By Ox Drover
If I told you that you had to eat an entire cow, do you think you could do it? How about if I told you that you had to eat an entire cow in only ten minutes? Do you think you could do it? “Holy cow! I can’t do that!” you might say.
Well, I think we all have our personal “cows” that we try to eat. Big jobs or big projects that we look at and say “Noooooo way, I can’t eat all of that!” So having seen this particular “cow” as too big to swallow in one bite, we never even attempt to eat it. We just let it sit there in the middle of our lives, using up our resources, taking up space, and growing bigger by the day! Every time we look at this “pet cow,” it is bigger and bigger and more impossible to swallow in one bite. Its horns grow longer and it gets a worse and worse attitude toward us and we begin to fear it more. Maybe even when people come over to visit and they see our “cow,” they say something like, “What is a big cow doing in your living room?” We may even reply, “What cow? I don’t have a cow.”
If, however, we look at the reality of this “cow—”or any other big “cow—”things are a bit different. If you stop to think, a McDonald’s hamburger is a “quarter pounder” and four quarter pounders equals one pound of beef. Since an average-sized cow will produce about 300 pounds of boneless hamburger/beef, then one cow is equal to 1,200 McDonald’s Quarter Pounders. So you have more than likely eaten more than one cow in your lifetime already! One bite at a time.
I can remember looking at lots of things that seemed like such big projects, big “cows,” that I just didn’t think I could tackle them at all. If you break these big projects down to bite sized pieces though, then you can eat them in 10 minutes—10 minutes at a time.
Let’s say the “big cow” is cleaning out your garage, which is stuffed to the rafters and you don’t even know where to start. Spend 10 minutes working on it today. Just 10 minutes! Then the next day, another 10 minutes. Small bites of a big cow will eventually get the job done.
When we start to look at all the work we need to do to finish the “big project” of our own healing after the complete devastation of the relationship with the psychopath, sometimes we feel like we have, I think, a whole herd of “cows” in our lives that we have to contend with. We may feel like we are overwhelmed by such a mountain of “male bovine excrement” as well, that seems to be piling up higher and higher each day. There are always the everyday projects of work, housekeeping, children, pets, community and other things that take our energy, so that we seem to have little or no energy left for dealing with sweeping out the bovine excrement. Even thinking about eating our way out of the problem doesn’t seem possible because we can’ swallow it all at once.
Changing our expectations from eating the cow in one bite, to eating the cow one bite at a time works. So start breaking your expectations down to smaller doses of things you can swallow! Then just keep on chewing!
hello junk food, it’s me Erin. My cow seems to be getting bigger. I’m sad cuz my situation keeps getting worse. I know that I need to lose 100lbs to help get me out of the situation and into something that I really want, but the box of hot tamales is in front of me-that perfect mix of cinnamon and sugar.
I contacted a real attorney today, but since the whole damn city is shut down due to Mardi Gras, I may not hear from her for days. The job is blocking my unemployment and is refusing to give me a copy of my performance evaluation, that I signed but never received. Turns out I need it to apply to the VA hospitals. I picked up last measly paycheck today and the HR lady told me that I’m eligible for rehire, after the 1st lady told me that I wasn’t. They have blocked me from getting two jobs already. The healthcare community is small here and apparently some people think that it’s ok to bypass HR and call nurses from my dept, ones who are part of the problem, btw, to dig into the details of my termination. That can’t possibly be legal.
I don’t handle unemployment well-especially since I was set up. I was crying to dad because he had to send me money today and then had the ex Marine himself in tears because of what is happening. He’s knows I didn’t ask for this. I feel like such a failure right now when I just should be mad as all hell at the spaths who did this. What’s wrong with this picture?
NOOO, Oxy, I dont think its Anger, LOL!!{Ive done that one!}
Remember when I was so holier than thou about one step using the F word all the time? One has forgiven me, bless her!
Now I TOTALY GET THAT!! No-one has called me a hypocrite yet, and for that I thank you all! I just had a lot of Merde to plough t hrough!
Nobody said Fuck you! like Billy Connolly, {except maybe Lily Allen,}and right now I LOVE,Love,Love! it! Its a real Towanda moment for me,finally being able to give the middle finger to both my spath Ds.
Ive finally got to the place where I dont givea flying F–k about them.You all TOLD me Id get here,I didnt believe you but you were right!
EB, I used to think, that woman has MOXY! and you do! Finding my Adament -EB also. What a gal!!. You are ALL awesome.We’re all getting there!No longer victims, but survivers!! TOWANDA for us all!! Hi 5s everyone!!
Love, your feisty GemXX Yea thats the word, FEISTY!
Mama aint takin no crap from no-one no more! Y’all get that?My Moxy is finally showing up! Hooray for me, and all of us!!
Oxy, that roar is not anger, its TRIUMPH!!!WOOOhOO!!
Gem-that sounds pretty awesome to me!
I luv hot tamales – they stick to my teeth. Erin I am sorry your feeling like a failure. I dont have any advice too offer. You have to take care of yourself, what good is being mad at the spath’s gonna do ya? Spath’s are everywhere, just do the best you can hot tamale..
I kinda feel like a failure today. Was at a client’s house today overseeing a plumbing job, lot’s of well to do folks where there, talking about their kid’s college fund’s, their retirement plans, trip’s to Italy, all coming and going in their 70 thousand dollar car’s, dripping in diamonds etc. It got me to thinking how my parents never cared if I went to school or not. They never expressed how important an education would be. Hell I was on my own at age 16, finished highschool and just worked hard at hourly labor job’s. I am embarressed to talk about my financial situation. If I dont work I dont eat, it will be that way till I die, not till I retire….Would of been nice to put my boys through college. I did buy their first vehicles, paid their insurance on them till they were 21,, I did alot but still today I felt like Dudley DoRight…
Hens-I know I shouldn’t be eating the hot tamales. I am just really mad at what these people did. I can’t help it. To lie and take away someone’s job and livelihood and now prevent me from getting jobs. I shouldn’t have to lose my home and default on my loan.
Don’t feel like Dudley DoRight. We can’t all be like “those” people and if you were, you wouldn’t be the Hens who we all love so much. I understand how you feel though. I will never achieve financially what my parents did but that’s ok. I just do not handle unemployment well and having to rely on daddy. This happened once before right after my spath dumped me and I swore that it would NEVER happen again, and now here I am. I just want a job.
Maybe you could work nites somewhere, restuant, hotel, etc – something that would keep you active and still have days to pursue a better job…my son has finally gone on a lowfat diet with his wife, they have both lost some weight – now HE could eat the whole cow – just give him some hiens57 and step back.. I never say much to him about being overwieght cause he is so sensitive, and I can eat 24/7 and not gain a pound.. well i have gained 3 pounds but i needed too…
Hamburgers come from cows??? Damn! I think I’ll become a vegetarian now. (LOL)
Hens-I got fired from the hospital. Wrongful termination. They set me up and now they’re blacklisting me. I have apps out everywhere and I’m getting an attorney cuz in nursing, it’s almost impossible to get something if you’ve been fired.
snake fries anyone?
snake fries? that sounds gross!