his behaviors to confuse and manipulate me. I am trying to accept that I will never know all of his lies. They haunt me every day.
I believe it was AnnettePK (sorry if it was a different LF poster!) that gave me the advice on how to take care of myself through this process. If you’re not eating, treat yourself like a sick person and buy foods that you would for a sick friend (Gatorade, jello, ensure, small snacks but healthy food fruits, vegetables, etc). It really helped me. I didn’t eat much or sleep for months. Sometimes my energy was so low I barely felt alive it made everything going on with my ex even worse. Try to do small calming things for yourself. The smallest things that have worked in the past to make you happy. Even if you don’t feel happy now, your conscious remembers and the small things will help bring you back. Take care of you! You count way more than him and his love for women!!!
Hello TDS79
Yes I agree with you 100% This people seek for what they lack. empathetic, emotional and caring people like us. The same as yours’ he told me about previous relationships including being charged twice for DV against two of his exes. One his mistress committed suicide years after they ended their relationship and his wife at the time ended raising his orphan child. about his record of DV he told me he had learned to manage his anger by walking away from the situation. I am very patient and believe in communication. Even though he accused me of flirting with other men, he was never violent toward me. Instead he used a lot of manipulation. Now that I am learning about this subject I can place the pieces together. For example, when he met me, he told me That I looked to him as a woman who had “suffered” but then he realized I was not what he thought. Now I get to think that’s why he lost interest on me when he realized I am very strong willed and there was not way he would put me down. let me tell you. I am from Venezuela, my mother died when I was 6 years old and I was raised in foster care. the first time I watched TV I was 10 years old. I come from a very poor family. but when I came here to the US, 18 years ago, I put myself to school and got an education. I have a good job and I am very independent. I have raisin my 2 kids with no help from the father or government. Maybe he saw in my face traces of sadness from my childhood. But them he realized I was stronger than him and he just moved on to get a more appealing pray. He always thought I was going to leave him at any moment. and that is not true because the same as you, I wanted to gain his trust and relieve his pain from past relationships. From this relationship what hurt me is not loosing him, is the betrayal.
I am glad you will never know all his lies because it hurt you more. Thanks for the advice on how to take care of myself. and thanks to responding. what about you how long ago your nightmare ended.? have you have any contact with him.
Jane doe
No worries. These typos happen to me also. My ex was the middle child of 5 kids , 4 boys and 1 girl. The father treated the mother horribly, no respect , cussing her out, cheating on her and finally discarding her on their 25th wedding anniversary for a young co worker. The father is now on his 4th marriage.
In the army my ex worked as s combat medic. Then decided to become a cop after he retired from the army. I am sure he had his minions in the service. There were plenty of “hot” female soldiers who probably admired him.
It’s so sad how deceitful they are. He never took his marriage vows serious . It was all a big joke for him. Jerk.
Kaya48
I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…he sounds as though he picked up his fathers ways.
Have you ever been able to discuss with your mother in law how her son has treated you an your son?
Ribbit hole moment….. I just got a call from a number from a different city (I don’t want to be specific). No message. I had a bad feeling so blocked my number and called back. It said the number was disconnected. I will sometimes get political/solicitation calls but when you call back it beeps or the answering message says it’s political call. I got to thinking, I’m going to the city the call came from this coming weekend. I know no one from there. No solicitation has ever called me from there. Then I got to thinking maybe my ex is messing with me and setting up a call from a city I’m going to. I know I must sound crazy right now and this is most likely coincidence. It’s fine if even you all think I’m off my rocker. Anyone feel like talking me off my rocker?? Or could this be connected? He’s done so many covert things…things like this that add up to more. I know that’s why this stuff gets to me. If it is him, things will get worse and I’ll know soon enough. It’s his pattern, after all.
I am so frustrated with him and his stranger contact!!! Why am I reacting to such a small thing? I’m shaking and am terrified now…I’ve never been to this city and now I’m scared. Ladies, this is trauma at it’s best and I’m here for you to all witness it! I’m so embarrassed right now….
TDS79
Are you certain it is related to him?? I know I receive soliciting calls all the time pretty much every day from places with international phone numbers!!! Not in the USA or Canada but def an intl call and it turns out to be a recording or a soliciting thing
I understand your nervous reaction. Perhaps if you are going to this place over the wkd they somehow have distributed your phone to different solicitors from that area?? I can’t say for certain that’s what it is but why don’t you try looking the number up online?? Sometimes you can enter your number you want looked up and it will give you the person or the company that number belongs to…it’s called a reverse something or other.
TDS79
No need to be embarrassed!! I think this is a normal reaction especially since you mentioned he has people
Or “friends” contacting you! You are being precautious, don’t be hard on yourself. Keep updating as things unfold..
janedoe, thank you for your reply! No I’m not certain it’s him. I just got scared when I called right back and the number said it’s disconnected. I have a caller ID app on my phone that helps me filter these types of calls. I looked it up too and the call came from a city in the US and just happens to be the city I’m traveling to this weekend. It seems odd. And usually when I get that icky feeling it’s right. It could be coincidence. I feel most likely it’s him trying to reach me and he’s using some kind of app that uses disconnected numbers. If so, it could be a randomly picked number and he doesn’t know I’m going out of town.
I shared on here because even though its a small thing it triggered a huge response in me. PTSD at its finest! I’m feeling better now. And again, I’ll know if it’s him because he has a pattern. He works in 2-4’s. No contact from him in weird ways is ever isolated. Time within the next 24 hrs will tell. I hate that feeling too. I see my counselor Wednesday, so that should help!
I’m so angry with him and his crazy train!!! He makes me feel crazy. At times I think maybe I am crazy and he’s not.
TDS79
Do you think he’s had an opportunity to install spyware on your computer and phone? I’m sure Ladywithatruck mentioned the tracking device her mechanic found under her car…
It sounds like he has to many ways to contact you and also knows your next move? Maybe it’s time to change your phone and number and lock it with a code as soon as you get it and also with computers/tablets etc…grr! The lengths we have to go to to rid ourselves of the vermin!
There are apps that allow a caller to pick out any number and have it show up on caller ID. One can also use a website like calleridfaker.com. Try to listen to your intuition and be alert, but try not to let fear take over your life. Easier said than done. Fear is your mind telling you to take action to stay safe, so try to figure out what things you need to do to keep yourself emotionally and physically safe from harm.
undertheradar, AnnettePK and janedoe,
I believe it is him. I went to counseling this evening and afterwards I believe I was being followed. I’m not going to share the details and am a little shaken up. It was a man I don’t know. I don’t know if they’re related but I sure as hell know I’m not being paranoid about what happened. Not even 5 minutes after I got home (after being followed) I got another call from a disconnected number but from a different city. Again, he works in 2-4’s. Two calls from disconnected numbers and someone following me is unlikely a coincidence.
Annette, the sites you mention make sense.
undertheradar, I had my computer checked and it was clear. The apple store didn’t check my phone but were convinced there was no way it could have been compromised. I plan to get a new phone and start from fresh with data, contacts, etc. I am also finally committing to a new email address. Better safe than sorry!
janedoe, thank you for your warm and caring heart. I really appreciate you and pray for you, like many others on here.
It’s hard to explain, there are situations in life I overreact on and I am super vigilant right now…but this, this is happening! I don’t know what to do…
TDS79
If you believe this is happening you need to be safe. Could you go to a friend or family member for the night? This is serious if he or someone is following you and you are getting those calls! Do not take this lightly..you sound very scared and had all the rights to be. Only you know him and what his capabilities are!! You must get some help..
TDS79
You are doing the right thing! It’s never a good thing to ignore your instincts in times of danger… best of luck and sending loads of protection energy your way – I’ll also add your name to my prayer table for additional power ♥
TDS79
You are not crazy you’re cautious and better safe than sorry.
How odd that he would call from the location you will be at over the weekend. But wouldn’t he have to travel to this city to call you from there? Have you ever disclosed anything about this place to him?
And YES if you get that icky feeling, go with that feeling!! We shd have done that at the beginning and we may not be going through this with them right now
Will wait to hear in the next 24 hours if something arises. Pls keep posting as things develop and try to get a restful sleep 🙂