By Ox Drover
If I told you that you had to eat an entire cow, do you think you could do it? How about if I told you that you had to eat an entire cow in only ten minutes? Do you think you could do it? “Holy cow! I can’t do that!” you might say.
Well, I think we all have our personal “cows” that we try to eat. Big jobs or big projects that we look at and say “Noooooo way, I can’t eat all of that!” So having seen this particular “cow” as too big to swallow in one bite, we never even attempt to eat it. We just let it sit there in the middle of our lives, using up our resources, taking up space, and growing bigger by the day! Every time we look at this “pet cow,” it is bigger and bigger and more impossible to swallow in one bite. Its horns grow longer and it gets a worse and worse attitude toward us and we begin to fear it more. Maybe even when people come over to visit and they see our “cow,” they say something like, “What is a big cow doing in your living room?” We may even reply, “What cow? I don’t have a cow.”
If, however, we look at the reality of this “cow—”or any other big “cow—”things are a bit different. If you stop to think, a McDonald’s hamburger is a “quarter pounder” and four quarter pounders equals one pound of beef. Since an average-sized cow will produce about 300 pounds of boneless hamburger/beef, then one cow is equal to 1,200 McDonald’s Quarter Pounders. So you have more than likely eaten more than one cow in your lifetime already! One bite at a time.
I can remember looking at lots of things that seemed like such big projects, big “cows,” that I just didn’t think I could tackle them at all. If you break these big projects down to bite sized pieces though, then you can eat them in 10 minutes—10 minutes at a time.
Let’s say the “big cow” is cleaning out your garage, which is stuffed to the rafters and you don’t even know where to start. Spend 10 minutes working on it today. Just 10 minutes! Then the next day, another 10 minutes. Small bites of a big cow will eventually get the job done.
When we start to look at all the work we need to do to finish the “big project” of our own healing after the complete devastation of the relationship with the psychopath, sometimes we feel like we have, I think, a whole herd of “cows” in our lives that we have to contend with. We may feel like we are overwhelmed by such a mountain of “male bovine excrement” as well, that seems to be piling up higher and higher each day. There are always the everyday projects of work, housekeeping, children, pets, community and other things that take our energy, so that we seem to have little or no energy left for dealing with sweeping out the bovine excrement. Even thinking about eating our way out of the problem doesn’t seem possible because we can’ swallow it all at once.
Changing our expectations from eating the cow in one bite, to eating the cow one bite at a time works. So start breaking your expectations down to smaller doses of things you can swallow! Then just keep on chewing!
Dear EB, Baby doll you have been gnawing on that cow for a long time now, I think it is PERFECTLY OKAY for you to spit out a piece of gristle! LOL ((((Hugs)))))
And I don’t recommend freezing any of the meat …….
Because packages of that cow tend to get lost in the bottom of the freezer and just when you think you’ve finished it off……you find MORE.
Yes Oxy…..i’m an overeater!!!!
SPIT!
Marvellous analogy there Oxy! You really are the Queen of Metaphor! I loved EBs comment too, about feeling free to spit out the gristle!
Bit like the Chinese saying,”Journey of 1000 miles begins with one step!” but yours is funnier,LOL!
I think Im doing better on the whole, no feelings left of missing my daughters, no loving feelings, not even any anger left, just contempt and disgust, and I can even laugh at their pathetic spath antics now,{as long as I stay out of their radar!}I even feel,” GREAT theyr getting there come uppance!” I would never have dreamed Id be crowing and feeling happy and amused at their stupid self defeating antics!Like “YES!!!YES!! God, BRING IT ON! BRING THE BIATCHES DOWN!!The monkey on my shoulder would have been berating me with”What kind of a Mothe r feels this toward her own kids?”
Well I DO, and it feels F–ing GREAT! Vindication,! Karma!
Another one bites the dust! TOWANDA!
As I said before, makes no diff.if they pushed you out of THEIR body{like Oxys egg donor,} or you pushed them out of YOUR body,a SPATH is a SPATH!They re ll F–ers, and they never change, and I F–ing hate them all! So there! And thats the real final truth.Which is FINALLY setting me FREE!!!!WAY TO GO!!!
Mama Gem is finally GETTING IT AND GETTING THERE!!!
Ive worked thru rage, sadness, wall to wall guilt,{misplaced,} disbelief,bargaining with God,pleading, trying to buy my kids love,{didint work}trying to pretend were a “nice normal family.”huge anger,depression, round and round, recycling all of the above.Swallowing down anger. Begging for an apology. trying to make sense of it all. {still cant do that one.}Im finally at a place where its OK for me to feel contempt for the F–ers, and disown them.I almost felt I was guilty for giving birth to them!
Cany change the past, but a future without spaths in it, —Sounds good to me!! Whoopee!
Love,
Mama gemXX
Oxy,
hmm, maybe this explains why I’ve gained 23 pounds. All that eating! Actually, I have been overeating in an attempt to drown the feelings in my gut. I know that’s what I do. In fact, I snack all day but especially at night. Instead of eating the figurative cow, I eat the literal one. Good metaphor to keep in mind when reach for that snack.
Yea, EB, it is kind of like meat in the freezer, there seems to be always one more package…but if you dont’ freeze some of it then it may start to stink before you get it all down yer gullet! There’s 100 ways we could change the analogy. But I do know one thing that if you don’t KILL IT it just keeps on GROWING and getting bigger and bigger and getting more and more of an attitude!
Sky, actually carbs do make us chill, and that is one reason that we do over eat! BEEN THERE AND DUN THAT!!! So that is why I am on this new nutritional plan cause I gained more than 23 pounds. I’m at minus 30 pounds and counting, and still have more to go—and it is SLOW going but I am at least heading in the right direction DOWN not continually up!
Today I started wearing weights on my legs and will wear some heavier ones next week to help me burn more calories and strengthen myself. The thing is that I am trying to choke down every bite of the BEAST, and like EB says just when I think I have choked down the LAST FREAKING BITE I FIND ANOTHER PACKAGE OF MEAT to eat! But I AM getting there and I am going to jump up and down and scream YEA!!!!! FOR ME!!!! Every time I make a little more progress in getting rid of the BEAST! If nothing else I have stopped it from schitzing on my carpet! LOL
BTW I made some AWESOME jalepaneo bread yesterday that is low(er) sodium and high in taste (bread machine bread) and I can at least have a limited amount of it. Even son D says it is great and he loves it so didn’t even beef too much about rice for supper tonight!
Oh, Gem, if THAT is “I’ve gotten over my anger” damn woman, I’m glad I didn’t see you when you WERE ANGRY! LOL Heck, you almost said the FARK WORD! LOL ROTFLMAO hee hee I know what you mean though! Ditto! Glad to hear you ROAR and not whine! Sounds a lot better! I don’t even need my hearing aids to hear you all the way from OZ.
MOO~!
Yea, “Moo” my arse! Shoot that sucker! Tranquilize them with a Thirty ought six! Makes them soooooo calm!
Oxy,
my favorite food is FAT. especially in cheese form, but I’ll take any fat. 🙁
Hi Mama Gem!
Your future sounds wonderful.