Millions of sociopaths roam the planet. They inhabit all segments of the population. They are male, female, rich, poor, old, young, all races, all religions, all education levels, all demographic groups. Most of them are not in prison, so they move freely among us, living their lives by exploiting others.
Many take pride in their ability to manipulate others. Some who are criminals view crime as fun. They see nothing wrong with their behavior. As long as they keep succeeding, sociopaths will continue to behave the way they do.
So how do we make them fail?
Sociopaths only want to win, so failure is losing. Failure is not being able to exploit others, or at least not being able to get away with exploiting others.
I see four steps to shutting them down, and they all revolve around education.
1. Educating the public about sociopaths. This is the first step. So many Lovefraud readers who have tangled with sociopaths have told me, “I didn’t know these people existed!” Yes, they exist. Sociopaths live among us. And they are dangerous to our mental, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and physical health.
This is why I launched Lovefraud. This is why I’m embarking on the Lovefraud Education Program to teach high school and college students about sociopaths. (If you’re in a position to bring the program to your school, please contact terry@anderlypublishing.com.) And there are so many more people who need to be educated, including therapists, lawyers and judges. We all need to know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior, so that if we see them, we can respond appropriately—especially by running away.
2. Exposing known sociopaths. This, I believe, is the only strategy that really works against sociopaths. We can’t count on winning judgments against them and actually collecting our money. We can’t count on them being prosecuted or locked up. Sometimes the only way to keep them from harming others is to blow their cover.
We do need to be cautious about this, as I explained in a previous article, Exposing the sociopath. Many of you may not be able to skewer your exes publicly, as I did with James Montgomery. But you may be able to quietly speak your truth in your community, profession, church or wherever you know the predator is trolling for new victims. In the future, a few words of warning, coupled with growing public awareness of the disorder, may be enough.
3. Stop breeding sociopaths. Sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have a lot of sexual magnetism, and many Lovefraud readers have said that sex with the sociopath was the best they’ve ever had. But a consequence of sex, of course, is children. And because sociopathy is a highly genetic disorder, children born of sociopaths are at risk of inheriting a predisposition for the disorder.
One of the big things I hope will be accomplished through the Lovefraud High School Education program is to help young people understand that romantic relationships with sociopaths lead to nothing but trouble. If more people refuse to get involved with sociopaths, that will mean fewer at-risk children.
4. Appropriate parenting for at-risk children. Although sociopathy is highly genetic, inheriting the genes doesn’t necessarily mean that every at-risk child will grow up to be a sociopath. It is the interaction of genetics and the environment, including parenting, which actually creates the disordered individuals.
Many people realize, after a child is conceived or born, that their partner is a sociopath. If this is you, you need to take steps to raise the child so that he or she does not develop this disorder. I realize that this is immensely difficult and complicated, especially when the sociopathic parent will not let go of the child, which is often the case. But the healthy parents should try, as best they can, to teach the child how to love and feel empathy. (For information on how to do this, read Just Like His Father? by Dr. Liane Leedom.)
Perhaps with education, perseverance and time, our descendants will see the end of sociopathy. And they’ll thank us for taking the first steps to hasten the demise.
Melly,
I appreciate your sentiment indeed, I have been posting for weeks. I don’t “expect” people to reply all the time, but common courtesy was all I was asking for. These ladies here saw that and replied, once it was brought to their attention. I thank them most graciously.
anetsu~ I like the fact you warned the new victim that they were going to be the next victim. I only wish I would have had someone tell me that *chuckle* And the fact that you have proof! to me thats the big factor right there, proof, it means what you say is truth as you have the proof to back it up, what does the socio have? nothing but their useless word. Good job!
Skylar~ (my son used to go to school with a Skylar, gorgeous little girl) I have to agree with that, I have read many posts on here from Miss Drover, she is very far ahead in her recovery. One day I want to be so far ahead of the socio it doesn’t bother me anymore…not there yet. I agree tho, living like this is better than the hell…altho I have my moments where I miss the illusion I fell for.
anetsu~ Thank you *smile* I wish to be like that one day, where you can come back and help, and visit and its not always going to be heartbreak…that has to end sometime…
Goldn,
I chose that screen name because it I read that it means “protection through knowledge”
When I google it now, I get the meaning of Skylar is “scholar, protection; fugitive; giving shelter” or “shield”.
Either way it seemed appropriate because when I left him, I was running and hiding and looking for knowledge to guide me.
skylar~ I like the name, it seems to fit your “self” I would bet IRL you are a soft spoken, easy going person. Someone who would sacrifice themselves to help others.
It seems that when we do leave, we seek out that spiritual part of ourselves, and its often a different path then what we thought we may take. We seek knowledge and understanding, and somehow it seems to help it sink in fully…takes us time to wrap our mind around who and what we were actually sleeping next to.
You seem as if you really have it together…There is a section on here, I am not sure where to find it again as this place is vast, like the library at Alexandria *smiles* anyhow, it was initially posted by Miss Donna, and it floored me when I read it, I was going in the same direction and had no idea so many of us were going that way as well…it was wonderful to read…
*goes to find that area*
And Skylar…thank you…a lot!
No Goldn, I don’t have it together. Far, far from it. The ONLY reason I survived the spath and the ONLY reason I’ve managed to learn what I’m dealing with, is by the grace of God.
Today, was a horrible day. Actually, so was yesterday.
Yesterday, I managed to score a free haircut and dry hair treatment from a student at a salon. When I got to my car, there was a “boot” on it.
Back in June 2009, I was having to sleep in my car during the day, because I couldn’t sleep in my parents’ house because I was worried that the trojan horse spath would see my car and sabotage it. I would get up early each morning and go look for a place to sleep, (since I didn’t sleep at night either). It was so hot that summer and the only place to park that was cool, was near the waterfront, under the bridge. I got ticketed, 4 times. I could never afford to pay it, so I didn’t and yesterday, some trough feeder, who feeds at the government trough, found my car and booted it. When I saw it and realized I didn’t have any credit cards on me, I decided to remove it myself by simply removing the entire tire and putting on the spare. Then I drove 50 miles home, then I had to drive back today with my credit card and pay the fine $500, and return their boot.
This is an injustice because I was running from the spath BECAUSE THE POLICE WERE WORKING WITH HIM TO HARRASS ME AND FRIGHTEN ME.
There will be justice some day. I know it.
Yet, the demise of the spaths cannot come soon enough.
It won’t happen until all good people stop enabling them. That includes working for the city, state or feds because these are spath institutions. they are run by corrupt and power hungry spaths.
It is better to be broke and destitute than to work for any entity that harbors corruption, because our talents and our money are ENABLING THEM.
Donna is right, with education, people will begin to see spathticity in ALL OF ITS FORMS: individuals, corporations and governments. Only then will we refuse to participate and refuse to enable their evil.
Skylar~ But you looked fabulous while doing it! ok, I am not trying to be smart, just make you smile. Seems like when bad days hit they hit with a vengeance, when its a good day we are breaking even and might be able to go 5-10 minutes without thinking about the socio.
I have my BA in criminal justice, all going through school we are trained to look for specific people, read body language, look for signs of lying…why on this earth the cops believe these soulless beings time and time again, they lie lie lie, and the cops believe them…it astounds the hell out of me, in all honesty. The victims come out on the losing end…it makes you scream out for justice.
Going through my garbage, I have discovered that so many people are uneducated about sociopathy, as soon as you mention it they discount everything said thereafter and it pisses me off. I went to this guys command, got blown off, went to ncis, got blown off, went to my own damned congressman, got blown off…I am now working with a senator to see how far this goes…my next option is going to every media outlet that will listen. Point is here, I agree they are corrupt and uneducated regarding sociopathy and the trail of human wreckage they leave in their wake, its disgusting…like the rape victim that continues to be raped by not only the attacker but then by the system. Hell the mayor of my little town of 7000 just got arrested for corruption.
My ex has so many enablers, his mother being the biggest one, the Marine Corps is the second biggest one.
Skylar, I am so sorry about what you have had to do to survive, but I see it as strength, I see it as a strong woman, fighting to make her way and overcoming the crappiest odds of all…and as far as things not being paid, the socio always makes sure you are the one in financial ruin, everything was always in my name…I cant even open a bank account anymore, let alone pass a credit check…
Sky, it’s brilliant that your bad day involved changing your own tire to remove a boot. you are nothing if not resourceful!
Ana – don’t understand your 10:07 post:
Ana says:
One Joy Step,
My email got hacked last week AND this week. Believe me my friends were not happy with me. I would do a virus scan then change your password, then junk his mail when it comes..or block.
This is the man at work? SAVE THEM if it is 🙂 snort.
is this in part meant to go to the poster somebody?
I am done here. Thank you Skylar for the info, you are wonderful. Deleting this account.
One Joy Step,
Oh, I thought you were getting mail from someone you did not want to get mail from. Sorry if I misunderstood you, One Joy. No harm, No foul. Love ya