Millions of sociopaths roam the planet. They inhabit all segments of the population. They are male, female, rich, poor, old, young, all races, all religions, all education levels, all demographic groups. Most of them are not in prison, so they move freely among us, living their lives by exploiting others.
Many take pride in their ability to manipulate others. Some who are criminals view crime as fun. They see nothing wrong with their behavior. As long as they keep succeeding, sociopaths will continue to behave the way they do.
So how do we make them fail?
Sociopaths only want to win, so failure is losing. Failure is not being able to exploit others, or at least not being able to get away with exploiting others.
I see four steps to shutting them down, and they all revolve around education.
1. Educating the public about sociopaths. This is the first step. So many Lovefraud readers who have tangled with sociopaths have told me, “I didn’t know these people existed!” Yes, they exist. Sociopaths live among us. And they are dangerous to our mental, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and physical health.
This is why I launched Lovefraud. This is why I’m embarking on the Lovefraud Education Program to teach high school and college students about sociopaths. (If you’re in a position to bring the program to your school, please contact terry@anderlypublishing.com.) And there are so many more people who need to be educated, including therapists, lawyers and judges. We all need to know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior, so that if we see them, we can respond appropriately—especially by running away.
2. Exposing known sociopaths. This, I believe, is the only strategy that really works against sociopaths. We can’t count on winning judgments against them and actually collecting our money. We can’t count on them being prosecuted or locked up. Sometimes the only way to keep them from harming others is to blow their cover.
We do need to be cautious about this, as I explained in a previous article, Exposing the sociopath. Many of you may not be able to skewer your exes publicly, as I did with James Montgomery. But you may be able to quietly speak your truth in your community, profession, church or wherever you know the predator is trolling for new victims. In the future, a few words of warning, coupled with growing public awareness of the disorder, may be enough.
3. Stop breeding sociopaths. Sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have a lot of sexual magnetism, and many Lovefraud readers have said that sex with the sociopath was the best they’ve ever had. But a consequence of sex, of course, is children. And because sociopathy is a highly genetic disorder, children born of sociopaths are at risk of inheriting a predisposition for the disorder.
One of the big things I hope will be accomplished through the Lovefraud High School Education program is to help young people understand that romantic relationships with sociopaths lead to nothing but trouble. If more people refuse to get involved with sociopaths, that will mean fewer at-risk children.
4. Appropriate parenting for at-risk children. Although sociopathy is highly genetic, inheriting the genes doesn’t necessarily mean that every at-risk child will grow up to be a sociopath. It is the interaction of genetics and the environment, including parenting, which actually creates the disordered individuals.
Many people realize, after a child is conceived or born, that their partner is a sociopath. If this is you, you need to take steps to raise the child so that he or she does not develop this disorder. I realize that this is immensely difficult and complicated, especially when the sociopathic parent will not let go of the child, which is often the case. But the healthy parents should try, as best they can, to teach the child how to love and feel empathy. (For information on how to do this, read Just Like His Father? by Dr. Liane Leedom.)
Perhaps with education, perseverance and time, our descendants will see the end of sociopathy. And they’ll thank us for taking the first steps to hasten the demise.
🙂
Ana- *huggles* Hey, buddy. How has everything been going? I haven’t found too much time to pop in. I also start college tommorrow so I’m getting butterflies, or bumble bees! ^_^
Near-good luck starting college tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll love it and you’ll do great! 🙂
Lizzy: I’m getting ready to leave here shortly! ^_^ Thanks for all the support! *high fives* Yeah!! How have you been lately?
lizzy – i used to lay down on the floor and breath threow the desires for a cigarette. i also had a friend i would call. i haven’t smoked in 25 years and i had smoked for 16 when i quite.
so every time you want to sm0ke, if you can write down what you are feeling. or log in here and write about it.
you keep working at it and you will be successful.
jeanine – be picky! then you can be the crazy bat on your road (a position i occupy in my building.!) but seriously this is about self care and you need to stick up for yourself.
have you thought about asking around and finding out who has a good reputation?
good luck. as you said baby steps. baby’s often fall over, but it’s no big deal, as they are just learning to walk.
Melly-don’t think about what others say, don’t tell them “why” you are leaving, don’t’ give them details. You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you are unhappy. They can’t understand, they haven’t been there so why try to explain.
Louise- Nice to hear someone else knows what I mean about loving them like you love your child. So, so wrong to have a spouse that where your feelings for them are the same as toward your child. I didn’t realize it though, not really, until I had children (with “it”).
Jeannie-It is interesting that you said, “I’m still working on not being burned by one..”, then you went on to tell how you have to get firewood. I’m thinking you didn’t want to talk about your P/N but wanted to talk. Am I right?
Near-have a fun day. I am surviving right now. For the most part I am without the drama of the woman but today I am still a little anxious. Getting rid of all drama-since I am severely addicted to it and learning how to function without it, and it’s not easy at all.