Millions of sociopaths roam the planet. They inhabit all segments of the population. They are male, female, rich, poor, old, young, all races, all religions, all education levels, all demographic groups. Most of them are not in prison, so they move freely among us, living their lives by exploiting others.
Many take pride in their ability to manipulate others. Some who are criminals view crime as fun. They see nothing wrong with their behavior. As long as they keep succeeding, sociopaths will continue to behave the way they do.
So how do we make them fail?
Sociopaths only want to win, so failure is losing. Failure is not being able to exploit others, or at least not being able to get away with exploiting others.
I see four steps to shutting them down, and they all revolve around education.
1. Educating the public about sociopaths. This is the first step. So many Lovefraud readers who have tangled with sociopaths have told me, “I didn’t know these people existed!” Yes, they exist. Sociopaths live among us. And they are dangerous to our mental, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and physical health.
This is why I launched Lovefraud. This is why I’m embarking on the Lovefraud Education Program to teach high school and college students about sociopaths. (If you’re in a position to bring the program to your school, please contact terry@anderlypublishing.com.) And there are so many more people who need to be educated, including therapists, lawyers and judges. We all need to know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior, so that if we see them, we can respond appropriately—especially by running away.
2. Exposing known sociopaths. This, I believe, is the only strategy that really works against sociopaths. We can’t count on winning judgments against them and actually collecting our money. We can’t count on them being prosecuted or locked up. Sometimes the only way to keep them from harming others is to blow their cover.
We do need to be cautious about this, as I explained in a previous article, Exposing the sociopath. Many of you may not be able to skewer your exes publicly, as I did with James Montgomery. But you may be able to quietly speak your truth in your community, profession, church or wherever you know the predator is trolling for new victims. In the future, a few words of warning, coupled with growing public awareness of the disorder, may be enough.
3. Stop breeding sociopaths. Sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have a lot of sexual magnetism, and many Lovefraud readers have said that sex with the sociopath was the best they’ve ever had. But a consequence of sex, of course, is children. And because sociopathy is a highly genetic disorder, children born of sociopaths are at risk of inheriting a predisposition for the disorder.
One of the big things I hope will be accomplished through the Lovefraud High School Education program is to help young people understand that romantic relationships with sociopaths lead to nothing but trouble. If more people refuse to get involved with sociopaths, that will mean fewer at-risk children.
4. Appropriate parenting for at-risk children. Although sociopathy is highly genetic, inheriting the genes doesn’t necessarily mean that every at-risk child will grow up to be a sociopath. It is the interaction of genetics and the environment, including parenting, which actually creates the disordered individuals.
Many people realize, after a child is conceived or born, that their partner is a sociopath. If this is you, you need to take steps to raise the child so that he or she does not develop this disorder. I realize that this is immensely difficult and complicated, especially when the sociopathic parent will not let go of the child, which is often the case. But the healthy parents should try, as best they can, to teach the child how to love and feel empathy. (For information on how to do this, read Just Like His Father? by Dr. Liane Leedom.)
Perhaps with education, perseverance and time, our descendants will see the end of sociopathy. And they’ll thank us for taking the first steps to hasten the demise.
Dear Jeannie,
If you are BUYING something from someone you have a RIGHT to have what you want….or don’t buy it from them.
Also consider the price….NO ONE is going to sell good wood for $30, good seasoned wood will go for up to $65 per rick delivered and stacked neatly. So if you pay cut rate price and let them dump it anywhere they want to and not stack it, they’ll give you bad wood which has no heating value if it is soft and rotten.
Talk to the person on the phone and tell them what you want….stacked neatly (or not if you don’t care) and dry wood and oak or whatever kind of wood you prefer. See what they say the price for it is. When they show up, look at the wood on the trailer or truck…and see if it is good wood, if not, tell them to take it somewhere else. Don’t pay them until it is put on the ground and you have inspected it. THAT IS NOT BEING NITY PICKY, that is just doing BUSINESS IN A BUSINESS-LIKE MANNER. Letting people run over you is not being “nice.” Good luck.
To all my LF friends…..
Heres a little ‘Adamant’ inspiration for today…..
Believe in yourselves!!!! We can do ANYTHING!
LIFE IS GOOD!
What I Want
By ‘Unknown’
I AM POWERFUL!
Whatever I set my mind on having, I will have.
Whatever I decide to be, I will be.
The evidence is all around me.
The power of my Will has brought me precisely to where I am right now.
I have made the choices. I have held the thoughts.
I have taken the actions to create my current reality.
And I have the power to change it into whatever I want it to be.
With the choices I make, I am constantly fulfilling the vision I have for my life.
If that does not seem to be the case —
then I am deceiving myself about what I really want.
Because what I really, truly want, I will get!
What I truly wanted in the past, I already have.
If I want to build a billion-dollar business, I will take the actions necessary to do it.
If I want to sit comfortably watching TV night after night —
I will take the actions necessary for that.
Don’t be disappointed in my results —
they’re just the outward manifestation of my priorities.
I will be sure of what I truly want,
because I am sure to get it!
Nice! EB.
justus5:
Yep, I know that feeling. I have a question for you…when you first met him (of course BEFORE you had children), did you feel complete?
Lizzy: I understand. You get so used to being around drama constantly, you pretty much start to feed on it and expect it. Then when it’s gone, that feeling sets in like something is different or wrong, but it’s actually right! We just aren’t used to it. I think so, anyway. ^_^
I had TONS of fun. I even had a picnic with my class and talked to my teacher even while everyone else had left. Best of all, I met up with an old friend from high school. My hospital and surgeries took me out of school and put me on homebound, so he hadn’t seen me for years. I’m so happy. ^_^
EB: I misread your comment as saying the power of my Wii, the video game system and agreed completely it it’s power. Then I realaized my mistake and weeped! 😛 Seriously, though, good stuff. How do you find stuff like that? I need to do some searching for inspirational posts. ^_^
Louise: Poke! Hiya! ^_^ I also had the same question, and I ask it a lot to people. Did you feel complete? Good question!
I went to the psychiatrist yesterday and I was hoping to get going with the ADHD thing. Unfortunately, we discovered that I may have Bipolar Type II disorder. I thought back amongst my childhood except I can’t exactly finger if I have it or not. The psych evaluated me and explained the symptoms. However, I just want to be sure because I had a rough childhood and I have also been in depressing situations. I do however notice that I have frequent mood changes though. I just don’t know how to feel because I need medication for both ADHD and Bipolar II disorder. I’m don’t want to be med happy. You know? She doesn’t want to make the bipolar worse with the ADHD meds. I just keep going back to square one. I move forward and more information comes with it.
Dear Hurtnomore,
Bi-polar is a serious problem that sometimes doesn’t show up until you reach your late teens or even early 20s, but MOST OF THE TIME it can be controlled with careful management of medications. Therapy can also help you COPE WITH the different problems, both with the bi-polar and with the stresses of life at your age (college and becoming independent) ADHD is also difficult (I have it to an extent and I have a son who is VERY ADHD)
With the family situation you have too (both with your dad’s controlling and the cross-cultural things as well as dysfunctional situations including sexual abuse from your father, you have many problems to handle. I am so glad though that you are getting treatment from a psychiatrist for your bi-polar. Bi-polar alone (with the alternating depression and mania) can WRECK your life if left untreated. You may have to take medication for the rest of your life, but that beats messing up your life completely with the mood swings. I have to take medication for my depression and PTSD for the rest of my life I am sure, but it makes life smoother and the ups and downs are not so sharp.
You are a smart young lady and I am glad you are getting the help you need. With that and college, you will do well…but it will also be some work, but I think you are up to it! (((hugs)))
Near-I’m so glad you had a great time. I am now getting ready because I have to leave for work in an hour. I feel tired just thinking about it. Yuck-but at least it’s a paycheck so I can’t complain to much. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.
Lizzy: I wonder if I’ll feel that way about work soon. ^_^ I hope everything goes well and you have a good day, or night, or evening! Or morning? Twilight? Bah!! 😛
Near-thanks, enjoy your evening. Hopefully you won’t feel that way about work because I hope you pick something that you truly want to do-unlike myself who should have followed her heart years ago.