There are a few things we can be absolutely sure of when it comes to con artists who are all sociopaths/ psychopaths. The first is that they will take advantage of loop holes in the legal system. We have received several letters from men in that last few months detailing the lengths psychopathic women will go to in order to extort money from men.
You see, in most states, if there is a separation or divorce custody of children is handed to mothers. She who gets the kids, gets money. Professional mother is the perfect occupation for a female psychopath. All she has to do is have sex, get pregnant, and she’s got it made! For her, kids aren’t a liability; they are an asset she can use in the next con.
Mothers get custody even when they are substance abusing sociopaths. It is very difficult to prove a mother is unfit. Furthermore, custody evaluators take information from both parties at face value and fail to verify the information. This is the ideal set up for psychopaths, who are all pathologic liars. Check out these two terrible stories:
I’m currently in a custody battle with a woman I believe to be a sociopath. Very frustrated with the evaluator on my case, who after telling me that “unlike this biased state (Utah) that she starts out at 50/50”. Has submitted a report suggesting 50/50 custody. I’ve been able to establish documented emotional abuse my ex put me and her other children through with fake cancer and pregnancy. She even lied to the evaluator about being a ex-police officer and failed a drug test. I thought the psychologist had figured it out when she started asking me questions more relevant to a PCL than parenting, i.e., sex drive etc. I’m afraid she’s repeating a thought she asked me after establishing the lies about cancer and pregnancy. “OK she’s a liar; does that make her a bad parent?” (Replace sociopath with liar.) She doesn’t get it. I wish I could find the reference in which someone stated, “Ever met a sociopath that was a good parent”?
I have a serious problem in my family. My son is divorced from a sociopath female who has not been diagnosed but fits the description with amazing accuracy. She also fits borderline personality disorder. Unfortunately, she is high-functioning and clever. With relentless aggressive court action, she has managed to get 3 custody evaluations to play out. The first two resulted in joint custody but the 3rd one, which was just completed about 6 weeks ago, resulted in her getting “sole” custody. Now this is after the 2 children, ages 14 and 11, had stated their wishes to their own attorney, stating that they both wished to live with their father. How did this happen? I’ll tell you. This mother lied so much and had somehow convinced the guardian-ad-litem (GAL) to advocate for her. This GAL believed all the mother said and used her power to convince the judge that the children should be totally with their mother for the kids’ best interests. The judge was swayed by her, and even though my son’s attorney uncovered in the hearing that the GAL did not check her facts and had gotten her information only from the mother, the judge did not care! This female judge awarded the mother full custody against the children’s wishes and my son, who has never had a parenting issue and who has been the reliable loving parent for 14 years, performing most of the primary functions, has now been reduced to “visitor” and is paying hefty child support payments.
What can we learn from these stories? First, female psychopaths exploit the anti-male bias in our family courts. On the opposite side of the coin, psychopathic fathers also claim to be the “victims” of anti-male bias.
Another lesson is: Men, use protection, even when women tell you they are “on the pill” or have been sterilized. Better yet, be absolutely sure of the character of all women with whom you are intimate.
The last lesson is that there are no studies investigating the impact of trait psychopathy on parenting. Yes, I said NO studies. You see, psychiatrists and psychologists all assume that sociopaths/psychopaths don’t form attachments and so disengage. No scientist seems to understand that sociopaths/psychopaths do form attachments. It is just that these attachments are power-based rather than affection-based. No one is looking at parenting, because everyone assumes sociopaths/psychopaths do not take on parenting roles. Nothing could be further from the truth. My prayer is that some researchers read our blogs and will hear us. Psychopathic parents are an enormous problem. They are a problem because they stay, not because they abandon.
If you are a loving father that has been victimized by a psychopath and the family courts, I feel your sense of powerlessness to protect your kids. The only solution I can suggest is perhaps filing complaints against attorneys and mental health evaluators, who fail to verify “facts.” People who give legal testimony that is false may be committing perjury. All complaints have to be investigated by the licensing boards. Furthermore, a successful malpractice case against a GAL or therapist would be a wake up call to the entire system. I would also encourage all parents to keep careful records. Children who were handed over to psychopaths may be able to take action against the courts themselves once they become adults.