Millions of sociopaths roam the planet. They inhabit all segments of the population. They are male, female, rich, poor, old, young, all races, all religions, all education levels, all demographic groups. Most of them are not in prison, so they move freely among us, living their lives by exploiting others.
Many take pride in their ability to manipulate others. Some who are criminals view crime as fun. They see nothing wrong with their behavior. As long as they keep succeeding, sociopaths will continue to behave the way they do.
So how do we make them fail?
Sociopaths only want to win, so failure is losing. Failure is not being able to exploit others, or at least not being able to get away with exploiting others.
I see four steps to shutting them down, and they all revolve around education.
1. Educating the public about sociopaths. This is the first step. So many Lovefraud readers who have tangled with sociopaths have told me, “I didn’t know these people existed!” Yes, they exist. Sociopaths live among us. And they are dangerous to our mental, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and physical health.
This is why I launched Lovefraud. This is why I’m embarking on the Lovefraud Education Program to teach high school and college students about sociopaths. (If you’re in a position to bring the program to your school, please contact terry@anderlypublishing.com.) And there are so many more people who need to be educated, including therapists, lawyers and judges. We all need to know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior, so that if we see them, we can respond appropriately—especially by running away.
2. Exposing known sociopaths. This, I believe, is the only strategy that really works against sociopaths. We can’t count on winning judgments against them and actually collecting our money. We can’t count on them being prosecuted or locked up. Sometimes the only way to keep them from harming others is to blow their cover.
We do need to be cautious about this, as I explained in a previous article, Exposing the sociopath. Many of you may not be able to skewer your exes publicly, as I did with James Montgomery. But you may be able to quietly speak your truth in your community, profession, church or wherever you know the predator is trolling for new victims. In the future, a few words of warning, coupled with growing public awareness of the disorder, may be enough.
3. Stop breeding sociopaths. Sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have a lot of sexual magnetism, and many Lovefraud readers have said that sex with the sociopath was the best they’ve ever had. But a consequence of sex, of course, is children. And because sociopathy is a highly genetic disorder, children born of sociopaths are at risk of inheriting a predisposition for the disorder.
One of the big things I hope will be accomplished through the Lovefraud High School Education program is to help young people understand that romantic relationships with sociopaths lead to nothing but trouble. If more people refuse to get involved with sociopaths, that will mean fewer at-risk children.
4. Appropriate parenting for at-risk children. Although sociopathy is highly genetic, inheriting the genes doesn’t necessarily mean that every at-risk child will grow up to be a sociopath. It is the interaction of genetics and the environment, including parenting, which actually creates the disordered individuals.
Many people realize, after a child is conceived or born, that their partner is a sociopath. If this is you, you need to take steps to raise the child so that he or she does not develop this disorder. I realize that this is immensely difficult and complicated, especially when the sociopathic parent will not let go of the child, which is often the case. But the healthy parents should try, as best they can, to teach the child how to love and feel empathy. (For information on how to do this, read Just Like His Father? by Dr. Liane Leedom.)
Perhaps with education, perseverance and time, our descendants will see the end of sociopathy. And they’ll thank us for taking the first steps to hasten the demise.
Dear Hens,
I haven’t visited LF in several days, so please accept my late condolences upon hearing of the loss of your beloved pet. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your were there for each other in flesh and spirit, and Harly’s spirit is still there by your side watching and protecting you even though his flesh is not.
(((((hughs)))))
Aeylah
My deepest
Thank you EB and Aeylah and justus5 – I miss him so much and the two wiener girls do too…
Oxy How did the trial go with the pervert geezer preacher?
Well, you know psychopaths are like STDs the LOVE JUST KEEPS ON GIVING…..
First off I was going to sell a flat bed trailer and my conestoga wagon, so I went to take it to the world champion chuckwagon races which is about 20 miles from here…and son D sat up with it so people coming to the wagon races could see it…got some good “bites” but no sales…well what does this have to do with PSYCHOPATHS YOU SAY? Well, when I went into my documents to get the title to the trailer, which I am OCD about keeping all vehhicle and trailer titles inside a Fire safe that I keep unlocked because there is no money or anything valuable in there, but just don’t want some robber to haul off (it could be moved) and guess what? I WAS MISSING 4 VEHICLE/TRAILER TITLES…now, they did not just walk off but I haven’t bought or sold a vehicle since the RV which I bought in 2007, and the Trojan Horse Psychopath was messing with my cell phone account, with my credit card accounts and all that and I KNOW he had access to my safe and documents, in fact, he stole lots of documents out of my egg donor’s desk/office and HAD TO HAVE gotten into my documents in order to get SS#s and such to do what he did to me….well, so on my way to leave off son D I had to stop by the DMV to get new titles ordered for the trailer I wanted to sell and the other vehicles I was missing titles for…what a mess!
But I eventually did get to court on time…small court room with lots of folks there for various hearings…the DA came in with a HUGE SUITCASE that must have weighed 100 pounds (no kidding!) and the woman public defender went from person to person whispering to them about their cases….most were Breaking and entering or drugs.
The PERV was sitting in the second set of “church pews” on the second bench back from the front by himself. I walked in, MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM, then walked over by him and said LOUDLY, “Well, Hi, Dickie, what are YOU doing here?” He didn’t reply, but I sat a couple of rows behind him and read from the records that had come in the mail from the circuit clerk (she also included a bill for $2.14 with it and after the hearing I went down to her office and thanked her for mailing it and paid my bill)
Anyway, I sat for a hour and a half and listened to the various other court cases…the public defender who apparently had ALL the cases except for ONE who had a private lawyer…came over and talked to Mr. PERV and I could hear some of what she said, and it looks like he has plead out and will get FIVE YEARS PROBATION….there is another hearing for October 26th. I’LL BE THERE.
The public information papers I got copies of described the sting and the arrest and that he did have “kiddie porn” on his computer and was trying to hook up with a 14 yr old (turned out to be a cop) and that he had sent “her” pictures of his junk…also that he had “showed remorse” and was SOOOOO SORRY he had made such a horrible mistake…like for over a YEAR he had been texting and e mailing and chatting with this “girl” and that’s a “mistake”????? Like he meant to chat with someone who was an adult even though this “girl” had REPEATEDLY told him she was 14.
BTW his screen name was “slyoldfox”—-yea, he was really “sly” all right! Stay tuned, gang, I’ll keep you posted on the outcome of Mr. Perv’s legal problems, but I think the legal ones are just the start for him because I have copies of the PUBLIC INFORMATION all about his “mistake” and folks you do not want to be a child molester or even a would-be child molester and have me on your arse! As long as they make stamps I will pass on this “public information” to any and all potential employers, land lords, and neighbors. Isn’t it amazing??? ErinBrock where are you girlfriend???? LOL See what the old Ox Drover done learned from you girlie!
Dear Oxy,
Way to go! It’s really awesome that you chose to be involved in informing the public about Pervy Pedophile. I don’t think that those people can change because they have a deep, deep disorder. I hope that he gets more than 5 years probation, he should be locked up for 5 years at least. Prison is not a deterrent for these pervs from reoffending, they will do it anyway because they are SICKOS!
I want to write spaths friend a letter to tell him what he really is (and send him all my documentation), my therapist said that this would be a good idea but to not get my hopes up on getting a reply.
My therapist also said that I should tell spath off since I never have and have kept all those feelings inside for fear of making waves. I will do that after he has signed the divorce papers. It will feel so good for me no matter how he reacts. He is such a freak! I changed the alarm code and garage code and the neighbors are looking out for me so I feel relatively safe. It’s time to start getting that backbone.
Also, update on son’s therapist, I now wrote him a letter saying that I want to meet with him. No response. It is entirely unethical for son’s therapist to not contact me and I believe it is illegal too. So I am going to write my attorney and find out how to proceed. Damn spath, I’m SURE he convinced son’s therapist that I’m the loony one and not to contact me. So unethical. Some heads are going to roll!
I have been reading lovefraud everyday and the articles have been really interesting.
Oxy,
that perv got probation? How screwed up is that?
Well someone has to keep an eye on him and you’re just the woman for the job. He is going to keep up the same old same old. They never change.
ahttp://www.kionrightnow.com/story/15361118/pacific-grove-man-arrested-a-second-time-for-child-porn
I had read the above story earlier this morning, but I couldn’t remember the details, so I googled “child porn arrested 2nd time”. I thought maybe the above story would pop up about Jason Wright – and it did, but so did several other stories about guys getting arrested twice for child porn. Like I said, these pervs never learn.
http://www.kionrightnow.com/story/15361118/pacific-grove-man-arrested-a-second-time-for-child-porn
you had an extra letter in it Sky so I edited it andn will read the article then get back to you.
KICK HIS BUTT OXY!!! WHAT GOOD IS GETTING OLD IF WE CAN’T USE OUR MOXY?
Yea, Sky, you read the article you linked and there is another link to the FIRST arrest and he is released on $100K bond, and can’t be allowed around children or a computer—-yea, real good supervision as he is AGAIN ARRESTED for MAKING PORN VIDS OF KIDS, including a “family friend’s” child.
His parents agreed to put up the bond the first time…I hope that they end up having to fork out the $100K—they also need to be responsible for enabling him.
These PERVs make me literally ILL–how disgusting that man is and his WIFE is just as bad. She may ALSO be a victim, but you know, even when we are the trauma bonded accomplices to the abuser, we still have the CHOICE to participate or not. We must accept responsibility for our own actions—whatever the motivation might be….as sad as that may be.
Dear One/Joy,
Getting old and looking like the little old gray haired lady (Read: Kathy Bates) definitely DOES have it’s advantages. It is funny, too, and my son and I use it all the time.
A while back I picked up 3 jars of Mayo that were soy-based, and I do NOT do soy, so the next time my son went to town I had him stop by wal marts and take it back…they REFUSED to take it back and told him that they do not do refunds on FOOD items….Okay, so the next time I go to town, I take it back and PRESTO, REFUND, no problem. I am a gray-haired little old lady, and he is a young bearded man. So most of the time I do any RETURNS of merchandise. Only ONE time did I ever have a person give me any problem on a refund and it was because it was a TIRE STORE that had sold me a “tubeless tire” that had a TUBE in it. Apparently a tech had replaced my expensive tire with a cheaper bad one he KNEW was bad and had put a tube in it to get it to hold air, but it blew out quickly and DUH? It had a tube in it. So I took it back to the manager and he called me a liar (I didn’t have the receipt with me, but I found it later that day) so told him that if he did not give me 100% refund AND a new good tire I would march in front of his store every day every hour while it was open with a “sandwich board” on my back saying “This store cheats pore old widder women”—and I WOULD HAVE TOO–he never apologized, but he did give me my money back AND a new tire.
Us Katy-Bates types CAN get away with some things that younger women can’t.