Millions of sociopaths roam the planet. They inhabit all segments of the population. They are male, female, rich, poor, old, young, all races, all religions, all education levels, all demographic groups. Most of them are not in prison, so they move freely among us, living their lives by exploiting others.
Many take pride in their ability to manipulate others. Some who are criminals view crime as fun. They see nothing wrong with their behavior. As long as they keep succeeding, sociopaths will continue to behave the way they do.
So how do we make them fail?
Sociopaths only want to win, so failure is losing. Failure is not being able to exploit others, or at least not being able to get away with exploiting others.
I see four steps to shutting them down, and they all revolve around education.
1. Educating the public about sociopaths. This is the first step. So many Lovefraud readers who have tangled with sociopaths have told me, “I didn’t know these people existed!” Yes, they exist. Sociopaths live among us. And they are dangerous to our mental, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and physical health.
This is why I launched Lovefraud. This is why I’m embarking on the Lovefraud Education Program to teach high school and college students about sociopaths. (If you’re in a position to bring the program to your school, please contact terry@anderlypublishing.com.) And there are so many more people who need to be educated, including therapists, lawyers and judges. We all need to know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior, so that if we see them, we can respond appropriately—especially by running away.
2. Exposing known sociopaths. This, I believe, is the only strategy that really works against sociopaths. We can’t count on winning judgments against them and actually collecting our money. We can’t count on them being prosecuted or locked up. Sometimes the only way to keep them from harming others is to blow their cover.
We do need to be cautious about this, as I explained in a previous article, Exposing the sociopath. Many of you may not be able to skewer your exes publicly, as I did with James Montgomery. But you may be able to quietly speak your truth in your community, profession, church or wherever you know the predator is trolling for new victims. In the future, a few words of warning, coupled with growing public awareness of the disorder, may be enough.
3. Stop breeding sociopaths. Sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have a lot of sexual magnetism, and many Lovefraud readers have said that sex with the sociopath was the best they’ve ever had. But a consequence of sex, of course, is children. And because sociopathy is a highly genetic disorder, children born of sociopaths are at risk of inheriting a predisposition for the disorder.
One of the big things I hope will be accomplished through the Lovefraud High School Education program is to help young people understand that romantic relationships with sociopaths lead to nothing but trouble. If more people refuse to get involved with sociopaths, that will mean fewer at-risk children.
4. Appropriate parenting for at-risk children. Although sociopathy is highly genetic, inheriting the genes doesn’t necessarily mean that every at-risk child will grow up to be a sociopath. It is the interaction of genetics and the environment, including parenting, which actually creates the disordered individuals.
Many people realize, after a child is conceived or born, that their partner is a sociopath. If this is you, you need to take steps to raise the child so that he or she does not develop this disorder. I realize that this is immensely difficult and complicated, especially when the sociopathic parent will not let go of the child, which is often the case. But the healthy parents should try, as best they can, to teach the child how to love and feel empathy. (For information on how to do this, read Just Like His Father? by Dr. Liane Leedom.)
Perhaps with education, perseverance and time, our descendants will see the end of sociopathy. And they’ll thank us for taking the first steps to hasten the demise.
superkid10
Donna
I am so grateful to you. Truly. You’ve saved my life, you’ve saved my family. You, Oxy, Sky, and everybody here. There is no way I can ever repay you except to spread the word, and, hasten the demise of my spath.
I would love to have a letter that can be sent to a current victim that might be an “awakening” of sorts. One that might, just might, be written well enough so that bells start going off.
I know i can’t write one. I can’t write it without anger and emotion.
If anybody is up to the challenge, I would be standing in line to use it.
SK
superkid10
Joanie what are the sites you’re mentioning? I can’t find any.
Joanie123
Superkid10: There are several sites where folks will call out the “sociopath.”
1. Don’t date him girl
2. the dirty.com
3. Cheaterville.com
There are some others but I don’t know them off-hand.
If you type your exes name in Cheaterville they may not have his story but they will tell you how many women have typed his name in their search engine.
My ex has had his name typed in 8 times by various anonymous women.
There is also a site called removenames.com. This is so the spaths can get their names removed from the bad boy list they get put on but they have to pay for it.
And it doesn’t mean their name will stay off the list because if it can be removed it can also be put back on.
Joanie123
Superkid10: Here’s 2 more:
ripoffreport.com (you can report scammers; including exes)
reportyourex.com
skylar
My spath is too sneaky for that. Nobody would ever believe that he is a spath. He plays the innocent right down to the end. Those he has killed and those he has tortured, all believed to the very end that he was just a normal guy, with some flaws, human flaws.
The ONLY way you can know what this MOFO is, is to read a blog like this, or read a book on sociopaths. Then the red flags will inform you. It is ONLY the red flags which identify spaths that will tell you about people like my spath.
And my parents are really sneaky too. The link to the Narcissist mother, is the only one that helped me get past my cog/dis. It was there in black and white, telling me that, YES, she is doing these things on purpose. It isn’t a faux pas.
But all spaths hide behind the “faux pas”, the “inconsiderate behavior”, the “thoughtlessness”, the “I have problems because I was abuesd”… all the little things they mimic that make them appear human and forgivable. It’s beyond disgusting.
Knowledge is power and protection.
skylar
The good news is that we are not alone.
http://www.sott.net/articles/show/233865-Psychopaths-A-Solution-
There are a few other sites dedicated to exposing spaths.
Yes, this site seems strange in some cases, but that’s because after realizing that spaths exist, Laura suspended her disbelief and now opens her mind to many possibilities.
souljourner
I think the letter is a fine idea! I have a few people I could share it with right now. How about something like this. Feel free to change it and make it your own:
Dear Friend,
Please do not be alarmed. I am writing to you in good faith. You see, I believe you may be under the influence of a sociopath. Before you put down this letter thinking it some kind of prank, there is something you should know: if you have been feeling like you are “crazy” when you know you aren’t, you are right. Sociopaths know how to make you feel like you are crazy. Sociopaths look normal and blend well into society, at first. After a while, their abnormal behaviors show themselves little by little. It is so insidious that you might think you are just imagining it! If you bring it up, they may tell you that you are imagining it. What you are experiencing is the power inside yourself to recognize red flags. Even when we don’t want to acknowledge them in our own minds, our bodies have a way of telling us what we are experiencing without the mind’s approval.
Please follow up on this concern by researching sociopathic behavior on the internet. You can find lots of information at http://www.lovefraud.com. And you can talk to me anytime about your situation and I will be there to listen. You see, friend, I have been through it already and stand ready and willing to give you some benefit of my horrific experience. You do not have to go through this alone.
Sincerely!
Your friend
MoonDancer
Dear Friend
You are are about to get a life lesson – dont fail it…
Best of luck ~!
Ox Drover
That site is very SCARY to me….sorry, as much as I hate what psychopaths do, and as much as I realize that they are AMONG US, and that 99.9% of all the human misery in this world is caused by psychopaths…..it sounds too much like eugenics to me. It is unfortunate that there is no test that is foolproof in picking out psychopaths except for BEHAVIOR such as murder, rape, robbery etc. and we must wait until AFTER the deed to incarcerate them.
Even then, innocent people are incarcerated and/or executed even here under “democracy” to say nothing of the world at large. Look at What is going on now in Somilia, many countries in the “third world” and Iraq, Iran etc. now. How many dictators, presidents, governors, and kings have been or are psychopaths? Look at History as far back as it is recorded, many many psychopaths became the Hitlers and Stalins and Maos of this earth, causing tens of millions of deaths throughout all recorded history.
Sometimes in order to fight “injustice,” we (humans) become just like those we fight against.
Ana
Oxy,
I hope you got my email. UGH!! I did all the appropriate things to get rid of the hacker…this time it’s gonna stick, I’m sure of it. I would never do something like that/put people at risk on purpose…nevah, nevah, nevah.