Snakes in Suits—When Psychopaths Go to Work is a new book published by Dr. Robert Hare, the international expert on psychopaths, and Dr. Paul Babiak, an industrial-organizational psychologist. Although the book is primarily about psychopaths in the corporate world, it contains important information for anyone who is dealing with one of these predators.
Chapters 3 and 4 explain how psychopaths manipulate their victims, and it’s absolutely chilling.
Hare and Babiak describe a three-phase process psychopaths use in their parasitic approach to life. This isn’t a process psychopaths have to plan, they do it naturally. Here’s how it goes, according to the authors:
- First, they assess the value of individuals to their needs, and identify their psychological strengths and weaknesses.
- Second, they manipulate the individuals (now potential victims) by feeding them carefully crafted messages, while constantly using feedback from them to build and maintain control. Not only is this an effective approach to take with most people, it also allows psychopaths to talk their way around and out of any difficulty quickly and effectively if confronted or challenged.
- Third, they leave the drained and bewildered victims when they are bored or otherwise through with them.
Psychological game
As a result of the manipulation, the psychopath establishes a “psychopathic bond” with the victim. Here’s how Hare and Babiak summarize the manipulation:
The psychopath’s psychological game involves analyzing the individual’s expectations and desires, and then reflecting them in a psychological mask that is so convincing the person bonds with him or her. This bonding can take place very quickly, even during the space of one cross-country airplane ride. There are two payoffs: the psychopath wins the immediate game by gaining the person’s trust, and the victim, now in the grip of the psychopath’s power, will soon give up whatever the psychopath requests or demands.
If you’ve been victimized by a psychopath, you’re probably trying to figure out how it happened. Read Snakes in Suits, especially chapters 3 and 4.You’ll find your answers.
Lovefraud mention
Snakes in Suits includes a sidebar about Lovefraud.com in the chapter about personal self-defense. I greatly appreciate the reference.
Another note—although I draw on the work of Dr. Robert Hare in Lovefraud.com, I’ve chosen to use the term “sociopath” in place of his use of the word “psychopath.” The reason is that most people assume a psychopath is a deranged serial killer, which may prevent them from realizing that the spouse, relative or coworker who is making them miserable may have the personality disorder. My purpose is simply to enhance communication.
Louise
moveingon:
Thank you. I always have wondered what reporting him would do. What does it accomplish in the end and what does it say about ME?
Revenge sites? On here or Google? I am sure it is juvenile and just might make me realize not to do it.
Louise
moveingon:
But if I report him and he does get in trouble, maybe it will prevent the next woman from getting hurt. No one else has ever had the guts to report him. Everyone is too afraid for their jobs. So he just keeps trolling on, but because they don’t change, I guess I have to wonder if it would stop him??
moveingon
Eb, my point, SPs don’t change, in my experience if outed they become even better at covering their tracks. If he gets into trouble, he will of course lie, manipulate, and his one mission will be to find out who it was. He is not going to change, if he is a sexual predator he will continue to be. My SP is so vindictive even against his own children, they don’t care about anyone except themselves. You can’t save every woman he targets, but you can save yourself from any more drama with the SP.
moveingon
Google revenge ideas, there are so many web sites that for a fee will send stupid packages, emails etc. Obviously there is a market out there, and I guess most of it can be seen as a prank. But we all know that if you out a SP, you are guaranteed an unpleasant pay back. Is is worth it?
one/joy_step_at_a_time
omg movingon! never thought to do that!!! and i google everything post spath.
hens
I have thought about having my photo taken with a hunky cowboy, him holding the wiener dogs with his arm around me, all of us smiling real big…mail it and say merry Xmas asshole..but i dont know his address or a hunky cowboy..
one/joy_step_at_a_time
naw, don’t mail it to him: Facebook it! and if you get out and about this summer, sure you can find one hens.
you doing okay with the severe weather down there hens? all okay at your place?
hens
1steprs – Yesterday was a bumping ride, tornados all around me, siren’s going off..I am ok no damage here, thanks for askin.
Ok I wont mail it – prolly cant get the wieners to smile anywho…
one/joy_step_at_a_time
you just need to find something that looked like that damn cat he left and put one in each of their mouths. 🙂
Ox Drover
ONE JOY!!!!!!! That is an evill thought, sorry I didn’t think of it! Actually, he would not have cared….would be a great idea really if it would have upset him…he never even came back for the cat until he used it as an excuse to show off the pick up he had.