Millions of sociopaths roam the planet. They inhabit all segments of the population. They are male, female, rich, poor, old, young, all races, all religions, all education levels, all demographic groups. Most of them are not in prison, so they move freely among us, living their lives by exploiting others.
Many take pride in their ability to manipulate others. Some who are criminals view crime as fun. They see nothing wrong with their behavior. As long as they keep succeeding, sociopaths will continue to behave the way they do.
So how do we make them fail?
Sociopaths only want to win, so failure is losing. Failure is not being able to exploit others, or at least not being able to get away with exploiting others.
I see four steps to shutting them down, and they all revolve around education.
1. Educating the public about sociopaths. This is the first step. So many Lovefraud readers who have tangled with sociopaths have told me, “I didn’t know these people existed!” Yes, they exist. Sociopaths live among us. And they are dangerous to our mental, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and physical health.
This is why I launched Lovefraud. This is why I’m embarking on the Lovefraud Education Program to teach high school and college students about sociopaths. (If you’re in a position to bring the program to your school, please contact terry@anderlypublishing.com.) And there are so many more people who need to be educated, including therapists, lawyers and judges. We all need to know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior, so that if we see them, we can respond appropriately—especially by running away.
2. Exposing known sociopaths. This, I believe, is the only strategy that really works against sociopaths. We can’t count on winning judgments against them and actually collecting our money. We can’t count on them being prosecuted or locked up. Sometimes the only way to keep them from harming others is to blow their cover.
We do need to be cautious about this, as I explained in a previous article, Exposing the sociopath. Many of you may not be able to skewer your exes publicly, as I did with James Montgomery. But you may be able to quietly speak your truth in your community, profession, church or wherever you know the predator is trolling for new victims. In the future, a few words of warning, coupled with growing public awareness of the disorder, may be enough.
3. Stop breeding sociopaths. Sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have a lot of sexual magnetism, and many Lovefraud readers have said that sex with the sociopath was the best they’ve ever had. But a consequence of sex, of course, is children. And because sociopathy is a highly genetic disorder, children born of sociopaths are at risk of inheriting a predisposition for the disorder.
One of the big things I hope will be accomplished through the Lovefraud High School Education program is to help young people understand that romantic relationships with sociopaths lead to nothing but trouble. If more people refuse to get involved with sociopaths, that will mean fewer at-risk children.
4. Appropriate parenting for at-risk children. Although sociopathy is highly genetic, inheriting the genes doesn’t necessarily mean that every at-risk child will grow up to be a sociopath. It is the interaction of genetics and the environment, including parenting, which actually creates the disordered individuals.
Many people realize, after a child is conceived or born, that their partner is a sociopath. If this is you, you need to take steps to raise the child so that he or she does not develop this disorder. I realize that this is immensely difficult and complicated, especially when the sociopathic parent will not let go of the child, which is often the case. But the healthy parents should try, as best they can, to teach the child how to love and feel empathy. (For information on how to do this, read Just Like His Father? by Dr. Liane Leedom.)
Perhaps with education, perseverance and time, our descendants will see the end of sociopathy. And they’ll thank us for taking the first steps to hasten the demise.
Near
Lizzy: Is it too late to change now? I guess it must be. I remember you talking about it before. 🙁 Sorry, buddy. I don’t think it’ll happen to me, but people in Psychology seem to get burned out or exhausted after a long while. It takes a lot to be in the field. I might end up that way.
What was it again you WANTED to do? I am drawing a blank here. ^_^
MoonDancer
Good fire wood cost 80 dollars and up a rick, even more if delivered….Junk wood is 30.00 a rick if you come and get it..with gas almost four dollars a gallon, 30 dollars will buy 7 gallons of gas, he is barely gettin paid for his time. And you want to be more like your friend? There is a difference in being assertive and being nit picky.
ElizabethBennett
Near-I am planning to finish my BS in Psychology also on my way to becoming a police officer. I am trying to get in shape and get my bills paid off to take the paycut.
Near
Lizzy: Ah, yes!! I remember now. Jeez! It’s a paycut? Wow, you are dedicated to go back and study, get into shape, and take lower money. I’m not sure what officers are paid, though, or how they can earn more. ^_^
How long will this all take? My education will take the better part of a decade. I’ll be gray when I get out! ^_^
hurtnomore010
OxDrover- That’s a lot but I’m glad you chose medication though. I trust y’all(Counselor, psych, and you) when y’all say it will make life a little more smoother. I’m having such a hard time with my insurance because its only covered up near my dads house. Its not covered down near school. So I may have to venture up there once a month because the psych wants to try different types of the meds. Its so frustrating! They also mentioned trying state assistance program as another option to help receive medication. I’m just praying it will all workout.
Ox Drover
Dear Hurtnomore,
I realize it is frustrating, but do whatever you have to to see your doc as often as they want to see you. It is very important to have medical supervision to take meds for bi-polar, they must be adjusted until you find just the right med and the right dose for YOU. Each person is different.
Your school should have a psychological counselor so maybe you can get some talk therapy at your school which should be included free in your school fees and tuition. There should also be some school medical care but for minor things like a small cut finger or a bad cold, though you would have to buy the medication in most cases like an antibiotic.
Hang in there and do the best you can at school. Tell me again what you are studying? Do you know what you want to do after graduation? I’m really proud of how you did last year and how you are doing with your health care now. Keep up the good work and keep in touch with us. When does school start again?
hurtnomore010
Dear Ox Drover,
I actually want to own my own fashion boutique internationally. I want to study International Business and I’m not sure of a minor yet. After graduation, I have to go to grad school to get a MBA. I’m gonna try to do some internships as often as I can though. Hopefully, it will all work out. Oh, I’m counseling as well at school. It helps a lot.
Ox Drover
Dear Hurtnomore,
It sounds like you are a very very smart young woman, and have aspirations to become successful! It will take a great deal of work, but when we set our minds to a focus and stay on that focus, working toward a goal…doing what we must to educate ourselves so that we can take advantage of the opportunities, not just “dreaming” but making those dreams come true…we can succeed!
I’m glad you are taking advantage of the counseling at your school as well. You have a long way to go, but you sound like you are on the right road and working hard toward that goal. Good for you! (((hugs)))
Louise
Near:
I missed your post from earlier today. Good to see you again! 🙂
Yeah, I just wonder how some people felt when they first met the spath…
Near
Louise: Nice to see you as well. ^_^ It sure is hard to keep track of posts on here. They are everywhere! Once they leave the main page, it’s hard to find every conversation.